If I Were Your Fallen Angel
I wanna be the one that you are thinking of, The one that brightens your day.
And, when you feel the need to love, Let me be the one you're thinkin' of.
Spike's eyes slowly opened as he noticed the bright glowing light shine down at him. He felt a cold feeling swept over his body, as he tried hard to focus. Why had he not remember anything? Why was the room so cold? Am I dead? He kept questioning himself, as his eyes came into view, and he then realized that it was only the ceiling that he was staring at. He took in a breath, confused as to what exactly happened. His body laid numb, as he laid there, silently thinking. He didn't recall anything much, except for the fact, that he stepped onto the starship and took off from there with Faye. Faye...the name played a role in his mind. He pondered to himself, if he had died out on her again.
Spike's eyes slowly closed for the second time, as he took in a deep breath. He had so many thoughts enter his mind, but Faye's name overcame all of that. He suddenly felt a warm touch upon his arm, as he stayed still. She studied the man's face, as he laid there, without a fault movement. Her slender fingers slowly brushed against his cheek, as the train of thought never escaped her mind. She kept telling herself, that everything was going to be okay. That he wouldn't die out on her for the second time. But for a woman like she, there was so little hope.
"I'm sorry...," her voice uttered, nearly a hoarse whisper, "I'm sorry, for being so weak..." The woman's voice slowly trailed off, as Spike felt a warm drop upon his hand, that Faye gently pressed upon her cheek. She didn't know what she could have said to him, if he were to ever wake up. Wake up from that dream, maybe this time he'd see her in his eyes. Those eyes that sought the present and the past. The woman quickly wiped her tear stained eyes, as Jet's voice came from by the doorway.
"You okay?" the man uttered, his arms crossed his chest. Faye turned back, with a false smile upon her face, as she slowly stood up. Jet gently placed a hand upon her shoulder, as they both stared at the steady figure upon the bed.
"It's gonna be all right, Faye," he uttered, reassuringly, "Spike will pull through. He can't suffer a couple bullet wounds. He's had worse." The statement caused the young man to smile within himself. So Jet was right, he knew too well, perhaps.
She took in a deep breath, as she slowly headed for the doorway, "I hope you're right Jet..." The bald man paused, as he stared at his friend upon the bed. He wasn't so sure, if that was the right thing to tell her. What if everything turned out to be lies? There was a slight pause, as he let out a deep breath.
"I hope so too, Faye..."
Faye's eyes stopped short, as she stared blankly at the tumbling washer, her emerald gaze pierced. She didn't know what to think or do at the time, so she found something that would keep her busy. She quickly snapped out of the deep trance, as she slowly dug through the pile of uncleanness clothes.
Her eyes studied the dark navy fabric, that was rightfully Spike's. Faye slowly dug into the pocket, making sure everything was clean before she placed it into the washer. Her hands slowly pulled out a pack of cigarette and rested in the palm of her hand. Faye smiled, slightly, as she opened up the pack and noticed only two had been left.
She simply placed it into her pocket, as she tossed everything into the machine, and slowly walked out into the rec. room. Ein stared up at the woman, as she simply looked down at him. Faye let out a sigh, as her eyes turned away, she wasn't in the mood to torture the dog this time around. Perhaps, she wasn't in the mood for anything, for that fact. It was oddly quiet, without Spike's voice arguing with her, that she found it lonely, even if he was in the other room, dead asleep.
"Faye-Faye," Ed's voice sounded out, as she walked towards the young woman, and stood beside the couch, with a weird expression upon her face, "Is Spike-Spike okay?" Faye paused, as she smiled up at the young girl, and nodding.
"He'll be okay," she replied, reluctantly, "It'll just take awhile, that's all."
Ed jumped up, happily, exclaiming, "Then we be one big family!" The girl's statement caused Faye's smile to fade from her crimson lips. Yeah, she thought, one big happy family...minus Faye...or even Spike. There was an odd silence that fell over the two, when Jet's voice sounded out from Spike's room.
"Give me a break, you big klutz! You're lucky you got away with this little scratch. . . since we don't have the money for a funeral," he exclaimed, as he stared down at the young man.
"Sorry," Spike uttered, simply when he noticed the young woman who stood by the door, her hands pressed against the brim of the doorway. Jet paused, when he slowly turned to where his attention was set.
"Oh, Faye," he uttered, "Well, hey I'll just leave you two alone. I've got some things to do, anyway. Fixing the starships, ya know." With that, the man quickly made way out of the room, causing the silence to come yet again. Faye slowly walked in, as her arms crossed her chest. She wanted so much to say, the things she pleaded to say. But a part of her kicked herself, so she wouldn't. As if, Spike would bother to care as much.
The man's eyes roamed the woman's figure, as the outfit she wore, suited her more than anything. He didn't quite understand her needs into wearing something that covered even an inch of her body. Faye was dressed in a short white skirt, along with a white jacket over a tight tank-top. Spike shrugged it off simply, at least it was a start. The woman's white boots clattered against the hard floor, as she stepped a couple more steps towards the young man.
