AN: This part could get kind of violent and angsty. You've been warned!
P.S.: goodness.. I've never been threatened with Pocky and Twizzlers before. o.o;; My corrolary on posting by parts is that I am halfway through the next part before I post the previous one. ^^
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- Hisoka -
Lady Sumeragi leads us to a room that is fairly hard to get to by a normal person's standards.. it's out of the way from absolutely everything. She stops in front of the door and looks back at us. I can sense worry, but also hope that perhaps one of us will have the power to pull her grandson out of his catatonic state. "Here is the room," she says. "Do what you need to do. You will find me again in the pavillion."
Slowly, I push the door open and walk into the room. It's dark, all the shades are drawn.. and there's an aura of despair so thick that I'm surprised the others can't pick up on it. All of it is radiating from the boy on the bed. I frown and walk to his bedside slowly. There's a chair next to the bed, and I perch in it, looking down at him. I turn back when the door closes behind me, with Watari and Tsuzuki in the room.
I draw a deep breath and look down at the onmiyouji. "I'm ready," I murmur. "I might need your help if I get caught, Tsuzuki."
"Wakatte," he says. His violet eyes are wide with concern. "Hisoka, are you sure..?"
"Yes." I touch the boy's forehead and frown slightly. His natural shields are very strong, but they've diminished in the time he's been unconcious. This will be a hard fight, but I'm sure it's nothing I can't manage. However, what I -haven't- told them is that I've never gone Within someone before. I decide to keep that bit of information to myself - otherwise, they won't even let me try. "Just.. make sure you pull me out if things get too messy."
Tsuzuki and Watari sit down next to me, and I turn my full attention to Sumeragi Subaru. I close my eyes and draw a deep breath, letting it out slowly. [First step.. relax. This may be easier if I bend over him.] I feel myself slipping into a trance and I slump forward, one hand still on the boy's forehead. My head rests on his shoulder. [Second step.. lower my own shields. This is gonna suck, I just know it.] Carefully, I lower my shields, layer by layer. With each layer of shielding that disappears, the feeling of despair increases, until I'm afraid it will overwhelm me. Something that's always scared me about my empathy is that it's very easy for me to be pulled into the emotions of other people.
[Third step.. full trance.] I take another calming breath, then release my conciousness, sinking into a full empathic trance. Kachou had taught me how to do this not too long ago, and while I haven't worked with it much, he says I'm a natural. [And, finally.. merge with him.] I gently touch Subaru's mind with my own, and I feel a jolt as we connect. I'm not in a trance so much anymore as I'm unconcious.
I find myself in a literal maelstrom. Wind and rain pound viciously at me, and I'm thrown backwards, landing on the ground hard. I grimace in pain and force myself up, lifting my arm to shield my face. It's -very- hard not to slam my shields back up, but if I do that, I'll be thrown out of the meld, and it could be bad for both of us. Slowly, I push forward, even with the wind pushing me back. I can only hope that my strength is enough to get me through this.
"Sumeragi-san!" I yell, struggling forward. The wind forces me to my knees, but I get back up. The rain is coming at me so hard that it puts little rips in my shirt, and cuts gashes into my skin. If I'd known he was this strong, I would have used Tsuzuki's power as an anchor. Hindsight, as they say, is always perfect.
The wind sweeps me off my feet again, and I find myself falling. "Sumeragi-san!" I cry again, hoping he'll hear me and come to his senses enough to let me into his mind without killing me first. The wind just gets stronger, whipping me down, until I just know I'm going to hit rock bottom and become a mental splatter.
Just as I know I'm going to die, the wind stops. My ears are ringing from the lack of noise. I'm set down gently in the darkness again, and now all that's happening is a gentle rain that falls on me. I look down at myself and cringe. My shirt may as well not be there anymore, and I have gashes all over my body. That's going to equal the grandfather of all headaches when I come out of this. I walk forward, looking around. There's not much to see.. a whole lot of dark.
An image shimmers into view in front of me.. a small boy, wearing flowing white robes. He's standing under a sakura tree. I repress a shudder and walk towards the vision, hoping it won't disappear when I get there. As I draw closer, I can see that he's crying as he looks up at the branches. I'm sure, after all this, his hatred of sakura equals my own.
"Sumeragi-san?" I ask quietly, kneeling down a few paces from him.
He turns around and stares at me with tear-filled green eyes. "Who.. who are you?" he asks, sniffling and lifting his arm to wipe his tears away.
