A/N- These chapters aren't very long so I've decided to merge them into
one. Hey! I'm a poet and I don't know it.
This instalment is dedicated to Sharpe and Legolas' Girls, who have kept this Fic going with their great support and comments. Luv you heaps like fluffy sheeps girls!
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The Dairy of Aragorn Aged 42 and Three Quarters
June
Monday 1st June
Today, Elrond got a letter that made his face go white....he has been made redundant!
Apparently, there is no call for a Lord of Rivebdell anymore. He will be on the dole! Social Security will be buying my shoes from now on! Bill will have to go, he costs 75p a day to feed.
I am making Elrond lots of hot, sweet drinks for the shock. He just keeps going on about Rivendell, saying that he is going to spill the beans to the media.
Tuesday 2nd June
I am having a nervous breakdown. Nobody has noticed yet.
Wednesday 3rd June
Elrond is smoking and drinking heavily. He informed us at breakfast that he has been made temporarily impotent. Arwen got up and left the room.
July
Monday 6th July
Faramir and Eowyn are getting married. Arwen is organising a street party for the big event.
Thursday 16th July
Elrond get his redundancy cheque today. He did cowboy whoops up and down the hall.
Sunday 26th July
Went for tea at Gandalf's. I was sad and depressed because my life is pointless. Gandalf asked if I was constipated. I almost said something.
Tuesday 28th July
It's a wonder I have the strength to hold my pen!
I have been on the go alll day with preparations for the wedding. Rose Cotton asked if I would help to hang the bunting. I said ''I feel it is my patriotic duty.'' Rose said that if I climbed the ladder she would pass the bunting up to me. I was alright for the first four or five rungs, then I made the mistake of looking down and had a vertigo attack, so Rose did the climbing while I held the ladder. I couldn't help noticing Rose's knickers. They are surprisingly sexy for so someone from the Shire. Black lace! With red satin ribbons! I got the feeling that Rose knew I was looking at her knickers because she asked me to go and get Sam. I was glad when he came and took over from me.
Wednesday 29th July- Wedding
How proud I am to be a Gondorian!
The church was packed. Bilbo came down from the Shire, but he kept saying things like ''Parasites'' and ''The idle rich'' so Gandalf sent him back to the Shire. Faramir looked quite handsome considering he had Boromir for a brother. Eowyn melted my heartstrings in her dirty white dress. She even helped an old man up the aisle which I thought was very kind considering that it was her wedding day. Loads of famous people were there, Gloin, Denethor etc.
Faramir had remembered to take the price tag off the bottom of his shoes so that was one worry off my mind. Elrond had forgotten to take the price tags off at his wedding and everyone in the church red the label. It said ''9 and a half reject- 10 Shillings.''
After the ceremony we waved Faramir and Eowyn off on their honeymoon. They left on a very strange looking train. Celeborn said it only looked strange because it was clean.
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This instalment is dedicated to Sharpe and Legolas' Girls, who have kept this Fic going with their great support and comments. Luv you heaps like fluffy sheeps girls!
********************************************************************
The Dairy of Aragorn Aged 42 and Three Quarters
June
Monday 1st June
Today, Elrond got a letter that made his face go white....he has been made redundant!
Apparently, there is no call for a Lord of Rivebdell anymore. He will be on the dole! Social Security will be buying my shoes from now on! Bill will have to go, he costs 75p a day to feed.
I am making Elrond lots of hot, sweet drinks for the shock. He just keeps going on about Rivendell, saying that he is going to spill the beans to the media.
Tuesday 2nd June
I am having a nervous breakdown. Nobody has noticed yet.
Wednesday 3rd June
Elrond is smoking and drinking heavily. He informed us at breakfast that he has been made temporarily impotent. Arwen got up and left the room.
July
Monday 6th July
Faramir and Eowyn are getting married. Arwen is organising a street party for the big event.
Thursday 16th July
Elrond get his redundancy cheque today. He did cowboy whoops up and down the hall.
Sunday 26th July
Went for tea at Gandalf's. I was sad and depressed because my life is pointless. Gandalf asked if I was constipated. I almost said something.
Tuesday 28th July
It's a wonder I have the strength to hold my pen!
I have been on the go alll day with preparations for the wedding. Rose Cotton asked if I would help to hang the bunting. I said ''I feel it is my patriotic duty.'' Rose said that if I climbed the ladder she would pass the bunting up to me. I was alright for the first four or five rungs, then I made the mistake of looking down and had a vertigo attack, so Rose did the climbing while I held the ladder. I couldn't help noticing Rose's knickers. They are surprisingly sexy for so someone from the Shire. Black lace! With red satin ribbons! I got the feeling that Rose knew I was looking at her knickers because she asked me to go and get Sam. I was glad when he came and took over from me.
Wednesday 29th July- Wedding
How proud I am to be a Gondorian!
The church was packed. Bilbo came down from the Shire, but he kept saying things like ''Parasites'' and ''The idle rich'' so Gandalf sent him back to the Shire. Faramir looked quite handsome considering he had Boromir for a brother. Eowyn melted my heartstrings in her dirty white dress. She even helped an old man up the aisle which I thought was very kind considering that it was her wedding day. Loads of famous people were there, Gloin, Denethor etc.
Faramir had remembered to take the price tag off the bottom of his shoes so that was one worry off my mind. Elrond had forgotten to take the price tags off at his wedding and everyone in the church red the label. It said ''9 and a half reject- 10 Shillings.''
After the ceremony we waved Faramir and Eowyn off on their honeymoon. They left on a very strange looking train. Celeborn said it only looked strange because it was clean.
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