untitled (for now)
-----------------
By: Buffy Ann Summers
a/n: um ... im sorry this chap. sounds crappy. I just started again cuz, its like summerbreak. Anyways, spare me and
review to tell me how pathetic i just got in writing. hm.... R/R!! PLEASE... i know i know it's been like VERY LONG.
ANYWAYS, my hand hurts! need to go!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spending another night alone
Wondering when I'm gonna ever see you again
Thinking what I would give to get you back baby
I should have told you how I felt then
Instead I kept it to myself, yeah
I let my love go unexpressed
'Till it was too late
You walked away
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He backed away from the corner absorbing the gruesome details of death. No one saw him
enter. No one saw him leave. His mind screamed within it's subconscience to fight back the
incohrent news. He rejected. His soul cried out and with each step he took, he remained strong
until he hit the sidwalk -just feet away from Buffy's house he broke down. It was a pathetic
sight. Nevertheless, he was the big bad. Breaking down to cry was never part the hidden agenda
kept away within the pockets of his leather duster. Hence, there was no agenda.
His bones collapsed on the pavement with a thud so silent it could have been heard with
total and acute silence. Taking out a cigerette, he puffed tiny little clouds that matched the
lingering feeling inside. With disgust that rose immediately he fanned them away with a fling of his
wrist. He wanted to help. But the useless feeling he had inside just told him, he had done
enough trouble as it is. He knew without a question, the slayer was judged because of her
feelings for him. Did Buffy love him? truely love him? he shook his head. No. not him. not
ever.
"I knew I'd find you out here .." came a voice "It's kinda crowded in there don't you
think?"
Spike shrugged his shoulders and never bothered to look up "Look mate, I'm in no mood to
get all buddy-buddy" he spoke inhaling smoke into his dead lungs.
"I know" came the stated answer "thats why I'm here"
Whistler took a seat next to the brooding vampire. Spike could have lashed out, but he
knew there would be regrets of things in the future he knew he wished he hadn't say. The
accumalated space on the sidewalk was much for the both of them, but Spike choose not to listen.
The streetlights flickered off in the distance and the usual scenery of the stars that hung above
them slowly disappeared. Everything wasn't correct. And the correctness of how things were placed
in his life wasn't all that everything. He wanted to cry. He wanted to do things that went against
his pride as a vamp.
"You love her don't you?" came whistler's voice that followed after a long sigh "funny
isn't it .. people find love in all the wrong places, but often those type of feelings work out
better than the ones found everywhere"
He scoffed loudly "is that what you came to me for? .. to preach to me about those
sodding lovey-dovey things ... what kind of creature do you take me for, mate?! Honestly -i think
thats an insult" puffing smoke he sighed "I don't call it love. infatuation maybe .. how the
hell should I know"
Whistler looked at him "You mean you don't even know what your in?"
He scoffed again "it's the slayer were talking about .. anyone with her doesn't know what
their getting in .."
He nodded as if he understood. But the concept of what the vamp tried to get was to far
within his grasp. It was silent again. He tried to make it a friendly evironment for the both of
them to talk, but Spike was far off the meter measure for just talking.
"Ok, I'm going to lay your cards on the line here, kid" he spoke with such offensivness that
could have been taken as rude and yet in some insane way prudent "Your what buffy's got right now."
he glared at him "no one in that house can do anything about it. Nevertheless, if you continue this
useless brooding -i might as well go find someone suitable for helping her"
This caught his attention and right after letting the speech sink into him he stood up
"tell me What to do"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just tell me
How I got this far
Just tell me
Why you're here
And who you are
'Cause every time I look
You're never there
And every time I sleep
You're always there
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"G-giles?"
"It's suitable don't you think?" spoke the second judge, with the accent of an englishman
quite close to the way Giles spoke. As a matter of fact, so much closer that it scared the hell out
of her "but enough of the chit chat, were here to fight and thats what i intend to do ..." he smirked
and with the gentle ease of his foot he attacked out of no where.