I smile faintly. "Kurosaki Hisoka," I say. "I'm a Shinigami."
Surprise registers on his face. "Shinigami? Are you saying.. I'm dead?"
"No," I reply. "You aren't.. yet. You will be if you don't come out of this trance soon, but that's another matter. Sumeragi-san, I was sent by Enma-Cho Himself to help you." That may be a bit of an exaggeration, but I assume our cases have to come from -somewhere-.
Green eyes widen at that. "You're a messanger from God?" he asks, awed.
Uh, well.. "Not exactly," I reply, shaking my head slowly. "I'm a Shinigami. I help souls who are lost find their way home."
The boy turns and looks up at the sakura tree. "Have you seen my sister?" he whispers.
I shake my head. "That's why I'm here. I want to help the people trapped in the sakura tree in Ueno Park."
He clenches his fists and looks down, tears slowly trickling down his cheeks again. "Seishirou-san betrayed us," he whispers. He looks at me, wide-eyed with anguish. "He betrayed us! He killed Hokuto-chan!"
"I know," I murmur soothingly. "I know. Enma-Cho told me everything." Again, an exaggeration, but how else did Kachou know? "I'm here to help, if you'll let me," I continue.
Before my eyes, the child becomes a teenager, a reflection of the true Subaru. He puts his hand on the tree and closes his eyes. "I'm beyond help, Kurosaki-san." His voice is a quiet tenor, laced with agony. "Don't waste your time with me. If you want to help someone, help my sister."
"I can't," I say, standing up. I wince at the pain that causes me. "I need your help. I can't reach her because I don't know her."
He turns to look at me. "Were you an onmiyouji in life?"
I grimace a little. He'd -have- to ask me about my past, wouldn't he. "No. I was - am - an empath."
"You're younger than me," he muses. "Very young to be a Shinigami. How can I trust you?"
I have to admit, he has a point. However, in this plane, I may as well be mortal, because my wounds won't heal. They're mental wounds, not physical. With all the mental scarring I have, I'm surprised my spirit form isn't horribly deformed. "What can I do to make you trust me?" I counter.
He closes his eyes and looks away. "There's not much anyone can do for me. Forgive me, Kurosaki-san.. I can't help you."
"So you're giving up." I cross my arms and stare at him. "You're just going to let your sister and all those people stay in that Tree forever."
"I can't help," he repeats, his voice tight with anger. "I suggest you leave here now."
"You're a coward, then," I say, stepping forward. I'm keeping careful control over my emotions, but it's hard. Here, he has the upper hand. Anything I say or do wrong could kill me. Literally. "You could help them, you're just too afraid to come out of your shell. They need you!"
He turns to me, but rather than the fury I'd expected, there's only a vast sorrow that makes me want to cry for him. "Do you know what it's like?" he asks, his voice shaking. "Do you know what it's like to be betrayed by the one person you loved, loved with all your heart and soul? DO YOU?!" He clenches his fists and looks down, tears streaming down his face. "He said I didn't mean anything to him.. that he could break my arm and it wouldn't matter. And he did.. and he killed Hokuto-chan in my place."
I take a cautious step forward. "I haven't," I say quietly. "I don't know your pain.. but I -have- been betrayed. In life, my parents thought I was a monster. They locked me in a dungeon in our basement and left me there my entire life." He looks up at me, horror tinging his eyes. I step forward again, pressing my advantage. "When I fell ill, they dumped me in the hospital. They didn't bother to come visit me. I was -alone- the -whole time-. One night, I left my hospital room." I can feel the old pain welling up inside of me, but I take another step forward. "I saw a man kill a woman under a sakura tree."
He flinches at that, almost as if I'd seen the sakurazukamori kill his sister. "And.."
"And he killed me, too." I smile bitterly. "Under that sakura tree, he raped me and put a curse on me. It took me three agonizing years to die, Sumeragi-san. During that time, I was in so much pain, and nobody came to see me. Nobody helped me at all until I died." I step forward again, and now we're almost nose to nose. "I became a Shinigami to find out who killed me and to get revenge. But do you know something, Sumeragi-san? It did me no good at all. I was still just as bitter as I had been before I died."
He looks away, frowning slightly. "Why are you telling me this?"
