Disclaimers as Chapter 1.
Sorry for the delay folks, I hope you like this as it's my first venture into the musical realm.
The lyrics used in this chapter are from the track ~With You~ by Linkin Park and no infringement is intended.
I'm sorry if I have any geographical errors I'm not all that familiar with New York having never been there.
once again all feedback most gratefully accepted.
CHAPTER 7
The nightmares had taken over once again, in the four days since he'd been released all forms of communication from Steven had dried up, Frank knew he was doing this to prolong the game, he was twisting the knife even further in his perverse quest for.....for........what?.
Sleep was not coming easily to Frank Donovan, the thoughts were clouding his head, the words were dancing in front of his eyes .........hate.........deceit........revenge.........why?.......why?.
He wasn't finding any answers, not tonight anyhow!
Jenna watched as he tossed and turned, he seemed to be having a wrestling match with his concience and memory. Sweat was escaping in rivulets tracing a path down the smooth skin of his chest, but still he remained icy cold, she could only imagine the torture that he was putting himself through to get some answers.
Sadly she got out of bed and went to look to the little ones who were sleeping nearby, she needed some comfort, unfortunately her husband was not in any mental shape to provide it, he had his own needs to battle with first.
She couldn't stop the first tear as it fell onto her cheek "Jesus woman, get a grip on yourself" she chided.
By the time Frank found her tears had given way to huge racking sobs, she was hunched up on the floor against the wall oblivious to anything but grief.
"Oh Jenna what am I doing to you?" he whispered in her ear as he gathered her up in his arms and held on to her as tightly as he could.
"It's not your fault, please believe I don't blame you for any of this" she cried "It's just that I'm on the edge and I don't know how much longer I can take any of this, I'm trying to be strong, I'm trying to support you, but you're just shutting me out, I can't get through to you anymore"
"Oh God, no" he sighed. "Please don't tell me I've been doing that, I've been a selfish bastard in the past, but that was before you and the kids came along, I guess I still find it hard to let anyone inside when I can't deal with things, but you have to believe that I love you with all my heart and I don't mean to do it intentionally, I wouldn't hurt you for the world" he knew he was babbling but he didn't care he had to make her believe him.
They continued to hold on to each other for what seemed like an eternity and eventually Frank gave in to the grief himself and finally opened up to his wife.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------
Steven Rosen had not been idle the past few days, he knew his brother would be torturing himself "good" he thought "he deserves everything I have in store for him"
He sealed the envelope containing his directions for his brother to follow, he knew he was on top and in control. For the first time in his entire life he knew that he had the upper hand and that only one of them was walking away.
"I'll see you tomorrow David" he chuckled as he addressed the envelope to Alex before arranging delivery.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------
Alex froze, "Oh god" she thought "this is it"
The expression on Franks face was a mixture of resignation and relief that maybe now he was going to get the answers that he craved.
"Well I believe it's showtime then" he said bitterly
According to the letter Frank was to wait for Steven at the N.E. corner of central park, alone at six p.m. that evening.
According to the team that was exectly what he wasn't going to do, no way was he doing this without their backup.
"I'm going alone" stated Frank loudly making himself heard over the rest of them.
"What the hell, are you completely crazed?" shouted Jake "stupidity like that is suicidal, you know he's after your head don't you, think about it Frank, all this bastard wants to do is take you down or out or both, and you're just going to give him the satisfaction of walking straight into it" he raged.
Frank had him by the collar up against the wall in a split second "That bastard as you so eloquently put it, just happens to be the same flesh and blood as me, and as for thinking about it, why do you think it is that I haven't slept for the past few weeks, It's all........... I've had to think about" he said drily, slowly letting go of Jake's collar. "Don't even try to imagine what all this has done to me and how I feel, you'd never even begin to come close to understanding"
The ringing of the telephone halted the scene being played out, Frank picked it up desperate for something to break the tension. "Donovan" he said. The expression on his face changed from one of anger to one of resignation, he spoke only a few words, the last ones being "I always keep my word"
"Who was that" asked Cody, he had a trace on the line but the caller hadn't hung around long enough.
