The next three weeks passed by I a whirlwind of happiness; we sang we
laughed, we conversed like old friends. There was no barrier of hesitation
between us now. In the evenings I still sat with my back against his chair,
head resting on his knee as he told me stories of his travels, I reveled in
the feeling of his tender hands curling in loosened hair as he spoke.
Sometimes I even volunteered a few favoutires I had heard from my father as
a child, seeing every detail of those worlds the stories created reflected
in the flickering firelight. When we both grew tired of talking, we lapsed
into a contented silence, listening to Ayesha purr quietly beside us. Then
Erik would rise and, taking my hand, gently lead me off to bed…
In my heart I knew that he was slowly growing weaker and though neither of us acknowledged the fact, we both realized that Erik did not have much time left. But we made use of every moment God allowed us, not daring to waste on precious second of our time together. In the end, knowing didn't make it any easier to bear, as I had so desperately hoped it would. When his time finally came, I was just as wretchedly heartbroken as I would have been had I had no warning. My last sight of my angel was of him lying peacefully in the very bed in which he had been born, surround by red roses; a strange pharaoh lying in state in his own grandly conceived pyramid.
I ran from that room crying, hysterical, and utterly inconsolable. I don't know what Nadir did with Erik's body and I've no desire to ever know. In my mind, he still exists somewhere, waiting for me to join him.
Raoul returned a few days after Erik's death; Nadir must have summoned him. Despite all that I had said and done to the poor man, he still wished to marry me and I accepted.What else could I do? Singing at the opera was out of the question now; no one would ever make me sing again. Raoul takes very good care of me, though. The time I spent with Erik is a subject that has not yet been raised in the two months since I came home with Raoul; I doubt that he is likely to bring it up, for fear of upsetting me. He never says anything, but I can tell by his eyes and the creases in his brow that he is worried. Perhaps he even suspects that I am mad. He has allowed me to keep Ayesha, however, even though he loathes the cat. She was Erik's, all I have left of him now. For a time, she wandered 'round our house, crying pitifully for her lost master, but now she has given up and contented herself with my care. She seems to realize that Erik will not be coming back for her and spends most of her time curled on my bed, asleep. Sometimes I watch her and whisper softly the words I had imagined her saying to me so long ago: "My dear, it's the only thing to do, you must know that you and I only exist in his presence." I am determined, though, not to live my life in total torpor; I know Erik would not want that. I owe it to myself – toRaoul! – to find a way out from under his shadow.
In my heart I knew that he was slowly growing weaker and though neither of us acknowledged the fact, we both realized that Erik did not have much time left. But we made use of every moment God allowed us, not daring to waste on precious second of our time together. In the end, knowing didn't make it any easier to bear, as I had so desperately hoped it would. When his time finally came, I was just as wretchedly heartbroken as I would have been had I had no warning. My last sight of my angel was of him lying peacefully in the very bed in which he had been born, surround by red roses; a strange pharaoh lying in state in his own grandly conceived pyramid.
I ran from that room crying, hysterical, and utterly inconsolable. I don't know what Nadir did with Erik's body and I've no desire to ever know. In my mind, he still exists somewhere, waiting for me to join him.
Raoul returned a few days after Erik's death; Nadir must have summoned him. Despite all that I had said and done to the poor man, he still wished to marry me and I accepted.What else could I do? Singing at the opera was out of the question now; no one would ever make me sing again. Raoul takes very good care of me, though. The time I spent with Erik is a subject that has not yet been raised in the two months since I came home with Raoul; I doubt that he is likely to bring it up, for fear of upsetting me. He never says anything, but I can tell by his eyes and the creases in his brow that he is worried. Perhaps he even suspects that I am mad. He has allowed me to keep Ayesha, however, even though he loathes the cat. She was Erik's, all I have left of him now. For a time, she wandered 'round our house, crying pitifully for her lost master, but now she has given up and contented herself with my care. She seems to realize that Erik will not be coming back for her and spends most of her time curled on my bed, asleep. Sometimes I watch her and whisper softly the words I had imagined her saying to me so long ago: "My dear, it's the only thing to do, you must know that you and I only exist in his presence." I am determined, though, not to live my life in total torpor; I know Erik would not want that. I owe it to myself – toRaoul! – to find a way out from under his shadow.