I allow my tension to drain away, and I smile faintly. "Because you're like I was. Trapped Within yourself. I was concious, though, and able to perform my duties as a Shinigami. I was reckless, not caring what happened to me. It wasn't until I was able to push my anger aside that I realized that I became a Shinigami to -help- people.. to comfort them when things like what happened to me, happened to them."
"I'm hardly like you," he says, taking a step back and turning around. Great, all that work and emotional stress for nothing. After I get out of here, I am going to find a corner, curl up in it, and cry. "I think you've made your point. I'm stll not coming out."
I swear softly and grab him by the shoulder, spinning him around to face me. "Listen to me," I say harshly. "Think of how much you're hurting now. If you don't help us stop the sakurazukamori, others will hurt just as much as you do! It could happen again, don't you GET it?! I became a Shinigami to stop Muraki from doing this to someone else, and I almost.. I almost failed!" I grit my teeth. Tsubaki-hime.. forgive me. "But I -didn't-. I was able to -stop- him. Do you want Sakurazuka Seishirou to keep hurting people?! The people he kills have families! They cry when their loved ones are gone!"
He's shaking now, and he pulls out of my grasp. I don't expect the slap that sends me sprawling backwards, and I land on my rear end, stunned. "How dare you talk to me that way?!" he cries, tears streaming down his face. "How dare you use that against me?! How.. how dare you?.." He slumps to his knees and hides his face, sobbing.
Slowly, hesitantly, I crawl over to him and put a hand on his shoulder gently. "Because I need you," I murmur. "Because -they- need you."
"You don't even know me," he says brokenly. "You don't know me and you risked your life to come here. I'm not worth that.."
"Yes, you are," I say firmly. "You're worth it to me, and you're worth it to the people who -won't- die by the sakurazukamori's hands."
He looks at me, his eyes showing a hesitant, small bit of hope. "You.. you think I can.. help?"
I nod. "Yes. I know it." I hold my hand out to him, feeling my energy beginning to fade. "Sumeragi-san.. by all means, stay here if you think it'll make you feel better. Just.. think of the people who need you.."
As I'm about to fade away, he hesitantly puts his hand in mine. "All right," he whispers. "All right."
- Watari -
As soon as Hisoka started shaking and thrashing on the bed, it took both me and Tsuzuki to hold him down. "We have to stop him," I grind out, keeping him from hurting anyone. "This is going too far!"
"No," Tsuzuki replies. "Give him a few more minutes! Hisoka.. I know you can do it.. hang in there!"
Finally, his struggles cease, and he seems to fall back into the trance. Slowly, we back away and look at eachother. "Do you think.. he's succeeding?" I barely recognize my voice.
Tsuzuki nods slowly. "I think he is. Ah, look - he's waking up!"
Hisoka's eyes open slowly, and he struggles to push himself off of the onmiyouji. I help him up, and he leans back in the chair, his whole body limp. "I think.. I did it." He closes his eyes and passes out, absolutely exhausted.
"He's waking up," Tsuzuki breathes.
I turn my attention to the boy on the bed, whose eyelids are fluttering. Slowly, they lift, revealing eyes as green as Hisoka's. He blinks at the ceiling for a moment, then turns his head towards Hisoka. "Kurosaki-san.." he murmurs. "I.. came back."
Tsuzuki heaves a sigh of relief. "Yokatta," he says. "Watari, I'm going to take Hisoka to rest. Will you stay here with Subaru?"
I cringe a bit at Tsuzuki's familiarity, but the boy doesn't seem to notice. "Okay," I say. Tsuzuki gently lifts Hisoka out of the chair, and I sit down in it.
As soon as they're gone, the boy sighs quietly and closes his eyes again, then opens them and looks at the ceiling. "Who are you?" he finally asks quietly. "You seem.. familiar.."
"Yutaka Watari," I reply. "I'm not surprised. I was fostered by your grandmother before you were born, and she taught me a little bit of 'jitsu. I probably have the feel of a Sumeragi to my magic."
He nods slowly, turning his head to study me. "Yes.. you do. You feel almost like my sister." A faint smile touches his lips, then he frowns. "Kurosaki-san..?"
"Tsuzuki took him to rest." I smile reassuringly. "Daijobu yo, he'll be fine. He needs to sleep off the backlash, and he'll have a headache when he wakes up, but otherwise.."
"I see." He sighs and sits up slowly, arching his back to ward off stiffness. "He was.. very convincing."
