Hi, ya'll. *yawn* I'm reall sleepy - tons of English h/w and swimming...*yawn* So forgive me if this chapter isn't as good as you had hoped - I think it's pretty boring. Basically, it's Daine explaining her maddness. That's it.
Also, I made Cloud die. *wince* Yes, it's true. I just can't fit a grumpy pony into this story. Please, please don't complain - I'm so stressed that I'll just burst into tears *sniff sniff*
Happy reading!
:o)
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Part IV
Lessons


You never mentioned this, Alanna said once again, quietly. She and Numair were riding back to King Trystam's palace. It was dark; the sky was clear and the wind was cold. The two Tortallan's were tired from the day's excitement.
Numair considered his words carefully before replying. Alanna's soft voice implied that she was not happy about being kept in the dark. I wasn't sure, he said at last.
The knight snorted. What a load of tripe. You knew since the moment you set eyes on that girl! Turning serious, she asked, Why didn't you tell me?
sighed Numair.
The woman's voice was firm, backed by her voice.
Numair said the word grimly, then kicked his horse into a slow canter. Alanna mouthed the word, confused, then rushed to catch up with him.
she demanded. What spies? We're in Galla, Numair; they are one of the more peaceful and least advanced countries in the East! Moreover, they're allied to us! What spies?
Numair gave her one long, hard look; suddenly, the knight understood.
No, Numair. It's impossible, Alanna snorted again. It's improbable; it's unlikely that he's heard of the magical-mutation. How would he have heard of Daine, a simple prostitute? Numair, I really think you should get your facts straight.
You never know. The man's insane - oh, hi, Colonel, mind letting us in? They had reached the palace's gates; the burly soldier known as Colonel Cliff grunted and gave the all-clear' sign. A moment later, the gates opened. Silently, the Tortallans rode in. They left their horses with the hostlers, trudged back to their rooms, and fell asleep without another word to each other.

Wakey, wakey!
The whisper was very close to her ears. Daine winced, then opened her eyes slowly, blinking at the light.
Morning, child, greeted Damara, smiling widely. She was sitting on the edge of the room's overlarge beds. A tray of steaming pastries, fresh fruits, orange juice, and a steaming mug of some drink, lay next to her.
With a small groan, Daine pushed herself to a sitting position. What time is it?
Eleven in the morning, was the prompt - almost smug - reply.
Daine yelped. Why did you let me sleep in - I've chores!
Damara said quietly, her humor gone. Daine, listen to me. You're a full-fledged courtesan - a grown woman, no longer a child. You have no chores - unless you want them. Chores are for the trainees...and you are no longer a trainee.
Daine stared at the woman who had given her a home and love, lots of it, when she had thought herself doomed. She stared so long that Damara cracked up.
Gods, Daine, it's like you're not happy! Here - eat! She pushed the tray towards Daine, who accepted it and quickly began to polish off the food.
So who did you chose last night? Damara inquired. Daine swallowed down a piece of juicy orange (ummm...I'm addicted to oranges...*grin*), blushed, and mumbled something.
What? I can't hear you.
Jean Christianson, repeated the younger woman, her face a bright crimson.
He's good, murmured Damara. Very nice to the ladies. And?
And what? snapped Daine, sounding irritated.
How was he?
It's not like I have a basis for comparison, Mara! Daine said curtly. Then her expression softly. Wonderful. Just wonderful. In fact, I was wondering who was the customer...
Damara's eyes widened in alarm. Don't go falling in love with him, she warned. It happens to every woman - she thinks that the first man she sleeps with is the man she thinks she's destined to marry. Don't. I'm not saying you shouldn't have fond feelings for Jean - he's a great man - but don't go breaking your heart over him.
Sighing, Daine replied, I know, I know, rule number 5. Never fall in love.
See that you remember.
Yes ma'am.
Oh, shut up.
Yes ma'am.

They laughed.