He thrusted his fist out to aim a punch. Buffy ducked and took the comfort and balled her hands
to block any incoming attack. She took a step back swung her left fist at him and exerted force into
the kick she depended on. Giles stumbled a few inches away which gave buffy the upper hand.
"You can look like him" she spat "but you could never be him"
Giles lunged at her and Buffy was taken by surprise. She fell hard and solid on the moist
ground "your right my dear" spoke the judge as he took buffy's right arm and tugged at it "i couldn't"
she grunted as she tried to free herself, but the more she insisted into wrigling herself out -the more
twisting she felt on her arm "but it would kill you to know thats this would be the only face you will
see when you die .."
He laughed hystericaly and buffy felt her arm prick with pain. It hurt like hell and she closed
her eyes to drown the pain out. But it came back triple the amount of hurt she felt before. It had to
end. he had to give up.
"we made you slayer" he continued no longer faking his voice. It was deep and the tone was
menacingly eerie. It was as if his voice didn't want to leave the hearing range of her ears "you were
the perfect slayer we concived from our wildest immagination. Cunning, strong, and feirce. But
you went around and disobeyed us. Never did we thought this day would ever come."
"There's no such thing as perfect" she strained trying to keep her voice away from sounding
as if she couldn't take the pressure he had on her arm "no one is. and no on will ever be."
"lies, all lies" he accused now griping the back of her hair. Buffy was relieved to find her
arm was still functioning.
"I never lie" bashing his face with her back portion of her head, buffy quickly moved away "ok, i do
lie, but not all the time" her hair clung to her face and with much effort she pushed them away.
Buffy hurled her body into the air slamming her foot into Giles's chest. He fell halfway, and buffy
caught a handfull of his shirt. She punched numerously at his face and the sickening crunch of his nose was
something buffy was used to. In minutes, his face was drenched in blood. For a second, Buffy stopped. Even
though, he was not Giles. He resembled him. He resembled memories that died not so long ago. he had the
hands that taught her. He had the eyes that watched her, and he had the mouth that spoke to her. Buffy shook
her head. NO.
"Hard isn't it?" he managed to say, in a wisphered voice "but it hurts. Thats how it feels -thats how we
feel slayer. No one ever thought you would fall for a vampire. But that is one thing we cannot control. We have no
power over your heart. Your heart decides what it needs and what it wants. But it pains us to know that even though
we control destiny and fate, we have no saying over this. However if it is what your heart truely desires, then leave it
to your heart. If he is really ment for you -then live child. Live to love him forever."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On a night when every line is a curse,
I thought I would save you, I keep making it worse.
I would give everything that I own for what it takes.
I would give everything that I own for the love that it takes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So lemme get this straight -mate" he stood not far from him "all i have to do is step into this-"
he took one look at the blurry hole on the ground. Actually, the hole one the ground was in the Magic box
on a hellmouth. Spike shuddered "and it'll take me to oblivion? -your off your bird" he took a step back
when the hole increased it's size and ate peices of the floor.
Whistler shook his head "no. if you want to help buffy. your going to go this way"
He cursed under his breath and muttered about how whatever he was getting himself into should
be at least amusing -or so should the screnary be. Nevertheless, he shook his head slightly "Ok, fine
but if there at the end of this bloody tunnel should there be a part where my bloody head comes out of
my rear" he pointed his index finger at Whistler "you will pay .."
He chuckled a bit timidly and spike shifted his head to him "I don't recall this being a laughing matter"
"sorry" he muttered before cutting to the chase "I need to tell you something though" it was
silent before he cut the air with his blade like information "There is a downside to what your doing"
"WHAT? you mean going down this bloody hole?-" he peered down the blurry void that grew larger by
the second. It beckoned him to jump, but with the restraints he was enduring at the moment told him that
it was best to take the cautious approach" it's harmless!"
"but there could be a downside"
"downside .. yes .. im jumping down not up"
"Just be careful, Spike. It's bad enough i don't know what could happen when you come out of there"
Spike shrugged his shoulders "then I'll tell you when i come back out .."