"Jenna" answered Frank "She wasn't best pleased with me when I left the hotel this morning, this whole thing has put a huge strain on her and at the moment I'm not helping, so if you'll excuse me I think I'd better go and rescue what I have left of my marriage" he said leaving the room at speed.
"Jeez" whistled Monica looking at Robert and the rest of them "is any one of you buying that?"
All of them shook their heads in unison, they were indeed not buying that line, the Frank and Jenna they knew would make sure they stuck together through anything, they had a lot more fight and guts in them.
"Jake, you're the best one for this, go now, only make sure you don't lose him or I'll shoot you myself" said Robert grimly.
Jake was out of the door and on Frank's tail at lightening speed, hoping that the inner turmoil Donovan was fighting would dull his instincts. Jake knew he was good, but Frank was the master at shaking off surveillance. Frank's state of mind was the only asset Jake had working in his favour.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------
Twisting and turning through the streets of New York was definitely not an easy task, with the added pressure of keeping up with Frank Donovan and remaining invisible, it was starting to take it's toll on Jake. He was phoning in every few minutes to let the others know where he was.
At last he saw Donovan entering an apartment building, thank God, he could now stop chasing and hopefully give the rest of the team time to catch up.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------
Frank made his way to the rooftop apartment as he'd been told to, he knew Steven would be waiting for him. He took a deep breath and walked into the apartment through the already open door.
"Close the door David and come outside and join me" said Steven calmly.
Looking his brother in the eye Frank equally as calmly stated "I don't go by that name anymore Steven as well you know"
"Oh yes you're the great Frank Donovan now aren't you?" he sneered. "Anna never did get used to the hated Donovan name"
"Is this what this whole thing has been about Steven, you not being able to get over losing out to me over Anna" Frank questioned.
"Nice view from here, don't you think FRANK" said Steven sarcastically "Anna so loved it out here in the summertime"
"Look you can take it out on me all you like Steven but leave Anna out of this, you know nothing about what Anna liked and didn't like, you're just making this whole sorry story up as you go along aren't you?"
"I know she's dead and I know that you must be the one responsible for it, she told me that you let her down, that you loved your job more than her, that you abandoned her when she really needed you" taunted Steven.
"STOP......... stop it now" raged Frank, confusing, upsetting thoughts rampaging through his brain.
Steven was laughing maniacally now " You still don't get it do you brother dear"
"Get what, Steven for Christsakes.........get what?"
"In the end you lost her to me Frank, for the last six months of her life Anna was happy with me"
Steven waited for the look of pure horror to register on his brothers face before continuing his tirade.
"Anna and I were lovers Frank, she turned to me when you deserted her in favour of the job, she was living a lie with you, just waiting for the opportunity to leave you and come and live here in this very apartment with me. I made her happy, you just made her miserable"
"You lying bastard, don't you dare speak to me about her in that way" screamed Frank landing a punch squarely into Stevens face.
Steven got up examining the blood that appeared on the back of his hand as he touched his bottom lip and smiled. "Just take a look at the letter on the table, I think it just about confirms what I've been saying to you"
Frank picked up the piece of paper on the table and studied it intently, a look of devastation took over his whole face as he read Anna's loving words to Steven, making a mockery of the time that he'd spent trying to love her and get close to her again after the attack on them. Never in his time on this earth had he felt so totally betrayed by someone he'd worshiped with his very self. He could feel all the fight pouring out of him as he sank to the floor in a gesture of total defeat and despair cradling his head in his hands trying to block out the pain he felt tearing at his heart.
Steven let the silence continue, he wanted Frank to be devastated, he wanted him to be totally blown away with grief, just as he'd been consumed by the very same grief on learning of Anna's death.
