Part the Thirteenth: Double Double
[AN: OOoooooo...thirteeennnn... All triskadecaphobiacs (that's 'people
afraid of the number thirteen' to the plebs) can relax, this isn't a
horror. All my horrors actually have *plots*. Not that I have very many
horrors up my sleeve... There's a Kurt-angst fic and a romance that
includes a vampire and that's about it. Yes, I do have a wierd mind,
thankyou for noticing. So, instead of the usual Stephen King-esque stuph
you'd expect here, I have the next-nearest thing as far as scary
concepts go: Multiple Kurts. Think about it :) ]
It happened so quick, at least to those watching. Spinning blades
erupted and zinged towards an unaware head.
"Jamie! Look out!" Kurt tackled him.
{Bamf!}
Then there was screaming, smoke and confusion, and a small crowd
suddenly in the control centre of the Danger Room.
For those concerned, it was a minor eternity. Kurt, when he woke up,
said he could feel the strain of 'porting increase as the Jamie he held
split into multiples. Then something happened as it got rough for the
both of them, and Kurt swore he was tearing apart.
Then one of the *other* five Kurts woke up and demanded to know what
had happened.
Hank was the one who summed it all up. "I fear we may be in for some
interesting times..."
To ease confusion, each of the Kurts now wore a number. It was
strictly arbitary, they got numbered in the order that they achieved
consciousness. There was no way to tell which was the original. The same
problem was evident with the Jamies, but there were fifteen of *them*.
"I ain't takin' the fall," Logan rumbled. "When they're in a random
danger sim, I *mean* random. Kid shoulda kept his eyes open."
"I was only trying to help," said Kurt Four. "He would have died if--"
"--we didn't do something," finished Kurt Two.
"Is there like, any way to stop them like, *doing* that? It's like,
mega-annoying."
"Sorry, Katzchen," said Kurt One.
"We can't help it," said Kurt Five.
"We're *identical*," said Kurt Three. "In every way."
"Not even twins get this identical," sighed Kurt Four.
"How the heck are we going to handle school?" they chorussed.
"Could you guys like, *shut* *UP*?"
Another chorus, "Sorry, Kitty."
"Rrrr!"
"Please," Xavier begged. "Try to keep calm. We'll just cope with this
as if it were another random duplication."
"Yeah," said one of the Jamies. "We pick a virus and 'develop
symptoms' for the day."
"...and then we do chores with *Wolverine*," muttered another.
"Teaches ya to keep track of the original, don't it, Squirt?"
"I think a reprieve is in order, this time," said Xavier. "There was
no way we could have anticipated this result, and equally no way of
discerning the original until the copies dissipate."
All of the Kurts looked very frightened. "I... hadn't thought of
that," they murmured.
"It isn't a theological quandry," Hank soothed. "As far as we can
tell, Jamie's duplicates come from alternate universes that haven't
seperated from ours, yet. After a finite amount time, they just go
back."
"Hey! Maybe that's why our powers got crosswired," said a Jamie.
"Nightcrawler goes into another dimension in order to 'port. Maybe his
dimension and my dimensions got all mixed up."
"Nein, there aren't fifteen of us," said Kurt Two.
"The trouble started when there were three of you," said Kurt Five.
"Ja. I couldn't take the brunt of the trip like always," added Kurt
Three.
All five of them held their ribs in the memory of the pain, and
moaned.
"That was when I hung on to you," said another Jamie, "'cause it
*hurt*."
A third Jamie added, "I didn't think. Sorry."
"Professor! Now they're *both* doing it!"
"Just where do you think *you're* going?"
"I'm going to sit down."
"That's *my* seat."
"It's my seat, too."
"Look, there's plenty of seats to go around. We can't *all* sit in
this one."
"Ja, but *this* one's next to Kitty..."
Two of the Kurts were attempting to push each other out of their way.
A third was hiding his face in shame while leaning on the chair in
question. The fourth stepped between the two fighters while a fifth
leaned in close to Kitty.
"I'm so sorry," he murmured. "I had *no* idea I was like this."
"Get away from her, she's mine!"
"She's not anyone's, dummkopf!"
"Stop it, you're scaring her!"
"Clappe!"
"Get outta my chair!"
"ELF!" Logan barked. "Settle it quietly or you're all eating at the
kiddies table."
All five Kurts looked at each other. "Rock, paper, scissors," they
hissed, starting a match.
Kitty shrunk in on herself. "This is like, totally embarressing," she
muttered.
"Ha! You're out."
"Verdammt..." Five went off, muttering to himself all the way, to sit
next to Amara.
"Did *I* give you leave to sit next to me, peasant?"
"Shut up or I'll give you Gypsy Germs."
"Professor! Five's *breathing* on me!"
"You want a shot at the kiddies table, too?"
A chorus, "Sorry, Mr Logan."
Then, whispered, "Stupid peasant."
"Stuck-up snob."
Kitty gently headbutted the table. "Shoot me now," she whimpered.
"Ha!"
"Verdammt..." Three slunk off to sit next to Rogue.
"You do anythin' funny with that tail," she said, "an' I'll put it in
a *sling* for ya."
_I'm going to have to like, remember that one,_ thought Kitty.
"Ew. *Rogue*... you're my *sister*. *Yu-uck*..."
One lost a round and settled next to Logan with a nearly subliminal,
"Rrrr..."
"Sorry I'm not better company," Wolverine sarcasmed.
"YES! I am Spartacus!" crowed Four.
"You kiss her and you die," growled Two. "In fact, you *touch* her and
you die."
"Oh, just lose gracefully, fuzzball." Four plunked himself next to
Kitty with a triumphant grin and a cheery, "Guten Abend, meine Dame."
Two slumped into a seat next to Evan and growled under his breath.
No matter *how* many Jamies there were, he was always easier to deal
with. He just went along with whatever happened and never complained.
Kurt, being a more - active - personality, was obviously going to get on
people's nerves.
"Stop grinning like that, Trottel."
Including his own.
"Es ist a free country. I can grin if I want to."
"Elf..." rumbled Logan, thus putting an end to the hostilities.
_Correction,_ thought Kitty. _Open hostilities._ She sure hoped the
whole duplicate thing would be solved, soon. She didn't know how long
she could take Kurt glaring at himself as if he wanted to commit murder.
There was no *way* they could have a normal dinner, tonight.
Kitty woke up to a room full of flower arrangements. She then decided
to bury her head under her pillow until it all went away.
"Oh... my... God..." said Rogue. "Hey, Kitty--"
"Yes, I've seen it. I *know* who they're all from."
"Guess we still got multiple Kurts," Rogue said, sniffing the flowers.
"Is there any way you can like, hide me?" Kitty begged. "I don't want
what happened at dinner to like, happen at breakfast."
Their bedroom door burst open. "Hey guys, guess what?" Jubes demanded
at the top of her lungs. "There's only one Jamie, this morning.
Everything's back to--"
{Bamf! Bamf! Bamf! Bamf! Bamf!}
"Guten Morgen, Katzchen!"
"--normal?"
"Go away," Kitty moaned. One lovesick, hyperactive, blue fuzzball
chasing after her was more than plenty, she decided. In fact, her
preferred total of lovesick, hyperactive, blue fuzzballs was zero.
Unfortunately, she was stuck with five.
"Now look what you've done! You've upset her!"
"*I've* upset her? *You're* the one sitting on her underwear drawer."
"So you peeked, du Hurensohn! Die!"
A fight broke out amongst the Kurts. The Marquis of Queensbury didn't
even get a look-in.
