Part the Fifteenth: There's This Girl
[Just in case you missed it, the winner is _There's This Girl_. I won't
divulge the plot (such as it is) here, lest I spoil ya. Enjoy the fun :)
This is set between season one and two, just FYI]
_Dear Diary,_ Kitty wrote. _You are like, totally not going to believe
this! All this time, that two-faced, two-timing, lying, cheating, fuzzy,
blue *RAT*--_ She underlined that last word a few more times. _--had a
girl at home. I like, just found out today. Like, at afternoon
assembly..._
Kitty yawned. Same old, same old. Same old assembly. Same old hard
seats. Same old Kurt, constantly flirting with her. Same old boredom.
Same old stupid *wait* for the people who'd *called* the assembly to get
their buttocks into gear. It wasn't as if they like, didn't know when it
was *on*...
Even Kurt had fallen into a bored torpor by the time Principal
Darkholme turned up with another kid in tow.
_Huh. New student. Like, big whoop._ Kitty yawned again. _Wonder if
it's a Mutie?_
She didn't look anything special. Paleish skin. Dark, red-brown hair.
Slightly shy demeanor. Ordinary taste in clothes. But then, Kitty, in
her humble opinion, didn't look anything special either.
"Students, I'd like you to welcome our new exchange student. She's
from Heirelgart, Germany, and she may need a little help with her
English at first."
Beside her, Kurt jolted as if hit with an electric shock.
"I expect all of you to be *helpful* towards her. She's a long way
from home. Her name is Katja--"
"*LIEBCHEN*!" Kurt crowed, already running down to the girl. He
practically bowled her over in the exhuberant hug he gave her.
_I mean they were like, practically having *SEX* right there in front
of like, Principal Darkholme and *everyone*. I have never in my *life*
seen two people like, *hug* that much._
_It was like, disgusting! And all the time he was here, he was like,
coming on to *me*! I am like, *so* totally lucky I like, saw him coming
and like, rejected him at every turn._
_She's like, a whole year younger than me! Isn't that like, *gross*?
She's like, *Fourteen*. Ew!_ Kitty underlined that a few dozen times,
too. _Talk about like, green apples, if you know what I like, mean.
*EW*! I can't even like, *think* of those two kissing and junk. It's
like, completely disgusting._
_I mean, they were like, all *over* each other like a bad rash. He was
like, Katja this, Katja that; Katja the next answer to freakin' Jesus,
Mary and *Joseph* if you asked *him*. I mean, *EEEEEWWWWW*!_ Kitty
underlined that word so often that it took up the next line. _Like, why
don't they just like, rent a *room*?_
Kitty sighed, glad to get that much off her chest, and picked up the
'phone so she could complain to Lance some more.
But someone was already on.
"...und *dann* alle diese Frosche hop heraus! Sie konnten screaming
fur horen *Meilen*!" said the first voice. Kitty recognised it as
Kurt's.
"Und jemand anderes war, ja verantwortlich?" said the female on the
other end who *had* to be Katja.
"Von *Kurs* jemand anderes war verantwortlich! Ich verbreite nie meine
*besitzen* Geheimnisse..." Kurt laughed.
"*Hello*," Kitty yelled down the 'phone. "Some other people might like
to communicate - this *decade*!"
"Ach, horen auf sie! Sie wurden denken sie besassen das Telefon..."
"Ja, ist sie wie die." Kurt switched gears and started speaking
English. "Katzchen, at least give us a few minutes to sign off, okay? We
haven't seen each other in a while, you know."
"*RRRRR*!" Kitty slammed the 'phone down and went back to her diary.
_I can't believe it!_ She wrote. _They're like, totally monopolising
like, *my* 'phone time. I like, hung up before they could like, start
*Frenching* each other down the 'phone._
_*EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW*!!!!_
_I can *not* believe I like, keep thinking of junk like that. *EW*! I
mean like, who'd *want* him, anyway? The guy's like, the nearest thing
to a like, wookie or something._
_Maybe a muppet._
Kitty snickered at that last line. Yeah. Kurt Wagner. Walking
*Muppet*. He could like, get work on Sesame Street or something. Serve
him right for being such a two-timing little male *slut*.
"Sounds like someone is *jealous*..." Katja cooed in German. "Should
we be merciful to her and tell her about us?"
"No..." said Kurt. "Let her stew for a while. It'll be good for her
soul, I should think."
"Good for her blood pressure, you mean."
Kurt laughed. "Oh, you know me. I'm *always* good for blood pressure."
"So I keep hearing."
Kitty interrupted again in English. "GET OFF THE 'PHONE!"
Both of them laughed at her before they said their goodbyes. Katja was
still laughing when she hung up, facing her exchange-home and all the
boringly normal things it represented. Explaining the joke to the
equally boringly normal Smiths would take too long and be way too
confusing.
Kurt's little sweetheart was certainly a firebrand. Of course, she'd
be even more so once she was lead to believe that she and Kurt were
something *other* than brother and sister.
From the looks of her face, yesterday, kleine Katzchen was pretty much
past halfway there already.
Maybe getting good and jealous would wake her up to herself.