Faye thought, solemnly. "Feel better?" she questioned, sounding a bit more careless than she had meant to.
Spike raised an eyebrow, "Been better." There was that silence again, as Faye took a deep breath and walked over towards the table and sat down. She wanted to ask him so many things, run to him, have him take her in willingly. She wanted to know if he was okay? If he'd stop thinking so much? If he'd love her...Faye nagged herself yet again, for feeling the need to do all that.
She didn't want to say anything, and she kept telling herself, that she'd find time, somehow, someday. That's when she would tell him, when she'd be able to care less of what he had to say, when her feelings would finally fade away for the man, she knew it was hard.
"You still think about her?" Faye questioned, wanting to kill herself for that statement. There, she did it again. She told herself one thing, and simply did the other. Just when everything was going to be okay, her big mouth just had to open up and say everything as they please.
"I don't know, Faye," Spike's voice responded, utterly, "It's been awhile. I never actually talk to anyone about it, so they wouldn't be able to know if I did or if I didn't." There was a pause in the man's voice, as his gaze fell upon her own, "Long ago, I wasn't afraid of anything. I didn't think about dying for a second. I thought I was invincible. Then I met some girl. I wanted to live. I started to think like that. For the first time, I was afraid of death. I'd never felt it before."
Faye stared at the man, for once, realizing how open he was with her, and she admired that. He would have never mentioned such things to a woman like she, he never bothered to care as much.
"You wanted to live because she was living," Faye uttered, softly, her eyes burned with tears, that never came out.
"Maybe..," Spike replied, his voice trailing off. There was a pause, as the woman stared down at him, so many things she wanted to say.
"About Alonia....," she uttered, feeling pity upon herself.
Spike let out a breath, his eyes suddenly fell upon her, "I know...I should have apologized to you sooner...sorry." Faye stared back at the man, a smile slowly falling upon her face. He couldn't tell whether she was happy or sad.
"I'm sorry," Faye muttered, suddenly turning to aside, as she wiped her eyes quickly, "It just all becomes too much. If things didn't turn out the way they did..." There was a pause, as her eyes fell upon the man's.
"Then what?" Spike questioned, wanting to know exactly what it was that she had been wanting to say to him. Even though, he knew well how it would come out. He wouldn't have had anything to say back to her, he definitely wasn't one for words. And Spike had assured everyone that from the start.
Faye urged a false smile. She simply brought out his pack of cigarettes, taking one out, and tossed the rest to him. Spike caught it willingly into his hands, as he flashed her a bit of a smile.
She quickly brought out a match, lighting it, and gently took a drag, "Thought you might need it." Spike took in a deep breath, as he reached out for the woman to light his own cigarette for him.
"Faye knows, doesn't she?" he uttered. The woman smirked, a bit exasperated by his sudden comment to mock her.
"Right," she replied, sarcastically. The woman's emerald gaze slowly turned around behind her, as she heard a loud piece of metal fall to the ground. Must be Jet, she thought, solemnly, as his voice followed her idea soon after.
"They ruined two ships in one day...you give them an inch, and they step all over you," the man remarked, quite loudly enough for his voice to echo pass the broad corridors. Spike let out a laugh, as he placed the cigarette onto an ash tray, leaning his back against the headboard.
"Lucky didn't get myself killed, this time around," he joked. Faye's' eyes fixed upon the man, quite concerned and annoyed.
"Funny," she remarked, reluctantly.
He slowly sat up, as he gazed over to Faye's asleep body sitting on the desk chair, her head placed upon the table. He paused, as he pondered back to how long he had sat awake, staring at the woman, as though he guarded her, as she did him. His eyes fell upon her lockes of dark hair, as it laid around her peaceful face.
The woman's head slowly turned the opposite way, as her eyes opened slowly, avoiding the beam of the ceiling light. She hadn't bothered to turn back to check if Spike was awake, she knew well he probably wasn't. How long had she been sitting there, boring herself to death with a game of solitaire. Faye took in a deep breath, as she pressed her cheek gently upon the cold table, her thoughts drifting off for the millionth time that day. She slowly began to hum something to herself, as her voice trailed slowly around the room.
Spike hesitated abruptly realizing that the woman had awaken. He smiled, "You're singing off key," the man uttered, a most vivid remark. Faye quickly sat up, her gaze fell upon him, startled.
"You were awake?" she questioned, surprised.
Spike smiled, slowly pulling the sheets to his leg, "Been. And how long have you been here?"
Faye rolled her eyes, her hands upon the desktop, "Why are you askin' the questions?" The green-haired man simply shrugged, that same look upon his face. Faye remembered as to how much she hated that look he often gave her in the past, and yet, here she was enjoying it. She slowly stood up, as she realized his gaze fixed upon the cards scattered neatly upon the table.