Kitty quietly phased through her bed, then the floor below it, in
order to make good her escape. If she played her cards right, she might
even get away from the Institute without seeing another Kurt.
A distant sound of shattering china indicated that the vases were now
being used as weaponry. There was going to be flowers and water all over
her bedroom.
"Ororo!" Kitty practically ran to help her out with the breakfast
things. "I kinda like, need your advice. How do I get them to like,
*stop*?"
Ororo smiled. "Any *other* girl would be pleased to have five young
men fighting over her attention."
"Five *different* men, maybe," Kitty allowed. "But *they* are all the
same guy! It was like, annoying enough when there was like, *one* of
him." She slammed a cupboard door shut. "I just wish they'd like, *all*
vanish!"
"Oh..." said one of the Kurts. He'd been minding his own business, for
a change, before their paths had crossed. He left without another word.
Ororo sighed. "I get the distinct feeling that you may have to
appologise for that, later," she said.
"Why should I?" demanded Kitty. "They're like, a total pain in the
*butt*..."
"You're *sure*," said Five.
"Her exact words," said Three. "She wants us all to vanish."
One was picking up potsherds and wilted flowers. He'd gone silent ever
since he'd heard the news.
Four murmured, "Maybe it'll happen."
Three said, "Maybe we're stuck like this. Forever."
They all shuddered.
"The least we could do is try to co-operate," said Two. "Maybe Kitty
would be less annoyed if we stop fighting."
As one Elf, they started picking up the mess they'd made.
"Okay, if two of us sit either side of her at meals, that means we can
cycle through, quicker. The *other* three get to sit opposite. Fair?"
"Ja."
"We can deal."
"I think if we *combine* our efforts at peace offerings, she might be
less upset," offered Four.
"Good call!"
"Maybe we could get Hank to help us with some poetry or something."
The rest glared at Three.
"What? Chicks *dig* poetry!"
"Ja, but we suck at it."
"Especially in English."
"*Ja*... we wind up sounding like a hallmark card."
"Okay. Forget the poetry. What else ist there?"
"Schokolade!" Chorused three of him.
"Ja ja ja, stupid question."
"Maybe some jewelry? A nice bracelet?"
"Ja! Sehr gut! Nothing says 'I'm sorry' und 'I love you, but you don't
have to do anything' like a bracelet."
"Ja, bracelets are the non-relationship body decoration of choice."
"Four out of five fuzzy mutants agree!"
They fell into laughter.
Scott looked up at the noise that filtered through the ceiling. "Oh
great," he muttered. "They're *planning* something."
"That does it," announced Evan, "I'm hiding under the furniture."
"This one's taken!" said Jamie, who was already lurking under the
coffee table.
When Kitty came back from the mall, there was a forest on her dresser.
She was amazed that it was in one pot. Someone had gone the whole hog
and, considering that Lance was like, broke all the time, it had to be
Kurt.
Like he could really bribe her after the fight, that morning.
She read the card, just in case.
"Oh good *grief*... Ew."
It said, _Roses are red,
These flowers are pretty,
To help say 'I'm sorry',
To mein leibchen Kitty._
The obverse said, "Sorry about the poem, Three insisted. Look in your
top dresser drawer. K."
_Probably has spring snakes in it._ Kitty risked a peek. There were
two boxes. The larger one had, "Open me first!" on a post-it note on its
top.
Kitty shrugged and obeyed. She had to blink thrice before it
registered. Expensive. Top of the line. Untouched. Swiss. Chocolates. He
must have like, had a hernia stopping himselves from eating them.
The second box had a bracelet in it. One of those elegant fine chain
things that looked like a rope made out of gold.
"Okay," Kitty said to no-one in particular. "I think I can like,
forgive him." She put on the bracelet. It looked like, totally nice.
Her door opened, it was Amara, who was used to going anywhere she
liked.
"Ah, Kitten. I seem to have mislaid my hairbrush. May I borrow--"
Amara stared at the bracelet. "Where did you get that?"
"This?" Kitty shook it. "It's like, Kurt's appology for being five
times the annoyance he like, usually is. Isn't it cool? It looks just
like a little rope!"
"That - *peasant* - obtained a piece of Faberge for you - and you say
it looks like a little rope..." Amara hid her face behind one hand. "I'm
surrounded by lowborn *fools*," she muttered.
"I thought Faberge only did like, easter eggs..."
Amara held up her finger. "Moment," she fled the scene, only to return
a minute later with a largeish jewelry box. Kitty knew that it held some
of her favourites. "*This* is the work of Faberge."
Kitty looked at the treasure within. Her jaw dropped. "Like,
OmyGod..."
"It's not just jewelry," said Amara. "It's *art*."
"I hear *that*."
"Is he also responsible for the floral arrangement?"
"Yeah," Kitty grumbled. "It's like, enormous. I can't see the mirror."
"I bet he sent you Swiss chocolates as well."
"How did you know?"
"Just a wild guess," Amara said. "Who would have thought that the
peasant had *taste*?" she mused. "Mayhap I judged him too early..."
"Try one of the swirly things," Kitty offered. "I think they're like,
slightly alcoholic."
"Kitty Pryde, you are *such* an uncultured plebeian," Amara took one
of the offered chocolates with a sigh, then left, muttering something
about pigs and pearls.
"Like, whatever."
Five minutes later, Amara was fleeing for her life from a mob of angry
Kurts. She must have dropped a *very* insulting phrase, but Kitty
couldn't figure out what it was. Kurt like, had a comeback for
everything Amara called him.
The Kurts caught up with her down the hall, and a scuffle ensued.
Kitty saw Amara for a third time, this time held fast by the Kurts.
"Say it," said Three.
Amara screwed up her face, "I'm-sorry-for-calling-you-an-uncultured-
plebeian-and-a-filthy-hog," she seethed. Were it not for the Indoors
rule about destructive powers, Kurt would have been roasted by now.
"And-I'm-sorry-I-said-you-were-mentally-impoverished. Filthy peasant.
I've said it. Can I go now?"
Three, Two and Five conferred. "I suppose," allowed Two. "But don't
let us catch you putting anyone else down again."
"...muttermumblegrowlstupidpeasantgrumblesnarlgrizzle..." Amara
stormed off.
"Huh," said Four. "Money can buy you everything but manners." He
leaned on the doorframe, and with a faint {pip} just vanished.
"HA!" The remaining four crowed in unison. "It's not permanent! We're
not *stuck* like this. Est ist wunderbar! Oh, Katzchen..."
To an Elf, they mobbed her in a group fuzzy hug.
Kitty just phased away. "Like, get off of me!"
"Oh..." again, another Elf chorus. "Sorry, Kitty."
Kitty sighed. There was practically a little raincloud following them
on their way out. He'd gone from totally hyped to totally bummed in the
space of a handful of seconds. _Maybe I should like, ask the Professor
to scope him out for like, manic depression or something._
"What's up with you lot?" said Scott as four of the Kurts trooped into
the theatre.
"Good news, bad news," said Five.
"Good news," announced One, "The clones are starting to vanish."
"Bad news," said Three, "I maxed out one of my credit cards and
Katzchen still hates me."
"*One* of your credit cards?" Scott raised an eyebrow. "How many have
you got?"
"Er. You know all that mail addressed to 'the occupant'?" said Two.
"We sort of open it to see what's there," said Three.
Scott sighed. "How many credit cards were you guys 'pre-approved'
for?"
"We've got about fifty..." Five managed a nervous giggle.
"On the bright side, we stopped *you* guys getting into the same
trouble, ja?" said One.
"Professor's going to *love* this..." Scott sarcasmed.
"We'll pay it off," said Three. "We know what work ist for."
