*Numair Salmalín and the kingdom of Tortall are the sole property of Tamora
Pierce, and the author of this story makes no attempts to claim them as her
own.*
BUZZ-BUZZ. I slap the alarm clock, shutting off it's blaring noise. I truly hate that thing. I stumble out of bed, stub my toe on the phone book I swept onto the floor the night before when I was too tired to properly clean my room and shuffle into the bathroom to re-wet my contacts so I can see. I move over to the sink area of my bathroom. I'm not fully awake yet, so I don't notice the man's face in the mirror. When I look up, I'm completely shocked. My eyes open wide, and I give my arm a hard pinch. Ow! It hurts! So, I'm obviously not dreaming. The man's mouth is moving, but I can't hear anything. He's got long, black hair with shadowy brown eyes. I reach forward, expecting my hand to smack against the mirror, but when it goes through, I grasp the man's wrist and pull him through. He topples off my counter and onto the blue tile floor in a most unceremonious fashion. He curses under his breath, then rights himself.
"Hello," he says, quite calmly for someone who has just popped out of my mirror and into my bathroom.
"Hello," I say warily. Despite my earlier pinch, I'm still not completely sure this isn't a dream. What else can it be? Men just don't fall out of mirrors in real life…at least, not any mirrors I've ever owned. Maybe I'm just going crazy.
"I am Numair Salmalín," he announces.
Now I know I'm bonkers. Numair Salmalín? The famed black robe mage from my favorite books of all time? In my bathroom? Pah! He's saying something, but I'm not exactly listening. Maybe I should tune it.
"…I know you must be shocked, as am I. Tell me, what part of Tortall are we in?" He is saying.
"Tortall? You're joking. Tortall isn't real. It's a place made up by Tamora Pierce. And you're not real either. I'm dreaming. Or hallucinating. Either way, you're not real."
"Hm…No Tortall? And who is Tamora Pierce? Is she the queen of this realm?" He says, ignoring my comments about him not being real.
"No. She's an author of a series of books on the fictional world of Tortall. This "realm" is the United States, and you aren't real. I'm hallucinating. You're a hallucination," I look at my watch. "I'm already running late, so if you could just hop back into my mirror, Oh Hallucination of Mine, I'd most appreciate it." I leave, going to the kitchen for coffee, assuming that there is a coffee maker in my hallucination.
Praise Jesus! There is a coffee maker! I pour in some of my pre- ground coffee and sigh happily as it starts to drip into the pot. I pop some toast into the toaster and go to the door of my apartment and pick up my paper. Hmm. Nothing interesting today, I think as I skim the front page. I pass by the trashcan and drop it in. By now, I have a nice amount of coffee in the pot, and pour myself a cup. My toast pops up and is a bit on the burned side, but I don't mind. I sit down and take a bite. I hear a noise behind me, and I turn around. My hallucination is rummaging around in my living room! Do hallucinations do that? Well, since they aren't real, I suppose they can do whatever they feel like. Like fall out of mirrors belonging to poor, unsuspecting women. Anyways, he's still in there. I put my toast down (I'm not hungry any more) and go see what he's looking at.
"Hello again," he says without looking up from the newspaper I dropped in the trashcan. Great! He's going through my trash now. This hallucination is quite pushy, isn't he?
"Excuse me, but why aren't you back in the mirror? I actually have to do things today."
"Don't let me bother you. I'll just tag along, and you'll never know I'm there."
"Like hell you are. I'm not going to let you 'just tag along'. You're not real. You belong in Tortall which is in a book which was written by Tamora Pierce. I need to call a doctor."
"Doctor?" he asks.
"Healer. To cure me of my hallucinations."
"Oh."
"'Oh'? Is that all you can say? You pop out of my mirror, start going through my trash, and all you can say is 'Oh'?"
"Actually, you pulled me out. I was trying out a new scrying spell, and then I saw you in the pond I was using. Imagine my surprise when you reached out and tugged me into the pond."
Hm. Never looked at it that way. If I think I'm nuts, think how poor Mr. Hallucination must feel. Although, he must be used to this sort of thing.
"I have a proposal," he says.
"And what would that be, Great Mage?"
"Suppose, I am real. And that I did somehow fall into your world from mine. This would be a great chance to do some investigating. For instance, I have already discovered that my Gift has disappeared completely. There is so much more I could learn. I propose that you take the day to show me the things your society views as important, then tonight, I try to get back home."