_Dear Diary,_ Kitty wrote. _I can *not* believe it! Kurt's made
himself like, Katja's buddy-boy. He's like, showing her around Bayville!
It's like he's suddenly lost what little brains he ever like, *had* and
like, completely forgotten about the whole hologram thing._
_We are like, *so* totally lucky she's like *dense* or something and
doesn't like, notice his fur. I mean, how stupid do you have to be about
that? He's like, so totally soft and gorgeous._
_To touch, I mean. Not that I've done that a lot, you know. It's kinda
like, weird, you know? You don't like, expect a coat of fur on someone.
Kurt's like, *totally* covered, from what I hear; and he's like *blue*.
I mean, it's like, really unnatural. But at the same time you like, want
to find out what he like, feels like._
_He's soft, like velvet made out of silk or something. It's like, *so*
totally startling, you know? Every time I feel it I have to jump._
_I mean, sure, it's like, a little bit gross. I mean - *body* hair!
Ew! But at the same time, he's like, *so* adorable. You just want to
keep feeling it. Touching it..._
Kitty looked at the words on the page. "Like, too much information,
Pryde."
_Not that I like, *do* or anything. I mean - body hair! Like, *gross*.
I only like, touched his face and his hands? For all I know, he's like,
coarse or something all over the rest of him. Ew._
_And that *tail*. I mean - *EW*! Major league. He like, handles stuff
with it and it's like, part of his butt? Talk about like, unhygenic. So
what if it's prehensile? Anything below the waistline should like, stay
under cover in *my* humble opinion._
Kitty giggled. _I just had this like, crazy idea of like, a third
pant's leg for Kurt's tail. Like, totally strange. But then, like, so's
Kurt, you know? Maybe I could like, come up with a bunch of tail
fashions or something. Get that thing covered up and out of sight._
_Then again, I don't even like, want to *know* about his lying, fuzzy,
blue butt right now._
_He and his precious little Katja like, went *out* together. Like, on
a *date*. Like, arm in arm._
_They even like, walk in step! It's like - *EEEWWWWW*!! I mean, he is
like *so* going to be like, totally *down* when she like, sees what he's
*really* like and like, runs screaming. I *so* totally want to be there
when it happens._
_I can like, see it now. She'll be like, *way* scared and we'll like,
*NEVER* see her again, and Kurt'll be all like, depressed and junk. And
then, when he's like, over it, everything will be like, back the way
it's like, *supposed* to be? You know, with him like, being nice to me
and everything?_
_Not that I like, *like* him being in my face 24/7. I mean - he's
gross! He like, eats like a *horse* and like, makes these like, *gross*
sandwiches. It's like someone showed him a PBJ and a BLT and he like,
decided to like, *mix* the two. *EEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWW*!!!_
_And the *way* he like, eats them. You'd like, think he was like,
starving or something. I mean, he like, eats his own weight at each
*meal* or something like that. He shouldn't like, *starve* or anything.
He's just like, *so* *GROSS*..._
_...he hasn't been eating here much, since *Katja* came._
_He's like, always going somewhere with her. They're like, joined at
the hip or something._
_I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I *hate* him!!!!!_
Kitty threw her diary across the room. Stupid Katja. She didn't even
know her last name, but she *knew* she was stupid.
Katja was fourteen. *Fourteen*!. A whole year younger and already a
size bigger than Kitty. Huge! It was amazing she didn't vanish under
rolls of fat or something.
Then again, maybe Kurt had a thing for big girls.
_EW!_ Kitty made a face. It was *way* more likely that Katja was
putting out. The little slut.
"I hate you, Katja," she whispered, setting up a pillow. "This is you.
And I hate," hit, "hate," hit, "hate," hit, "hate," hit, "hate," hit,
"hate," hit, "hate," hit, "hate," hit, "hate," hit, "hate," hit, "hate,"
hit, "*HATE* you! You stupid fat *cow*!" Punch, punch, pummel, hit, hit,
hit, *thump*.
"I'm thinking this may be a bad time to ask if you've seen my novel?"
said Kurt. He was standing in the doorway and looking slightly horrified
at the sight of her punching the heck out of her pillow.
Kitty went beetroot red slightly before she fell right through the
floor. She landed right in Scott's lap, interrupting something between
him and Jean. Mortified beyond belief, Kitty fled at warp speed.
It was all stupid Katja's fault!
_Dear Diary,_ Kitty wrote. _THE ELF MUST *DIE*!!!!!_
_ I mean, he and stupid fat Katja are like, *ALWAYS* together. He's
supposed to be like, helping her with her English (which *SUCKS*!) but
instead they like, spend all their time like, chatting in German
together. It's like he wants her to fail or something._
_*Jean* has to be all nice to her and junk. I hate her! I hate them
both! I mean, *everyone* is like, totally sucking up to her and being
all like, "Any friend of Kurt's..." and like *totally* taking her side
all the time._
_And get this - she's two-timing *Kurt*! Every time she like, sees a
guy who's like, halfway decent? She like, *has* to flirt with him._
_At least they've got something in common._
_But she like, has *NO* taste. I mean, I caught her flirting with
*Pietro*, of all people..._
"Gooooooood afternoon, lovely lady," a voice carolled.