He took a step forward and slip into his death. NOT that he wasn't dead already. But he could have been
dead if he was alive. The ride wasn't bumpy as he thought -it felt as if he had been knocked into another time frame.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I will try and leave it all behind
and go for what it takes
to let it show.
But there is reasons you cant see.
You will be the end of me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He fell with a loud and seemingly painless thump. Nothing broke his fall and with the suggestive feeling of
pavement beneathe him he was still alive and intact with all his precious and accounted for body parts. He cursed as he
got up and dusted himself off.
"now where the hell could i be now?" the room looked endless and filled with acquirable knowledege that sat onto
pages on top of pages of old and ancient ink. They wisphered to him to come forth. Allowing him the mysteries of the
universe. He shook his head. Buffy was his universe now. Or so he thought.
The long corridors uttered death amongst the timeless tid bits that were placed as decor. It was a gruesome mood
and Spike did not feel up to the setting. He needed to find Buffy -where ever she was. It was a get in, drag her ass, and
get out situation. he smirked thinking to himself just how much he sounded like soldier boy. Captain cardboard -where was
that wanker now? He shurgged his shoulders and continued on his relentless search for the slayer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Making my way down town
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm home bound
Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the crowd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limply, the man in her grasp died and disappeared. His words alone shivered her spine. She opened her fist
that held no remains of the man that once hung from them. She slid to down to the grass and slumped her shoulders.
His voice echoed in her ears. Scrapping and gashing until there was no proof of a single release. 'If he is really
ment for you -then live child. Live to love him forever' it echoed in side her brain, rattling her insides till she
no longer could take it.
She whimpered grasping the sides of her head and the throbbing. the throbbing didn't want to stop. It began
to rain. The drops of tears fell down from the cry that cried them. The pain seemed to progress into something even
more than belief could withstand with her. This was not pain. This was pure and immediate torment. Again she wimphered
and attempted to stand. Heaven help her.
Just then a hand came out of nowhere. She looked up. Him.
"Spike?" she uttered, it was a dream.
Wake up.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TBC ....
-----------------
By: Buffy Ann Summers
a/n: um ... im sorry this chap. sounds crappy. I just started again cuz, its like summerbreak. Anyways, spare me and
review to tell me how pathetic i just got in writing. hm.... R/R!! PLEASE... i know i know it's been like VERY LONG.
ANYWAYS, my hand hurts! need to go!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spending another night alone
Wondering when I'm gonna ever see you again
Thinking what I would give to get you back baby
I should have told you how I felt then
Instead I kept it to myself, yeah
I let my love go unexpressed
'Till it was too late
You walked away
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He backed away from the corner absorbing the gruesome details of death. No one saw him
enter. No one saw him leave. His mind screamed within it's subconscience to fight back the
incohrent news. He rejected. His soul cried out and with each step he took, he remained strong
until he hit the sidwalk -just feet away from Buffy's house he broke down. It was a pathetic
sight. Nevertheless, he was the big bad. Breaking down to cry was never part the hidden agenda
kept away within the pockets of his leather duster. Hence, there was no agenda.
His bones collapsed on the pavement with a thud so silent it could have been heard with
total and acute silence. Taking out a cigerette, he puffed tiny little clouds that matched the
lingering feeling inside. With disgust that rose immediately he fanned them away with a fling of his
wrist. He wanted to help. But the useless feeling he had inside just told him, he had done
enough trouble as it is. He knew without a question, the slayer was judged because of her
feelings for him. Did Buffy love him? truely love him? he shook his head. No. not him. not
ever.
"I knew I'd find you out here .." came a voice "It's kinda crowded in there don't you
think?"
Spike shrugged his shoulders and never bothered to look up "Look mate, I'm in no mood to
get all buddy-buddy" he spoke inhaling smoke into his dead lungs.
"I know" came the stated answer "thats why I'm here"
Whistler took a seat next to the brooding vampire. Spike could have lashed out, but he
knew there would be regrets of things in the future he knew he wished he hadn't say. The
accumalated space on the sidewalk was much for the both of them, but Spike choose not to listen.
