Author: pandora1017
Rating: R [I think]
Content: Slash, language, mockery...
Characters:
Um... most of 'em. I'll try to label them as I go. None of them are mine, not that I would want any of these brats...
.
Danielle was so excited! The WWF...er, E, was coming to her hometown! Not only that, she'd won tickets from her favorite radio station to meet any wrestler of her choice after the show! Like, wow!
"Stop. Stop right there."
"Who said that?" I ask, looking around nervously. I finally see a female figure leaning against my door. She steps into the light and I notice it's me... kind of. I... er, she crosses the room and sits in my recliner, making herself comfortable. Might as well, I figure, it's her room, too. "Who are you?"
"I'm you," she says, smirking. "In muse form. But you can call me Mary Sue. To save confusion."
"It's a bit late for that."
"I'm here to help with your new fic."
"Oh," I sigh, disappointed. "I was kinda hoping that Matt Hardy muse would help me with this one..."
"You would," she says, smirking still. "You're going to make Christian muse jealous if you keep this up."
I blush. "Speaking of... where are those two? Where are any of my muses?"
"You don't know? Real musi run for the hills at the slightest hint of a Mary Sue. You're getting greedy, and they know it. But don't worry, I'll help you."
"Um, ok."
"First, that name..."
"Danielle?"
"Yeah, it's got to go."
"Um, I'm kind of partial to it... it's my name."
"Sweetie, this is your story. You can do what ever you want. Don't you want a cooler name?"
"Danielle's a cool name..."
She looks at me blankly.
"Um, ok. What should I use?"
"Something with switched letters. We'll start simple. Replace 'I's with 'Y's."
"Like, Danyelle?"
Mary Sue rolls her eyes.
"Um, ok. Krystine?"
"Where the hell did you get a dumbass name like that?"
"It's my middle name!"
"Try... Killian."
"That doesn't have any switched letters."
Mary Sue raises a brow. "If you want my help, you're going to have to learn to ignore contradictions..."
"Oh. Ok. So, name myself after a beer?"
"Do you want my help?"
I sigh, still no sign of my regular musi. "Yeah, I guess."
"Killian it is. Now, a WWE event in your hometown? How lame. You're family. A sister, or a daughter."
"Whose?"
"Undertaker."
My eyes grow to the size of plates. "Please, no, anything but that."
"Anything?" Mary Sue asks, her eyes glinting.
I take a deep breath. Can it get any worse? "Anything."
"Paul Heyman's. Daughter."
I'm actually speechless. Mary Sue is amused. Once I find my tongue, I try to bargain. "Maven's sister?"
Mary Sue sighs. "Ok. Now type."
"Killian! Are you coming or not?"
I checked my reflection in the bathroom mirror once more before running down the stairs to meet my brother. "I'm ready!"
Maven smiled. "Took ya long enough. I'm going to be late!"
"Not if you let me drive."
"Not if my life depended on it," he joked back, grabbing his duffel bag and opening the door. We get to the car and he throws his bag in the backseat.
"So you're going to introduce me to all the guys?" I asked, excitedly. Maven smirked at me, knowing what I really meant was 'You're going to introduce me to all the big, hot wrestlers, right?'
"Sure, whoever you want to meet."
I grinned. This is going to be great.
"Of course, you are mostly coming to see your big brother wrestle, right?"
"Oh, of course," I answered, smiling innocently.
Maven grinned again and we left for the arena.
"You're getting the idea now," Mary Sue encourages. "Keep it up, I'm going to get a soda."
"Um, ok..." I stare blankly at the screen again. Mary Sue doesn't seem to realize that I don't write these stories, the musi do. I sigh, running my fingers over the keys idly. "God, I need a muse..."
On request, I feel hands on my shoulders. Ah, a muse. I smile to myself and look up to see who's come to help me. It's Lita muse.
"Hey, sweetie," I grin.
"How's it goin', kid?"
"Not so good."
Lita muse grabs a chair, spins it around, and sits backwards in the chair next to me, scanning my story quickly. "That's what happens when you write Mary Sue."
"Oh."