I grin. "That's Hisoka for you," I say cheerfully. "If you won't listen to him, he'll beat you over the head with his point until you aknowledge it."
A grimace crosses the onmiyouji's face. "That is definately not far off-base." He looks over at me again. "Are you a Shinigami too?"
"Aa." I smile. "I died over twenty years ago, though. Before you were born. Tsuzuki and Hisoka are Shinigami, too, but Tsuzuki died in the Meiji era, and Hisoka.. well.." I bite my lip. "Just.. a little less than six months ago."
Subaru's eyes widen. "Hontou? That poor boy.. no wonder he was so torn up about his death." He bites his lip and looks down at the quilt. "I'll.. talk to him about it again. Maybe I can help put his spirit to rest."
"You're more than welcome to give it a shot," I reply. "However, until Muraki - that's the man who murdered him - is dead and gone, that probably won't happen."
He nods slowly. "I can understand that," he says quietly. He pushes the blankets aside and stands slowly. "Forgive me, Watari-san, but I need to gather my thoughts. I'll take a shower, and then go talk to my grandmother. Please tell me when Kurosaki-san wakes up."
"All right," I say. I turn to go, then pause and turn back. "Do you think you'll be all right?" I'd hate to come back and find that he'd slit his wrists or something.
He smiles faintly and nods. "Yes. Thank you."
I turn and leave, closing the door behind me, and then slowly walk towards the gardens out back. I used to go there after my mother died, to just sit and think, with nobody around to bother me. I wander down the paths until I find what I had termed 'my' bench, and I sit on it, leaning back to gaze up at the sky. At this point, I can't decide if Hisoka and Subaru will be enemies or friends. They have so much in common, but at the same time, they're very different.
Tsuzuki walks down the path and waves cheerfully. "Watari," he greets, sitting next to me. He sighs and fiddles with a flower he'd picked on the way. "Hisoka's sleeping. He seems all right, but he's gonna be really sick when he wakes up."
"Aa, I can imagine," I reply. "That boy must have incredible willpower.. and the strength to keep even Hisoka out."
"Yeah.. but he didn't." Tsuzuki looks at me with an unreadable expression. "What do you think that means? The fact that he let Hisoka in. Does he want to help us?"
"Saa," I reply, shrugging. "I think it's a good sign, though." I grin. "If he didn't want us to help, after all, he wouldn't be awake right now."
Tsuzuki nods. "True, true." He frowns, looking down at the flower. "Eventually, those two will meet up again.. Sumeragi Subaru and Sakurazuka Seishirou. I can't decide if I want to be around when that happens or if I want to run away screaming."
I grimace. "I know the feeling. Something tells me it'd be best if at least one of us was there.. preferrably you, but Hisoka would work as well. I'm just afraid that the blossom star will use Hisoka's memories against him. If his powers are anything as I remember the previous sakurazukamori's to be, he can use a 'maboroshi' - an illusion - and trap Hisoka inside himself." I bite my lip. "All Hisoka has to do is give him an opening.. shiver when he sees sakura, or mention offhand that he hates it.. and the blossom star will want to know why.. and as soon as he finds out.."
"Catastrophe," Tsuzuki finishes. He drops the flower and leans back on the bench, frowning at the sky. "Hisoka will lash out with all his empathic powers, projecting to everyone within a ten mile radius."
"Right." I bite my lip and study the sleeves of my sweater. "We have to keep the sakurazukamori away from Hisoka at -all costs-."
Tsuzuki nods. "Watari.. what do you think's going to happen?"
I blink. "Well, the way I see it, this could end in one of several ways.. one, Sumeragi-san and Hisoka get along perfectly and the case goes off without a hitch. Two, Sumeragi-san and Hisoka get along relatively well, but the sakurazukamori interferes with their friendship and bad things happen. Three, Sumeragi-san and Hisoka hate eachother and the sakurazukamori takes full advantage of that."
"Gods." He grimaces. "Well, I'm hoping for number one, but with our luck, we'll wind up with number three."
"No," I say thoughtfully. "Somehow, I don't think so. I think Hisoka and Sumeragi-san will get along just fine." I think back to the way the onmiyouji had immediately asked about Hisoka, and what he'd said when he'd first woken up.
"I hope you're right, Watari," Tsuzuki mumbles. "I -really- hope you're right."
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I'm still not sure where the relationship between Hisoka and Subaru is going, but it's definately going somewhere! ^^ Give me ideas!
