O-Nigiri Lady
A DBZ fanfic by LadyRivka
Chapter 3: Fun and Games
A/N: There will be many a Japanese cultural reference, shoved in as author's notes throughout. –Rivka
Their stomachs sated with rice balls, Kibito and Nishi waltzed back into the palace, the goddess holding Shin-kun protectively while the infant giggled.
"Madam, I was wondering, what do you people do for entertainment around here?" Kibito looked around for even a sign of an interesting book to read; books had been his only friends up to this point.
"Well, North fishes, South likes to…umm…play war games…"
"War games?"
"Yes, games of strategy. He has this card game he invented. It's a lot of fun to play, but he always tries to hit on me whenever we're playing it. He also likes normal old card games…and then he hits on me then too, suggests we play strip poker or something. I usually tell him off and say we're just friends. We have been friends since we were kids in Kaiooshin training, but he doesn't really get the idea that a male and a female can be just friends…Kibito-san, are you paying attention?"
"Hai," the bodyguard sighed, even though he was lying to the crazy goddess.
"So, as I was saying, the Dai just likes to sit around and eat stuff…it's the only thing he can do, since he's in charge of everything…and East, well, East is kind of creepy. I try not to go near him, he has a huuuuge attitude problem. Maybe because he's old and staring to go senile." She picked up Shin-kun and brought him to eye-level. "My boy's gonna take the place of that mean old East Kaiooshin, isn't he? Isn't he? Yes he is, YES HE IS!!! 'Cause my boy's the best little boy in the Universe…and he's soo cute too! Come to Mama, my little cutie-patootie." She jiggled the baby around calculatedly as she repeated "cutie-patootie" to him, and the Kaiooshin infant started to laugh.
"Madam, I hate to interrupt your mother-child bonding, but what do YOU do for entertainment?"
Nishi turned around abruptly, placing her son in her lap. "You-you really want to know?"
"Of course." Kibito flushed slightly.
"Well, for one thing, I make rice balls, you know that. Minami loves those things…I could make him run anywhere I wanted if I had a five-foot rice ball in hand. But we were young and stupid, at least I was…I think Minami's a tad slow to grow out of the 'stupid' bit. Still follows me with the rice balls…" Nishi sighed. "Great, now I'm getting nostalgic for him. The last thing I wanted."
"Madam, would you cease your rambling?" Kibito furrowed his brow.
"Oho, you take charge, eh? Now that's what I call a man!" she purred.
"Madam…I…I…" Kibito was still frozen to his spot in the room, cheeks more crimson than usual.
"I knew you couldn't stand some fun!" Nishi giggled. "Now…what other things do I do for a hobby…Oh, yeah! The tanuki!"
"Tanuki?" (A/N: a tanuki is a mythological Japanese animal that's kind of a cross between a raccoon and a dog. Touching or rubbing the testicles of a male tanuki, or a statue representation thereof, is said to bring good luck.)
"I breed them. There's a whole planet of 'em out in my quadrant. The males are good-luck charms, get quite a bit of money for them. You'd be surprised how many people want to rub their testicles…"
"WHAT??" Kibito was absolutely shocked that a woman would be so brazen as to name parts of the male anatomy, especially if said woman happened to be a goddess.
"Geez, I just said "testicles". What's the big deal?"
"Madam, I am extremely shocked that a woman of your caliber would be so forthright and un-ladylike." Kibito crossed his arms and turned around.
"Hey, I'm a Kaiooshin, a goddess. I can do basically whatever I want. Here, hold Shin-kun for me. I gotta go someplace." With that, she "kai-kai"ed to the tanuki planet.
The infant looked Kibito in the eye. He reached out a tiny hand and said, "'Bito-sa' da's'ki!" (A/N: baby-talk for "Kibito-san-ga daisuki desu" [ I love Kibito])
Kibito smiled. This was one charming little baby.
Nishi returned as quickly as she had left, but this time, in her arms she carried a part-raccoon, part-dog creature with large, dangling testicles.
"You want to get some good luck, Kibito?"
"Umm…I don't think I'm up to that. Let the tanuki go and I will give you Shin-kun back."
"All right! Run, tanuki-kun! Spread the love!" Nishi let the animal go, and picked her baby up. "You know, I haven't seen North in a while, he actually last saw me before Shin-kun was born. Want to go see him?"
"Sure, why not?"
And so they waltzed down the hall to the North Kaiooshin's quarters, but he wasn't there. A sign on his door said "GONE FISHIN'".
"Okay, I know his usual fishing hole. Hold on!"
Kibito hesitantly grasped West's hand while she whispered, "Kai-Kai".
---
North Kaiooshin was quietly fishing when, all of a sudden, he felt three ki's behind him, which startled the older Kaiooshin a bit.
But then he recognized one of them…
"Hey, it's West! Haven't seen you in quite a while."
"Yeah, we should do that chess rematch sometime. I always put you in check, and then you find a way to weasel out of it." Nishi sighed.
"True, but now I'm trying to catch me some carp."
"Carp you say? Those things are hard to catch!"
'That's why I put the carp-banners up. Success. And I see we've got ourselves a little man who would also benefit from those banners…" Kita smiled at Shin-kun.
" I know." Nishi smiled. "Isn't he precious? I think he's going to make a great Kaiooshin someday."
"I can feel he will," replied North. Just then, a fish pulled on his line, and he tried desperately to reel it in, but to no avail.
"Sometimes I think fishing causes more stress than it alleviates," the old man sighed. "Nishi, why don't you sing for us? I always liked your voice."
"Thanks. Any requests?"
"How about that song I taught you? About the family of carp?" (A/N this is an actual Japanese folk song. The carp in Japan is a masculine symbol, and also one of courage, success, and strength.)
"Well…maybe Shin-kun and Kibito-san would like it." With that Nishi cleared her throat and began.
Yaneyori takai koi-no bori
Ookii magoi-wa otoosan
Chiisai higoi-wa kodomo-tachi
Omoshiro soo ni oyoi deru.
(A/N (Rough) Translation:
There are carp-streamers higher than our roof
The big carp is the father
All of the little ones are the children
It's so enjoyable, them being there.)
The song, in its stirring simplicity, got to Kibito, as did Nishi's stirring mezzo-soprano singing voice. That just had to be his siren song, the song that would make him strong enough to chase after her…
All the while, he was being knocked out of his thoughts by the baby's giggling. But he couldn't resist her. That voice. It was like his entire consciousness was being thrown for a loop, and now he realized that, for all of her flirtatiousness and brazen behavior, he actually liked her.
He was going to tell her that tonight…
END CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4- An end to this evil cliffhanger!