Katja turned to face a whip-thin albino boy wearing impeccable clothes
and a grin fit to split his face. She knew him by reputation, but
pretended ignorance of his existance. "And you are?"
"Pietro Maximov, at your service," he bowed. "And what *I'd* like to
know is why you're wasting your time with fu-- er. With Wagner when you
could be having the time of your life with *anyone* else in this entire
school."
Katja smiled. It was hard not to. "Ah, but I know not *anyone* else in
this school as well as I know Kurt." Always a good defence.
"That's why you gotta branch out. Make new friends. Otherwise you'll
be stuck with that loser for the rest of your life."
Now, a grin. "How do you not know I am not already -er- 'stuck', as
you say, with him?"
Pietro's face fell. "Please tell me you're not together."
Katja crossed her fingers and showed them to him. "We are like this."
She closed her locker door, and there was Kurt, looking all -
protective.
"Is this --" pause, sneer, "--gentleman - bothering you, Schatz?"
"Nein, not much." Inwardly, she sighed. Any male that turned up on her
prospective-husband radar - and quite a few that didn't - had to run the
gauntlet of her brother, her father, her uncles, and cousins. As well as
a few other males, like Kurt's Centaur friend, Andrei, who just adopted
her. "I was just telling him how close you and I are."
Kurt switched smoothly into their local dialect. "[Not *too* much, I
hope.]"
Ah, yes. The little joke on Kleine Katzchen. Katja spotted the lady
herself across the hall, pretending to look for something in her locker.
She'd been 'looking' for the past five minutes with increasing antipathy
towards Katja.
"[No, not too much. I know the trick we're playing on your little
Kitten can't afford anyone knowing about our *real* relationship.]"
Kurt chuckled. "[Oh dear. When should we tell her, do you think?]" He,
too, had spotted Kitty and took Katja up in a hug.
"[Sometime after the slumber party at that Institute of yours, yes?
It'll make things easier on your mutant friends, too.]"
"[There's a slumber party? *How*?]"
Katja grinned. "[Oh, *all* us ladies can communicate telepathically.
Didn't you know that?]"
"[Ha! You arrange things while you take trips to the privy.]"
"[Well, yeah. That too.]" Katja smirked as Kitty gave up 'looking' in
her locker and stormed off to her next class. "[Everyone's invited,
though I think your kitten may be having a headache.]"
"[Cruel, cruel, love. How did I get to have you for a sister?]"
"[You see, when two people love each other *very* much...]"
Kurt laughed.
_...it wouldn't surprise me at all if they were like, *sleeping*
together. Though it *would* be like, totally disgusting._
Kitty stared at her own words. Would it *really* be that disgusting to
hold Kurt close? Even if his fur *was* a little coarse. Not that she
really knew.
She bet *Katja* knew. Stupid, size twelve Katja with her stupid,
perfect olive skin and her stupid, nearly-auburn hair that looked
*perfect* and fell in soft curls that Kitty would have been glad to die
for. Stupid, perfect her!
No wonder Kurt loved her. She was everything Kitty wasn't. Hell, she
probably even knew how to follow a recipe without having it turn out -
well - *yuck*.
Stupid Katja! Who like, made friends so totally easily and was coming
over tonight for movies an popcorn and makeup and giggling and trying on
each other's stuff and - Kitty had no doubt about this - looking
*fabulous* in everything.
Kitty sighed. She was such a total dweeb and she knew it. Even if she
was given like, a complete makeover and a new look; Kitty would still be
a dweeb.
A skinny little dweeb in a new look and makeup.
She cried into her pillow, mostly beause she couldn't really stay mad
at Katja.
She was like, so totally *nice*...
"There you are, Katzchen," Katja was hanging on the doorframe and
smiling at her. "Everyone is in the theatre, camping. Are you coming
down?"
_My head hurts._
The guys were sequestered to another area of the mansion, where they
played death-matches on the console until Logan hussled them all off to
bed.
The girls, on the other hand, camped in the theatre and watched chick
flicks whilst gorging themselves on popcorn, candy and pizza. The
makeovers mostly made them laugh, especially Kitty's 'Goth Look' versus
Rogue's 'Prep'.
They played 'truth or dare' amid much squealing and giggling, they
rated hunks, ate *far* too much pizza, and stayed up until the wee small
hours of the morning.
Kitty woke up first, or so she thought, until she realised Katja's
sleeping bag was also empty. Yawning, she shuffled into the kitchen to
see if the young German girl was there.
No sign of any teenager passing since they went to sleep.
Kitty scrubbed her eyes and headed towards the nearest toilet, which
was upstairs.
Kurt's door, first in the hall, was ajar.
He may not have been *born* in a tent, but he certainly acted like it,
sometimes.
"Silly Elf," Kitty mumbled. She reached for the door, intending to
close it properly, but she stopped to kind of stare at him.
His tail had fallen loose of the covers, and twitched against the
thick pile. His arm draped over a second form in his bed.
