"Oh, everyone! Matt, Jeff, Edge, Christian, Chris Jericho, Triple H, Lance Storm -"
Amy laughed. "Or who, I guess."
I blushed. "Sorry..."
"No, it's fine, we can see who's around."
I grinned. "So, are you and Matt really an item?"
Amy raised a brow at me, then smiled. "God no!"
I felt a rush of happiness. He was single!
Mary Sue nods approvingly.
"Wow, that's great, see, 'cause I have this huge crush on him."
Amy hesitated. "Oh, um, maybe we'd better not go this way..."
She started to turn away, but I stopped in the hall. "Why not?"
"I just don't think..."
I knitted my brow, then turned back the direction we had been heading. "What's over here..."
I trailed off as I found what Amy had been trying to protect me from. There, right in front of me, Matt Hardy was sitting on a tech case with Christian sitting on his lap. They were kissing.
Mary Sue spits out a mouthful of Diet Pepsi.
"I didn't muse that!"
I just shrug and smile to myself.
"Delete that!"
"Delete?" I ask, innocently.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"I didn't write it, it was mused."
"Not by me!!"
"Do you see any other musi? You said yourself that they all left..."
Mary Sue growls under her breath and sits back down. "Fine. Continue."
Amy cleared her throat. "Matt! Jay!"
The two looked up quickly and Jay jumped off Matt's lap. Matt's dark eyes grew wide with fear and he dove off the case, kneeling in front of Amy and tugging on the knees of her pants. "Please, please, don't tell Jeff!"
"Jesus Christ, Matt, he's your brother! The only reason I won't tell him is that it kills me to see him moping around after he catches you cheating on him..."
Mary Sue's eyes grow wide and she just gawks.
"What the hell is going on?!"
"Would you pipe down? I'm trying to write here..."
"No!" she jumps out of the chair and stomps her foot indignantly. "I cannot let this happen! Christian is not gay! Matt is not gay! Jeff is not gay!"
"Yeah Ah am," a quiet voice adds. I turn suddenly and see Jeff muse strolling through the door with his hands inhis pockets and a smirk on his face.
"Jeffro!"
He grins at me before turning back to Mary Sue. "An' Ah'm in love with m'brother."
"No!" she shreiks again. "Not on my watch!"
Jeff muse looks to me, arching an eyebrow, and I nod in approval. He grabs Mary Sue and drags her back down to the recliner with him, holding her tight so she can't fight. "You jus' sit back and enjoy th'ride, sweetie!"
For the first time, I see someone try to get out of the grip of Jeff muse. Jeff muse, however, doesn't allow it. "Ok, Yelle, Ah'm here for ya, let's write something."
"You bet..."
"Wait!"
I look up, startled - the protest didn't come from Mary Sue. Matt muse and Christian muse come back in, straightening their clothes and re-tying back their hair.
"We want in on this," Christian muse informs me.
"Absolutely," I grin. "Pull up some space."
Matt muse sits on the floor and lets Christian muse sit between his legs so he can lean back on him.
"Jeezy creezy, guys," Jeff muse moans.
"What?" Christian muse smirks, resting his elbows on Matt muse's knees. "Jealous?"
"Not of you," Jeff muse grins. "Of him."
Mary Sue turns green.
"Come on, Danielle!" Matt muse encourages, ignoring Mary Sue. "Write!"
Matt jumped back up and embraced Amy. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
Amy gets a slightly disgusted look on her face and pats his back awkwardly. "So I take it this is the last time?"
"Like hell!" Jay snorted, adjusting his shirt proudly and stalking off.
Matt let go of Amy, blushing. Amy shook a chiding finger in Matt's face. "I don't see how you can do that to Jeff. If you don't love him anymore, you have to break it off."
"It's not that I don't love Jeff... I do. It's just that Jay is...
"Adorable?" Christian muse supplies, batting his gorgeous eyes at Matt muse. Matt muse smiles and wraps his arms around Christian muse. Mary Sue turns slightly greener.
"Can y'get her a trash can? Ah don't want her t'ralph on me..." Jeff muse moans.
I pass the trash can over to Jeff muse just in case.
"Hey, wait a minute!" Matt muse snaps out of his little reverie with Christian muse. "What happened t'my accent?"
Mary Sue narrows her eyes. "I still have some control."
"Don't worry about it," Christian muse says, smirking. "It makes you sound smarter."
Matt muse looks sideways at Christian muse and clocks him playfully. "Fine, leave it out."
"Can I go on?"
The musi nod at me encouragingly except Mary Sue who still adamantly shakes her head no.
...adorable."
"Well, you can't have both," Amy said. "You're just going to end up hurting someone."
Matt hesitated, with a far off look in his eyes. "Have both?"
"No -!"
Mary Sue was cut off as Jeff muse clamped a hand over her mouth.
