CHAPTER 7: Self Reflections
I have returned from the dead! …Well, I might as well have! I apologize to my loyal readers, I've not updated in such a long time. That's an understatement. You guys are great, reading my story. I promise to work on this one more! It will become my passion! I really wanna thank sia, I feel special that my story is in your favorites. ^-^ And all of you who reviewed and are being patient with me! Special thanks to you, Otaku Pitcher; you were there since the beginning! Thank you so much! …I sound like I just won an award, don't I? ^-^;;
-Ownership: None. GO READ ALREADY!
Evening was setting. The massive, golden orb began to dip below the horizon, sinking beneath the earth. Unfortunate that just as the stars began to blink into life, hordes of clouds began to blanket the skies, hiding the stars beneath its mask. The last bit of light was only the crescent moon, though now the sinister blanket surrounded it, and in moments the pale moonlight dispersed behind the clouds. A storm was definitely on its way.
Just as one infused within Yui's heart.
Sitting on her bed, Yui stared out the window as tiny droplets of icy rain pelted the glass, it gradually becoming stronger. How funny that the weather acts like that of a mood ring…it seems to change along with how she feels.
'Life is like a box of chocolates,' Yui mused in her mind, 'you never know what you'll get next. Or something like that.' She arose from her seat near her windowsill, reaching down on her bed to pick up her comb. Running its teeth through the tangled mass upon her crown, she winced as it pulled at her scalp from the force. Setting the comb back down, she rose to hear a knocking at her window.
'Who'd be out in this weather? Let alone my window?' she asked herself, tilting her head as she took one step forward. Realizing it could be a bandit she withdrew, hands fumbling along her dresser for something that could do some damage to the head, or something to protect her. Before she could get her hand on something, the knocking ceased, and instead was replaced with the creaking of the window. Yui gasped as she realized that her pursuer outside her window was trying to break in!
"He…help…" Yui choked out weakly, realizing her fear stole her voice away. It was too late. He'd already opened her window fully, and he stepped inside. Shadows danced over his face, concealing it in their ebony mask. Yui trembled violently, pressing herself against a wall and sliding down, her knees brought up to her chest. The man, at least she assumed he was a man, took a step toward her, shadows lifting somewhat, yet eyes still hidden by thick bangs falling before them.
'It's happening…it's going to happen again…I need help…someone help me…!' Yui cried out in her mind, eyes squeezing shut as the man neared her. Soon she felt hands resting on her shoulders, and tried to scream, but nothing came out. 'I don't want this…not again…please…' in her frantic thoughts, she heard his voice, and it was so familiar…
"Yui-sama! Yui-sama, please look at me!" Could it be? Yui opened her eyes slowly, and then they snapped open immediately. It was! Suboshi!
"Suboshi?! What are you doing here?!" Yui demanded, her cheeks burning with anger, and partial embarrassment. Suboshi opened his mouth to apologize, but remembered his resolution, and just stood up, ignoring her question.
"Yui-sa-…Yui, I think there's something you need to know about."
"Not until you answer my question!"
"…Ahem, that's what I AM doing, Yui…"
"Oh…" Yui's face darkened ten shades of red, and she stood up, crossing her arms and trying to hold onto what dignity she had left. "Proceed, then…"
"Yui, what I'm going to tell you will not please you, I'm afraid…" he paused, narrowing his eyes sternly at her. He noticed the hint of fear cross her features, but she hid it with an angry sneer, awaiting him to continue, "…Because, it's about Nakago." Yui jumped at the sound of his name, dropping her arms to her side.
"What about Nakago?"
"Yui…I don't know why, I really don't, but I know you're in love with him. And now you've been lead to believe that he shares your feelings," he started, wiping his bangs away from his face, "but, I regret to inform you…Yui, anything Nakago said or did…it was just a lie. A trick to make you- …" his words were cut short as a hand was whipped against his face, a burning sensation left on his cheek. Suboshi stood frozen, head turned slightly to one side from the impact being slapped by Yui. He didn't understand why, but he was surprised at her action.