"Jacob laboured seven years for Rachel," sighed Five. "Why should
anything be different now?"
"Seven years?" scoffed Two, "We'll be lucky to survive *one*." {pip}
He was gone.
"And then there were three," said One. "Not that that makes much of a
difference."
"Ja. She'll hate us no matter what," sighed Five.
Three started slouching towards the Professor's study, "Might as well
start working now, while there's still many hands to make the work
light. Ish."
The other two trooped after him.
"Professor..."
"Basement seven. Clean it out and I'll clear your debt."
"So... you know."
"Yes," said the Professor. "After you're finished, we'll have a little
talk about junk mail and unscrupulous card companies."
"Jawohl, Herr Professor."
"Understand that I only let it go this long because you were
apparently responsible with them. Until today."
"Jawohl, Herr Professor."
"Next time, bake her cookies."
"Jawohl, Herr Professor."
Xavier watched them go, then he started towards the kitchen in order
to warn Storm about a possible baking spree. Poor Kurt *did* tend to go
overboard when he was trying to impress...
Basement seven hadn't been that dirty to begin with. Most of the stuff
in there was overflow from other basements and just needed to be
resorted into the areas where they belonged. Therefore, the Kurts
decided to give the Professor value for money and washed the walls and
ceiling before they buffed the floor.
By the time they were done, there were only two of him left.
Three and Five.
They slumped upstairs for a wash before they scoped out the kitchen
for opposition.
Ororo was already there. "Three batches, no more," she said. "You get
to choose the flavour. I'll help ward off the predators."
"The Professor warned you, ja?"
"You got that right," Ororo smiled. "And after your *last* baking
spree; which contained ten batches of assorted flavours and at least one
fistfight, I think it's fair that you get supervision."
"One flavour?"
"*One* flavour."
Three and Five spoke in unison, "Chocolate cookies with chocolate
chips and chocolate icing!"
Ororo groaned. "I should have guessed..."
Something smelled nice.
Kitty inhaled. _Strike that. Something smells like, divine... Mmmmm...
Hot cookies..._ Hot *chocolate* cookies. Kitty increased her speed. If
she dumped her stuff fast enough, she might be able to phase her way
into grabbing one.
The smell was coming from the vicinity of her room.
_Oh great_
Two of the Kurts were waiting for her. They had to be the sole
survivors, because the others would definitely be hanging around for
*this*.
Each was smiling and holding a box. A deliciously *chocolate*-smelling
box.
"Your choice, fraulein," said Five, offering his box. "Icing--"
"--or no icing," said Three. "Just in case you're on a diet."
_I gotta *choose*?_ Kitty bit her lip. "Uh."
"Or you can have both," they chorused.
Kitty took the boxes in a blink and locked herself in her room. Only
when she was halfway through each box did she remember that she hadn't
said so much as a word to them. Not even a 'thanks'.
_Oh well. I'll like, thank him like, later._
Sigh. "So much for that."
"I guess she'll never like me."
{pip}
Kurt sighed again, taking off the numeral that had defined his
existance for the last forty-eight hours. _Would the real Kurt Wagner
please stand - alone..._ He dropped the 3 on the floor by her door and
sought out solitude.
Not that that was too hard. Everyone in the Institute had had a little
too much Kurt, recently, and they were avoiding him.
She didn't say 'thanks'. She didn't even offer him a cookie - when she
knew for a fact that the rest of his culinary efforts had been inhaled
by the hordes below.
He didn't even have a clone-'brother' to talk to.
_Time to give everyone time,_ he thought. _They'll come looking when
they want me. If they want me._
Kurt crept away, unnoticed, into the night.
"Great. When you don't want him, he's everywhere, but when you want
him, he vanishes!"
"Why don't you just -uh- find him?" Scott made a little 'mental power'
gesture at his temple.
"Do you have any idea what it's like to contact several *identical*
people at once?" Jean demanded.
"Yeah, but Kurt's been downsizing, lately. There's fewer of him
around. It might be easier on you."
"True, but the other four may be hiding."
"Jean, I saw one of them pop out of reality. That's one less Kurt you
have to deal with. Guaranteed."
Jean sighed. "Fine. But I'm only doing a light scan."
"What'd you want him for, anyway?"
"Two words: More cookies."
"Ohyeah. I'm all for that," Scott grinned.
Jean closed her eyes. Then she frowned. "Odd," she said. "I can't pick
him up. Any of him."
Kitty hid the cookies in her bottom drawer before she answered the
door. A few cookie crumbs were easily lost by some brushing at her top.
"Like, what?"
"We're looking for Kurt. Seen him?"
"Jean... what's like, up with you guys?"
"We want him to do more of those cookies," said Scott.
"Yeah, two batches aren't enough," said Amara. "Besides, the peasant
knows chocolate."
Kitty thought guiltily about the whole batch's worth the two Kurts had
given her. And the 'I love you's written in the icing. "I like, saw him
earlier," she admitted. "He like, gave me some like, cookies as a way of
like, appologising? There were like, two of him then."
"Did you hear a little 'pip' sound at any time?"
"Yeah. One." Then Kitty focussed on the discarded number. "But I
wasn't like, listening too hard."
Rahne whispered, "What if they *both* went 'pip'?"
"Just because I can't find him," said Jean, "Doesn't mean he's not
around. He could be excercising his mental shields. He could be
meditating. I don't know."
"I wouldn't worry," said Scott. "Kurt just finds places to hide for a
while. He'll get lonely and come back."
Rahne had been sniffing the floor in lupine form, and now she was back
to her human self. "If ye ask me, he was feelin' fair lonely enough
afore. He was smellin' plenty heartbroken when he were standin' here.
No-one had wanted to spend any time wi' him."
Kitty swallowed. All those icing 'I love you's turned into a big knot
of guilt in her stomach. "Can you like, track him, Rahne?"
"I can track 'im until he 'ports," she said, and went wolf again.
It was a very circuitous route. Kurt had wandered all over the estate,
looking in on various quiet little spots, finding them occupied, and
wandering on. He never teleported. He rarely did when he was depressed.
His path eventually lead them to an area of the estate that was just
known as the Wild Wood. Nobody, as far as anyone knew, went in there
except Logan. The kids had collectively only ever played Calvinball on
the outskirts.
Go too deep into the Wild Wood, they whispered, and you'd never come
out again.
Rahne insisted that there were only squirrels and the odd deer in
there, judging by the scent-trails. But the others noticed that *she*
never went in there either.
"It's just a dumb forest, right?"
"Only *Logan* goes in there," said Jamie. "Once you're out of sight of
the buildings, you can get lost *forever*."
"It's just *trees*," Evan insisted. "We play Calvinball in there."
"Yeah, but like, not too *far* in there."
"Kurt went in there," said Rahne.
"Yeah," said Amara. "But - he's a peasant, right? Born and bred in the
woods, yes? He practically comes home covered in squirrels every
evening."
"Yeah!" Jamie started hopping in place. "He practically tamed a real
live deer! He even let me pet it. It's *so* cool..."
"Yeah, but --" Bobby pointed in the woods. "--he never went in
*there*, did he?"
"I hope not," said Scott. "I warned him about the Wild Wood. I warned
*everyone* about the Wild Wood."
Jean rolled her eyes. "It's a *myth*. Honest. I made it up to scare
Scott's pants off when we were younger. I didn't know I'd made such an
impact..."
"It was the graphic imagery," said Scott. "And the blackout. And the
fact that *no-one* goes in there."
"Except Logan," said Ray.
"Yeah, but Logan's afraid of *nothing*," said Jubes.
"...I had nightmares for *weeks*..." Scott added.
