Thanks for the reviews! Here's Act II; Hope you like it. I rather think it's crazier than Act I.
Act II, Scene I
Narrator: As we rejoin our heroes, a few hours have past. It is now late evening. Spock has been playing (and winning) at poker, much to McCoy's delight. Word has spread about Spock, and more and more people are coming to try their luck against him. Meanwhile, Kirk has hit on another eight girls, handing each one the line about the moonlight. And now, back at the poker table…
[Spock now has piles of chips reaching higher than his head. McCoy is ecstatic, watching the whole thing with—pardon the word—fascination. The dealer is still fearing for his job. Excitement has built a great deal around the table, and play is brisk, though the showgirls are getting bored with Spock, since he completely ignores their advances. Through the window, one can just see the full moon rising above the treetops. Suddenly, Kirk appears on the scene. He spots Spock and McCoy at the poker tables, and dashes over to McCoy.]
Kirk: [frantic] Bones! You gotta help me!
McCoy: [intent on game] Not now, Jim. Spock's about to call.
Kirk: [frantic] But Bones! You don't understand! [dramatic] The moon has risen!
McCoy: [staring at him] And… [snaps fingers] I've got it! You're actually a werewolf and you've been hiding it all these years!
Kirk: Yes! [stops to register what McCoy said] Wait. No!
McCoy: [agreeable] I suppose it would have shown on your medical records.
Kirk: [thoughtful] Yeah, I suppose, although if- wait a minute. [frantic again] Why are we talking about werewolves, when the moon has risen!
McCoy: That's the only time anyone talks about werewolves. They aren't interesting the rest of the month, since-
Kirk: Forget the werewolves! I'm in trouble!
McCoy: [resigned] All right. What'd you do now?
Kirk: You know the line I give the girls? About the full moon, and the starry sky, and how they-
McCoy: -must look beautiful in the moonlight? [sarcastic] Yeah, I might have heard that a time or two.
Kirk: [winces] Okay, so maybe I overuse it. But the point is, I used it on a dozen different girls tonight. And now the moon has risen!
McCoy: So…
Kirk: Now all twelve girls think they have a date with me! When the moon rises! And the moon has risen! So all twelve girls are out in this big garden they've got on the roof waiting for me, and none of them knows about the others! And believe me, it won't be pretty if they find out!
McCoy: Hmm. That does sound problematic. What are you going to do?
Kirk: [frantic] I don't know!
McCoy: [considering] Well, you could try dating all twelve at once. You know, keep moving from one to another, and keep each girl in the dark about all the others. I've heard of it being done with two or three.
Kirk: Yeah, but with twelve?
McCoy: [shrugs] What else are you going to do? Besides, it can't be that hard.
Kirk: [thinking] Yeah. Yeah, okay. Okay, I'll try it.
McCoy: You do that, Jim. Now excuse me, they just dealt another hand. [returns attention to the game]
Act II, Scene II
[Kirk is sitting on a park bench with Beautiful showgirl 1. Tall hedges and trees surround the area.]
Beautiful showgirl 1: So…tell me more about those…fierce tribbles.
Kirk: [nervous] Ah, tribbles, right, ah well, I was, uh, about to take a risk! Yeah that's it! Because, you know, risks are our business. Why, when man first looked at the stars- [jumps up abruptly] Say, does it seem kind of hot to you? Well, I think I'll go get us something to drink.
Beautiful showgirl 1: [confused] What?
Kirk: Be right back. [disappears between the hedges]
Narrator: Scant moments later…
[Another Beautiful Girl is sitting on another park bench. Kirk comes rushing up.]
Another Beautiful Girl: [delighted] Captain! There you are! I was beginning to wonder.
Kirk: Oh, well, I was being… [searching for excuse] fashionably late! Yeah, that's it! Fashionably late.
Another Beautiful Girl: Do you do that often?
Kirk: [blankly] Do what?
Another Beautiful Girl: Be fashionably late.
Kirk: Oh. Yes, actually, uh…all the time. Which can occasionally be risky.
Another Beautiful Girl: [puzzled] It can?