"Liar…" just with that one word, Suboshi could feel himself cowering. He felt Yui's eyes, cold and challenging, staring at him. After a short silence, she repeated herself, "you are a liar…" Suboshi felt a rush of tears well up in his eyes, but he dared not shed them in front of her. He couldn't stand it, it hurt so badly…not only didn't she believe him, but her words…they were filled with such intense hatred.
"Yui…"
"Don't you dare speak another word, you bastard!" she growled, raising a hand threatening to strike again. "I know you're jealous of him, but how dare you lie to me!"
"Damn it Yui, you are so blind! Why don't you open your eyes for once?!" he retorted, regaining his lost confidence. Yui was taken aback, her eyes widened. "That's right, Yui…you've become selfish and blind. Blind with a cloud of revenge and hatred, that's why you love Nakago the way you do…you both crave blood. He's willing to shed the blood of the ones you claim to be your enemies, that's why you think he cares. He's easily manipulated you into believing taking their blood will show his supposed love. Oh, how wrong you are, Yui…how wrong you are…" his final words had such a horrifying tone that the hairs on Yui's neck stood on end.
"Suboshi-…"
"No, Yui…I tried, but you refuse to see the truth. I hope you find happiness in this cloudy world of blood and sorrow, for soon it will be the blood of someone you hold so dear that Nakago will shed…I guarantee it." With that, Suboshi turned away from her, leaping to the window and disappearing into the storm raging outside.
Yui stared off after him in horror, her mouth hanging open just slightly. Her knees buckled, and she collapsed against the foot of her bed, clutching tightly at the sheets. Thoughts swirled in her mind, and she came to a conclusion as she sat there: she was frightened. She'd never been so frightened about something so trivial before. If only…if only she'd had the time, and the courage, to tell him…
He was right.
Yui knew in her heart what her mind didn't want to admit. She realized how much it was tearing her apart, and she continued to allow it to. She was everywhere at once, and her mind was speaking for what seemed like many other people.
"Suboshi…" she called softly, watching the small puddle forming on the floor by the window. She wanted to cry, oh how she did…but, tears would never come. Her conceit would never allow it. The numbness leaving her legs, she stood and walked over to her window, sliding it closed. She shivered from the icy rainwater that splashed on her face and arms. Regardless of the pattering of water against the windowpane, Yui heard, and felt, nothing but silence. It was deafening.
'Why can't I bring myself to accept what I already know?' Yui asked herself, seating herself on the bed. 'I know Nakago has used me as much as the next person…I know what he cares about, and it's not me. He's hurt me in more ways than anyone could ever know, and I flip it all around into thinking he's making me happy!' she sighed deeply, falling back against the firm bed, and rolled onto her side.
'I just want to be loved…even if it's love for what I am, and not who I am…' she realized, closing her eyes to relieve the febrile feeling in her eyes. It was always just pain, like her eyes were ablaze, never to be cooled with the tears that so desperately wanted to fall.
'Suboshi is right about a great many things…not only about Nakago, but about me as well. I am blind. So blind, that even the truth I know I conceal with a veil of pride. I'm a brick wall, I will not crumble before my emotions I wish to live with, but with the ones I need to. If I don't love Nakago, I will never remain strong, or return home…that's all I want is home…no more of this stupid world. There is no one here worth staying for. Especially Miaka…' Yui jolted upright, staring at the ceiling.
"That's right Miaka…I know my wishes, and I will do everything in my power to make them come true. Suboshi, not even you can bring forth the truth to my eyes, the truth I know all too well. And Seiryuu, you will make my desires a reality…I will see the heart of Konan fall to a pit of despair, and burn in the hell that I have suffered in for months. This is my destiny, I will see it through to the bitter end." A cruel grin formed upon her lips, yet it was so frail. There was a clash of thunder, and she jumped in fright. A hand clutched to her breast, she laid back again, eyes staring off into nothing. She rolled over onto her side, and eventually onto her stomach, burying her face into the sheets. Laying there, her mind only drifted farther and farther away…
And she cried with dry tears.