Frank by this time had managed to compose himself just enough to deal the killer blow to Steven.
"Anna was carrying a child when she took her life, did she tell you that?" asked Frank.
"You're lying, lying, just trying to make me feel bad about it, when you're the one to blame" Steven screamed.
"There's a copy of the medical report still filed at the coroners office if you don't believe me"
"No, no, no, no, no, this is too much, just who's baby was it ?????" screamed Steven.
"I guess we'll never find out now will we" laughed Frank hysterically.
"so you see Anna screwed us both.............. literally"
Frank was taken totally off guard by Steven's attack, they were out on the rooftop terrace, trading punches and kicks blow for blow by this time. Steven was like a maniac who didn't now care whether he lived or died, Frank however knew he had a lot to live for, he had a wife and family to go home to.
Steven made a startling lunge towards his brother trying to knock him completely off balance, but in doing so lost his own balance and was catapaulted over the terrace, he grabbed the one thing he could reach before going over the edge....................Frank.
"Jesus Christ" screamed Jake as he saw the two bodies topple over the edge, he was on his cell dialing 911 as he ran towards the sidewalk the now unmoving bodies led on, both twisted out of shape with the force of the fall from the five storey building.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------
The light was blinding, the pain intense and sickening "Can't feel my legs" he thought, then as he lapsed back into unconsciousness his mind began to play tricks.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------
"Get the spinal board, we need a collar over here now, multiple fractures" screamed the paramedic.
"We need to get an I.V. line in NOW, get an airway in quickly, hurry up we need that line in yesterday"
"Shit, pulse is slowing, I'm not getting any output, he's gone into V.F. commencing CPR"
1.......2.......3......4.......5.....breath
1.......2.......3......4........5....breath
~~~~~~~~~~~
I woke up in a dream today to the cold of the static ......put my cold feet on the floor
forgot all about yesterday
remembering I'm pretending to be who i'm not anymore
a little taste of hypocrisy
and I'm left in the wake of the mistake........slow to react
even though you're so close to me
you're still so distant.........and I can't bring you back
~~~~~~~~~~~~
1.......2.......3......4........5....breath
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's true.............. the way I feel
was promised by your face
the sound of your voice
painted on my memories
even if you're not with me
I'm with you
~~~~~~~~~~~~
1.......2.....3.......4......5....breath
~~~~~~~~~~~~
with you........now I see.........keeping everything inside
with you........now I see.........even when I close my eyes
~~~~~~~~~~~~
" still no output, keep going"
1.......2......3......4......5...breath
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I hit you and you hit me back
we fall to the floor............the rest of the day stands still
fine line between this and that
when things go wrong I pretend that the past isn't real
now I'm trapped in this memory
and I'm left in the wake of the mistake.............slow to react
so even though you're so close to me
you're still so distant...............and I can't bring you back
~~~~~~~~~~~~
1......2.......3.......4......5.......breath
"keep going for Christssakes"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's true.............. the way I feel
was promised by your face
the sound of your voice
painted on my menories
even if you're not with me
I'm with you
you........now I see.........keeping everything inside
with you........now I see.........even when I close my eyes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"still no output, get the paddles, charging 200........clear"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
with you........now I see.........keeping everything inside
with you........now I see.........even when I close my eyes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"still in V.F. charging 250, clear"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
no.......no matter how far we've come
I can't wait to see tomorrow
no matter how far we've come I..............I can't wait to see tomorrow
with you...........you now I see.........keeping everything inside
with you...........you now I see..........even when I close my eyes
with you...........you now I see..........keeping everything inside
with you...........you now I see..........even when I close my eyes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"shit, shit, shit, we're losing him"
"CHARGING 360 CLEAR"
Well I hope it was worth the wait for y'all. I'm gonna wait for feedback and then I may write an epilogue, just depends on whether you want me to give you an ending or you'd prefer to dream up your own.