Amy rolled her eyes, then smiled slightly. "If you can pull that one off, sweetie, more power to you."
"It shouldn't be that hard. Jeff had a thing of Jay a while ago... Have you seen Jeff around?"
Amy pointed behind her. "I think he's in his locker room."
Matt's eyes lit up. "I'll be back!"
Mary Sue clears her throat and we grudgingly turn our attention to her.
"Seeing how this is my story, can I please be in it?"
My musi exchange glances and Christian muse sighs heavily. "I'll take her. We could use some comedy - this is getting too lovey dovey."
"Are y'complainin'? Y'get me, and Ah called ya adorable, " Matt muse smirks.
Christian muse rolls his eyes. "Thanks, sweetie, but let's move on. As soon as we finish this, we can get back to my Chris Jericho story..."
At that, Y2J muse, who thinks he's straight, starts to enter to help Mary Sue, but runs in fear when Christian muse blows him a kiss. Christian muse just snickers. "He's so much fun."
"I'm so much fun!" a new voice announces. We all turn to see Edge muse jump in the doorway, wearing a clown suit - face paint and all. "Did you say comedy? Comedy's my middle name!"
A cricket chirps.
"Guys?" Edge muse squeaks his clown nose to no response. Finally, Christian muse sighs.
"Edge, darling, go lose that stupid get up and help us write this story."
Edge muse's face falls and he leaves, changes into normal clothes and comes back. "Better?"
"Yes!" They all shout. Even Mary Sue agrees.
Edge muse sticks his tongue out at us. "Spoilsports."
I backed away from Matt and Amy, slightly unnerved. I hadn't really expected the love of my life to be in love [in the squicky way] with his brother and cheating on him with the other love of my life. As Matt went searching for Jeff, Amy chased after him, curious to see what would happen. I sighed. "Now what do I do?"
"Look, Matt -" a voice called from behind me. I turned to find that Jay had returned. I looked up and realized how close she was to one of my favorite wrestlers ever.
"He, um... went to look for Jeff..."
"Dammit," Jay scowled.
"I think he was proposing the idea to him of maybe a three-way relationship between the three of you..."
Jay looked up with a smile. "Really?"
I smiled hesitantly. It wasn't right to see my soulmate so excited about being with not one, but two other men. "Yeah."
"Awesome!" Jay clapped his hands once, excitedly, then looked back to me. "Who are you, anyway?"
"I'm Killian. Maven's sister."
"Oh," Jay said, knitting his brow. "Ok. What are you doing here?"
"Come to think of it, you're the first person to ask me that," I scratched my chin, puzzled, but shrugged it off. "Well, Amy was showing me around, but she took off with Matt. Right now, I'm not doing anything."
"Well, come on. Let's go find something to do."
Before we even went five feet, Vince McMahon came down the hall, strutting as usual. "Ah, Christian! Just the man I was looking for."
"Ah, Jason, sir."
"Right, right, quit trying to confuse things," Vince ordered. Jay nodded and looked to the ground. "Anyway, we need another match for the night, and I was hoping you could do it. Maybe tag with your brother."
"Um, Adam's not really my brother..."
"What have I told you about that?"
"Sorry, sir."
"Right. And it can be against..." Vince stroked his chin thoughtfully and his eyes fell on me. "Who are you?"
"Maven's little sister, Killian. I'm -"
"Great, great. Tonight, in this very ring -"
"Sir, we're not in the -"
"Christian..." Vince started, warningly.
"Sorry, sir," Jay looked back to the ground.
"As I was saying, tonight, in this very ring, it will be the tag team of Edge and Christian against... Killian."
"Um -" I started, but Vince was already moving on.
"Who the hell did that?!" Christian muse looks around, accusingly, but his eyes quickly fall on Mary Sue. She smirks. "Fine, you want to play like that? Yelle, let's go."
"Wait, wait, Edge and Christian are fighting on TV!" I argue. "And they have been as long as Maven's been around. It doesn't make sense!"
Mary Sue narrows her eyes, still smirking. "I'm Mary Sue. I'm above logic."
"Above, below," Edge muse shrugs, "same difference."
"Sheesh," Jay rolled his eyes. "Next thing you know, you'll be WWE Undisputed Champion."
Mary Sue smirks.
"It was a joke!" Christian muse yells at her.
"Well, let's go find Adam. We can plot out the match."
"Ok!" I nodded excitedly. Edge was cute. Maybe he was straight...
Edge muse snorts. "Don't hold your breath."
After running across Adam on the way to the ring, the three of us were finally able to start planning the match.
"Ok, how do you want to start?"
"Um..."
Adam blinked. "Do you know how to wrestle?"
"Not really..."
Adam threw up his hands in disgust. "She doesn't even know how to wrestle!"
