"Amy!"
I tried my best to sit up, I didn't want anyone to know how hard I'd hit. Stupid! It was stupid of me! I knew how to take a bump. Tuck your chin down so you don't bounce your head off the mat. Hell, I'd learned that in judo, way back when.
"Amy? Amy? Say somethin'!"
I suddenly realized that I'd been trying to sit up, rather unsuccessfully, for the past couple of minutes. I felt fingers brush the side of my face. I opened my eyes to the scary sight of blackness. Yes, I was sure my eyes were open, but I couldn't see shit. Fuck.
"I'm all right," I muttered. Ah, here came the colors again. Shapes followed shortly. Yes, only a mild concussion, I'd had tons of these. I'd been fine soon. Finally, I was able to focus on the dark figure above me, Shane Helms, through the stars. I tried to smile and sit up, and I succeeded at the first. Shane had powerbombed me, and I took the bump badly. I knew it was my fault. But he must have thought... "I'm all right."
"I'm sorry 'bout that, sweetie! How many fingers -"
He was cut off as a smaller blonde shoved him out of the way, kneeling next to me.
"Amy?"
Time to get up, for real. I sat up and Jeff jumped back, surprised. Dizziness crashed over me again with a wave of black, and I dropped my head into my hand. "I'm fine, fine."
"Are y'sure?" Jeff asked. The blackness dissipated but the stars remained. My vision came back, focusing on Jeff, who was sitting back on his heels, eye-level with me. I smiled a goofy smile. I felt drunk.
"I promise. I need to stand up."
"I doubt that," Jeff chuckled, slightly, and slid under my arm to help me to my feet. I noticed half the boys from OMEGA standing around the ring, concerned. Jeff led me, stumbling, to the side of the ring. Oddly enough, one of the few things I could focus on was Jeff's older brother, sitting in the front row of chairs outside the ring. The only one in the arena who'd had enough faith in me to let me handle myself. But I could just see the concern in his dark eyes. Almost as if he were more concerned than anyone else there. I don't know why I suddenly felt that, considering he was the only one who hadn't rushed to my aid. Goddammit, trying to figure it out only made my head hurt more. The next thing I knew, Jeff was handing me down to someone on the ground. I don't know who, I was still watching Matt.
"Go sit by Matt, Amy. I'll get y'some asprin."
I nodded slowly, feeling my brain rattle in my head, in response to Jeff's command. I realized that it was Shane who was taking me slowly to Matt. Matt, however, didn't move. He maintained eye contact with me, and followed me as I went from my feet to the chair.
"Y'ok, kid?" Matt asked, finally, when I sat next to him. I was greatful that he was downplaying this. I felt a need to impress him, to keep up his original impression of me. I had learned over time that he was the one who wanted me here, Jeff just kind of went along with things. Matt was the real brains of this operation. I also was singled out because Matt and Jeff tended to not take on girls. I wanted to really impress them. Him. But it was hard. I felt very uncomfortable around him. As if he was always judging me.
"Yeah, it wasn't as bad as all that," I shrugged. My vision was already becoming clearer when Jeff returned with a large bottle of some sports drink and a couple asprin. "I don't really need -"
Jeff smiled slightly. "Then f'my benefit?"
I smiled slightly and took the items, giving in. "Thanks."
"Not a problem. Make sure y'drink all that," Dr. Jeff ordered. I nodded, downing the pills. "Matt, y'make sure -"
"Absolutely," Matt said, quickly, cutting him off. "Would y'mind finishin' off this exercise with Shane?"
"Sure," Jeff drawled, nodding at Matt. Matt smiled softly, dissolving the hard look, and Jeff went back to the ring. He stood eye to eye with Shane and a smirk crossed his face. "Y'try that with me an' you'll find y'self in a world of trouble."
Shane grinned and the two discussed what Shane and I'd been doing. I glanced at Matt out of the corner of my eye, taking another drink. He was so businesslike. Even being harsh with his brother. I was slightly annoyed at how callous he was being to him. Me, I expected it. But Jeff was his brother. He was just trying to be nice. It was almost as if Matt had no concern for Jeff's worries. Like everything had to be black and white, straight across the board.