It's in your hands.
Sorry for the delay folks, I hope you like this as it's my first venture into the musical realm.
The lyrics used in this chapter are from the track ~With You~ by Linkin Park and no infringement is intended.
I'm sorry if I have any geographical errors I'm not all that familiar with New York having never been there.
once again all feedback most gratefully accepted.
CHAPTER 7
The nightmares had taken over once again, in the four days since he'd been released all forms of communication from Steven had dried up, Frank knew he was doing this to prolong the game, he was twisting the knife even further in his perverse quest for.....for........what?.
Sleep was not coming easily to Frank Donovan, the thoughts were clouding his head, the words were dancing in front of his eyes .........hate.........deceit........revenge.........why?.......why?.
He wasn't finding any answers, not tonight anyhow!
Jenna watched as he tossed and turned, he seemed to be having a wrestling match with his concience and memory. Sweat was escaping in rivulets tracing a path down the smooth skin of his chest, but still he remained icy cold, she could only imagine the torture that he was putting himself through to get some answers.
Sadly she got out of bed and went to look to the little ones who were sleeping nearby, she needed some comfort, unfortunately her husband was not in any mental shape to provide it, he had his own needs to battle with first.
She couldn't stop the first tear as it fell onto her cheek "Jesus woman, get a grip on yourself" she chided.
By the time Frank found her tears had given way to huge racking sobs, she was hunched up on the floor against the wall oblivious to anything but grief.
"Oh Jenna what am I doing to you?" he whispered in her ear as he gathered her up in his arms and held on to her as tightly as he could.
"It's not your fault, please believe I don't blame you for any of this" she cried "It's just that I'm on the edge and I don't know how much longer I can take any of this, I'm trying to be strong, I'm trying to support you, but you're just shutting me out, I can't get through to you anymore"
"Oh God, no" he sighed. "Please don't tell me I've been doing that, I've been a selfish bastard in the past, but that was before you and the kids came along, I guess I still find it hard to let anyone inside when I can't deal with things, but you have to believe that I love you with all my heart and I don't mean to do it intentionally, I wouldn't hurt you for the world" he knew he was babbling but he didn't care he had to make her believe him.
They continued to hold on to each other for what seemed like an eternity and eventually Frank gave in to the grief himself and finally opened up to his wife.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------
Steven Rosen had not been idle the past few days, he knew his brother would be torturing himself "good" he thought "he deserves everything I have in store for him"
He sealed the envelope containing his directions for his brother to follow, he knew he was on top and in control. For the first time in his entire life he knew that he had the upper hand and that only one of them was walking away.
"I'll see you tomorrow David" he chuckled as he addressed the envelope to Alex before arranging delivery.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------
Alex froze, "Oh god" she thought "this is it"
The expression on Franks face was a mixture of resignation and relief that maybe now he was going to get the answers that he craved.
"Well I believe it's showtime then" he said bitterly
According to the letter Frank was to wait for Steven at the N.E. corner of central park, alone at six p.m. that evening.
According to the team that was exectly what he wasn't going to do, no way was he doing this without their backup.
"I'm going alone" stated Frank loudly making himself heard over the rest of them.
"What the hell, are you completely crazed?" shouted Jake "stupidity like that is suicidal, you know he's after your head don't you, think about it Frank, all this bastard wants to do is take you down or out or both, and you're just going to give him the satisfaction of walking straight into it" he raged.
Frank had him by the collar up against the wall in a split second "That bastard as you so eloquently put it, just happens to be the same flesh and blood as me, and as for thinking about it, why do you think it is that I haven't slept for the past few weeks, It's all........... I've had to think about" he said drily, slowly letting go of Jake's collar. "Don't even try to imagine what all this has done to me and how I feel, you'd never even begin to come close to understanding"
The ringing of the telephone halted the scene being played out, Frank picked it up desperate for something to break the tension. "Donovan" he said. The expression on his face changed from one of anger to one of resignation, he spoke only a few words, the last ones being "I always keep my word"
"Who was that" asked Cody, he had a trace on the line but the caller hadn't hung around long enough.