Edge muse glares at Mary Sue. "You book yourself in a match, but you can't wrestle?"
"Danielle knows a little judo..." Mary Sue defends.
I sigh and hang my head. "I lost three times at the last competition. I was beat by two girls who have been learning it half as long as I have and one who was, like, half my age and half my weight. None of my matches lasted longer than fifteen seconds, I don't think. Thanks for bringing that up, bitch."
Christian muse unwraps himself from Matt's arm and comes to console me. "It'll be ok, sweetie. We'll teach her to wrestle."
"Thanks, honey," I sigh, composing myself. Christian muse nods, satisfied, and goes back to Matt muse.
"It's all right, we'll just have to teach her," Jay shrugged. "I'm sure she's a quick learner. What do you want to learn first?"
"A throw?"
"A throw?" Adam repeated, disgusted. "A shoulder back drop? A fallaway slam? A toss? A suplex? A -?"
"A suplex!"
"Do you know anything about wrestling?" Jay asked, double checking.
"Um..."
"Good God..." Jay put his hand to his head.
"Ok, ok," Adam shook his hands, reinserting himself in the conversation. "What kind of suplex?"
"Kind?"
"For the love of..." Jay groaned.
"They're not supposed to be mean to me! This is a Mary Sue! Everyone in the WWE is supposed to love me!"
"Honey," Edge muse explains to Mary Sue dryly, "You're female. No one in the WWE loves women."
"No! This isn't how Mary Sue works!"
"No," says Jeff muse. "This is how real fan fiction works. Keep going, Yelle."
"Double arm suplex, tiger suplex, german suplex, dragon suplex, rolling suplexes, superplex..." Adam started rattling off a list of suplexes.
"Which is which?" I asked, knitting my brow.
Adam sighed and grabbed Jay from behind, and suplexed him.
"Hey!" Jay called, not ready for that.
Edge muse snickers, earning a dirty look from Christian muse.
"That was a German suplex. If I do this," Adam picked Jay back up and hit three successive german suplexes, "those are rolling suplexes."
"Adam!" Jay yelled, holding his head.
"And this," Adam began, suplexing Jay once more, "Suplex with a bridge."
"Adam Copeland!" Jay yelled, breaking out of the pin and rolling on the ground in pain.
"Oh," I nodded, knowingly, as we blithely ignored Jay's pain. "I don't think I can do any of those, I'm not strong enough."
"I figured," Adam rolled his eyes.
"Oh, you think you're so funny," Christian muse practically growls at Edge muse. "My turn."
"Maybe a submission hold?" I suggested.
Jay climbed to his feet. "I got this one."
Before anyone knew what was happening, Jay clubbed Adam to the back of the neck, knocking him down, and locked in a Boston Crab. "This is..."
"The Walls of Jericho!" I exclaimed, proud of myself for knowing something.
"Um, a Boston Crab, actually," Jay corrected. Adam feverently pounded on the mat, trying to tap out. Jay let go of one of his legs. "And the half Boston Crab."
"Jesus Christ, Jay, if you don't let me go right now..." Adam cut off with a cry of pain as Jay swung around and turned the half Boston Crab into an ankle lock.
"Ankle lock," Jay explained, deriving some pleasure from his revenge for the suplexes.
"Ha ha," Edge muse laughs, keeping a straight face. "It's war now."
Adam rolled over and kicked Jay in the face, knocking him back.
"Want to see a figure four?" Adam asked, grinning that psycho grin of his. I didn't get a chance to respond.
"No!" Jay yelled in shock, but Adam locked in the hold with a sadistic, vengeful smirk.
"Yelle..." Christian muse pouted.
Jay struggled momentarily before looking at me again. "You want to know how to get out of this?"
It was Adam's turn to protest. "No!"
"Just roll over," Jay explained, doing so after a moment of struggling. Adam's face turned into a hideous grimace and he began pounding on the mat again.
"What's this, a party?" Triple H muse asks, entering the room following his shower, dressed only in his towel. Mary Sue's eyes light up as his eyes fall on her. "Who's she?"
"I'm Mary -"
"Baby!" Edge muse cuts her off and runs to Triple H muse, jumping into his arms. Triple H muse catches him, caught off guard. "Christian muse is hurting me!"
Triple H muse sighs, sets Edge muse down, and hugs him consolingly. "Do I need to save you again, kid?"
Edge muse nods sadly and Triple H muse comes over to the computer, scanning the story quickly.
"Danielle? What is this crap?"
"She wrote it," I answer, pointing to Mary Sue who is near hysterics now, finding out that Triple H muse and Edge muse are slashy, too. Jeff muse is trying to console her - or maybe just shut her up - rather unsuccessfully.
"Ok, let me go get dressed and I'll play."