The streetlights flickered off in the distance and the usual scenery of the stars that hung above
them slowly disappeared. Everything wasn't correct. And the correctness of how things were placed
in his life wasn't all that everything. He wanted to cry. He wanted to do things that went against
his pride as a vamp.
"You love her don't you?" came whistler's voice that followed after a long sigh "funny
isn't it .. people find love in all the wrong places, but often those type of feelings work out
better than the ones found everywhere"
He scoffed loudly "is that what you came to me for? .. to preach to me about those
sodding lovey-dovey things ... what kind of creature do you take me for, mate?! Honestly -i think
thats an insult" puffing smoke he sighed "I don't call it love. infatuation maybe .. how the
hell should I know"
Whistler looked at him "You mean you don't even know what your in?"
He scoffed again "it's the slayer were talking about .. anyone with her doesn't know what
their getting in .."
He nodded as if he understood. But the concept of what the vamp tried to get was to far
within his grasp. It was silent again. He tried to make it a friendly evironment for the both of
them to talk, but Spike was far off the meter measure for just talking.
"Ok, I'm going to lay your cards on the line here, kid" he spoke with such offensivness that
could have been taken as rude and yet in some insane way prudent "Your what buffy's got right now."
he glared at him "no one in that house can do anything about it. Nevertheless, if you continue this
useless brooding -i might as well go find someone suitable for helping her"
This caught his attention and right after letting the speech sink into him he stood up
"tell me What to do"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just tell me
How I got this far
Just tell me
Why you're here
And who you are
'Cause every time I look
You're never there
And every time I sleep
You're always there
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"G-giles?"
"It's suitable don't you think?" spoke the second judge, with the accent of an englishman
quite close to the way Giles spoke. As a matter of fact, so much closer that it scared the hell out
of her "but enough of the chit chat, were here to fight and thats what i intend to do ..." he smirked
and with the gentle ease of his foot he attacked out of no where.
He thrusted his fist out to aim a punch. Buffy ducked and took the comfort and balled her hands
to block any incoming attack. She took a step back swung her left fist at him and exerted force into
the kick she depended on. Giles stumbled a few inches away which gave buffy the upper hand.
"You can look like him" she spat "but you could never be him"
Giles lunged at her and Buffy was taken by surprise. She fell hard and solid on the moist
ground "your right my dear" spoke the judge as he took buffy's right arm and tugged at it "i couldn't"
she grunted as she tried to free herself, but the more she insisted into wrigling herself out -the more
twisting she felt on her arm "but it would kill you to know thats this would be the only face you will
see when you die .."
He laughed hystericaly and buffy felt her arm prick with pain. It hurt like hell and she closed
her eyes to drown the pain out. But it came back triple the amount of hurt she felt before. It had to
end. he had to give up.
"we made you slayer" he continued no longer faking his voice. It was deep and the tone was
menacingly eerie. It was as if his voice didn't want to leave the hearing range of her ears "you were
the perfect slayer we concived from our wildest immagination. Cunning, strong, and feirce. But
you went around and disobeyed us. Never did we thought this day would ever come."
"There's no such thing as perfect" she strained trying to keep her voice away from sounding
as if she couldn't take the pressure he had on her arm "no one is. and no on will ever be."
"lies, all lies" he accused now griping the back of her hair. Buffy was relieved to find her
arm was still functioning.
"I never lie" bashing his face with her back portion of her head, buffy quickly moved away "ok, i do
lie, but not all the time" her hair clung to her face and with much effort she pushed them away.
Buffy hurled her body into the air slamming her foot into Giles's chest. He fell halfway, and buffy
caught a handfull of his shirt. She punched numerously at his face and the sickening crunch of his nose was
something buffy was used to. In minutes, his face was drenched in blood. For a second, Buffy stopped. Even
though, he was not Giles. He resembled him. He resembled memories that died not so long ago. he had the
hands that taught her. He had the eyes that watched her, and he had the mouth that spoke to her. Buffy shook
her head. NO.