"Jenna" answered Frank "She wasn't best pleased with me when I left the hotel this morning, this whole thing has put a huge strain on her and at the moment I'm not helping, so if you'll excuse me I think I'd better go and rescue what I have left of my marriage" he said leaving the room at speed.
"Jeez" whistled Monica looking at Robert and the rest of them "is any one of you buying that?"
All of them shook their heads in unison, they were indeed not buying that line, the Frank and Jenna they knew would make sure they stuck together through anything, they had a lot more fight and guts in them.
"Jake, you're the best one for this, go now, only make sure you don't lose him or I'll shoot you myself" said Robert grimly.
Jake was out of the door and on Frank's tail at lightening speed, hoping that the inner turmoil Donovan was fighting would dull his instincts. Jake knew he was good, but Frank was the master at shaking off surveillance. Frank's state of mind was the only asset Jake had working in his favour.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------
Twisting and turning through the streets of New York was definitely not an easy task, with the added pressure of keeping up with Frank Donovan and remaining invisible, it was starting to take it's toll on Jake. He was phoning in every few minutes to let the others know where he was.
At last he saw Donovan entering an apartment building, thank God, he could now stop chasing and hopefully give the rest of the team time to catch up.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------
Frank made his way to the rooftop apartment as he'd been told to, he knew Steven would be waiting for him. He took a deep breath and walked into the apartment through the already open door.
"Close the door David and come outside and join me" said Steven calmly.
Looking his brother in the eye Frank equally as calmly stated "I don't go by that name anymore Steven as well you know"
"Oh yes you're the great Frank Donovan now aren't you?" he sneered. "Anna never did get used to the hated Donovan name"
"Is this what this whole thing has been about Steven, you not being able to get over losing out to me over Anna" Frank questioned.
"Nice view from here, don't you think FRANK" said Steven sarcastically "Anna so loved it out here in the summertime"
"Look you can take it out on me all you like Steven but leave Anna out of this, you know nothing about what Anna liked and didn't like, you're just making this whole sorry story up as you go along aren't you?"
"I know she's dead and I know that you must be the one responsible for it, she told me that you let her down, that you loved your job more than her, that you abandoned her when she really needed you" taunted Steven.
"STOP......... stop it now" raged Frank, confusing, upsetting thoughts rampaging through his brain.
Steven was laughing maniacally now " You still don't get it do you brother dear"
"Get what, Steven for Christsakes.........get what?"
"In the end you lost her to me Frank, for the last six months of her life Anna was happy with me"
Steven waited for the look of pure horror to register on his brothers face before continuing his tirade.
"Anna and I were lovers Frank, she turned to me when you deserted her in favour of the job, she was living a lie with you, just waiting for the opportunity to leave you and come and live here in this very apartment with me. I made her happy, you just made her miserable"
"You lying bastard, don't you dare speak to me about her in that way" screamed Frank landing a punch squarely into Stevens face.
Steven got up examining the blood that appeared on the back of his hand as he touched his bottom lip and smiled. "Just take a look at the letter on the table, I think it just about confirms what I've been saying to you"
Frank picked up the piece of paper on the table and studied it intently, a look of devastation took over his whole face as he read Anna's loving words to Steven, making a mockery of the time that he'd spent trying to love her and get close to her again after the attack on them. Never in his time on this earth had he felt so totally betrayed by someone he'd worshiped with his very self. He could feel all the fight pouring out of him as he sank to the floor in a gesture of total defeat and despair cradling his head in his hands trying to block out the pain he felt tearing at his heart.
Steven let the silence continue, he wanted Frank to be devastated, he wanted him to be totally blown away with grief, just as he'd been consumed by the very same grief on learning of Anna's death.