"Way to give us *confidence*," muttered someone in the background.
"Yeah. We're on our own out here."
"And it's kinda dark."
Amara's hand ignited. "I can partially fix *that*. Jubes? Can you do
anything -er- long term?"
Jubes was shaking in her shoes. "Amara? You -um- you kinda made the
shadows more frightening...."
"Tch... Oh, for pity's *sake*..." Jean stormed into the Wild Wood.
"There's *nothing* to be afraid of."
Rahne howled. Jean froze, then glared at the lupine member of the
team.
Everyone looked up. It was a full moon.
"I'm still going!" Jean turned on her heel and headed straight into
the woods. "With or without you."
"Jean!" Scott raced in after her. "Wait!"
The rest ran after Scott.
{fooo.... POP!} Night turned into day.
_Verdammt. That's the fifth one in as many minutes..._ Kurt sighed.
_If I weren't so busy sulking, I'd have to ask Jubes what was up with
the flares._ Well, at least he was honest with himself. It was a *nice*
sulk. Time alone to churn over his thoughts, stare at the stars, argue
with the Almighty over the general unfairness of life, and wonder what
Kitty was doing.
Though he was certain it had something to do with Lance.
The flares blocked his view of the stars, so Kurt turned over and
played with the grass. Plucking stalks, weaving them together, tearing
them up, that sort of thing.
{fooo.... POP!}
They were getting closer. Or rather, they were coming from less far
away. _Could it be--? They *want* me now?_
No. It was more likely that the Professor had sent out a search party
to bring him in for dinner. Not that he was too terribly famished. There
were some nice apple trees in here, near his favourite perching rock,
and for once, they were in season.
{fooo.... POP!}
"There he is!"
"He's okay!"
"Kurt!"
Kurt looked up. Thirteen young mutants were mobbing him, faces
smiling, voices jubilant, arms wide. They caught him up in a joyous hug
and a rush of babbling explanations.
"...so scared for you..."
"...thought you'd vanished with the rest of the clones..."
"...even Jean was scared of the dark in *here*..."
"...never had to make so many flares in my *life*..."
"...don't you *ever* leave again! Never, you hear me, you fuzzy..."
"...should have known you'd be going Davy Crocket on us..."
Kurt lapped it up. He was *wanted*. Even Kitty was there, holding his
hand, appologising for her behaviour and thanking him for the cookies.
So many friendly touches. Such welcome company, after so long with just
his own.
They wound down, sitting on Kurt's rock, and laughing amongst
themselves.
"Were you *scared*?" asked Jamie. "I mean *nobody* goes into the Wild
Wood."
Kurt laughed. "Ja. I know. That's why I had to go into it and see
why."
They all stared at him.
"What did you find?"
"Squirrels. Deer. Some very nice wild apples. This little place. Es
ist quite nice."
They still stared at him.
"What?"
"This place," Scott announced, "has been *the* most frightening spot
of the estate for *five* *years* and you just waltz around like it's
nothing."
"You could have got lost *forever*," said Jamie.
Kurt snorted. "*Me*? Get lost? I never get lost."
"That's not like, what you said when I like, caught you in my *room*,"
said Kitty.
"When was *this*?" asked Jean.
"Couple of days after I arrived."
Kurt grinned. "I was -er- trying not to get caught, you see. I'm - the
one that put those 'welcome' gifts in your drawers..."
Scott and Jean sighed and looked heavenwards.
"That was like *you*? I thought they were from like, Scott."
"Ha," said Jean. "As I recall, *my* 'welcome' gift was a live lizard
in my undies drawer."
"It took all day to catch!" Scott defended. "I thought it was
pretty..."
"It was *poisonous*."
"*I* didn't know that..."
"Mental image alert," muttered Jubes. "Block all ears and run like
heck..."
"Uh..." said Roberto. "Which way?"
Silence fell. A very worried silence. They were still in the middle of
the Wild Wood. In the dark. At night.
Kurt clucked at them. "Tch! *Stadtvolker*... This way." He lead them
along, Kitty holding tight to his hand. Not that he didn't *like* this
latest development, but -- "You're not *scared*, are you, Katzchen?"
"Uh. A little," Kitty giggled. "But you're like, not scared, so I
guess I can be like, brave."
"Any fool can be not scared, liebe. It takes courage to face what you
fear. You've already *been* brave."
Kitty giggled again, heat warming her cheeks. "Like, I *knew* there
was another reason we were like, looking for you."
"Ja? What was the first one?"
The rest of the team, who'd been listening, decided to take their
turn.
"*COOKIES*!" they roared.
Ororo looked at the assembled multitude. The multitude looked back.
"It's like this," Jean announced.
"Kurt cooked cookies," said Jubes.
"*Nice* cookies," added Rogue.
"Addictive cookies," said Evan.
"We want more," said Amara.
"Lots more," added Jamie.
Ororo glared at them. They held their ground. Clearly, they meant
business and, after sneaking one hot off the tray while the elves hadn't
been looking, she had to admit they had a point.
"After dinner," she said.
And there was much rejoicing.
"Ooooooohhhhh..." groaned Ray. He was sprawled across the floor, as
were several other students. "I ate too much."
"I'd do it again in a second," said Roberto. "But, ooooooohhhh..."
"My tummy hurts," whimpered Jamie.
Amara groaned. "I ate too many iced ones. *Far* too many iced ones."
"But they were *so* *good*..." Sam moaned.
"Talk about 'binge'," Jubes sighed. "If anyone even *thinks* chocolate
at me, I'm gonna hurl."
"No you wouldn't," said Rahne. "'Tis a waste of the good stuff."
"Amen." Bobby grunted. "Think I ate a whole batch by myself..."
She stared at the 'I love you' in icing on the cookie. "Well," she
said, "I guess it's better than a lizard."
"I thought I already appologised for that," said Scott. "In spades."
"I remember," Jean laughed. "Did you get Kurt to ice this specially?"
"Well... yeah. I figured I don't have that much to lose, right?"
Jean took a bite. "Duncan was *never* this sweet to me."
"So is that an, 'I'll never blow you off again'?"
"It's an, 'I'll try to *remember* that you're my friend, too'," she
allowed. "And I'll see about Duncan and I."
"But he's a *jerk*."
"Not to me," said Jean.
Scott sighed.
"It's going to be okay," she soothed. "You'll find someone someday."
Scott watched her go. _I already did,_ he thought. _Pity she has her
eyes elsewhere... I can wait._
Kurt was busily scraping icing sugar out of his fingernails. Verdammt
stuff wasn't only pernicious, but it set harder than concrete.
"Kurt?"
It was Kitty. He always had time for Kitty. "Jawohl, meine Dame?"
She held up a cookie. "I like, saved you one. Thanks for like, making
them and like, everything." She was wearing the bracelet he'd got her.
Kurt took the offering. It's iced face said, "I love you." He stared
at her. She was blushing. He stared at the cookie, then back at
Katzchen. "Do you - mean this?"
"Um. Yeah." She giggled and blushed a lot more.
"Oh, Katzchen!" And he was hugging her with every ounce of exhuberance
in his body, and eating the cookie. "Ich liebe Sie auch, mit meinem
ganzem Inneren..." He nuzzled her neck.
Kitty giggled all the harder. "Kurt, you're like, tickling me."
"Want me to stop?" He offered her a bite of the cookie.
"*No*..." she accepted the treat. "Just like, telling you."
"Wunderbar. Wunderbar..." he sighed, and went back to his previous
distraction.
He'd have to thank Jamie later. And the Professor. And Ororo. And -
well - everyone.