"Hard isn't it?" he managed to say, in a wisphered voice "but it hurts. Thats how it feels -thats how we
feel slayer. No one ever thought you would fall for a vampire. But that is one thing we cannot control. We have no
power over your heart. Your heart decides what it needs and what it wants. But it pains us to know that even though
we control destiny and fate, we have no saying over this. However if it is what your heart truely desires, then leave it
to your heart. If he is really ment for you -then live child. Live to love him forever."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On a night when every line is a curse,
I thought I would save you, I keep making it worse.
I would give everything that I own for what it takes.
I would give everything that I own for the love that it takes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So lemme get this straight -mate" he stood not far from him "all i have to do is step into this-"
he took one look at the blurry hole on the ground. Actually, the hole one the ground was in the Magic box
on a hellmouth. Spike shuddered "and it'll take me to oblivion? -your off your bird" he took a step back
when the hole increased it's size and ate peices of the floor.
Whistler shook his head "no. if you want to help buffy. your going to go this way"
He cursed under his breath and muttered about how whatever he was getting himself into should
be at least amusing -or so should the screnary be. Nevertheless, he shook his head slightly "Ok, fine
but if there at the end of this bloody tunnel should there be a part where my bloody head comes out of
my rear" he pointed his index finger at Whistler "you will pay .."
He chuckled a bit timidly and spike shifted his head to him "I don't recall this being a laughing matter"
"sorry" he muttered before cutting to the chase "I need to tell you something though" it was
silent before he cut the air with his blade like information "There is a downside to what your doing"
"WHAT? you mean going down this bloody hole?-" he peered down the blurry void that grew larger by
the second. It beckoned him to jump, but with the restraints he was enduring at the moment told him that
it was best to take the cautious approach" it's harmless!"
"but there could be a downside"
"downside .. yes .. im jumping down not up"
"Just be careful, Spike. It's bad enough i don't know what could happen when you come out of there"
Spike shrugged his shoulders "then I'll tell you when i come back out .."
He took a step forward and slip into his death. NOT that he wasn't dead already. But he could have been
dead if he was alive. The ride wasn't bumpy as he thought -it felt as if he had been knocked into another time frame.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I will try and leave it all behind
and go for what it takes
to let it show.
But there is reasons you cant see.
You will be the end of me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He fell with a loud and seemingly painless thump. Nothing broke his fall and with the suggestive feeling of
pavement beneathe him he was still alive and intact with all his precious and accounted for body parts. He cursed as he
got up and dusted himself off.
"now where the hell could i be now?" the room looked endless and filled with acquirable knowledege that sat onto
pages on top of pages of old and ancient ink. They wisphered to him to come forth. Allowing him the mysteries of the
universe. He shook his head. Buffy was his universe now. Or so he thought.
The long corridors uttered death amongst the timeless tid bits that were placed as decor. It was a gruesome mood
and Spike did not feel up to the setting. He needed to find Buffy -where ever she was. It was a get in, drag her ass, and
get out situation. he smirked thinking to himself just how much he sounded like soldier boy. Captain cardboard -where was
that wanker now? He shurgged his shoulders and continued on his relentless search for the slayer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Making my way down town
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm home bound
Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the crowd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limply, the man in her grasp died and disappeared. His words alone shivered her spine. She opened her fist
that held no remains of the man that once hung from them. She slid to down to the grass and slumped her shoulders.
His voice echoed in her ears. Scrapping and gashing until there was no proof of a single release. 'If he is really
ment for you -then live child. Live to love him forever' it echoed in side her brain, rattling her insides till she
no longer could take it.
She whimpered grasping the sides of her head and the throbbing. the throbbing didn't want to stop. It began
to rain. The drops of tears fell down from the cry that cried them. The pain seemed to progress into something even
more than belief could withstand with her. This was not pain. This was pure and immediate torment. Again she wimphered
and attempted to stand. Heaven help her.
Just then a hand came out of nowhere. She looked up. Him.
"Spike?" she uttered, it was a dream.
Wake up.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TBC ....