P.S.: goodness.. I've never been threatened with Pocky and Twizzlers before. o.o;; My corrolary on posting by parts is that I am halfway through the next part before I post the previous one. ^^
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- Hisoka -
Lady Sumeragi leads us to a room that is fairly hard to get to by a normal person's standards.. it's out of the way from absolutely everything. She stops in front of the door and looks back at us. I can sense worry, but also hope that perhaps one of us will have the power to pull her grandson out of his catatonic state. "Here is the room," she says. "Do what you need to do. You will find me again in the pavillion."
Slowly, I push the door open and walk into the room. It's dark, all the shades are drawn.. and there's an aura of despair so thick that I'm surprised the others can't pick up on it. All of it is radiating from the boy on the bed. I frown and walk to his bedside slowly. There's a chair next to the bed, and I perch in it, looking down at him. I turn back when the door closes behind me, with Watari and Tsuzuki in the room.
I draw a deep breath and look down at the onmiyouji. "I'm ready," I murmur. "I might need your help if I get caught, Tsuzuki."
"Wakatte," he says. His violet eyes are wide with concern. "Hisoka, are you sure..?"
"Yes." I touch the boy's forehead and frown slightly. His natural shields are very strong, but they've diminished in the time he's been unconcious. This will be a hard fight, but I'm sure it's nothing I can't manage. However, what I -haven't- told them is that I've never gone Within someone before. I decide to keep that bit of information to myself - otherwise, they won't even let me try. "Just.. make sure you pull me out if things get too messy."
Tsuzuki and Watari sit down next to me, and I turn my full attention to Sumeragi Subaru. I close my eyes and draw a deep breath, letting it out slowly. [First step.. relax. This may be easier if I bend over him.] I feel myself slipping into a trance and I slump forward, one hand still on the boy's forehead. My head rests on his shoulder. [Second step.. lower my own shields. This is gonna suck, I just know it.] Carefully, I lower my shields, layer by layer. With each layer of shielding that disappears, the feeling of despair increases, until I'm afraid it will overwhelm me. Something that's always scared me about my empathy is that it's very easy for me to be pulled into the emotions of other people.
[Third step.. full trance.] I take another calming breath, then release my conciousness, sinking into a full empathic trance. Kachou had taught me how to do this not too long ago, and while I haven't worked with it much, he says I'm a natural. [And, finally.. merge with him.] I gently touch Subaru's mind with my own, and I feel a jolt as we connect. I'm not in a trance so much anymore as I'm unconcious.
I find myself in a literal maelstrom. Wind and rain pound viciously at me, and I'm thrown backwards, landing on the ground hard. I grimace in pain and force myself up, lifting my arm to shield my face. It's -very- hard not to slam my shields back up, but if I do that, I'll be thrown out of the meld, and it could be bad for both of us. Slowly, I push forward, even with the wind pushing me back. I can only hope that my strength is enough to get me through this.
"Sumeragi-san!" I yell, struggling forward. The wind forces me to my knees, but I get back up. The rain is coming at me so hard that it puts little rips in my shirt, and cuts gashes into my skin. If I'd known he was this strong, I would have used Tsuzuki's power as an anchor. Hindsight, as they say, is always perfect.
The wind sweeps me off my feet again, and I find myself falling. "Sumeragi-san!" I cry again, hoping he'll hear me and come to his senses enough to let me into his mind without killing me first. The wind just gets stronger, whipping me down, until I just know I'm going to hit rock bottom and become a mental splatter.
Just as I know I'm going to die, the wind stops. My ears are ringing from the lack of noise. I'm set down gently in the darkness again, and now all that's happening is a gentle rain that falls on me. I look down at myself and cringe. My shirt may as well not be there anymore, and I have gashes all over my body. That's going to equal the grandfather of all headaches when I come out of this. I walk forward, looking around. There's not much to see.. a whole lot of dark.
An image shimmers into view in front of me.. a small boy, wearing flowing white robes. He's standing under a sakura tree. I repress a shudder and walk towards the vision, hoping it won't disappear when I get there. As I draw closer, I can see that he's crying as he looks up at the branches. I'm sure, after all this, his hatred of sakura equals my own.
"Sumeragi-san?" I ask quietly, kneeling down a few paces from him.
He turns around and stares at me with tear-filled green eyes. "Who.. who are you?" he asks, sniffling and lifting his arm to wipe his tears away.