Maybe another set of cookies.
[AN: OOoooooo...thirteeennnn... All triskadecaphobiacs (that's 'people
afraid of the number thirteen' to the plebs) can relax, this isn't a
horror. All my horrors actually have *plots*. Not that I have very many
horrors up my sleeve... There's a Kurt-angst fic and a romance that
includes a vampire and that's about it. Yes, I do have a wierd mind,
thankyou for noticing. So, instead of the usual Stephen King-esque stuph
you'd expect here, I have the next-nearest thing as far as scary
concepts go: Multiple Kurts. Think about it :) ]
It happened so quick, at least to those watching. Spinning blades
erupted and zinged towards an unaware head.
"Jamie! Look out!" Kurt tackled him.
{Bamf!}
Then there was screaming, smoke and confusion, and a small crowd
suddenly in the control centre of the Danger Room.
For those concerned, it was a minor eternity. Kurt, when he woke up,
said he could feel the strain of 'porting increase as the Jamie he held
split into multiples. Then something happened as it got rough for the
both of them, and Kurt swore he was tearing apart.
Then one of the *other* five Kurts woke up and demanded to know what
had happened.
Hank was the one who summed it all up. "I fear we may be in for some
interesting times..."
To ease confusion, each of the Kurts now wore a number. It was
strictly arbitary, they got numbered in the order that they achieved
consciousness. There was no way to tell which was the original. The same
problem was evident with the Jamies, but there were fifteen of *them*.
"I ain't takin' the fall," Logan rumbled. "When they're in a random
danger sim, I *mean* random. Kid shoulda kept his eyes open."
"I was only trying to help," said Kurt Four. "He would have died if--"
"--we didn't do something," finished Kurt Two.
"Is there like, any way to stop them like, *doing* that? It's like,
mega-annoying."
"Sorry, Katzchen," said Kurt One.
"We can't help it," said Kurt Five.
"We're *identical*," said Kurt Three. "In every way."
"Not even twins get this identical," sighed Kurt Four.
"How the heck are we going to handle school?" they chorussed.
"Could you guys like, *shut* *UP*?"
Another chorus, "Sorry, Kitty."
"Rrrr!"
"Please," Xavier begged. "Try to keep calm. We'll just cope with this
as if it were another random duplication."
"Yeah," said one of the Jamies. "We pick a virus and 'develop
symptoms' for the day."
"...and then we do chores with *Wolverine*," muttered another.
"Teaches ya to keep track of the original, don't it, Squirt?"
"I think a reprieve is in order, this time," said Xavier. "There was
no way we could have anticipated this result, and equally no way of
discerning the original until the copies dissipate."
All of the Kurts looked very frightened. "I... hadn't thought of
that," they murmured.
"It isn't a theological quandry," Hank soothed. "As far as we can
tell, Jamie's duplicates come from alternate universes that haven't
seperated from ours, yet. After a finite amount time, they just go
back."
"Hey! Maybe that's why our powers got crosswired," said a Jamie.
"Nightcrawler goes into another dimension in order to 'port. Maybe his
dimension and my dimensions got all mixed up."
"Nein, there aren't fifteen of us," said Kurt Two.
"The trouble started when there were three of you," said Kurt Five.
"Ja. I couldn't take the brunt of the trip like always," added Kurt
Three.
All five of them held their ribs in the memory of the pain, and
moaned.
"That was when I hung on to you," said another Jamie, "'cause it
*hurt*."
A third Jamie added, "I didn't think. Sorry."
"Professor! Now they're *both* doing it!"
"Just where do you think *you're* going?"
"I'm going to sit down."
"That's *my* seat."
"It's my seat, too."
"Look, there's plenty of seats to go around. We can't *all* sit in
this one."
"Ja, but *this* one's next to Kitty..."
Two of the Kurts were attempting to push each other out of their way.
A third was hiding his face in shame while leaning on the chair in
question. The fourth stepped between the two fighters while a fifth
leaned in close to Kitty.
"I'm so sorry," he murmured. "I had *no* idea I was like this."
"Get away from her, she's mine!"
"She's not anyone's, dummkopf!"
"Stop it, you're scaring her!"
"Clappe!"
"Get outta my chair!"
"ELF!" Logan barked. "Settle it quietly or you're all eating at the
kiddies table."
All five Kurts looked at each other. "Rock, paper, scissors," they
hissed, starting a match.
Kitty shrunk in on herself. "This is like, totally embarressing," she
muttered.
"Ha! You're out."
"Verdammt..." Five went off, muttering to himself all the way, to sit
next to Amara.
"Did *I* give you leave to sit next to me, peasant?"
"Shut up or I'll give you Gypsy Germs."
"Professor! Five's *breathing* on me!"
"You want a shot at the kiddies table, too?"
A chorus, "Sorry, Mr Logan."
Then, whispered, "Stupid peasant."
"Stuck-up snob."
Kitty gently headbutted the table. "Shoot me now," she whimpered.
"Ha!"
"Verdammt..." Three slunk off to sit next to Rogue.
"You do anythin' funny with that tail," she said, "an' I'll put it in
a *sling* for ya."
_I'm going to have to like, remember that one,_ thought Kitty.
"Ew. *Rogue*... you're my *sister*. *Yu-uck*..."
One lost a round and settled next to Logan with a nearly subliminal,
"Rrrr..."
"Sorry I'm not better company," Wolverine sarcasmed.
"YES! I am Spartacus!" crowed Four.
"You kiss her and you die," growled Two. "In fact, you *touch* her and
you die."
"Oh, just lose gracefully, fuzzball." Four plunked himself next to
Kitty with a triumphant grin and a cheery, "Guten Abend, meine Dame."
Two slumped into a seat next to Evan and growled under his breath.
No matter *how* many Jamies there were, he was always easier to deal
with. He just went along with whatever happened and never complained.
Kurt, being a more - active - personality, was obviously going to get on
people's nerves.
"Stop grinning like that, Trottel."
Including his own.
"Es ist a free country. I can grin if I want to."
"Elf..." rumbled Logan, thus putting an end to the hostilities.
_Correction,_ thought Kitty. _Open hostilities._ She sure hoped the
whole duplicate thing would be solved, soon. She didn't know how long
she could take Kurt glaring at himself as if he wanted to commit murder.
There was no *way* they could have a normal dinner, tonight.
Kitty woke up to a room full of flower arrangements. She then decided
to bury her head under her pillow until it all went away.
"Oh... my... God..." said Rogue. "Hey, Kitty--"
"Yes, I've seen it. I *know* who they're all from."
"Guess we still got multiple Kurts," Rogue said, sniffing the flowers.
"Is there any way you can like, hide me?" Kitty begged. "I don't want
what happened at dinner to like, happen at breakfast."
Their bedroom door burst open. "Hey guys, guess what?" Jubes demanded
at the top of her lungs. "There's only one Jamie, this morning.
Everything's back to--"
{Bamf! Bamf! Bamf! Bamf! Bamf!}
"Guten Morgen, Katzchen!"
"--normal?"
"Go away," Kitty moaned. One lovesick, hyperactive, blue fuzzball
chasing after her was more than plenty, she decided. In fact, her
preferred total of lovesick, hyperactive, blue fuzzballs was zero.
Unfortunately, she was stuck with five.
"Now look what you've done! You've upset her!"
"*I've* upset her? *You're* the one sitting on her underwear drawer."
"So you peeked, du Hurensohn! Die!"
A fight broke out amongst the Kurts. The Marquis of Queensbury didn't
even get a look-in.
Kitty quietly phased through her bed, then the floor below it, in
order to make good her escape. If she played her cards right, she might
even get away from the Institute without seeing another Kurt.