_That little *bitch*!_ Kitty raced downstairs, phasing lest she make
any noise, and bolted for the theatre. "*Jean*!" She hissed. "Wake up! I
like, totally need one of your cameras. *NOW*."
"Wstfgl?" Jean bleared into wakefulness. "Whutizit? Someone drooling?"
"No, it's like better. Worse. I don't know. Guess where *Katja* is?"
Jean yawned. "If this isn't a dream, I'm gonna kill you, Pryde... It's--"
she checked her watch, "--too early."
"Katja went and snuck into Kurt's bedroom," Kitty whispered. "They
like, totally slept together."
"*WHAT*?!" *That* woke her up.
"Mrf?"
"Wfl?"
"Shutupyouguys, I'mtryin'tosleep..."
"If it ain't noon, you're doomed."
...as well as a few others.
"She's still there, like, *in* Kurt's bed. They like, *totally* slept
together, I *know* it. That's why I like, need your camera."
"Camera?" Jean echoed. "I don't quite get this..."
"Like, *duh*... *Evidence*? Blackmail? Ringing any bells, yet?"
Rogue stirred from her cocoon to say, "If you keep talkin' so loud,
I'll shove all of your bells where the sun don't shine."
Jean stumbled into a semblance of cogniscance. "Okay, okay, okay," she
murmured. "It's not as if Logan isn't going to skin them both, anyway."
"So what? I wanna like, treasure the moment, okay?"
"Mmmmmrrrrgh..." said Jean.
"Come *on*," Kitty hissed, holding her arm. "You fly, I phase. We
like, totally can't loose."
{Click! Whrrrrrrr... Click! Whrrrrrrr... Click! Whrrrrrrr...}
"HA!" Kitty's triumphant shout startled Kurt awake. "Like, totally
caught in the act! You two are like, *completely* busted!"
"...mmnh?" he said. "Vas? What are you talking about?"
Kitty was a vision of victory in pink flannel bunny-print jammies. She
still had bed-hair.
Kurt thought she was still the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen.
"What?" said Jean. "You thought your girlfriend would sneak back to
the slumber party, afterwards?"
_What the--?_ Kurt chased the sleep from his eyes. "I don't have a--"
he bumped the still unconscious form of Katja. _*OH*..._ He shook her.
"Liebe. Atchung..."
"Mmm? Vas ist der Stoff?" Katja chased the hair out of her eyes and
took in the scene. She switched to Romani. "[Do they still think we're--]"
"[Yep.]"
In spite of herself, she giggled. "[Oh dear.]"
Logan appeared out of nowhere, took in the scene, and growled. {Snikt}
"There'd better be a good explanation for this."
Katja was laughing her heart out.
Kurt sighed. "Before you leap to any conclusions, Herr Logan, allow me
to show you something."
"It better not be a rubber," he growled.
"IknewitIknewitIknewit!" Kitty squealed. "They *were* like, totally
sleeping together!"
"It's nothing new," said Katja, her 'new-to-English' act vanished like
morning mist. "Kurti and I have been sharing beds since I was two."
Kurt found his camera and took a shot of their faces before he found
what he was looking for. "We shared *everything*," said Kurt, flipping
pages. He offered the book to Logan. "See? There's Katja and I sharing a
bathtub with meine other two schwesters."
"You swore you'd burn that one," said Katja. She emerged from the bed,
fully clothed, and proceeded to borrow one of Opa's brushes with all the
aplomb of someone who had every right to do so.
Kitty still hadn't shut her mouth.
"*Other* two?" said Jean, a little shell-shocked. She peeked into the
album. "Aaaaaaawww... Weren't you *cute*?"
Logan was snickering. "Half-pint," he said, "Meet Katja *Wagner*. The
Elf's *sister*."
"Flockig-blau and I go *way* back," she said and showed her crossed
fingers. "We're like *this*."
Kitty was still staring at her. "You mean - you and he--? You mean you
aren't--?" she still hadn't quite grasp the situation. "Then *why* did
you like, sneak into his *room*?"
"He's *warm*, Katzchen," she said. "I was cold."
"She's a living ice cube," said Kurt. "Katja could give *Bobby* a run
for his money."
Kitty went from zero to appreciable rage in the space of a few
seconds, and Kurt spent valuable head start time admiring the wonderful
shade of pink her face went.
"Aaaawwwwww..." said Jean, looking at more photos. "They're using him
like a pillow..."
Kitty launched herself at Kurt and shrieked,
"*DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*!" at the top of
her lungs.
"Herr Flockig, you have *such* a way with the ladies," cooed Katja.
"Admirable form, Katzchen, but you need a better grip on that pillow."
"(Oof!) Schwesters..." said Kurt, barely fending Kitty off with his
own pillow. "Absolutely (oof!) no help at (*ow*!) all..."
_Dear Diary,_ Kitty wrote, _I hate him! I hate her! I *hate* him! I
*hate* her! I hate *him*! I *HATE* HIM!_ She underlined that a few dozen
times. _All this time, they were like, playing this stupid joke on me.