Where is she? muttered Numair, drumming his fingers on his lap, his nerves a-fire with tension. From across the room, Alanna looked up from her book, snorted, and said something uncomprehensible.
I didn't quite catch what you said, Numair told her, voice sarcastic.
Didn't saying nothing, replied Alanna, her eyes wide with innocence.
Right. Where is she?
With a sigh, Alanna got up and approached the man, eyes twinkling with amusement. Numair, Daine's a commoner. I don't think the guards will let her in without some fuss.
If this was Tortall - began Numair impatienly; Alanna interrupted him with a shake of her head.
This isn't Tortall, bubo; don't forget that. Now -
Sorry I'm late! cried a different voice; the two Tortallans turned towards the door of their common room, where they saw Daine entering, cheeks flushed with anger.
It's alright. What held you?
Apparently, some of them guards up front have heard of me, snapped Daine. She pulled off the hood of her cloak, shook out her slightly frosted curls, then peeled off the cloak entirely, revealing a long skirt, heavy boots, and a thick sweater. She pulled off her gloves and scarf and deposited them on the table at the center of the room, then grinned at the stunned Alanna and Numair.
And it's snowing - traffic outside's worse than usual. So, shall we begin?
replied Alanna uncertainly. Well, I guess I should leave you to the master at this sort of thing - call me when you're done. Shaking her head, she entered her room and locked the door.
Is she always so brisk?
Numair flicked his eyes toward Daine. She looked rather abashed.
Daine shrugged. She doesn't seem to like me.
Numair laughed. She likes you very much. But she just met you - she always acts like that at first. You have to give her time.
Very well, the young woman sighed. Then she visibly brightened. I've been on my toes ever since you told me about my magic. Can we start now?
If you'd like -
I do.

The days passed quickly after the first lesson. Numair had no trouble getting Daine to communicate with animals with her mind - the young woman had confided that she had always thought' things and the animals had thought' back. She had also eaten up the books given to her. But getting Daine to meditate and do some spring cleaning' was an entirely different matter.
What do you have against meditation? Alanna demanded, after one small arguement. Looking ashamed, Daine fixed her eyes on her hands and shook her head.
Numair tells me that you can't progress with your magic if you don't meditate, continued the knight. He also tells me that you don't do it properly, on the rare occasions that you do do it. What's wrong?
began Daine. Her troubled blue eyes met Alanna's violet ones. I...what do you know about me?
The older woman frowned. You came here after your mother and grandfather were killed by bandits. You came to Cría, looking for a job, and got adopted' by Damara. After a while, you accepted a position as a trainee in the Silver Temple.
That's all true, Daine mumbled. But there's another side to the story.
Oh really?
Yes. I was alone for three days after I found my entire household slaughtered. I buried my ma and grandda and the animals. I was alone - no human came to help me. The companionship I had was my pony. Cloud. She paused, lips tight with the painful memories. When the three days were up, some villagers came to check on me. Three days! If my ma had been well, she'd be in the village, helping and healing! But them...no. When I saw them, I went mad. I attacked them, then ran off. I joined the local wolf pack; when they heard that humans had attacked my family, they swore to kill them bandits. They did - and I was with them. By then, I had totally forgotten that I was a human, not a four-legger. I went around naked, on all fours. Cloud was the one that kept me alive - see? She revealed a slightly scarred arm. One day, I decided that it had to stop - that was the day after Cloud had died from the extreme weather. I couldn't face the wilderness without my companion. So I left. I went to the remains of my house, grabbed whatever I found there, and went to Cría. That's when Damara found me. So, you see, I can't go deep in that meditation, I just can't. Because that maddness is there, waiting for me. And this time, Cloud won't be here to keep me in touch with my human-ess.
Thanks for finally telling us, Numair said; Daine and Alanna jumped. The tall mage was shutting the door softly, his face rueful. I'm sorry that I had to resort to this, but Daine kept on throwing fits every time I asked her about meditating.
Daine blushed. I'm sorry, she whispered. Badger told me that I should have listened to you, but I'm was stupid.
chorused the Tortallans.
The god of badgers, Daine replied seriously. He visits me in my dreams. After Cloud died, he showed up. He gave me his claw, see? She pulled out a delicate chain. Dangling from it was a large, solid silver claw.
Although he looked unbearably excited, Numair's voice was rather calm when he said, Daine, I can fix that fear you have.
You can? gasped Daine, her expression one of complete shock.
Yes. I've never seen someone organize their power as fast as you have. Now, you have two distinct parts - your human-self, and your magic. I can just create a barrier in your mind that will protect you from the magic - Daine, there never was any maddness.
What? But what about -
Daine, listen here. That was Alanna, her voice firm and gentle. I haven't found one seed of insanity in you. Not one. And trust me - I know insanity when I see it.
Daine looked at Numair for confirmation; he nodded.
It's true. Will you let me make you that barrier?
Hesitantly, the young woman nodded.
Numair sat across from her, reached over and placed his hands on her temples. Now, just like meditation...
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