Kirk: Oh, sure, you wouldn't believe it. But of course, risks are our business. When man first looked at the stars- [looking up] Say, you know, you can't really see the stars tonight.
Another Beautiful Girl: [puzzled] Yes you can.
Kirk: I don't know, it looks like rain.
Another Beautiful Girl: [really puzzled] There isn't a cloud in the sky.
Kirk: Well, yeah. But it looks like rain. I'll go get us an umbrella. [dashes off]
Act II, Scene III
Narrator: Back at the poker tables, Spock is continuing to rake chips in. McCoy is delighted. Spock is calm. As we join them, another man is arriving who is, shall we see, a bit less than delighted.
[An expressionless man in a black suit approaches Spock, and taps him on the shoulder.]
E. Man: Excuse me, sir, are you Spock?
Spock: I am. And you would be?
E. Man: [raising voice; to crowd in general] This game will be closing down for the moment. Please, enjoy yourselves at our other attractions.
[The crowd, though disappointed, begins to disperse.]
McCoy: [outraged] Hey! You can't do that!
E. Man: I work for the management, sir. Yes, I can.
Unidentified Poker Player: [to McCoy] Relax, man. They always do this when someone starts to win too much off of 'em.
McCoy: Oh. [muttering] Crooks.
E. Man: Mr. Spock, if you would please come with me. The owner would like to speak with you.
Spock: [stands up] Very well.
McCoy: He's not going anywhere without me. Half of those winnings are mine.
E. Man: You are his accomplice, then?
McCoy: [confused] Accomplice? Um, well, I guess so. I mean…yeah, I am. Sure. Why not?
E. Man: In that case, the owner will be wishing to speak with you as well. Please, come with me.
Act II, Scene IV
Narrator: Roughly ten minutes from when we last saw Captain Kirk, he has made his way back around to Beautiful showgirl 1. She is less than pleased.
[Kirk races out from between the bushes and sits down next to Beautiful showgirl 1.]
Kirk: [panting] Well…beautiful night…isn't it?
Beautiful showgirl 1: [less than pleased] Where have you been? You've been gone over ten minutes!
Kirk: [vaguely] Gee, has it been that long…
Beautiful showgirl 1: And I thought you were going to get drinks?!
Kirk: [snaps fingers] Drinks! That's right! [jumps up] I'll go get some! [hurries off; muttering to himself] Faster! Must move faster!
Beautiful showgirl 1: [calling after him] Wait! I didn't want drinks [trails off] anyway… [suspicious] Hmm.
[Kirk comes rushing up to Another Beautiful Girl, and sits down by her.]
Kirk: Where was I? Oh, yes! When I was fighting hand-to-hand combat with ten Klingons! It was risky, but risks are our business! When man first looked at the stars-
Another Beautiful Girl: Okay, first off, you were talking about Romulan warships, not Klingons, and second, where do you keep running off to?!
Kirk: [worn out; mutters] Wouldn't you like to know!
Another Beautiful Girl: Yes, I would like to know!
Kirk: About Romulan warships? I'll go do some research! [runs off again]
Another Beautiful Girl: [exasperated] That's not what I meant!
Act II, Scene V
[In the office of the casino's owner, Spock and McCoy are sitting before the Owner's desk. The Owner is sitting at the desk in large red armchair. E. Man and Dealer are both present.]
Owner: [coolly] Now, the way I hear it, you two have been making a fortune at my poker tables. How?
Spock: As I understand the game, it is a simple matter of having a higher hand than one's opponent, or else leading your opponent to believe that you have a higher hand—
Owner: I meant, how are ye cheating? Nobody wins like this, not at my poker tables, not unless I want 'em too. I want to know what you two have going here.
McCoy: [outraged] Are you accusing us of cheating?!
Owner: [As though it's very obvious] Yes. I thought I was quite clear on that.
McCoy: [outraged] Do you have any idea who we are?
[Owner snaps fingers. E. Man hands him a PADD.]
