The Almost Afterlife

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By Redwall-hare

DISCLAIMER: Redwall = Brian Jacques. Harry Potter = J.K. Rowling.

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A/N: I got the afterlife idea from this project I'm doing about the Egyptians…

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Buckbeak: Hi! Yo what's up?

Tipol: Nothin' much. Busy swallowing up my friends?

Buckbeak: *shuffles around* I was hungry!

Tipol: Hmmph! Give me back my friends!

Buckbeak: You'll have to go to the afterlife then.

Tipol: *glare* And where's that? To I have to get mummified or what?

Buckbeak: Yes.

Tipol: I was being sarcastic.

Buckbeak: Well I'm not kidding…

Tipol: *sigh* Ok, mummify me then.

Toads: *eyes glitter maliciously*

Tipol: Ehhh… can you do it? I don't trust these big blobs of green.

Buckbeak: Sure thing. Just enter this casket and I'll wrap you up in toilet paper.

Tipol: Oh yeah, and how'd you get to talk?

Buckbeak: This juice I drink. That's why the toads talk normal. They also drank it.

Tipol: Oooooh…

Buckbeak mummifies Tipol

Tipol: Woohoo.

Buckbeak: Don't talk – It'll crinkle the paper. Okie doke. So now you will go to the afterlife!

Tipol: May I have my last words?

Buckbeak: Yes.

Tipol: Oh Ra help me! Anyone? Osiris? ANYONE?

Buckbeak: Now I need to chant the ancient words. Afterlife! Ra!

Tipol: .

Buckbeak: I know you're rolling your eyes at me. But just wait a few seconds…