You Do It All The Time
Hey, you do it all the time
Hey, you do it all
So take a breath, I know you're feeling jaded
Whoever said something that was perfect was easy? Jeff sighed as he started to write again. He lifted up his pen from the familiar paper and shook his head. It's a damn good thing I love her so much. He thought. Putting the pen back on the paper, he continued to write.
Talking about the time that you left me
Naked and face down in the hotel hallway
Dallas, Texas, 3 a.m.
It wasn't the first time she went storming off, and it probably wouldn't be the last. She relates everything that happens in her life to all the terrible things in her life. She knew he squirmed at the thought of her attempting suicide. She knew how to push his buttons. So when she wanted attention, how she didn't get enough Jeff could never understand, she pulled a knife and started slowly cutting her wrists, smiling as the blood trickled down her pale skin right in front of him. The last time she did it, they had just finished making love, and were lying in each other's arms, listening to each other breathe. It was so serene and placid. But suddenly she jumped out of the bed and started screaming. Not screaming at him per say, but screaming at whatever demon she hadn't conquered yet. It drove Jeff insane. What was she doing? She was so happy a minute ago. All he wanted to do was run up and grab the knife out of her hands. But sadly he knew that wouldn't accomplish anything. She wasn't trying to kill herself. She was trying to prove a point. She was showing Jeff that she could, whenever she wanted. She knows that hurts her and hurts him even more. Then she would storm out, blood dripping down her arm as she slammed the door behind her. Jeff wanted to run after her with everything in his being. This isn't the first. He sadly thought to himself as he put his head on the pillow. He recoiled in fear as he saw the white pillow stained with her blood out of the corner of his eye. He threw the pillow across the room. And I know it wont' be the last.
But I know the telephone would ring
And you'd say all those beautiful things
Oh how you do it all the time
How you get me on the line
Your explanation
All Jeff had to do when she ran out was to turn on his cell phone. Within a few hours, her shaky, teary-eyed voice would softly ring out over the air waves. Inside he was so relieved, knowing she was okay. But he knew she wasn't okay. She still had problems even he couldn't help her with. But she wasn't willing to deal with them. So Jeff was forced to. The worst part was knowing that this was routine, a normal occurrence. That was what bothered him the most.
Hey, you do it all the time
Hey, you do it all
And when the drugs wear off
You find you're not so tough
You think that you're so special
That you're high above the rest
But I know the telephone would ring
And you'd say all those beautiful things
He'd coax her to come back from wherever she was, to stop whatever she was doing and come home. She'd be at the door a few minutes later, looking pale and haggard. He'd take her in his arms and she'd apologize over and over again. He'd take his medical kit out and bandage up her scarred and bloody wrists, comb her hair, dress her in a pair of his boxers and a tee shirt, and wrap her up in the blanket next to him. She'd fall asleep within minutes and Jeff would just stare at her wondering. How could this keep happening? She is my love, my image of perfection, and not even this can change that. But how can I help her? I need to get her out of this downward spiral of self mutilation and regression. She needs help and I don't think I can help her.
Oh how you do it all the time
How you get me on the line
Your explanation
Hey, you do it all the time
Hey, you do it all
And now I know I've got the right idea
Jeff knew why she did it. She wanted attention. She wanted him to continually 'save' her from whatever evil she had created. It was as if her image of the relationship was a damsel in distress and her shining knight. It seemed like she couldn't have a relationship or a conversation unless she had a problem, unless she needed help.
No one is ever changing me again you see
In any little way
It's so amazing how the years
Seem shorter now I know
But Jeff couldn't physically or emotionally deal with that. There was no possible way he could support two people, especially someone like her who needed such continual care and love. But he didn't want to lose her. He couldn't imagine his life without her in it. She was truly a Goddess. A very disturbed one, but a Goddess nonetheless. Everyone has their past, their problems, their weak points. But can I deal with hers? Is this relationship even a relationship at all? He wondered. He was more afraid of what she'd do to herself if he left her than when she ran out in the middle of the night.
It's not what I'm used to today
Hey, you do it all the time
Hey, you do it all
Come on now you do it all the time
You know that you do it all the time
Come on how you do it all the time
Sighing, Jeff shut his journal. This isn't helping. Admitting defeat, he stood up and picked up the phone. He had to talk to her. If that didn't work, he didn't know what would. But he realized he was ready to deal with whatever was on the other end of that phone, whether it be his Goddess, or his Satan.
*Flickerstick, "Hey!"