Making me think they were like, lovers._
_I am such a dope. I fell for it, too._
[Just in case you missed it, the winner is _There's This Girl_. I won't
divulge the plot (such as it is) here, lest I spoil ya. Enjoy the fun :)
This is set between season one and two, just FYI]
_Dear Diary,_ Kitty wrote. _You are like, totally not going to believe
this! All this time, that two-faced, two-timing, lying, cheating, fuzzy,
blue *RAT*--_ She underlined that last word a few more times. _--had a
girl at home. I like, just found out today. Like, at afternoon
assembly..._
Kitty yawned. Same old, same old. Same old assembly. Same old hard
seats. Same old Kurt, constantly flirting with her. Same old boredom.
Same old stupid *wait* for the people who'd *called* the assembly to get
their buttocks into gear. It wasn't as if they like, didn't know when it
was *on*...
Even Kurt had fallen into a bored torpor by the time Principal
Darkholme turned up with another kid in tow.
_Huh. New student. Like, big whoop._ Kitty yawned again. _Wonder if
it's a Mutie?_
She didn't look anything special. Paleish skin. Dark, red-brown hair.
Slightly shy demeanor. Ordinary taste in clothes. But then, Kitty, in
her humble opinion, didn't look anything special either.
"Students, I'd like you to welcome our new exchange student. She's
from Heirelgart, Germany, and she may need a little help with her
English at first."
Beside her, Kurt jolted as if hit with an electric shock.
"I expect all of you to be *helpful* towards her. She's a long way
from home. Her name is Katja--"
"*LIEBCHEN*!" Kurt crowed, already running down to the girl. He
practically bowled her over in the exhuberant hug he gave her.
_I mean they were like, practically having *SEX* right there in front
of like, Principal Darkholme and *everyone*. I have never in my *life*
seen two people like, *hug* that much._
_It was like, disgusting! And all the time he was here, he was like,
coming on to *me*! I am like, *so* totally lucky I like, saw him coming
and like, rejected him at every turn._
_She's like, a whole year younger than me! Isn't that like, *gross*?
She's like, *Fourteen*. Ew!_ Kitty underlined that a few dozen times,
too. _Talk about like, green apples, if you know what I like, mean.
*EW*! I can't even like, *think* of those two kissing and junk. It's
like, completely disgusting._
_I mean, they were like, all *over* each other like a bad rash. He was
like, Katja this, Katja that; Katja the next answer to freakin' Jesus,
Mary and *Joseph* if you asked *him*. I mean, *EEEEEWWWWW*!_ Kitty
underlined that word so often that it took up the next line. _Like, why
don't they just like, rent a *room*?_
Kitty sighed, glad to get that much off her chest, and picked up the
'phone so she could complain to Lance some more.
But someone was already on.
"...und *dann* alle diese Frosche hop heraus! Sie konnten screaming
fur horen *Meilen*!" said the first voice. Kitty recognised it as
Kurt's.
"Und jemand anderes war, ja verantwortlich?" said the female on the
other end who *had* to be Katja.
"Von *Kurs* jemand anderes war verantwortlich! Ich verbreite nie meine
*besitzen* Geheimnisse..." Kurt laughed.
"*Hello*," Kitty yelled down the 'phone. "Some other people might like
to communicate - this *decade*!"
"Ach, horen auf sie! Sie wurden denken sie besassen das Telefon..."
"Ja, ist sie wie die." Kurt switched gears and started speaking
English. "Katzchen, at least give us a few minutes to sign off, okay? We
haven't seen each other in a while, you know."
"*RRRRR*!" Kitty slammed the 'phone down and went back to her diary.
_I can't believe it!_ She wrote. _They're like, totally monopolising
like, *my* 'phone time. I like, hung up before they could like, start
*Frenching* each other down the 'phone._
_*EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW*!!!!_
_I can *not* believe I like, keep thinking of junk like that. *EW*! I
mean like, who'd *want* him, anyway? The guy's like, the nearest thing
to a like, wookie or something._
_Maybe a muppet._
Kitty snickered at that last line. Yeah. Kurt Wagner. Walking
*Muppet*. He could like, get work on Sesame Street or something. Serve
him right for being such a two-timing little male *slut*.
"Sounds like someone is *jealous*..." Katja cooed in German. "Should
we be merciful to her and tell her about us?"
"No..." said Kurt. "Let her stew for a while. It'll be good for her
soul, I should think."
"Good for her blood pressure, you mean."
Kurt laughed. "Oh, you know me. I'm *always* good for blood pressure."
"So I keep hearing."
Kitty interrupted again in English. "GET OFF THE 'PHONE!"
Both of them laughed at her before they said their goodbyes. Katja was
still laughing when she hung up, facing her exchange-home and all the
boringly normal things it represented. Explaining the joke to the
equally boringly normal Smiths would take too long and be way too
confusing.
Kurt's little sweetheart was certainly a firebrand. Of course, she'd
be even more so once she was lead to believe that she and Kurt were
something *other* than brother and sister.
From the looks of her face, yesterday, kleine Katzchen was pretty much
past halfway there already.
Maybe getting good and jealous would wake her up to herself.
