If I Were Your Fallen Angel
"I was lonely, I needed someone to see me through.
And I was at the end of the road, I needed someone to cut me loose.
Then an Angel out of the blue, gave me the sense that I might make it through.
And somehow I survived with no rhyme or reason.
And now I know I'll make it, through the miracle of you."
Spike took in a deep breath, as he entered his hotel room. The area was well populated except for the corridors to the different rooms. He slowly plopped down on his back onto the soft mattress, as he glanced around the darkened room. There were drawers and dressers propped beside a closed balcony door, the room gave off a dark gloomy glow, considering the dark crimson colors.
Spike slowly sat up, as he glanced around the room, then walked over to the balcony, pulling open the door. He leaned over the edge of the pole, as he glanced down at the moving cars of the day. A cool breeze swept over him, as his brown eyes gazed around the city streets.
"So this is Venus...," he uttered, slightly smiling, "It's been awhile." Spike solemnly thought back to his last conversation with Faye. What the hell was she trying to prove anyway? He always asked himself. He didn't want care too much, for the fact, he didn't want to care at all. Caring for people all his life only brought him upon his own death.
So, he never got her out of his mind, as for much. There were plenty of times, he thought back to Julia. But mostly, it was in the past. Before, anything in his life had ever changed. So, Faye was right. Spike was lonely, he needed someone or some type of feeling to keep him from being the person he came to be.
He took a breath, as he gazed over his shoulder, to where the knocking on his door occurred. The door abruptly swung open, as he noticed Faye inviting herself in.
"No, I have never heard of knocking," she uttered, knowing exactly what he was going to say. Spike smirked, as he leaned his back against the rail, turning his body to face hers.
"What do you want?" Spike muttered, rubbing the back of his neck, as the sun set behind him. He slowly walked into the room, as he sat down on a big chair, in front of a big television set.
"Here," Faye uttered, as she walked over in front of him, and tossed a card in his lap. Spike took it into his hand and brought it to his face. Faye took in a deep breath, "Thought you might need that. It actually starts tomorrow night, in this Casino." Spike nodded his head solemnly, as he tossed the card aside, onto a nearby table.
The man slowly brought out a cigarette from his blue jacket, as he lit it and took a long drag. His eyes gazed at her, one dark, the other light. Faye wondered about him, most of all. He had such a dark past. Did he ever forget it?
"Done?" Spike questioned, abruptly. Faye suddenly grabbed the cigarette out of his mouth, as she held it aside.
"Would you freakin' stop acting as though you're too good for me?" she announced, her eyes tensed. Spike stared up at her a bit astounded, as he slowly stood up.
"All right," he replied, simply, "What do you want, Faye? Is that better?" She rolled her eyes, as she took in a deep breath, half annoyed. She hated herself for even bothering with a man who cared shit about her. And it bothered her more, that part of her wanted to sock him in the face, and the other wanted to have him hold her in his arms.
"It's not what you think...," Faye uttered, her voice trailing away. She didn't want to tell him, nor did she want to.
"And what's not what I think?" he questioned, simply, his hand in his pockets, a smirk on his face.
Faye sighed, as her gaze turned from his, "Don't you ever think of me, as you do right now."
He laughed, "You did what you did, why do you even care what I think? You never cared what I thought, Faye. Don't start now."
"Fuck you, Spike," Faye scolded, her anger building in the pit of her stomach, "I have it up to here, with you treating me like shit!"
"No, fuck you, Faye," Spike yelled back, a bit rowdy. "I'm sick of fucken havin' to deal with you, I'm sick of havin' to be the one to save your ass everytime you screw up."
"Yeah, so you didn't care when he just fucked me didn't you?" she yelled out, feeling her composure release. She wasn't ashamed to say anything to a man like Spike. He was the one without any shame, any dignity for that fact, any pity...
Spike paused, as he let out a sigh, "Why the hell you bringin' that into it?"
"Isn't that the reason, Spike?" Faye questioned, tauntingly, "Isn't that the reason that you treat me like I'm some sprung ass whore following your ass around? That's where you're wrong, I would never stoop as low to liking someone like you."