Frank by this time had managed to compose himself just enough to deal the killer blow to Steven.
"Anna was carrying a child when she took her life, did she tell you that?" asked Frank.
"You're lying, lying, just trying to make me feel bad about it, when you're the one to blame" Steven screamed.
"There's a copy of the medical report still filed at the coroners office if you don't believe me"
"No, no, no, no, no, this is too much, just who's baby was it ?????" screamed Steven.
"I guess we'll never find out now will we" laughed Frank hysterically.
"so you see Anna screwed us both.............. literally"
Frank was taken totally off guard by Steven's attack, they were out on the rooftop terrace, trading punches and kicks blow for blow by this time. Steven was like a maniac who didn't now care whether he lived or died, Frank however knew he had a lot to live for, he had a wife and family to go home to.
Steven made a startling lunge towards his brother trying to knock him completely off balance, but in doing so lost his own balance and was catapaulted over the terrace, he grabbed the one thing he could reach before going over the edge....................Frank.
"Jesus Christ" screamed Jake as he saw the two bodies topple over the edge, he was on his cell dialing 911 as he ran towards the sidewalk the now unmoving bodies led on, both twisted out of shape with the force of the fall from the five storey building.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------
The light was blinding, the pain intense and sickening "Can't feel my legs" he thought, then as he lapsed back into unconsciousness his mind began to play tricks.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------
"Get the spinal board, we need a collar over here now, multiple fractures" screamed the paramedic.
"We need to get an I.V. line in NOW, get an airway in quickly, hurry up we need that line in yesterday"
"Shit, pulse is slowing, I'm not getting any output, he's gone into V.F. commencing CPR"
1.......2.......3......4.......5.....breath
1.......2.......3......4........5....breath
~~~~~~~~~~~
I woke up in a dream today to the cold of the static ......put my cold feet on the floor
forgot all about yesterday
remembering I'm pretending to be who i'm not anymore
a little taste of hypocrisy
and I'm left in the wake of the mistake........slow to react
even though you're so close to me
you're still so distant.........and I can't bring you back
~~~~~~~~~~~~
1.......2.......3......4........5....breath
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's true.............. the way I feel
was promised by your face
the sound of your voice
painted on my memories
even if you're not with me
I'm with you
~~~~~~~~~~~~
1.......2.....3.......4......5....breath
~~~~~~~~~~~~
with you........now I see.........keeping everything inside
with you........now I see.........even when I close my eyes
~~~~~~~~~~~~
" still no output, keep going"
1.......2......3......4......5...breath
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I hit you and you hit me back
we fall to the floor............the rest of the day stands still
fine line between this and that
when things go wrong I pretend that the past isn't real
now I'm trapped in this memory
and I'm left in the wake of the mistake.............slow to react
so even though you're so close to me
you're still so distant...............and I can't bring you back
~~~~~~~~~~~~
1......2.......3.......4......5.......breath
"keep going for Christssakes"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's true.............. the way I feel
was promised by your face
the sound of your voice
painted on my menories
even if you're not with me
I'm with you
you........now I see.........keeping everything inside
with you........now I see.........even when I close my eyes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"still no output, get the paddles, charging 200........clear"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
with you........now I see.........keeping everything inside
with you........now I see.........even when I close my eyes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"still in V.F. charging 250, clear"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
no.......no matter how far we've come
I can't wait to see tomorrow
no matter how far we've come I..............I can't wait to see tomorrow
with you...........you now I see.........keeping everything inside
with you...........you now I see..........even when I close my eyes
with you...........you now I see..........keeping everything inside
with you...........you now I see..........even when I close my eyes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"shit, shit, shit, we're losing him"
"CHARGING 360 CLEAR"
Well I hope it was worth the wait for y'all. I'm gonna wait for feedback and then I may write an epilogue, just depends on whether you want me to give you an ending or you'd prefer to dream up your own.
It's in your hands.