Typical, I fumed to myself, turning to watch Jeff and Shane work. Matt was just some backwards country boy. He'd had everything laid out for him. He knew his whole life he'd wanted to wrestle, he'd even been in WWF matches a couple times. He had everything planned out, clear cut. He'd lived in little old Cameron, North Carolina his whole damn life, in the same house. He didn't have to spend a childhood moving from town to town, closing him into the hard life of a nomad forever. He didn't have to make new friends every couple years when he moved, and therefore learned the art of compromise. He hadn't spent the first twenty years of his life never knowing what he would be doing or where he would be doing it. It was as if everything had to be his way or no way. He glided right over the grey areas of everything.
Jesus, the more I thought about it, the angrier I got. How dare he treat Jeff like that? Just because Jeff wasn't as straightlaced as he was. Jeff was more open, more flexible. These were qualities that Matt obviously never had to develop. What an asshole.
I took another drink from the bottle Jeff had given me and slouched down in my chair to watch the action in the ring. Jeff and Shane were trying to let Shane plan a match, then run it. At least, that's what Shane and I'd been doing until recently, so I just assumed. Right now, Shane was getting up on the top rope. Jeff stumbled around in the middle of the ring and finally turned to face Shane. At this, Shane jumped, feet first, from the top rope, hooked his legs around Jeff's head, then fell back into a slightly twisted hurrican rana, throwing Jeff to the ground. Holy shit, that was the coolest thing I'd ever seen. I sat up suddenly, ignoring the shortened black out from the sudden movement.
"Y'like that?"
I looked to Matt, surprised. I sputtered for words. "I.. wha... yeah!"
"Y'could do that."
"Ah, well..."
Matt smirked a bit. "After y'start seein' clear again."
I looked at him with a childish giddiness that I would chide myself for later. "You think so?"
"I know so. Y'do some pretty crazy stuff out there. I bet that's easier than a moonsault, especially f'someone y'size."
I turned back to the ring, my eyes lighting up. "That would kick ass."
"Y'gonna do it, then. T'morrow. We'll give it a shot."
"Tomorrow?"
"I think y'done f'th'day, kid. Sorry."
I nodded, sinking back into my seat, taking another drink. I think Shane had landed that funny, he was moving a little slower now. I wasn't sure if I was ready to try that top rope rana tomorrow, but now I had to. Dammit. I tugged the hair-tie out of my hair, realizing that I really was done for the day. My dark-blonde hair tumbled over my shoulders, and I shook it back behind me. I caught Matt watching me out of the corner of my eye, but pretended that I didn't. I don't know how the hell he thought he could be such a pompous asshole and still my friend. Jeff's behavior was fine for both teacher and peer, but Matt had this air about him, like he was better than everyone. Maybe that was why I was trying so hard to impress him. He was just so freaking intimidating. I don't think he could be social if he tried. He wasn't a person, he was a machine. I sighed, and finished off the drink that Jeff had given me, then capped the bottle. I began fidgeting with the bottle, absently, still feeling nervous under Matt's gaze.
"Amy?"
I tensed. "Yeah?"
"What are you doing tonight?"
I bit the inside of my lip. Why had I known that he was going to say that? "Ah, I think I'm just going to go to my place and take it easy."
Matt fell silent and looked back to the ring. After a pause, "This weekend?"
My God, he was straightforward. I guess that deserved a straightforward answer. "Matt, I'm really flattered - really - but I don't think that it's a good idea. I mean..."
I hesitated. I really hoped that I wasn't killing my opportunity here. Stupid. No, no, that wasn't it. I wasn't going to sleep my way into the business. No fucking way. I cast a nervous glance to Matt, hoping that he wouldn't do anything rash.
"I understand."
It was painful. The look in his eyes spoke volumes, emotions that I hadn't even thought he had. I bit the inside of my lip again, trying to repress any emotions. This wasn't the way. I felt bad doing it, but... There was a intense, silent exchange between us until Matt finally looked away, chagrined. Well, I had been kind of waiting for that. And it was over, I hoped. I sighed, dismayed, and got up from my chair. I don't know what compelled me, but I headed straight for the door, grabbing my duffel bag as I left. I didn't even bother changing. The hot Carolina sun hit me as I burst outside, but I made my way straight for my car.
"I hope this doesn't affect practice tomorrow..." I muttered to myself, fumbling with my keys, hardly able to focus enough to find the right key to open the car.