(That, my friends, is chapter seven. I decided to make this one a little longer than the rest. Again, I sincerely apologize, I just wasn't in writing mode the past few months, but I'm getting back in the game now! Hope you enjoyed, I'll try to keep my chapters longer from now on! Now, to figure out how chapter eight will be…)
I have returned from the dead! …Well, I might as well have! I apologize to my loyal readers, I've not updated in such a long time. That's an understatement. You guys are great, reading my story. I promise to work on this one more! It will become my passion! I really wanna thank sia, I feel special that my story is in your favorites. ^-^ And all of you who reviewed and are being patient with me! Special thanks to you, Otaku Pitcher; you were there since the beginning! Thank you so much! …I sound like I just won an award, don't I? ^-^;;
-Ownership: None. GO READ ALREADY!
Evening was setting. The massive, golden orb began to dip below the horizon, sinking beneath the earth. Unfortunate that just as the stars began to blink into life, hordes of clouds began to blanket the skies, hiding the stars beneath its mask. The last bit of light was only the crescent moon, though now the sinister blanket surrounded it, and in moments the pale moonlight dispersed behind the clouds. A storm was definitely on its way.
Just as one infused within Yui's heart.
Sitting on her bed, Yui stared out the window as tiny droplets of icy rain pelted the glass, it gradually becoming stronger. How funny that the weather acts like that of a mood ring…it seems to change along with how she feels.
'Life is like a box of chocolates,' Yui mused in her mind, 'you never know what you'll get next. Or something like that.' She arose from her seat near her windowsill, reaching down on her bed to pick up her comb. Running its teeth through the tangled mass upon her crown, she winced as it pulled at her scalp from the force. Setting the comb back down, she rose to hear a knocking at her window.
'Who'd be out in this weather? Let alone my window?' she asked herself, tilting her head as she took one step forward. Realizing it could be a bandit she withdrew, hands fumbling along her dresser for something that could do some damage to the head, or something to protect her. Before she could get her hand on something, the knocking ceased, and instead was replaced with the creaking of the window. Yui gasped as she realized that her pursuer outside her window was trying to break in!
"He…help…" Yui choked out weakly, realizing her fear stole her voice away. It was too late. He'd already opened her window fully, and he stepped inside. Shadows danced over his face, concealing it in their ebony mask. Yui trembled violently, pressing herself against a wall and sliding down, her knees brought up to her chest. The man, at least she assumed he was a man, took a step toward her, shadows lifting somewhat, yet eyes still hidden by thick bangs falling before them.
'It's happening…it's going to happen again…I need help…someone help me…!' Yui cried out in her mind, eyes squeezing shut as the man neared her. Soon she felt hands resting on her shoulders, and tried to scream, but nothing came out. 'I don't want this…not again…please…' in her frantic thoughts, she heard his voice, and it was so familiar…
"Yui-sama! Yui-sama, please look at me!" Could it be? Yui opened her eyes slowly, and then they snapped open immediately. It was! Suboshi!
"Suboshi?! What are you doing here?!" Yui demanded, her cheeks burning with anger, and partial embarrassment. Suboshi opened his mouth to apologize, but remembered his resolution, and just stood up, ignoring her question.
"Yui-sa-…Yui, I think there's something you need to know about."
"Not until you answer my question!"
"…Ahem, that's what I AM doing, Yui…"
"Oh…" Yui's face darkened ten shades of red, and she stood up, crossing her arms and trying to hold onto what dignity she had left. "Proceed, then…"
"Yui, what I'm going to tell you will not please you, I'm afraid…" he paused, narrowing his eyes sternly at her. He noticed the hint of fear cross her features, but she hid it with an angry sneer, awaiting him to continue, "…Because, it's about Nakago." Yui jumped at the sound of his name, dropping her arms to her side.
"What about Nakago?"
"Yui…I don't know why, I really don't, but I know you're in love with him. And now you've been lead to believe that he shares your feelings," he started, wiping his bangs away from his face, "but, I regret to inform you…Yui, anything Nakago said or did…it was just a lie. A trick to make you- …" his words were cut short as a hand was whipped against his face, a burning sensation left on his cheek. Suboshi stood frozen, head turned slightly to one side from the impact being slapped by Yui. He didn't understand why, but he was surprised at her action.