_Dear Diary,_ Kitty wrote. _I can *not* believe it! Kurt's made
himself like, Katja's buddy-boy. He's like, showing her around Bayville!
It's like he's suddenly lost what little brains he ever like, *had* and
like, completely forgotten about the whole hologram thing._
_We are like, *so* totally lucky she's like *dense* or something and
doesn't like, notice his fur. I mean, how stupid do you have to be about
that? He's like, so totally soft and gorgeous._
_To touch, I mean. Not that I've done that a lot, you know. It's kinda
like, weird, you know? You don't like, expect a coat of fur on someone.
Kurt's like, *totally* covered, from what I hear; and he's like *blue*.
I mean, it's like, really unnatural. But at the same time you like, want
to find out what he like, feels like._
_He's soft, like velvet made out of silk or something. It's like, *so*
totally startling, you know? Every time I feel it I have to jump._
_I mean, sure, it's like, a little bit gross. I mean - *body* hair!
Ew! But at the same time, he's like, *so* adorable. You just want to
keep feeling it. Touching it..._
Kitty looked at the words on the page. "Like, too much information,
Pryde."
_Not that I like, *do* or anything. I mean - body hair! Like, *gross*.
I only like, touched his face and his hands? For all I know, he's like,
coarse or something all over the rest of him. Ew._
_And that *tail*. I mean - *EW*! Major league. He like, handles stuff
with it and it's like, part of his butt? Talk about like, unhygenic. So
what if it's prehensile? Anything below the waistline should like, stay
under cover in *my* humble opinion._
Kitty giggled. _I just had this like, crazy idea of like, a third
pant's leg for Kurt's tail. Like, totally strange. But then, like, so's
Kurt, you know? Maybe I could like, come up with a bunch of tail
fashions or something. Get that thing covered up and out of sight._
_Then again, I don't even like, want to *know* about his lying, fuzzy,
blue butt right now._
_He and his precious little Katja like, went *out* together. Like, on
a *date*. Like, arm in arm._
_They even like, walk in step! It's like - *EEEWWWWW*!! I mean, he is
like *so* going to be like, totally *down* when she like, sees what he's
*really* like and like, runs screaming. I *so* totally want to be there
when it happens._
_I can like, see it now. She'll be like, *way* scared and we'll like,
*NEVER* see her again, and Kurt'll be all like, depressed and junk. And
then, when he's like, over it, everything will be like, back the way
it's like, *supposed* to be? You know, with him like, being nice to me
and everything?_
_Not that I like, *like* him being in my face 24/7. I mean - he's
gross! He like, eats like a *horse* and like, makes these like, *gross*
sandwiches. It's like someone showed him a PBJ and a BLT and he like,
decided to like, *mix* the two. *EEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWW*!!!_
_And the *way* he like, eats them. You'd like, think he was like,
starving or something. I mean, he like, eats his own weight at each
*meal* or something like that. He shouldn't like, *starve* or anything.
He's just like, *so* *GROSS*..._
_...he hasn't been eating here much, since *Katja* came._
_He's like, always going somewhere with her. They're like, joined at
the hip or something._
_I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I *hate* him!!!!!_
Kitty threw her diary across the room. Stupid Katja. She didn't even
know her last name, but she *knew* she was stupid.
Katja was fourteen. *Fourteen*!. A whole year younger and already a
size bigger than Kitty. Huge! It was amazing she didn't vanish under
rolls of fat or something.
Then again, maybe Kurt had a thing for big girls.
_EW!_ Kitty made a face. It was *way* more likely that Katja was
putting out. The little slut.
"I hate you, Katja," she whispered, setting up a pillow. "This is you.
And I hate," hit, "hate," hit, "hate," hit, "hate," hit, "hate," hit,
"hate," hit, "hate," hit, "hate," hit, "hate," hit, "hate," hit, "hate,"
hit, "*HATE* you! You stupid fat *cow*!" Punch, punch, pummel, hit, hit,
hit, *thump*.
"I'm thinking this may be a bad time to ask if you've seen my novel?"
said Kurt. He was standing in the doorway and looking slightly horrified
at the sight of her punching the heck out of her pillow.
Kitty went beetroot red slightly before she fell right through the
floor. She landed right in Scott's lap, interrupting something between
him and Jean. Mortified beyond belief, Kitty fled at warp speed.
It was all stupid Katja's fault!
_Dear Diary,_ Kitty wrote. _THE ELF MUST *DIE*!!!!!_
_ I mean, he and stupid fat Katja are like, *ALWAYS* together. He's
supposed to be like, helping her with her English (which *SUCKS*!) but
instead they like, spend all their time like, chatting in German
together. It's like he wants her to fail or something._
_*Jean* has to be all nice to her and junk. I hate her! I hate them
both! I mean, *everyone* is like, totally sucking up to her and being
all like, "Any friend of Kurt's..." and like *totally* taking her side
all the time._
_And get this - she's two-timing *Kurt*! Every time she like, sees a
guy who's like, halfway decent? She like, *has* to flirt with him._
_At least they've got something in common._
_But she like, has *NO* taste. I mean, I caught her flirting with
*Pietro*, of all people..._
"Gooooooood afternoon, lovely lady," a voice carolled.