Spike stayed quiet, a smile upon his face. It angered her even more the fact that he had such an annoying expression, and didn't bother to say another word to her. Spike stared at the young woman, her breathing far from normal, as she gazed up at him, walking towards her. She felt his chest brush up against her own, as her breathing returned to normal. What was he doing? she kept asking herself, as he stared down at her, his eyes not turning away from her own.
Faye slowly stepped back, as he stopped short in front of her, his face hovering inches from her own. She slightly closed her eyes, as she felt him leaning in closer. Spike solemnly grabbed the cigarette from Faye's hand as he took a quick drag, and simply blew it in her face. Faye opened her eyes, widely, annoyed.
He smiled, tauntingly, "You wouldn't, would you?" He let out a sigh, as he walked over to the table, and sat down on the edge of it, taking long drags. Faye stood there, feeling oddly pathetic, as she gazed at the man, who had seemed happy about what he just did to her.
She slowly walked over to him, as she felt the sudden urge to pull him against her body, and that she did. Her hands tightened around his collar, as her emerald eyes burned into his. There was a moment of quietness that fell over the two, as they stood in there position, awkwardly.
To Spike's surprise, he felt Faye's crimson lips press against his, roughly. The woman kissed him, harder, and he returned those kisses, roughly. Her hand still gripped onto his shirt, as she quickly broke the kiss, and stared up at the tall man in front of her.
Spike gazed down at her, as he quickly wiped off the smears of her lipstick that stained on his lips. Faye quickly puled away, as she turned her gaze from his own, surprised at her sudden action. The two had never kissed ever since they had known eachother. It was her sudden move that broke everything, and she didn't know to consider that good or bad.
Spike stared at her, not a bit of an expression upon his face. Faye had a bit of a smirk upon her face, as she stared up at him, roughly.
" As they say cowboy... easy come, easy go," she uttered, simply, then made her way out of the room.
The dealer laughed as he stared at Faye, "Hm, didn't know that the sure-shot master of poker . . . the legendary female gambler Poker Alice was still alive. Lady Luck must've been on you're side."
Faye let out a humorous laughter, as she stared at her deck of cards, "If she was still alive she'd be 219 years old now."
"Of course. You don't look over 200. Besides, Alice never lost during her lifetime. She kept winning, without cheating." The young woman's eyes nearly bulged out of her socket, as she stared up at the man, her emerald gaze burning into his.
"Who do you call cheating?" she retorted, dropping her deck to the card.
The dealer let out a laugh, as he turned away, "No one at this point, Sweetie." There was a slight tone of laughter in his voice, when Faye immediately grabbed him by the collar. The middle-aged man turned to her in surprise at her sudden action.
"Don't you ever call me Sweetie," she muttered, her eyes tightening, "No one calls me that." Her eyes turned over her shoulder as she noticed two security guards standing behind her, she slowly let go of the man, as she turned around to face them, a happy smile upon her round face. "Didn't call for any trouble guys, not in the mood for it."
Faye let out a mumble as she made way down the darkened streets. She didn't know whether it was her, herself that wanted to go the way she did, or whether she didn't care at all. Her emerald eyes scurried about studying the moving shadows below her, as the sound of her boots thudded against the bricked ground. She slowly pulled her red jacket tightly around her body, as she felt a sudden breeze strike her, sending shivers down her back.
She let out a longing sign, as her eyes gazed to an abandoned building, "Would you come for me?" Faye uttered, softly, as she dug her hands into the pocket of her jacket. She took in a deep breath, when she turned the corner. She didn't know exactly where she was headed, but was sure to make way home anytime before she knew Spike would start tripping on her.
Home, Faye nearly laughed at the word. What exactly was home? Was it where she stayed or was it the Bebop and Crew itself? She wanted so much to be able to answer it correctly, but not a thought opposed her. It was true, perhaps everywhere she went, everywhere she was, was her home. That she kept telling herself.
Faye's thought suddenly got distorted, when she felt a strong rough hand clasp tightly over her crimson lips, as she felt her body hit the adobe wall with a loud thud, that nearly felt like breaking bones. She stayed quiet, as her gaze met with eyes that startled her, made her fear what the person would have done. She stayed with her eyes wide open, as she pressed her palms against the wall.
"Isn't it a little late, for the little lady to be wandering about at this hour on Venus," the scornful laughter of a man sounded out. Faye pondered to herself, as the hands muffled her words even if she had expected to say it. Why had she become so weak? she thought, solely. Was it the reason that all she wanted and hoped for, was for Spike to come to the rescue? It was ridiculous, that it made her nearly laugh.