I smile faintly. "Kurosaki Hisoka," I say. "I'm a Shinigami."
Surprise registers on his face. "Shinigami? Are you saying.. I'm dead?"
"No," I reply. "You aren't.. yet. You will be if you don't come out of this trance soon, but that's another matter. Sumeragi-san, I was sent by Enma-Cho Himself to help you." That may be a bit of an exaggeration, but I assume our cases have to come from -somewhere-.
Green eyes widen at that. "You're a messanger from God?" he asks, awed.
Uh, well.. "Not exactly," I reply, shaking my head slowly. "I'm a Shinigami. I help souls who are lost find their way home."
The boy turns and looks up at the sakura tree. "Have you seen my sister?" he whispers.
I shake my head. "That's why I'm here. I want to help the people trapped in the sakura tree in Ueno Park."
He clenches his fists and looks down, tears slowly trickling down his cheeks again. "Seishirou-san betrayed us," he whispers. He looks at me, wide-eyed with anguish. "He betrayed us! He killed Hokuto-chan!"
"I know," I murmur soothingly. "I know. Enma-Cho told me everything." Again, an exaggeration, but how else did Kachou know? "I'm here to help, if you'll let me," I continue.
Before my eyes, the child becomes a teenager, a reflection of the true Subaru. He puts his hand on the tree and closes his eyes. "I'm beyond help, Kurosaki-san." His voice is a quiet tenor, laced with agony. "Don't waste your time with me. If you want to help someone, help my sister."
"I can't," I say, standing up. I wince at the pain that causes me. "I need your help. I can't reach her because I don't know her."
He turns to look at me. "Were you an onmiyouji in life?"
I grimace a little. He'd -have- to ask me about my past, wouldn't he. "No. I was - am - an empath."
"You're younger than me," he muses. "Very young to be a Shinigami. How can I trust you?"
I have to admit, he has a point. However, in this plane, I may as well be mortal, because my wounds won't heal. They're mental wounds, not physical. With all the mental scarring I have, I'm surprised my spirit form isn't horribly deformed. "What can I do to make you trust me?" I counter.
He closes his eyes and looks away. "There's not much anyone can do for me. Forgive me, Kurosaki-san.. I can't help you."
"So you're giving up." I cross my arms and stare at him. "You're just going to let your sister and all those people stay in that Tree forever."
"I can't help," he repeats, his voice tight with anger. "I suggest you leave here now."
"You're a coward, then," I say, stepping forward. I'm keeping careful control over my emotions, but it's hard. Here, he has the upper hand. Anything I say or do wrong could kill me. Literally. "You could help them, you're just too afraid to come out of your shell. They need you!"
He turns to me, but rather than the fury I'd expected, there's only a vast sorrow that makes me want to cry for him. "Do you know what it's like?" he asks, his voice shaking. "Do you know what it's like to be betrayed by the one person you loved, loved with all your heart and soul? DO YOU?!" He clenches his fists and looks down, tears streaming down his face. "He said I didn't mean anything to him.. that he could break my arm and it wouldn't matter. And he did.. and he killed Hokuto-chan in my place."
I take a cautious step forward. "I haven't," I say quietly. "I don't know your pain.. but I -have- been betrayed. In life, my parents thought I was a monster. They locked me in a dungeon in our basement and left me there my entire life." He looks up at me, horror tinging his eyes. I step forward again, pressing my advantage. "When I fell ill, they dumped me in the hospital. They didn't bother to come visit me. I was -alone- the -whole time-. One night, I left my hospital room." I can feel the old pain welling up inside of me, but I take another step forward. "I saw a man kill a woman under a sakura tree."
He flinches at that, almost as if I'd seen the sakurazukamori kill his sister. "And.."
"And he killed me, too." I smile bitterly. "Under that sakura tree, he raped me and put a curse on me. It took me three agonizing years to die, Sumeragi-san. During that time, I was in so much pain, and nobody came to see me. Nobody helped me at all until I died." I step forward again, and now we're almost nose to nose. "I became a Shinigami to find out who killed me and to get revenge. But do you know something, Sumeragi-san? It did me no good at all. I was still just as bitter as I had been before I died."
He looks away, frowning slightly. "Why are you telling me this?"