Katja turned to face a whip-thin albino boy wearing impeccable clothes
and a grin fit to split his face. She knew him by reputation, but
pretended ignorance of his existance. "And you are?"
"Pietro Maximov, at your service," he bowed. "And what *I'd* like to
know is why you're wasting your time with fu-- er. With Wagner when you
could be having the time of your life with *anyone* else in this entire
school."
Katja smiled. It was hard not to. "Ah, but I know not *anyone* else in
this school as well as I know Kurt." Always a good defence.
"That's why you gotta branch out. Make new friends. Otherwise you'll
be stuck with that loser for the rest of your life."
Now, a grin. "How do you not know I am not already -er- 'stuck', as
you say, with him?"
Pietro's face fell. "Please tell me you're not together."
Katja crossed her fingers and showed them to him. "We are like this."
She closed her locker door, and there was Kurt, looking all -
protective.
"Is this --" pause, sneer, "--gentleman - bothering you, Schatz?"
"Nein, not much." Inwardly, she sighed. Any male that turned up on her
prospective-husband radar - and quite a few that didn't - had to run the
gauntlet of her brother, her father, her uncles, and cousins. As well as
a few other males, like Kurt's Centaur friend, Andrei, who just adopted
her. "I was just telling him how close you and I are."
Kurt switched smoothly into their local dialect. "[Not *too* much, I
hope.]"
Ah, yes. The little joke on Kleine Katzchen. Katja spotted the lady
herself across the hall, pretending to look for something in her locker.
She'd been 'looking' for the past five minutes with increasing antipathy
towards Katja.
"[No, not too much. I know the trick we're playing on your little
Kitten can't afford anyone knowing about our *real* relationship.]"
Kurt chuckled. "[Oh dear. When should we tell her, do you think?]" He,
too, had spotted Kitty and took Katja up in a hug.
"[Sometime after the slumber party at that Institute of yours, yes?
It'll make things easier on your mutant friends, too.]"
"[There's a slumber party? *How*?]"
Katja grinned. "[Oh, *all* us ladies can communicate telepathically.
Didn't you know that?]"
"[Ha! You arrange things while you take trips to the privy.]"
"[Well, yeah. That too.]" Katja smirked as Kitty gave up 'looking' in
her locker and stormed off to her next class. "[Everyone's invited,
though I think your kitten may be having a headache.]"
"[Cruel, cruel, love. How did I get to have you for a sister?]"
"[You see, when two people love each other *very* much...]"
Kurt laughed.
_...it wouldn't surprise me at all if they were like, *sleeping*
together. Though it *would* be like, totally disgusting._
Kitty stared at her own words. Would it *really* be that disgusting to
hold Kurt close? Even if his fur *was* a little coarse. Not that she
really knew.
She bet *Katja* knew. Stupid, size twelve Katja with her stupid,
perfect olive skin and her stupid, nearly-auburn hair that looked
*perfect* and fell in soft curls that Kitty would have been glad to die
for. Stupid, perfect her!
No wonder Kurt loved her. She was everything Kitty wasn't. Hell, she
probably even knew how to follow a recipe without having it turn out -
well - *yuck*.
Stupid Katja! Who like, made friends so totally easily and was coming
over tonight for movies an popcorn and makeup and giggling and trying on
each other's stuff and - Kitty had no doubt about this - looking
*fabulous* in everything.
Kitty sighed. She was such a total dweeb and she knew it. Even if she
was given like, a complete makeover and a new look; Kitty would still be
a dweeb.
A skinny little dweeb in a new look and makeup.
She cried into her pillow, mostly beause she couldn't really stay mad
at Katja.
She was like, so totally *nice*...
"There you are, Katzchen," Katja was hanging on the doorframe and
smiling at her. "Everyone is in the theatre, camping. Are you coming
down?"
_My head hurts._
The guys were sequestered to another area of the mansion, where they
played death-matches on the console until Logan hussled them all off to
bed.
The girls, on the other hand, camped in the theatre and watched chick
flicks whilst gorging themselves on popcorn, candy and pizza. The
makeovers mostly made them laugh, especially Kitty's 'Goth Look' versus
Rogue's 'Prep'.
They played 'truth or dare' amid much squealing and giggling, they
rated hunks, ate *far* too much pizza, and stayed up until the wee small
hours of the morning.
Kitty woke up first, or so she thought, until she realised Katja's
sleeping bag was also empty. Yawning, she shuffled into the kitchen to
see if the young German girl was there.
No sign of any teenager passing since they went to sleep.
Kitty scrubbed her eyes and headed towards the nearest toilet, which
was upstairs.
Kurt's door, first in the hall, was ajar.
He may not have been *born* in a tent, but he certainly acted like it,
sometimes.
"Silly Elf," Kitty mumbled. She reached for the door, intending to
close it properly, but she stopped to kind of stare at him.
His tail had fallen loose of the covers, and twitched against the
thick pile. His arm draped over a second form in his bed.