"No need," Christian muse smirks, and Matt muse hits him playfully again. Mary Sue breaks out in tears. Triple H muse shrugs and sits, still in just a towel, next to Edge muse on the floor.
I stood there, helpless, unsure of who to help or how to help them. Finally, someone else ran down to the ring, and I looked up surprised.
"Triple H!"
Adam looked over, hearing that. "Paul!"
Paul rolled his eyes, and stomped on Jay's back, almost laughing. "What are you doing?"
Jay rolled away from the mess and crawled into a corner, pointing at Adam. "He started it!"
Paul just rolled his eyes again, and started to help Adam up before being jumped by Jeff Hardy. Jay's eyes grew wide - he must have thought that Jeff only knocked down Paul to be able to get to Jay himself.
"Look, Jeff, I don't know what Amy told you, but it's not -"
Jay trailed off as Jeff knelt next to him and put a single finger on his mouth to stop him. "Amy didn't say anything, Matt did. And I agreed."
Jay sat there, dumbfounded, as Jeff proceeded to kiss him. Jay wasn't sure exactly what was said between the brothers, but he decided that it wasn't necessary to know.
A huge grin crosses Jeff muse's face as he has to hold Mary Sue tighter so she doesn't run away.
"Jeff!" Paul snaps, getting back to his feet. It might not have been Jeff's best idea to attack a guy Paul's size. I slid out of the ring, not wanting to get in the middle of this mess. Paul approached Jeff, his chest rising and falling angrily. He pointed to Jay. "What the hell was that?"
"Look," Jeff got back to his feet and into Paul's face, growling through clenched teeth. "Until you dump Adam and hook back up with me, it's obvious that you don't really love me, you're just using me for a booty call!
Triple H muse cracks up laughing and Jeff smirks. He was proud of that one. Mary Sue shudders, still crying.
...So I'm going to stay with someone who cares about me! Matt!" Jeff turned to look at Jay. "And Jay."
"Wait, wait," another person interrupted, sliding into the ring. I looked up to see Matt shove Paul out of the way and get in Jeff's face. "You were cheating on me with Paul?"
Jeff didn't back down. "Yeah. And you were cheating on me with Jay."
Matt's shoulders dropped, and he turned back to Paul. "I guess he's got me there... but, still..."
With that, Matt reached back and punched Paul in the face. Probably not one of his better ideas. Paul stood his ground for a second, but as he reached back to swing himself, he was stopped by Adam who stepped between Matt and Paul, seperating them.
"Stop! Stop!" Adam yelled. Matt watched Adam, wide-eyed, afraid he's picked a fight with a duo, as if Paul weren't enough on his own. Surprising everyone, though, Adam punched Paul in the face, knocking him down. "You were using Jeff for booty calls?!?"
Paul held his jaw in surprise, "Adam, honey..."
"Don't 'Adam, honey' me!" Adam fell down to his knees, attacking Paul brutally until Matt, Jay, and Jeff pulled him off. Adam turned to the closest arms for consolation, which happened to be Jay. "How could you? How could you?!"
Jay held onto him, smirking, and smoothed Adam's hair. It seemed as if there were even chemistry between those two.
"Boy, she's quick," Christian muse murmurs.
"Um," I cleared my throat. Everyone in the ring stopped and turned to me, standing on the outside. "If you all like each other... why are you fighting?"
They turned to look at each other, confused. "I mean, if you don't mind a threesome... what's wrong with a five-some?"
Everyone turns to look at Mary Sue, confused. She's sitting there, her face gone white as a sheet, as Jeff muse holds her down with a smirk and a hand firmly over her mouth.
"You're gettin' pretty good at that ventriloquist-musin', Jeff," Matt muse chuckles.
I could not believe I just said that! I threw both my hands over my mouth and ran up the ramp backstage as the men in the ring started to look at each other in a new light.
"Help!" I yelled, looking for anyone normal. "Maven?!"
With that, I fell down on my knees and started crying. Everything was going wrong! "I want to go home..."
"Oh, sweetie, it's ok," a soft voice answered me, setting a hand gently on my shoulder.
"A friend!" Mary Sue perks up, ready for any excuse to get away from these slashy musi. "Help me! Jericho muse?"
"Not quite," the 'new friend' responds. Lita muse comes back in the room, half smirking. Although she has no proof, Mary Sue seems to recognize that Lita muse was the one who set all this up. Lita muse works silently, coaxing all the other musi to leave. "You guys had your fun. It's time to finish this."
"Whatever," Christian muse pouts, sticking his tongue out at her as he leaves. "Like a straight muse like you could do anything to squick her out worse than we did."
"Oh, just you wait," she answers, winking at me.
Mary Sue grips the arms of my recliner, nervously. Lita muse looks to her with a slight smirk.
"Don't worry, kid, it's almost over."
Mary Sue gulps nervously.