I allow my tension to drain away, and I smile faintly. "Because you're like I was. Trapped Within yourself. I was concious, though, and able to perform my duties as a Shinigami. I was reckless, not caring what happened to me. It wasn't until I was able to push my anger aside that I realized that I became a Shinigami to -help- people.. to comfort them when things like what happened to me, happened to them."
"I'm hardly like you," he says, taking a step back and turning around. Great, all that work and emotional stress for nothing. After I get out of here, I am going to find a corner, curl up in it, and cry. "I think you've made your point. I'm stll not coming out."
I swear softly and grab him by the shoulder, spinning him around to face me. "Listen to me," I say harshly. "Think of how much you're hurting now. If you don't help us stop the sakurazukamori, others will hurt just as much as you do! It could happen again, don't you GET it?! I became a Shinigami to stop Muraki from doing this to someone else, and I almost.. I almost failed!" I grit my teeth. Tsubaki-hime.. forgive me. "But I -didn't-. I was able to -stop- him. Do you want Sakurazuka Seishirou to keep hurting people?! The people he kills have families! They cry when their loved ones are gone!"
He's shaking now, and he pulls out of my grasp. I don't expect the slap that sends me sprawling backwards, and I land on my rear end, stunned. "How dare you talk to me that way?!" he cries, tears streaming down his face. "How dare you use that against me?! How.. how dare you?.." He slumps to his knees and hides his face, sobbing.
Slowly, hesitantly, I crawl over to him and put a hand on his shoulder gently. "Because I need you," I murmur. "Because -they- need you."
"You don't even know me," he says brokenly. "You don't know me and you risked your life to come here. I'm not worth that.."
"Yes, you are," I say firmly. "You're worth it to me, and you're worth it to the people who -won't- die by the sakurazukamori's hands."
He looks at me, his eyes showing a hesitant, small bit of hope. "You.. you think I can.. help?"
I nod. "Yes. I know it." I hold my hand out to him, feeling my energy beginning to fade. "Sumeragi-san.. by all means, stay here if you think it'll make you feel better. Just.. think of the people who need you.."
As I'm about to fade away, he hesitantly puts his hand in mine. "All right," he whispers. "All right."
- Watari -
As soon as Hisoka started shaking and thrashing on the bed, it took both me and Tsuzuki to hold him down. "We have to stop him," I grind out, keeping him from hurting anyone. "This is going too far!"
"No," Tsuzuki replies. "Give him a few more minutes! Hisoka.. I know you can do it.. hang in there!"
Finally, his struggles cease, and he seems to fall back into the trance. Slowly, we back away and look at eachother. "Do you think.. he's succeeding?" I barely recognize my voice.
Tsuzuki nods slowly. "I think he is. Ah, look - he's waking up!"
Hisoka's eyes open slowly, and he struggles to push himself off of the onmiyouji. I help him up, and he leans back in the chair, his whole body limp. "I think.. I did it." He closes his eyes and passes out, absolutely exhausted.
"He's waking up," Tsuzuki breathes.
I turn my attention to the boy on the bed, whose eyelids are fluttering. Slowly, they lift, revealing eyes as green as Hisoka's. He blinks at the ceiling for a moment, then turns his head towards Hisoka. "Kurosaki-san.." he murmurs. "I.. came back."
Tsuzuki heaves a sigh of relief. "Yokatta," he says. "Watari, I'm going to take Hisoka to rest. Will you stay here with Subaru?"
I cringe a bit at Tsuzuki's familiarity, but the boy doesn't seem to notice. "Okay," I say. Tsuzuki gently lifts Hisoka out of the chair, and I sit down in it.
As soon as they're gone, the boy sighs quietly and closes his eyes again, then opens them and looks at the ceiling. "Who are you?" he finally asks quietly. "You seem.. familiar.."
"Yutaka Watari," I reply. "I'm not surprised. I was fostered by your grandmother before you were born, and she taught me a little bit of 'jitsu. I probably have the feel of a Sumeragi to my magic."
He nods slowly, turning his head to study me. "Yes.. you do. You feel almost like my sister." A faint smile touches his lips, then he frowns. "Kurosaki-san..?"
"Tsuzuki took him to rest." I smile reassuringly. "Daijobu yo, he'll be fine. He needs to sleep off the backlash, and he'll have a headache when he wakes up, but otherwise.."
"I see." He sighs and sits up slowly, arching his back to ward off stiffness. "He was.. very convincing."