_That little *bitch*!_ Kitty raced downstairs, phasing lest she make
any noise, and bolted for the theatre. "*Jean*!" She hissed. "Wake up! I
like, totally need one of your cameras. *NOW*."
"Wstfgl?" Jean bleared into wakefulness. "Whutizit? Someone drooling?"
"No, it's like better. Worse. I don't know. Guess where *Katja* is?"
Jean yawned. "If this isn't a dream, I'm gonna kill you, Pryde... It's--"
she checked her watch, "--too early."
"Katja went and snuck into Kurt's bedroom," Kitty whispered. "They
like, totally slept together."
"*WHAT*?!" *That* woke her up.
"Mrf?"
"Wfl?"
"Shutupyouguys, I'mtryin'tosleep..."
"If it ain't noon, you're doomed."
...as well as a few others.
"She's still there, like, *in* Kurt's bed. They like, *totally* slept
together, I *know* it. That's why I like, need your camera."
"Camera?" Jean echoed. "I don't quite get this..."
"Like, *duh*... *Evidence*? Blackmail? Ringing any bells, yet?"
Rogue stirred from her cocoon to say, "If you keep talkin' so loud,
I'll shove all of your bells where the sun don't shine."
Jean stumbled into a semblance of cogniscance. "Okay, okay, okay," she
murmured. "It's not as if Logan isn't going to skin them both, anyway."
"So what? I wanna like, treasure the moment, okay?"
"Mmmmmrrrrgh..." said Jean.
"Come *on*," Kitty hissed, holding her arm. "You fly, I phase. We
like, totally can't loose."
{Click! Whrrrrrrr... Click! Whrrrrrrr... Click! Whrrrrrrr...}
"HA!" Kitty's triumphant shout startled Kurt awake. "Like, totally
caught in the act! You two are like, *completely* busted!"
"...mmnh?" he said. "Vas? What are you talking about?"
Kitty was a vision of victory in pink flannel bunny-print jammies. She
still had bed-hair.
Kurt thought she was still the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen.
"What?" said Jean. "You thought your girlfriend would sneak back to
the slumber party, afterwards?"
_What the--?_ Kurt chased the sleep from his eyes. "I don't have a--"
he bumped the still unconscious form of Katja. _*OH*..._ He shook her.
"Liebe. Atchung..."
"Mmm? Vas ist der Stoff?" Katja chased the hair out of her eyes and
took in the scene. She switched to Romani. "[Do they still think we're--]"
"[Yep.]"
In spite of herself, she giggled. "[Oh dear.]"
Logan appeared out of nowhere, took in the scene, and growled. {Snikt}
"There'd better be a good explanation for this."
Katja was laughing her heart out.
Kurt sighed. "Before you leap to any conclusions, Herr Logan, allow me
to show you something."
"It better not be a rubber," he growled.
"IknewitIknewitIknewit!" Kitty squealed. "They *were* like, totally
sleeping together!"
"It's nothing new," said Katja, her 'new-to-English' act vanished like
morning mist. "Kurti and I have been sharing beds since I was two."
Kurt found his camera and took a shot of their faces before he found
what he was looking for. "We shared *everything*," said Kurt, flipping
pages. He offered the book to Logan. "See? There's Katja and I sharing a
bathtub with meine other two schwesters."
"You swore you'd burn that one," said Katja. She emerged from the bed,
fully clothed, and proceeded to borrow one of Opa's brushes with all the
aplomb of someone who had every right to do so.
Kitty still hadn't shut her mouth.
"*Other* two?" said Jean, a little shell-shocked. She peeked into the
album. "Aaaaaaawww... Weren't you *cute*?"
Logan was snickering. "Half-pint," he said, "Meet Katja *Wagner*. The
Elf's *sister*."
"Flockig-blau and I go *way* back," she said and showed her crossed
fingers. "We're like *this*."
Kitty was still staring at her. "You mean - you and he--? You mean you
aren't--?" she still hadn't quite grasp the situation. "Then *why* did
you like, sneak into his *room*?"
"He's *warm*, Katzchen," she said. "I was cold."
"She's a living ice cube," said Kurt. "Katja could give *Bobby* a run
for his money."
Kitty went from zero to appreciable rage in the space of a few
seconds, and Kurt spent valuable head start time admiring the wonderful
shade of pink her face went.
"Aaaawwwwww..." said Jean, looking at more photos. "They're using him
like a pillow..."
Kitty launched herself at Kurt and shrieked,
"*DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*!" at the top of
her lungs.
"Herr Flockig, you have *such* a way with the ladies," cooed Katja.
"Admirable form, Katzchen, but you need a better grip on that pillow."
"(Oof!) Schwesters..." said Kurt, barely fending Kitty off with his
own pillow. "Absolutely (oof!) no help at (*ow*!) all..."
_Dear Diary,_ Kitty wrote, _I hate him! I hate her! I *hate* him! I
*hate* her! I hate *him*! I *HATE* HIM!_ She underlined that a few dozen
times. _All this time, they were like, playing this stupid joke on me.
Making me think they were like, lovers._
_I am such a dope. I fell for it, too._