A distant sound of shattering china indicated that the vases were now
being used as weaponry. There was going to be flowers and water all over
her bedroom.
"Ororo!" Kitty practically ran to help her out with the breakfast
things. "I kinda like, need your advice. How do I get them to like,
*stop*?"
Ororo smiled. "Any *other* girl would be pleased to have five young
men fighting over her attention."
"Five *different* men, maybe," Kitty allowed. "But *they* are all the
same guy! It was like, annoying enough when there was like, *one* of
him." She slammed a cupboard door shut. "I just wish they'd like, *all*
vanish!"
"Oh..." said one of the Kurts. He'd been minding his own business, for
a change, before their paths had crossed. He left without another word.
Ororo sighed. "I get the distinct feeling that you may have to
appologise for that, later," she said.
"Why should I?" demanded Kitty. "They're like, a total pain in the
*butt*..."
"You're *sure*," said Five.
"Her exact words," said Three. "She wants us all to vanish."
One was picking up potsherds and wilted flowers. He'd gone silent ever
since he'd heard the news.
Four murmured, "Maybe it'll happen."
Three said, "Maybe we're stuck like this. Forever."
They all shuddered.
"The least we could do is try to co-operate," said Two. "Maybe Kitty
would be less annoyed if we stop fighting."
As one Elf, they started picking up the mess they'd made.
"Okay, if two of us sit either side of her at meals, that means we can
cycle through, quicker. The *other* three get to sit opposite. Fair?"
"Ja."
"We can deal."
"I think if we *combine* our efforts at peace offerings, she might be
less upset," offered Four.
"Good call!"
"Maybe we could get Hank to help us with some poetry or something."
The rest glared at Three.
"What? Chicks *dig* poetry!"
"Ja, but we suck at it."
"Especially in English."
"*Ja*... we wind up sounding like a hallmark card."
"Okay. Forget the poetry. What else ist there?"
"Schokolade!" Chorused three of him.
"Ja ja ja, stupid question."
"Maybe some jewelry? A nice bracelet?"
"Ja! Sehr gut! Nothing says 'I'm sorry' und 'I love you, but you don't
have to do anything' like a bracelet."
"Ja, bracelets are the non-relationship body decoration of choice."
"Four out of five fuzzy mutants agree!"
They fell into laughter.
Scott looked up at the noise that filtered through the ceiling. "Oh
great," he muttered. "They're *planning* something."
"That does it," announced Evan, "I'm hiding under the furniture."
"This one's taken!" said Jamie, who was already lurking under the
coffee table.
When Kitty came back from the mall, there was a forest on her dresser.
She was amazed that it was in one pot. Someone had gone the whole hog
and, considering that Lance was like, broke all the time, it had to be
Kurt.
Like he could really bribe her after the fight, that morning.
She read the card, just in case.
"Oh good *grief*... Ew."
It said, _Roses are red,
These flowers are pretty,
To help say 'I'm sorry',
To mein leibchen Kitty._
The obverse said, "Sorry about the poem, Three insisted. Look in your
top dresser drawer. K."
_Probably has spring snakes in it._ Kitty risked a peek. There were
two boxes. The larger one had, "Open me first!" on a post-it note on its
top.
Kitty shrugged and obeyed. She had to blink thrice before it
registered. Expensive. Top of the line. Untouched. Swiss. Chocolates. He
must have like, had a hernia stopping himselves from eating them.
The second box had a bracelet in it. One of those elegant fine chain
things that looked like a rope made out of gold.
"Okay," Kitty said to no-one in particular. "I think I can like,
forgive him." She put on the bracelet. It looked like, totally nice.
Her door opened, it was Amara, who was used to going anywhere she
liked.
"Ah, Kitten. I seem to have mislaid my hairbrush. May I borrow--"
Amara stared at the bracelet. "Where did you get that?"
"This?" Kitty shook it. "It's like, Kurt's appology for being five
times the annoyance he like, usually is. Isn't it cool? It looks just
like a little rope!"
"That - *peasant* - obtained a piece of Faberge for you - and you say
it looks like a little rope..." Amara hid her face behind one hand. "I'm
surrounded by lowborn *fools*," she muttered.
"I thought Faberge only did like, easter eggs..."
Amara held up her finger. "Moment," she fled the scene, only to return
a minute later with a largeish jewelry box. Kitty knew that it held some
of her favourites. "*This* is the work of Faberge."
Kitty looked at the treasure within. Her jaw dropped. "Like,
OmyGod..."
"It's not just jewelry," said Amara. "It's *art*."
"I hear *that*."
"Is he also responsible for the floral arrangement?"
"Yeah," Kitty grumbled. "It's like, enormous. I can't see the mirror."
"I bet he sent you Swiss chocolates as well."
"How did you know?"
"Just a wild guess," Amara said. "Who would have thought that the
peasant had *taste*?" she mused. "Mayhap I judged him too early..."
"Try one of the swirly things," Kitty offered. "I think they're like,
slightly alcoholic."
"Kitty Pryde, you are *such* an uncultured plebeian," Amara took one
of the offered chocolates with a sigh, then left, muttering something
about pigs and pearls.
"Like, whatever."
Five minutes later, Amara was fleeing for her life from a mob of angry
Kurts. She must have dropped a *very* insulting phrase, but Kitty
couldn't figure out what it was. Kurt like, had a comeback for
everything Amara called him.
The Kurts caught up with her down the hall, and a scuffle ensued.
Kitty saw Amara for a third time, this time held fast by the Kurts.
"Say it," said Three.
Amara screwed up her face, "I'm-sorry-for-calling-you-an-uncultured-
plebeian-and-a-filthy-hog," she seethed. Were it not for the Indoors
rule about destructive powers, Kurt would have been roasted by now.
"And-I'm-sorry-I-said-you-were-mentally-impoverished. Filthy peasant.
I've said it. Can I go now?"
Three, Two and Five conferred. "I suppose," allowed Two. "But don't
let us catch you putting anyone else down again."
"...muttermumblegrowlstupidpeasantgrumblesnarlgrizzle..." Amara
stormed off.
"Huh," said Four. "Money can buy you everything but manners." He
leaned on the doorframe, and with a faint {pip} just vanished.
"HA!" The remaining four crowed in unison. "It's not permanent! We're
not *stuck* like this. Est ist wunderbar! Oh, Katzchen..."
To an Elf, they mobbed her in a group fuzzy hug.
Kitty just phased away. "Like, get off of me!"
"Oh..." again, another Elf chorus. "Sorry, Kitty."
Kitty sighed. There was practically a little raincloud following them
on their way out. He'd gone from totally hyped to totally bummed in the
space of a handful of seconds. _Maybe I should like, ask the Professor
to scope him out for like, manic depression or something._
"What's up with you lot?" said Scott as four of the Kurts trooped into
the theatre.
"Good news, bad news," said Five.
"Good news," announced One, "The clones are starting to vanish."
"Bad news," said Three, "I maxed out one of my credit cards and
Katzchen still hates me."
"*One* of your credit cards?" Scott raised an eyebrow. "How many have
you got?"
"Er. You know all that mail addressed to 'the occupant'?" said Two.
"We sort of open it to see what's there," said Three.
Scott sighed. "How many credit cards were you guys 'pre-approved'
for?"
"We've got about fifty..." Five managed a nervous giggle.
"On the bright side, we stopped *you* guys getting into the same
trouble, ja?" said One.
"Professor's going to *love* this..." Scott sarcasmed.
"We'll pay it off," said Three. "We know what work ist for."