The man's gaze pierced onto her, as she felt his rough hand brush against her leg. What a pervert, Faye thought disgustingly. Her reaction came that minute, when her free hand slapped him hard across the face. A part of her wished that it had been Spike, why couldn't she just have taken it all out that way. It did somehow relieve some tension. Faye hadn't been scared one bit, it was just another stupid big guy who claimed to threaten her, or he would have sooner.
She suddenly felt the man's hand removed from her lips, as he pressed it tightly around her neck. Faye turned her head aside, as she let out a breath, feeling a bit nauseous. "Stupid bitch!" She heard the man muttered, as she smelt alcohol escape his lips.
Faye let out a cry as the sharp edge of a blade glided across her upper chest. Her emerald eyes glared at the hideous face that hovered pleasant above her. "Let me go, or else..."
He let out a retorted laughter, as he stared at the weak woman, the stain of blood streaked against her white undershirt. "Let you go?" he laughed, cockily, scratching his hairy head, "And why should I do that?"
"If I were you, I;d do what the girl say," a voice sounded out, as Faye turned to her side, realizing a tall dark figure heading their way. She recognized the voice, as she felt her heart drop, noticing Spike's fluffy hair from where she stood. Her hands tightened around the man's wrist, as it laid upon her neck. "You wouldn't want to get her mad now would you?" Spike questioned, solemnly, his hands dove into the pocket of his long trench coat.
The ugly man nearly laughed it off, as he suddenly whipped out a gun, then pointing it at the green haired man. Spike had a smile upon his face, in that second a gun shot sounding. He stood there, as Faye's attacker fell onto his knees with a loud thud, against the dirty puddles. Spike slowly walked over to the man, as his eyes gazed down at him, as though he were lower than dirt. Spike simply dug the bullet into his mouth. Faye's eyes closed abruptly as she heard the aftermath of another gunshot.
She shuddered at the thought, of what Spike had just done. Why had he been so cold? It was never like that, up to this point. But she guessed that nothing mattered anymore, for he said it himself. Her head pressed back against the brick building as her emerald gaze slowly turned to the man, and the dead body that huddled in the puddles of a darkened alley.
Spike's gaze turned to her, causing a shiver to run over her body. She brushed her dark locked out of her face, as she stood there without a slight word, not even as to a thank you.
The ride back was quiet, except for the soft mumbling of the car radio. Faye's arms crossed her chest, as her eyes fixed outside the window. He had pulled up in some red sports car, that it made her wonder. But she knew well not to wonder too much about a man like he because it annoyed her just as much as she told herself to be annoyed. Spike's eyes gazed at the woman from the corner of his brown eyes, as he turned straight ahead, a cigarette upon his lips.
"What did I tell you about leavin' the hotel?" he muttered, annoyed.
"You didn't tell me shit," Faye remarked, simply, and clearly. Spike paused, as his eyes fixed straight ahead of him. He quickly turned off the radio, revealing how annoyed he had been. She didn't' know whether he was worried or what. But she really hoped....
"The only reason I saved your ass again, is because I don't want you to screw anything up again, don't think differently," Spike muttered, letting her hopes down immediately. Faye rolled her eyes, as she mimicked him, but turned to the window.
"Whatever you say, Spike," she uttered, "Whatever you say."
"Glad you agree," he replied, as he suddenly stopped the car in front of the hotel. He turned off the engine, as he stepped out, handing his keys to one of the workers, to have it parked somewhere. Faye followed, as she hesitated to walk into the entranceway. And just when she was about to.
"Cover yourself up," Spike sounded, as his hands dug into his pockets, solemnly. She hated how he always loved his women so damn elegant, just like Julia, she thought bitterly. Faye gazed down at herself, suddenly realizing the streak of blood, and her white shirt ripped lower than she could possibly where a shirt. Spike let out a humorous laughter, as he walked towards the door of the hotel, "Unless you want your breasts danglin' all over the place, that's fine with me."
She gazed at him in odd silence, a bit shocked as to how straight forward he could have been with her. Faye quickly pulled her red jacket over her chest, as she crossed her arms and soon followed.