"Liar…" just with that one word, Suboshi could feel himself cowering. He felt Yui's eyes, cold and challenging, staring at him. After a short silence, she repeated herself, "you are a liar…" Suboshi felt a rush of tears well up in his eyes, but he dared not shed them in front of her. He couldn't stand it, it hurt so badly…not only didn't she believe him, but her words…they were filled with such intense hatred.
"Yui…"
"Don't you dare speak another word, you bastard!" she growled, raising a hand threatening to strike again. "I know you're jealous of him, but how dare you lie to me!"
"Damn it Yui, you are so blind! Why don't you open your eyes for once?!" he retorted, regaining his lost confidence. Yui was taken aback, her eyes widened. "That's right, Yui…you've become selfish and blind. Blind with a cloud of revenge and hatred, that's why you love Nakago the way you do…you both crave blood. He's willing to shed the blood of the ones you claim to be your enemies, that's why you think he cares. He's easily manipulated you into believing taking their blood will show his supposed love. Oh, how wrong you are, Yui…how wrong you are…" his final words had such a horrifying tone that the hairs on Yui's neck stood on end.
"Suboshi-…"
"No, Yui…I tried, but you refuse to see the truth. I hope you find happiness in this cloudy world of blood and sorrow, for soon it will be the blood of someone you hold so dear that Nakago will shed…I guarantee it." With that, Suboshi turned away from her, leaping to the window and disappearing into the storm raging outside.
Yui stared off after him in horror, her mouth hanging open just slightly. Her knees buckled, and she collapsed against the foot of her bed, clutching tightly at the sheets. Thoughts swirled in her mind, and she came to a conclusion as she sat there: she was frightened. She'd never been so frightened about something so trivial before. If only…if only she'd had the time, and the courage, to tell him…
He was right.
Yui knew in her heart what her mind didn't want to admit. She realized how much it was tearing her apart, and she continued to allow it to. She was everywhere at once, and her mind was speaking for what seemed like many other people.
"Suboshi…" she called softly, watching the small puddle forming on the floor by the window. She wanted to cry, oh how she did…but, tears would never come. Her conceit would never allow it. The numbness leaving her legs, she stood and walked over to her window, sliding it closed. She shivered from the icy rainwater that splashed on her face and arms. Regardless of the pattering of water against the windowpane, Yui heard, and felt, nothing but silence. It was deafening.
'Why can't I bring myself to accept what I already know?' Yui asked herself, seating herself on the bed. 'I know Nakago has used me as much as the next person…I know what he cares about, and it's not me. He's hurt me in more ways than anyone could ever know, and I flip it all around into thinking he's making me happy!' she sighed deeply, falling back against the firm bed, and rolled onto her side.
'I just want to be loved…even if it's love for what I am, and not who I am…' she realized, closing her eyes to relieve the febrile feeling in her eyes. It was always just pain, like her eyes were ablaze, never to be cooled with the tears that so desperately wanted to fall.
'Suboshi is right about a great many things…not only about Nakago, but about me as well. I am blind. So blind, that even the truth I know I conceal with a veil of pride. I'm a brick wall, I will not crumble before my emotions I wish to live with, but with the ones I need to. If I don't love Nakago, I will never remain strong, or return home…that's all I want is home…no more of this stupid world. There is no one here worth staying for. Especially Miaka…' Yui jolted upright, staring at the ceiling.
"That's right Miaka…I know my wishes, and I will do everything in my power to make them come true. Suboshi, not even you can bring forth the truth to my eyes, the truth I know all too well. And Seiryuu, you will make my desires a reality…I will see the heart of Konan fall to a pit of despair, and burn in the hell that I have suffered in for months. This is my destiny, I will see it through to the bitter end." A cruel grin formed upon her lips, yet it was so frail. There was a clash of thunder, and she jumped in fright. A hand clutched to her breast, she laid back again, eyes staring off into nothing. She rolled over onto her side, and eventually onto her stomach, burying her face into the sheets. Laying there, her mind only drifted farther and farther away…
And she cried with dry tears.
(That, my friends, is chapter seven. I decided to make this one a little longer than the rest. Again, I sincerely apologize, I just wasn't in writing mode the past few months, but I'm getting back in the game now! Hope you enjoyed, I'll try to keep my chapters longer from now on! Now, to figure out how chapter eight will be…)