Owner: [reading] Name: Leonard H. McCoy, also called "Bones." Place of Birth: Georgia, North America, Earth, Federation. Graduate of Starfleet Medical. Profession: Starfleet, Medical Branch. Rank: Lt. Commander. Present Posting: Chief Medical Officer aboard the Starship Enterprise NCC-1701, under Kirk, James T., Captain. Next of kin: Daughter, Joanna; place of residence: San Francisco, North America, Earth, Federation. Name: Spock…other name I can't pronounce. Place of Birth: Planet Vulcan, Federation. Graduate of Starfleet Academy. Profession: Starfleet. Rank: Commander. Present Posting: First Officer/Science Officer aboard the Starship Enterprise NCC-1701, under Kirk, James T., Captain. Next of kin: Parents, Ambassador Sarek…name I can't pronounce, Amanda Grayson; place of residence: Planet Vulcan, Federation. [looks up; to McCoy] You were saying?
McCoy: [swallows hard] Never mind.
Spock: Impressive.
Owner: Now. How are you cheating?
Spock: I assure you, no cheating is involved. I simply have an excellent "poker face." It would be a disgrace if I had such lack of control as to show emotion over such a small thing as a poker game.
McCoy: Don't you know anything about Vulcans?
Owner: Vulcans aren't known for their gambling. The last one in here took one look around, declared the whole thing illogical, and left.
Spock:
[thoughtful] Clearly, his logic was flawed in some way. It is only illogical if you do not believe
yourself to have an advantage.
[A non-descript employee comes in, hands another PADD to Owner, and exits. Owner reads it, frowning.]
Owner: [looking up from PADD] Hrumph. It seems our instruments for detecting high tech cheating devices have picked up…nothing. With no proof, I'll have to take your word for it that you're honest and let you go.
McCoy: What do you know? Maybe a man's word is worth something.
Owner: Yeah, yeah. [to E. Man] Give 'em their chips and send them on their way. [to McCoy and Spock] But do me a favor would you, and stay away from the poker tables?
McCoy: No problem. We'll try a different game.
Act II, Scene VI
[Kirk comes running up, and sits down next to Yet another beautiful girl.]
Kirk: What was I saying? Oh yes! Risks are our business! When man first looked at the stars-
Yet another beautiful girl: [angry] What is going on? You disappear for five or ten minutes, show up for half a minute, and then disappear again!
Kirk: [vaguely] Oh well, I've had some business to tend to… In fact, I better go do some more tending. [jumps up] Be right back.
Yet another beautiful girl: [watching him go] Something is definitely up here. And I don't think I'm going to like it.
[Kirk runs up to Another showgirl.]
Kirk: So…I was saying, about the starry sky…the beautiful moon-
Another showgirl: [angry] Don't talk to me about the moon. The moon got me out here, to sit all by myself!
Kirk: By yourself? I'm here!
Another showgirl: Only for the moment. Forget it. I don't even want to look at the moon let alone talk-
Kirk: [jumps up] Is the moon bothering you? I'll go get some sunglasses!
[Kirk rushes off again. Another showgirl looks disgusted.]
Act II, Scene VII
[McCoy and Spock are back out on the floor of the casino. McCoy is looking around in search of another game to try. Spock is carrying a bag containing their chips (a very sizeable amount).]
McCoy: [rubbing hands in anticipation] So, what game should we try next? Black Jack? Canastas? Hearts?
Spock: Actually, I would like to try the slot machines. I noticed them near the poker tables.
McCoy: [face falls] Um, you know, Spock, I really don't think that's a good idea. I mean, there's no logic there. They're completely random, nobody's ever been able to predict—
Spock: I believe I can predict when they will hit the "Jackpot." As I said, they are near the poker tables. I was studying them during the game, and I believe I have determined a pattern.
McCoy: [muttering] The man makes a fortune at poker and finds a pattern in slot machines at the same time. [shakes head] Well, why not? What have we got to lose? Lead on.
Act II, Scene VIII
[Kirk comes running up to another girl sitting on a bench. He's thoroughly out of breath.]
Kirk: [panting] Sandy,…dear,…beautiful night…isn't it?
Girl: It's Cindy. And where have you been?
Kirk: Cindy! Lovely name! I'll go get it engraved on something.
Cindy: [confused] What?
Kirk: Be back in minute.
[Kirk dashes off. A moment later, he's running up to another girl.]
Kirk: Mindy!