"Jacob laboured seven years for Rachel," sighed Five. "Why should
anything be different now?"
"Seven years?" scoffed Two, "We'll be lucky to survive *one*." {pip}
He was gone.
"And then there were three," said One. "Not that that makes much of a
difference."
"Ja. She'll hate us no matter what," sighed Five.
Three started slouching towards the Professor's study, "Might as well
start working now, while there's still many hands to make the work
light. Ish."
The other two trooped after him.
"Professor..."
"Basement seven. Clean it out and I'll clear your debt."
"So... you know."
"Yes," said the Professor. "After you're finished, we'll have a little
talk about junk mail and unscrupulous card companies."
"Jawohl, Herr Professor."
"Understand that I only let it go this long because you were
apparently responsible with them. Until today."
"Jawohl, Herr Professor."
"Next time, bake her cookies."
"Jawohl, Herr Professor."
Xavier watched them go, then he started towards the kitchen in order
to warn Storm about a possible baking spree. Poor Kurt *did* tend to go
overboard when he was trying to impress...
Basement seven hadn't been that dirty to begin with. Most of the stuff
in there was overflow from other basements and just needed to be
resorted into the areas where they belonged. Therefore, the Kurts
decided to give the Professor value for money and washed the walls and
ceiling before they buffed the floor.
By the time they were done, there were only two of him left.
Three and Five.
They slumped upstairs for a wash before they scoped out the kitchen
for opposition.
Ororo was already there. "Three batches, no more," she said. "You get
to choose the flavour. I'll help ward off the predators."
"The Professor warned you, ja?"
"You got that right," Ororo smiled. "And after your *last* baking
spree; which contained ten batches of assorted flavours and at least one
fistfight, I think it's fair that you get supervision."
"One flavour?"
"*One* flavour."
Three and Five spoke in unison, "Chocolate cookies with chocolate
chips and chocolate icing!"
Ororo groaned. "I should have guessed..."
Something smelled nice.
Kitty inhaled. _Strike that. Something smells like, divine... Mmmmm...
Hot cookies..._ Hot *chocolate* cookies. Kitty increased her speed. If
she dumped her stuff fast enough, she might be able to phase her way
into grabbing one.
The smell was coming from the vicinity of her room.
_Oh great_
Two of the Kurts were waiting for her. They had to be the sole
survivors, because the others would definitely be hanging around for
*this*.
Each was smiling and holding a box. A deliciously *chocolate*-smelling
box.
"Your choice, fraulein," said Five, offering his box. "Icing--"
"--or no icing," said Three. "Just in case you're on a diet."
_I gotta *choose*?_ Kitty bit her lip. "Uh."
"Or you can have both," they chorused.
Kitty took the boxes in a blink and locked herself in her room. Only
when she was halfway through each box did she remember that she hadn't
said so much as a word to them. Not even a 'thanks'.
_Oh well. I'll like, thank him like, later._
Sigh. "So much for that."
"I guess she'll never like me."
{pip}
Kurt sighed again, taking off the numeral that had defined his
existance for the last forty-eight hours. _Would the real Kurt Wagner
please stand - alone..._ He dropped the 3 on the floor by her door and
sought out solitude.
Not that that was too hard. Everyone in the Institute had had a little
too much Kurt, recently, and they were avoiding him.
She didn't say 'thanks'. She didn't even offer him a cookie - when she
knew for a fact that the rest of his culinary efforts had been inhaled
by the hordes below.
He didn't even have a clone-'brother' to talk to.
_Time to give everyone time,_ he thought. _They'll come looking when
they want me. If they want me._
Kurt crept away, unnoticed, into the night.
"Great. When you don't want him, he's everywhere, but when you want
him, he vanishes!"
"Why don't you just -uh- find him?" Scott made a little 'mental power'
gesture at his temple.
"Do you have any idea what it's like to contact several *identical*
people at once?" Jean demanded.
"Yeah, but Kurt's been downsizing, lately. There's fewer of him
around. It might be easier on you."
"True, but the other four may be hiding."
"Jean, I saw one of them pop out of reality. That's one less Kurt you
have to deal with. Guaranteed."
Jean sighed. "Fine. But I'm only doing a light scan."
"What'd you want him for, anyway?"
"Two words: More cookies."
"Ohyeah. I'm all for that," Scott grinned.
Jean closed her eyes. Then she frowned. "Odd," she said. "I can't pick
him up. Any of him."
Kitty hid the cookies in her bottom drawer before she answered the
door. A few cookie crumbs were easily lost by some brushing at her top.
"Like, what?"
"We're looking for Kurt. Seen him?"
"Jean... what's like, up with you guys?"
"We want him to do more of those cookies," said Scott.
"Yeah, two batches aren't enough," said Amara. "Besides, the peasant
knows chocolate."
Kitty thought guiltily about the whole batch's worth the two Kurts had
given her. And the 'I love you's written in the icing. "I like, saw him
earlier," she admitted. "He like, gave me some like, cookies as a way of
like, appologising? There were like, two of him then."
"Did you hear a little 'pip' sound at any time?"
"Yeah. One." Then Kitty focussed on the discarded number. "But I
wasn't like, listening too hard."
Rahne whispered, "What if they *both* went 'pip'?"
"Just because I can't find him," said Jean, "Doesn't mean he's not
around. He could be excercising his mental shields. He could be
meditating. I don't know."
"I wouldn't worry," said Scott. "Kurt just finds places to hide for a
while. He'll get lonely and come back."
Rahne had been sniffing the floor in lupine form, and now she was back
to her human self. "If ye ask me, he was feelin' fair lonely enough
afore. He was smellin' plenty heartbroken when he were standin' here.
No-one had wanted to spend any time wi' him."
Kitty swallowed. All those icing 'I love you's turned into a big knot
of guilt in her stomach. "Can you like, track him, Rahne?"
"I can track 'im until he 'ports," she said, and went wolf again.
It was a very circuitous route. Kurt had wandered all over the estate,
looking in on various quiet little spots, finding them occupied, and
wandering on. He never teleported. He rarely did when he was depressed.
His path eventually lead them to an area of the estate that was just
known as the Wild Wood. Nobody, as far as anyone knew, went in there
except Logan. The kids had collectively only ever played Calvinball on
the outskirts.
Go too deep into the Wild Wood, they whispered, and you'd never come
out again.
Rahne insisted that there were only squirrels and the odd deer in
there, judging by the scent-trails. But the others noticed that *she*
never went in there either.
"It's just a dumb forest, right?"
"Only *Logan* goes in there," said Jamie. "Once you're out of sight of
the buildings, you can get lost *forever*."
"It's just *trees*," Evan insisted. "We play Calvinball in there."
"Yeah, but like, not too *far* in there."
"Kurt went in there," said Rahne.
"Yeah," said Amara. "But - he's a peasant, right? Born and bred in the
woods, yes? He practically comes home covered in squirrels every
evening."
"Yeah!" Jamie started hopping in place. "He practically tamed a real
live deer! He even let me pet it. It's *so* cool..."
"Yeah, but --" Bobby pointed in the woods. "--he never went in
*there*, did he?"
"I hope not," said Scott. "I warned him about the Wild Wood. I warned
*everyone* about the Wild Wood."
Jean rolled her eyes. "It's a *myth*. Honest. I made it up to scare
Scott's pants off when we were younger. I didn't know I'd made such an
impact..."
"It was the graphic imagery," said Scott. "And the blackout. And the
fact that *no-one* goes in there."
"Except Logan," said Ray.
"Yeah, but Logan's afraid of *nothing*," said Jubes.
"...I had nightmares for *weeks*..." Scott added.