Faye hesitated, as she sat in the quietness of her own hotel room, staring down at the carpeted floor. Not a thought seemed to disturb her, except for the fact that she pondered so much about Spike, himself. She was annoyed of having feelings for him, of thinking so damn much. Her emerald eyes quickly gazed upward, as her door slowly swung open, as if to answer her questions.
"Not leavin' tonight?" he questioned abruptly, leaning against the brim of the door.
"What do you want, Spike?" Faye muttered, showing a bit of carelessness. He slowly made his way in, willingly inviting himself.
"Do I always gotta want somethin'?" he replied, a smirk upon his face.
Faye let out a breath, as her gaze stayed away from his own, "Don't fuck with me, Spiegel. I'm not with it...."
"And you're without following my orders?" Spike remarked, causing her emerald eyes to meet his. Faye paused, as she stared up blankly at the man. "If you're up to screw anything up, I say get the hell out of here, Faye." His voice was harsh, as his eyes were cold, staring at her, frustrated.
"Yeah, you know what, I'm not capable of doin' every damn thing you ask of me, all right. You knew that from the start, if you say that you know me at all," she replied, reluctantly.
"I never said I knew you," Spike stated, simply, "I don't know you, Faye...Not anymore."
Her eyes gazed up at him, solely, "And what's the suppose to mean? Shouldn't you be saying that to someone else? You're the one that changed, Spike. Not me."
"You say I'm the one changin', but don't ever think my feelings are gonna change for you," he muttered, bitterly.
She let out a scornful laughter, "Please...and you think Id ever want you that way?"
"Yeah," Spike uttered, "you've got your Alonia for that." He did it again, he always did that, it annoyed her. He made her feel so low, that she didn't even want to talk to him anymore.
"And you've got your dead Julia for that," Faye replied, simply. Spike stared at the woman sitting coldly.
"Don't even bring her up," he uttered, a statement, "You;'re not good enough to speak that name." Faye abruptly stood up, as she walked towards him, her eyes glaring into his own.
"I'm not good enough," she repeated, "never good enough for anything. Just some dirty slut..." She hated to talk that way of herself, that way that she never wanted anyone to think of her as. But it came out so suddenly, that she hadn't been able to control herself.
"Maybe," Spike answered simply, "you're never goin' to measure up to Julia, and try to remember that, and quit tryin' so hard. What the hell are you tryin' to prove anyway? Listen, I'm not in the mood for this...cause I know if I say anything else, it's just not gonna be anything nice. I don't even know why the hell I bother with you Faye, why I even give a fuck where you are, and what you're doin'....cause maybe you are what you think."
Her eyes gazed at the man, as he then made way out of her room without another word. Faye took in a deep breath, as she felt herself sit back down upon her bed. She simply tried to shrug it off, but just couldn't, as her eyes fell to the floor. She felt like bursting into tears, but she wanted anything to hold it back.
Faye let out a long sigh, as she felt her emerald eyes grow watery. She blinked hard, as she quickly wiped the wet drop away. Her eyes quickly gazed up, as she noticed Spike still standing at the door, his hand on the knob. The tall man slowly walked in, as he stopped short a couple feet away from her. So, he just stood there, Faye thought. He stood out there, ever since, he said he was going to leave.
He slowly reached over for a small cloth on her bed, as he handed it to her. Faye's eyes gazed up at him, as he slowly held it against her blood stained chest, causing her to scoot back, abruptly. "Wipe it off, you're still bleeding," he uttered. Her hand slowly fell over his, as she took the cloth into her own fingers. He quickly pulled away, placing his hands into the pocket of his pant. Faye tried to read the expression upon his face, but it laid so confident and so cool like usual that she couldn't find a slight thing different.
The man stood before her, as he just watched her slow steady movements and the words repeated in his head, although, Faye didn't know what it was....don't fall for her, don't fall for her, don't fall for her.
I'd hate to walk away from you,
As if this never existed
Cause when we kiss, the moment after,
I look at you different.
And my minds gone half crazy
Cause I can't leave you alone
And I'm wondering if it's worth me holding on.
Note: sowwi writing dis chapter took so long. please keep the reviews coming. Thank you for keeping up with my story. STill gonna keep writing doe. I had writer's block, haha... yea well. thanks!