Girl: Mandy.
Kirk: [panting] Mandy. Right. I knew that.
Mandy: [studying him] Do you feel okay? You look like you're having trouble breathing.
Kirk: You know, you're right. I'll go see a doctor. Excuse me. [races off]
Mandy: [calling after him] Wait a minute! [frowns]
[Kirk rushes up to a third girl.]
Kirk: Candy! How are you?
Girl: I'm fine, and it's Katie. Where have you been all evening?
Kirk: Oh, I was, uh, talking to a friend. In fact, I need to go have another word with him. Be back shortly.
[Kirk runs off again.]
Act II, Scene IX
[McCoy and Spock are standing in front of the slot machines. Spock is watching intently, and has been for several minutes. McCoy is growing impatient.]
McCoy: [irritable] Look, Spock, you said you wanted to play the slot machines. If we're just going to stand here all night—
Spock: [abruptly] Now.
McCoy: [confused] What?
Spock: [points to machine] That machine is due for a jackpot within the next three plays. Now is the time to make our move. Do you have a credit?
McCoy: [pulling out a credit] Uh, yeah. Listen are you sure about this…?
[Spock inserts credit. A moment passes. Credits start falling into the tray. More credits follow. Many more.]
Spock: I believe my theory was correct, Doctor.
[More credits are falling, overflowing onto the floor.]
McCoy: [dazed] Mr. Spock, have I ever told you you have a talent for understatement?
Act II, Scene X
[Kirk dashes between two bushes, looks wildly around, and spots a girl sitting on a bench. He dashes over to her.]
Kirk: Gertrude! What was I saying a moment ago? Oh yes! Your eyes are so… [searching for a word] blue!
Girl: [unfriendly] Do I know you?
Kirk: [blinks] Wait a minute. Wrong girl.
[Big burly guy comes up to them.]
BBG: Hey Alice, who's the creep?
Alice: I dunno, Tank. I was waiting for you and he just showed up all of a sudden and started talking about my eyes.
Kirk: [nervous] Tank…well, uh, I'm pleased to meet you…
Tank: [punching fist into palm of his hand] Don't be.
Kirk: [backing up as Tank approaches] It was just a slight mistake…
Tank: Yeah. A fatal one. Nobody messes with my girl.
Kirk: Now you—you don't want to do this. I'm warning you. I'm James T. Kirk, captain of the starship Enterprise. Klingons know me and fear me. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
A short time later:
[Kirk staggers out from between the bushes, with a black eye and looking much the worse for wear.]
Kirk: I guess he wasn't afraid. [looks out towards audience; defensive; to audience] Hey, it's not my fault the guy's a professional boxer! Earth champion. Second place for champ in the Federation.
[Kirk wanders off down the path. Around a turn, he encounters all twelve girls, standing together and looking very displeased. They all glare at him.]
Kirk: [backing up] Uh, ladies…
Beautiful showgirl 1: [frosty] We've been talking.
Kirk: Have you? Wonderful pastime, talking. I do it all the time, heh, heh…
Beautiful waitress: [equally frosty] Yes, we noticed.
[Beautiful showgirl 1 approaches Kirk.]
Beautiful showgirl 1: Like I said. We've been talking.
Kirk: Oh, well, I hope you had a nice chat…
Beautiful showgirl 1: [slaps Kirk] Cad! [storms off]
Kirk: [eyes other girls] Um, I can explain.
Beautiful waitress: [angrily] Don't bother! [slaps Kirk] You boor! [storms off also]
[Kirk looks pained.]
Narrator: For the sake of our star's ego and public image, we will be cutting back to Spock and McCoy now, and leaving the rest of this scene to our viewers' imaginations. Suffice it to say: they all slap him. Some are quite creative in what they call him. For instance—
Kirk: Hey, cut that out!
Narrator: Ahem. Moving on…
Act II, Scene XI
[Spock and McCoy have gathered all the credits, which McCoy is carrying in a bag. They are in search of what to do next.]
McCoy: [enthused] So, any other slot machines about to go to jackpot?
Spock: [calmly] Not for several hours. I do, however, have a theory regarding the roulette table—
McCoy: Whatever you say, Spock! Lead the way!