Will I say yes? Or will I force him to leave now? Looks like you'll have to wait and see.
BUZZ-BUZZ. I slap the alarm clock, shutting off it's blaring noise. I truly hate that thing. I stumble out of bed, stub my toe on the phone book I swept onto the floor the night before when I was too tired to properly clean my room and shuffle into the bathroom to re-wet my contacts so I can see. I move over to the sink area of my bathroom. I'm not fully awake yet, so I don't notice the man's face in the mirror. When I look up, I'm completely shocked. My eyes open wide, and I give my arm a hard pinch. Ow! It hurts! So, I'm obviously not dreaming. The man's mouth is moving, but I can't hear anything. He's got long, black hair with shadowy brown eyes. I reach forward, expecting my hand to smack against the mirror, but when it goes through, I grasp the man's wrist and pull him through. He topples off my counter and onto the blue tile floor in a most unceremonious fashion. He curses under his breath, then rights himself.
"Hello," he says, quite calmly for someone who has just popped out of my mirror and into my bathroom.
"Hello," I say warily. Despite my earlier pinch, I'm still not completely sure this isn't a dream. What else can it be? Men just don't fall out of mirrors in real life…at least, not any mirrors I've ever owned. Maybe I'm just going crazy.
"I am Numair Salmalín," he announces.
Now I know I'm bonkers. Numair Salmalín? The famed black robe mage from my favorite books of all time? In my bathroom? Pah! He's saying something, but I'm not exactly listening. Maybe I should tune it.
"…I know you must be shocked, as am I. Tell me, what part of Tortall are we in?" He is saying.
"Tortall? You're joking. Tortall isn't real. It's a place made up by Tamora Pierce. And you're not real either. I'm dreaming. Or hallucinating. Either way, you're not real."
"Hm…No Tortall? And who is Tamora Pierce? Is she the queen of this realm?" He says, ignoring my comments about him not being real.
"No. She's an author of a series of books on the fictional world of Tortall. This "realm" is the United States, and you aren't real. I'm hallucinating. You're a hallucination," I look at my watch. "I'm already running late, so if you could just hop back into my mirror, Oh Hallucination of Mine, I'd most appreciate it." I leave, going to the kitchen for coffee, assuming that there is a coffee maker in my hallucination.
Praise Jesus! There is a coffee maker! I pour in some of my pre- ground coffee and sigh happily as it starts to drip into the pot. I pop some toast into the toaster and go to the door of my apartment and pick up my paper. Hmm. Nothing interesting today, I think as I skim the front page. I pass by the trashcan and drop it in. By now, I have a nice amount of coffee in the pot, and pour myself a cup. My toast pops up and is a bit on the burned side, but I don't mind. I sit down and take a bite. I hear a noise behind me, and I turn around. My hallucination is rummaging around in my living room! Do hallucinations do that? Well, since they aren't real, I suppose they can do whatever they feel like. Like fall out of mirrors belonging to poor, unsuspecting women. Anyways, he's still in there. I put my toast down (I'm not hungry any more) and go see what he's looking at.
"Hello again," he says without looking up from the newspaper I dropped in the trashcan. Great! He's going through my trash now. This hallucination is quite pushy, isn't he?
"Excuse me, but why aren't you back in the mirror? I actually have to do things today."
"Don't let me bother you. I'll just tag along, and you'll never know I'm there."
"Like hell you are. I'm not going to let you 'just tag along'. You're not real. You belong in Tortall which is in a book which was written by Tamora Pierce. I need to call a doctor."
"Doctor?" he asks.
"Healer. To cure me of my hallucinations."
"Oh."
"'Oh'? Is that all you can say? You pop out of my mirror, start going through my trash, and all you can say is 'Oh'?"
"Actually, you pulled me out. I was trying out a new scrying spell, and then I saw you in the pond I was using. Imagine my surprise when you reached out and tugged me into the pond."
Hm. Never looked at it that way. If I think I'm nuts, think how poor Mr. Hallucination must feel. Although, he must be used to this sort of thing.
"I have a proposal," he says.
"And what would that be, Great Mage?"
"Suppose, I am real. And that I did somehow fall into your world from mine. This would be a great chance to do some investigating. For instance, I have already discovered that my Gift has disappeared completely. There is so much more I could learn. I propose that you take the day to show me the things your society views as important, then tonight, I try to get back home."
Will I say yes? Or will I force him to leave now? Looks like you'll have to wait and see.