I grin. "That's Hisoka for you," I say cheerfully. "If you won't listen to him, he'll beat you over the head with his point until you aknowledge it."
A grimace crosses the onmiyouji's face. "That is definately not far off-base." He looks over at me again. "Are you a Shinigami too?"
"Aa." I smile. "I died over twenty years ago, though. Before you were born. Tsuzuki and Hisoka are Shinigami, too, but Tsuzuki died in the Meiji era, and Hisoka.. well.." I bite my lip. "Just.. a little less than six months ago."
Subaru's eyes widen. "Hontou? That poor boy.. no wonder he was so torn up about his death." He bites his lip and looks down at the quilt. "I'll.. talk to him about it again. Maybe I can help put his spirit to rest."
"You're more than welcome to give it a shot," I reply. "However, until Muraki - that's the man who murdered him - is dead and gone, that probably won't happen."
He nods slowly. "I can understand that," he says quietly. He pushes the blankets aside and stands slowly. "Forgive me, Watari-san, but I need to gather my thoughts. I'll take a shower, and then go talk to my grandmother. Please tell me when Kurosaki-san wakes up."
"All right," I say. I turn to go, then pause and turn back. "Do you think you'll be all right?" I'd hate to come back and find that he'd slit his wrists or something.
He smiles faintly and nods. "Yes. Thank you."
I turn and leave, closing the door behind me, and then slowly walk towards the gardens out back. I used to go there after my mother died, to just sit and think, with nobody around to bother me. I wander down the paths until I find what I had termed 'my' bench, and I sit on it, leaning back to gaze up at the sky. At this point, I can't decide if Hisoka and Subaru will be enemies or friends. They have so much in common, but at the same time, they're very different.
Tsuzuki walks down the path and waves cheerfully. "Watari," he greets, sitting next to me. He sighs and fiddles with a flower he'd picked on the way. "Hisoka's sleeping. He seems all right, but he's gonna be really sick when he wakes up."
"Aa, I can imagine," I reply. "That boy must have incredible willpower.. and the strength to keep even Hisoka out."
"Yeah.. but he didn't." Tsuzuki looks at me with an unreadable expression. "What do you think that means? The fact that he let Hisoka in. Does he want to help us?"
"Saa," I reply, shrugging. "I think it's a good sign, though." I grin. "If he didn't want us to help, after all, he wouldn't be awake right now."
Tsuzuki nods. "True, true." He frowns, looking down at the flower. "Eventually, those two will meet up again.. Sumeragi Subaru and Sakurazuka Seishirou. I can't decide if I want to be around when that happens or if I want to run away screaming."
I grimace. "I know the feeling. Something tells me it'd be best if at least one of us was there.. preferrably you, but Hisoka would work as well. I'm just afraid that the blossom star will use Hisoka's memories against him. If his powers are anything as I remember the previous sakurazukamori's to be, he can use a 'maboroshi' - an illusion - and trap Hisoka inside himself." I bite my lip. "All Hisoka has to do is give him an opening.. shiver when he sees sakura, or mention offhand that he hates it.. and the blossom star will want to know why.. and as soon as he finds out.."
"Catastrophe," Tsuzuki finishes. He drops the flower and leans back on the bench, frowning at the sky. "Hisoka will lash out with all his empathic powers, projecting to everyone within a ten mile radius."
"Right." I bite my lip and study the sleeves of my sweater. "We have to keep the sakurazukamori away from Hisoka at -all costs-."
Tsuzuki nods. "Watari.. what do you think's going to happen?"
I blink. "Well, the way I see it, this could end in one of several ways.. one, Sumeragi-san and Hisoka get along perfectly and the case goes off without a hitch. Two, Sumeragi-san and Hisoka get along relatively well, but the sakurazukamori interferes with their friendship and bad things happen. Three, Sumeragi-san and Hisoka hate eachother and the sakurazukamori takes full advantage of that."
"Gods." He grimaces. "Well, I'm hoping for number one, but with our luck, we'll wind up with number three."
"No," I say thoughtfully. "Somehow, I don't think so. I think Hisoka and Sumeragi-san will get along just fine." I think back to the way the onmiyouji had immediately asked about Hisoka, and what he'd said when he'd first woken up.
"I hope you're right, Watari," Tsuzuki mumbles. "I -really- hope you're right."
************
I'm still not sure where the relationship between Hisoka and Subaru is going, but it's definately going somewhere! ^^ Give me ideas!