"Down for a game of poker?" the man questioned, most unlikely. Faye hesitated, as her eyes turned back to him. She then slowly stack up the cards and placed it onto the white sheets of his bed.
"Never lucked out," Faye replied, a smile upon her face.
Spike's eyes stared up at her own, "Without cheating?"
"Since when, was Jet ever this nice to me?" Faye questioned smiling, as she took a seat near the counter, followed soon after by Jet and Spike. Jet had somehow offered to treat them to a night out on the town, which came quite peculiar. The room rumbled on with people trying to talk over one another and the soothing music. Faye's emerald eyes scurried about the room, wondering why she had never been able to find a place like this, or perhaps, she was just never wanted there.
The place was dark, and for Faye to admit, quite relaxing. Her eyes quickly turned back, as she glanced over to Jet, who sat one seat away from her, and Spike beside her.
"Damn, blues harp music is good. It's just as good as I thought," the bald man commented, taking a quick drink, as he gazed down at the bottle of wine he held in his grasp.
Spike smirked, lighting a cigarette, as he glanced over towards the stage, "I thought you were a fan of JAZZ music?"
Jet paused, as he answered, reluctantly, "Don't be stupid. I even warbled while I was sucking on my mother's milk." Spike shook his head, as he turned his gaze back onto his balding friend.
His voice came out simple, as he replied seriously, "You were a pretty thoughtful kid." Faye let out a laughter, as she reached for a shot glass and took it into her slender fingers.
"Really...men," she uttered, shaking her head in disapproval.
Spike's eyes turned to the woman beside him, a bit of a gleam in expression, "Go ahead, finish."
She cocked her head at him, confused, "Finish what?"
"That we're idiots and a bunch of hopeless romantics," Jet called out, ordering another drink at the table. Faye raised her brow, as she took another shot out of the glass.
She shrugged, "You are." Spike smiled, retorting her, as he brought the bottle of beer that sat in front of him to his thin lips. He paused, as he gazed at her slightly, from the corner of his eyes.
"Shouldn't take anything down in one shot," he instructed, gazing down at the glass she held in her hand. Faye took in a deep breath, simply brushing it off.
The woman gazed down at the man before her, as she simply stared at him. Spike carefully cracked the egg, as he held it solemnly, his eyes bloodshot almost, as he tried hard to figure out where the glass cup was in front of him. Faye smiled, her hands resting beneath her chin. She slowly brought the glass to him, as he dropped the egg into it, along with the whole shell.
"Good one," Faye uttered, grabbing the cup from the man, as she carefully dug out the shells, and placed them onto the counter. She slid the glass back to Spike, as he placed some salt and pepper into it. A smirky weak smile upon his face, as he brought it up, as though giving toast.
"Piyoko," the man uttered, "it's good for hangovers." Faye gave him a disgusted look, as she watched the man hold his nose and took the whole slimy yellow egg down.
"That's disgusting," she remarked, returning back to her posture, as the sound of slow jazz came about. Her eyes scurried around the room, wondering where Jet had bounced off to this time around. He had said he needed a bathroom break, but most likely, she would have expected him carrying out something else, besides the toilet. The woman let out a sigh, when her gaze turned back to Spike.
"Damn," he uttered, his hands upon the counter, "That was a good one."
Faye hesitated, studying the man's handsome features, "I thought you said I shouldn't take it down with one shot? You shouldn't use your words against yourself."
"Keep that for later, Faye," Spike muttered, rubbing his eyes. He slowly sat up straight, pressing his hands upon his bullet wound upon his waist. It still kept coming, that same continuos pain that caused him to want to break down.
"You okay?" Faye questioned, showing a bit of a concern. He nodded his head, as he brought his hands back to where they were, acting as though it didn't seem to bother him anymore. Faye took in a deep breath, "It eventually heals in time."
"Yeah," Spike uttered, his gaze avoiding hers, "Only physical wounds heal in time." It left her to wonder what the man had meant, what he wanted to mock her about this time. Why couldn't he just be straight forward with her? Faye really didn't believe it could have been that hard, yet she did it herself. She never brought out the fact of how she really felt towards him. How she longed to be able to at least be loved by the man for some odd reason.
"What's wrong?" Spike questioned, interrupting her thoughts. Faye's eyes quickly turned to him, surprised.
"Oh," she uttered, reluctantly, thinking of a good excuse, "Guess the shots got to me." How she wished it was the shots that got to her. But Faye was so annoyed by the fact, that it far surpassed that. It fell into a certain place, too fast, too deep. That it would be impossible for her to drag herself out of that position. The position that she longed so much to be able to be apart of....the position of being the claimer of his heart....
And there's nobody else, that can make me feel the way you do,
Forever, I'll always be true.
So, when you feel the need to love, Let me be the one you're thinkin' of.
Cuz, I will make it so right.
Humm...well wat do you think? I will be continuing soon, don't' worry. But in the mean time, it will take awhile, but please keep up with this story! Thank you!