Hey, you do it all the time
Hey, you do it all
So take a breath, I know you're feeling jaded
Whoever said something that was perfect was easy? Jeff sighed as he started to write again. He lifted up his pen from the familiar paper and shook his head. It's a damn good thing I love her so much. He thought. Putting the pen back on the paper, he continued to write.
Talking about the time that you left me
Naked and face down in the hotel hallway
Dallas, Texas, 3 a.m.
It wasn't the first time she went storming off, and it probably wouldn't be the last. She relates everything that happens in her life to all the terrible things in her life. She knew he squirmed at the thought of her attempting suicide. She knew how to push his buttons. So when she wanted attention, how she didn't get enough Jeff could never understand, she pulled a knife and started slowly cutting her wrists, smiling as the blood trickled down her pale skin right in front of him. The last time she did it, they had just finished making love, and were lying in each other's arms, listening to each other breathe. It was so serene and placid. But suddenly she jumped out of the bed and started screaming. Not screaming at him per say, but screaming at whatever demon she hadn't conquered yet. It drove Jeff insane. What was she doing? She was so happy a minute ago. All he wanted to do was run up and grab the knife out of her hands. But sadly he knew that wouldn't accomplish anything. She wasn't trying to kill herself. She was trying to prove a point. She was showing Jeff that she could, whenever she wanted. She knows that hurts her and hurts him even more. Then she would storm out, blood dripping down her arm as she slammed the door behind her. Jeff wanted to run after her with everything in his being. This isn't the first. He sadly thought to himself as he put his head on the pillow. He recoiled in fear as he saw the white pillow stained with her blood out of the corner of his eye. He threw the pillow across the room. And I know it wont' be the last.
But I know the telephone would ring
And you'd say all those beautiful things
Oh how you do it all the time
How you get me on the line
Your explanation
All Jeff had to do when she ran out was to turn on his cell phone. Within a few hours, her shaky, teary-eyed voice would softly ring out over the air waves. Inside he was so relieved, knowing she was okay. But he knew she wasn't okay. She still had problems even he couldn't help her with. But she wasn't willing to deal with them. So Jeff was forced to. The worst part was knowing that this was routine, a normal occurrence. That was what bothered him the most.
Hey, you do it all the time
Hey, you do it all
And when the drugs wear off
You find you're not so tough
You think that you're so special
That you're high above the rest
But I know the telephone would ring
And you'd say all those beautiful things
He'd coax her to come back from wherever she was, to stop whatever she was doing and come home. She'd be at the door a few minutes later, looking pale and haggard. He'd take her in his arms and she'd apologize over and over again. He'd take his medical kit out and bandage up her scarred and bloody wrists, comb her hair, dress her in a pair of his boxers and a tee shirt, and wrap her up in the blanket next to him. She'd fall asleep within minutes and Jeff would just stare at her wondering. How could this keep happening? She is my love, my image of perfection, and not even this can change that. But how can I help her? I need to get her out of this downward spiral of self mutilation and regression. She needs help and I don't think I can help her.
Oh how you do it all the time
How you get me on the line
Your explanation
Hey, you do it all the time
Hey, you do it all
And now I know I've got the right idea
Jeff knew why she did it. She wanted attention. She wanted him to continually 'save' her from whatever evil she had created. It was as if her image of the relationship was a damsel in distress and her shining knight. It seemed like she couldn't have a relationship or a conversation unless she had a problem, unless she needed help.
No one is ever changing me again you see
In any little way
It's so amazing how the years
Seem shorter now I know
But Jeff couldn't physically or emotionally deal with that. There was no possible way he could support two people, especially someone like her who needed such continual care and love. But he didn't want to lose her. He couldn't imagine his life without her in it. She was truly a Goddess. A very disturbed one, but a Goddess nonetheless. Everyone has their past, their problems, their weak points. But can I deal with hers? Is this relationship even a relationship at all? He wondered. He was more afraid of what she'd do to herself if he left her than when she ran out in the middle of the night.
It's not what I'm used to today
Hey, you do it all the time
Hey, you do it all
Come on now you do it all the time
You know that you do it all the time
Come on how you do it all the time
Sighing, Jeff shut his journal. This isn't helping. Admitting defeat, he stood up and picked up the phone. He had to talk to her. If that didn't work, he didn't know what would. But he realized he was ready to deal with whatever was on the other end of that phone, whether it be his Goddess, or his Satan.
*Flickerstick, "Hey!"