[They head for the roulette tables.]
Spock: Using the theory I've developed through observation—
McCoy: Uh, when exactly were you observing?
Spock: While waiting for the slot machines to reach the jackpot.
McCoy: [shrugs] Hey, why not?
Spock: As I was saying, I should be able to accurately predict which number will come up.
McCoy: And that number would be…
Spock: [watching the roulette tables] On the next spin, it should be number 22.
McCoy: Got it! Lucky number 22! [plunks the bag credits on the table] Come on Spock, put the chips up here too. [Spock does]
Spock: Doctor, I am not sure it is wise to risk everything on one spin. It certainly is not logical.
McCoy: [confident] Don't worry, Spock. I've got faith in you.
Spock: Worrying is illogical.
[Roulette attendant spins the wheel.]
RA: Number 23. This spin, number 23 is our winner. [rakes in all other chips, including Spock and McCoy's]
McCoy: [dazed] Twenty-three?
Spock: [calmly] It seems I miscalculated slightly.
McCoy: Miscalculated? Miscalculated?! [angrily] About that talent for understatement…
Act II, Scene XII
[A short time later, all three of our heroes beam back up to the Enterprise. None look especially delighted by their shore leave. McCoy still looks upset, though thoughtful. Kirk looks thoroughly miserable. Spock…well, Spock never looks especially delighted. There are two people in the transporter room to greet them: Lt. Kyle, at the controls, and, none other than Lt. Carol Collins, Kirk's girlfriend.[1] Upon seeing her, Kirk stops looking miserable, and starts looking petrified.]
Kirk: [nervous] Carol! Darling!
Carol: [angry] Don't "darling" me! I've been talking to some of the crewmembers who already beamed up. I hear you've been having a very busy evening!
Kirk: Now…now, Carol, can we talk about this?
Carol: No.
Kirk: [apologetic] I swear I didn't enjoy myself, if it's any consolation.
Carol: [exasperated] Why do I put up with you? You're always pulling stunts like this! Do you think I never talk to the yeomen on this ship?
Kirk: [thinking hard] Now, Carol, dear…you know I'm just…flirting! That's it! Everybody flirts! It doesn't mean anything. [smiles winningly] You know you're the only girl in this quadrant I could be at all serious about…
Carol: [considering; to McCoy] Should I be buying any of this?
McCoy: I'm staying out of this. I've had a rough enough evening as is.
Kirk: Perhaps we could discuss the matter further? [smiles winningly] Could I invite you to the Mess Hall? A table with a view maybe. A starry view port…a full glass of Romulan Ale…you look beautiful in artificial lighting…have I ever told you that?
Carol: [dryly] Several times. [considering] But…maybe we could at least discuss the matter…
Kirk: Certainly! We'll talk. I can explain the whole thing. Half the rumors…I mean, lies, spread about me aren't true. Have I mentioned how much I respect you, by the way?
Carol: [smiles] Keep talking. I might forgive you…eventually.
[Kirk and Carol walk down the corridor.]
Narrator: And that just about concludes our tale. If you're feeling sorry for our stars right now, please don't. After all, Kirk did bring it all onto himself. And as for Spock and McCoy…
[Spock and McCoy walk down the corridor, in the opposite direction. McCoy looks thoughtful.]
Spock: Doctor, I hope you are not still displeased with me. It could create friction in the work place.
McCoy: Displeased? Displeased? [breaks into goofy grin] I couldn't be more delighted! Do you know what happened tonight?
Spock: [as confused as Spock ever gets] We lost 1 million, 5—
McCoy: Right! Because you made a mistake! You yourself admitted it was a slight miscalculation!
Spock: Doctor, I am failing to follow your logic…
McCoy: I now have conclusive proof that Vulcans are capable of error. This is wonderful! I'm never going to let you forget this! This is better than a million credits!
THE END
So that's my story. Hope you liked it. I'll keep on the other ones. Hopefully they'll get posted faster than this one did. J
[1] Like it says, Carol is Kirk's girlfriend. She's an original character, in Starfleet, posted on the Enterprise, human, and alive. A very rare combination among Kirk's girlfriends.