"I'm here to help, though," she winks.
"Thank you!"
"No problem. I have a plan that might bring some of the guys back."
"Yeah?" I ask, perking up.
"Yeah. Just follow my lead. And don't let Mary Sue know I dropped by. She doesn't like us."
"Us?"
"Your other musi."
"Oh. I don't like her much."
"Yeah, I know. Well, she'll be back any second. Write me in and I'll take it from there."
"Sure," I nod, grinning.
"If all goes to plan, this should get rid of Mary Sue for good."
"Sweet," I grin. Lita muse leaves as Mary Sue enters, settling back in the recliner with a Diet Pepsi.
"This is it," Maven announced, holding his hands up as if he were presenting the arena to me.
"Well, let's go in!" I call, taking his hand and starting to run to the arena. He tugs my hand to slow me down with a laugh.
"It's not going anywhere, take your time."
"Aren't you excited?"
"Of course I am, but I'm not going to run to the arena."
"Whatever," I stick my tongue out at him and take off to the arena.
"Um, shouldn't security stop me here?"
"No," Mary Sue responds, rolling her eyes. "Keep going."
As soon as we entered, Maven was acosted by Al Snow. "Hey, we've got a match early tonight, get down to the ring so we can practice."
"What about my sister?"
Al noticed me then, giving me a once over. "Um, Amy's around somewhere. I bet she'd be willing to have a shadow for the evening."
"Amy?" I asked, confused.
Maven turned to me and whispered, "Lita."
"Oh! Cool! That'd be great!"
Al nodded. "Go down this hall and I'm sure you'll run into her. I have to take your brother."
"Ok! Good luck, Maven!"
Maven grinned. "Thanks, Killi."
I watched those two walk away, then turned in the direction that Al had directed.
"Securi-?"
Mary Sue just shakes her head.
After a moment, I found Amy, stretching against a wall. I stood in awe for a moment. My hero was right before my eyes. I cleared my throat and she turned to me, slightly startled. "Um, hi."
"She calls security?"
Mary Sue doesn't even respond.
"Hey there. Can I help you?"
"I'm Maven's sister, Killian."
"Oh, nice to meet you," she smiled.
"Same!" I exclaimed. "You are the coolest!"
Amy grinned. "Why, thank you. What can I do for you?"
"Um, Al said that you might not mind a shadow for the evening, since I can't follow Maven around..."
"I can do that," she smiled, then winked at me. "I'll give you the grand tour. Show you how things work around here."
"Sweet!" I grinned.
"See? Your hero's your best friend. That's what I'm all about," Mary Sue says, with a slight smirk. "Next you choose your boyfriend. Do you want Matt or Christian?"
I shrug, nervously. "Um, they're both nice..."
"You have to be decisive. You get what you want. Write which one you want."
"Um, ok."
"Do you have any chips?" she asks, suddenly. I look at her, confused, and nod, pointing towards the kitchen. "Be right back. Decide who you want before I get back!"
"Um, ok."
As she leaves, I sigh. Where is the back-up Lita muse referred to? Hell, where did Lita muse go? I drop my chin into my hands, giving up and trying to make the impossible decision between Matt and Christian.
"Y'can't have either of us," a very recognizable voice drawls. I smile before turning to see Matt muse enter, hand in hand with Christian muse.
"No!" I exclaim, through laughter. "That'll scare the hell out of Mary Sue!"
"Isn't that the point?" Christian muse asks, smirking.
"You two are terrible!" I chide, still laughing.
They shrug.
"Yeah, Ah think we need t'be punished. Christian? Do th'honors?" Matt muse smirks.
"Oh, no, guys, not here, I can't take it!" I try to repress a dirty grin. "Go find another room!"
"Absolutely," Christian muse does his best impression of Matt's drawl - which isn't much - and leads his current fling out of my room to go do whatever it is Slash Musi in love do. They bump into Lita muse entering as they leave and she shakes her head, grinning, and comes to check on me.
"Better yet?"
"Getting there. Chapter two is really shaping up."
"Oh, sweetie, you don't even know the half," Lita muse smirks.