"Way to give us *confidence*," muttered someone in the background.
"Yeah. We're on our own out here."
"And it's kinda dark."
Amara's hand ignited. "I can partially fix *that*. Jubes? Can you do
anything -er- long term?"
Jubes was shaking in her shoes. "Amara? You -um- you kinda made the
shadows more frightening...."
"Tch... Oh, for pity's *sake*..." Jean stormed into the Wild Wood.
"There's *nothing* to be afraid of."
Rahne howled. Jean froze, then glared at the lupine member of the
team.
Everyone looked up. It was a full moon.
"I'm still going!" Jean turned on her heel and headed straight into
the woods. "With or without you."
"Jean!" Scott raced in after her. "Wait!"
The rest ran after Scott.
{fooo.... POP!} Night turned into day.
_Verdammt. That's the fifth one in as many minutes..._ Kurt sighed.
_If I weren't so busy sulking, I'd have to ask Jubes what was up with
the flares._ Well, at least he was honest with himself. It was a *nice*
sulk. Time alone to churn over his thoughts, stare at the stars, argue
with the Almighty over the general unfairness of life, and wonder what
Kitty was doing.
Though he was certain it had something to do with Lance.
The flares blocked his view of the stars, so Kurt turned over and
played with the grass. Plucking stalks, weaving them together, tearing
them up, that sort of thing.
{fooo.... POP!}
They were getting closer. Or rather, they were coming from less far
away. _Could it be--? They *want* me now?_
No. It was more likely that the Professor had sent out a search party
to bring him in for dinner. Not that he was too terribly famished. There
were some nice apple trees in here, near his favourite perching rock,
and for once, they were in season.
{fooo.... POP!}
"There he is!"
"He's okay!"
"Kurt!"
Kurt looked up. Thirteen young mutants were mobbing him, faces
smiling, voices jubilant, arms wide. They caught him up in a joyous hug
and a rush of babbling explanations.
"...so scared for you..."
"...thought you'd vanished with the rest of the clones..."
"...even Jean was scared of the dark in *here*..."
"...never had to make so many flares in my *life*..."
"...don't you *ever* leave again! Never, you hear me, you fuzzy..."
"...should have known you'd be going Davy Crocket on us..."
Kurt lapped it up. He was *wanted*. Even Kitty was there, holding his
hand, appologising for her behaviour and thanking him for the cookies.
So many friendly touches. Such welcome company, after so long with just
his own.
They wound down, sitting on Kurt's rock, and laughing amongst
themselves.
"Were you *scared*?" asked Jamie. "I mean *nobody* goes into the Wild
Wood."
Kurt laughed. "Ja. I know. That's why I had to go into it and see
why."
They all stared at him.
"What did you find?"
"Squirrels. Deer. Some very nice wild apples. This little place. Es
ist quite nice."
They still stared at him.
"What?"
"This place," Scott announced, "has been *the* most frightening spot
of the estate for *five* *years* and you just waltz around like it's
nothing."
"You could have got lost *forever*," said Jamie.
Kurt snorted. "*Me*? Get lost? I never get lost."
"That's not like, what you said when I like, caught you in my *room*,"
said Kitty.
"When was *this*?" asked Jean.
"Couple of days after I arrived."
Kurt grinned. "I was -er- trying not to get caught, you see. I'm - the
one that put those 'welcome' gifts in your drawers..."
Scott and Jean sighed and looked heavenwards.
"That was like *you*? I thought they were from like, Scott."
"Ha," said Jean. "As I recall, *my* 'welcome' gift was a live lizard
in my undies drawer."
"It took all day to catch!" Scott defended. "I thought it was
pretty..."
"It was *poisonous*."
"*I* didn't know that..."
"Mental image alert," muttered Jubes. "Block all ears and run like
heck..."
"Uh..." said Roberto. "Which way?"
Silence fell. A very worried silence. They were still in the middle of
the Wild Wood. In the dark. At night.
Kurt clucked at them. "Tch! *Stadtvolker*... This way." He lead them
along, Kitty holding tight to his hand. Not that he didn't *like* this
latest development, but -- "You're not *scared*, are you, Katzchen?"
"Uh. A little," Kitty giggled. "But you're like, not scared, so I
guess I can be like, brave."
"Any fool can be not scared, liebe. It takes courage to face what you
fear. You've already *been* brave."
Kitty giggled again, heat warming her cheeks. "Like, I *knew* there
was another reason we were like, looking for you."
"Ja? What was the first one?"
The rest of the team, who'd been listening, decided to take their
turn.
"*COOKIES*!" they roared.
Ororo looked at the assembled multitude. The multitude looked back.
"It's like this," Jean announced.
"Kurt cooked cookies," said Jubes.
"*Nice* cookies," added Rogue.
"Addictive cookies," said Evan.
"We want more," said Amara.
"Lots more," added Jamie.
Ororo glared at them. They held their ground. Clearly, they meant
business and, after sneaking one hot off the tray while the elves hadn't
been looking, she had to admit they had a point.
"After dinner," she said.
And there was much rejoicing.
"Ooooooohhhhh..." groaned Ray. He was sprawled across the floor, as
were several other students. "I ate too much."
"I'd do it again in a second," said Roberto. "But, ooooooohhhh..."
"My tummy hurts," whimpered Jamie.
Amara groaned. "I ate too many iced ones. *Far* too many iced ones."
"But they were *so* *good*..." Sam moaned.
"Talk about 'binge'," Jubes sighed. "If anyone even *thinks* chocolate
at me, I'm gonna hurl."
"No you wouldn't," said Rahne. "'Tis a waste of the good stuff."
"Amen." Bobby grunted. "Think I ate a whole batch by myself..."
She stared at the 'I love you' in icing on the cookie. "Well," she
said, "I guess it's better than a lizard."
"I thought I already appologised for that," said Scott. "In spades."
"I remember," Jean laughed. "Did you get Kurt to ice this specially?"
"Well... yeah. I figured I don't have that much to lose, right?"
Jean took a bite. "Duncan was *never* this sweet to me."
"So is that an, 'I'll never blow you off again'?"
"It's an, 'I'll try to *remember* that you're my friend, too'," she
allowed. "And I'll see about Duncan and I."
"But he's a *jerk*."
"Not to me," said Jean.
Scott sighed.
"It's going to be okay," she soothed. "You'll find someone someday."
Scott watched her go. _I already did,_ he thought. _Pity she has her
eyes elsewhere... I can wait._
Kurt was busily scraping icing sugar out of his fingernails. Verdammt
stuff wasn't only pernicious, but it set harder than concrete.
"Kurt?"
It was Kitty. He always had time for Kitty. "Jawohl, meine Dame?"
She held up a cookie. "I like, saved you one. Thanks for like, making
them and like, everything." She was wearing the bracelet he'd got her.
Kurt took the offering. It's iced face said, "I love you." He stared
at her. She was blushing. He stared at the cookie, then back at
Katzchen. "Do you - mean this?"
"Um. Yeah." She giggled and blushed a lot more.
"Oh, Katzchen!" And he was hugging her with every ounce of exhuberance
in his body, and eating the cookie. "Ich liebe Sie auch, mit meinem
ganzem Inneren..." He nuzzled her neck.
Kitty giggled all the harder. "Kurt, you're like, tickling me."
"Want me to stop?" He offered her a bite of the cookie.
"*No*..." she accepted the treat. "Just like, telling you."
"Wunderbar. Wunderbar..." he sighed, and went back to his previous
distraction.
He'd have to thank Jamie later. And the Professor. And Ororo. And -
well - everyone.
Maybe another set of cookies.