(-.-) Howday. I know my stuff has been ultra-serious and depressing
lately, so I decided to bring things back to the light side and write a
humor (muahaha). As much as I can wish, hope and dream, I do not own Obi-
Wan Kenobi or any other Star Wars original
character/theme/surrounding/yaddi yadda. But since this story is 95% fact-
based (excuse the 5% embellishment, I just threw in a couple things to make
it funnier and weirder), everybody else in here are my characters based on
my real classmates. If you're wondering where the names come from, I take
the first two letters of the person's first name and the first two letters
of the last name and voila, a new name. Cadi has returned, but she plays a
different role (high school student) then what you readers are used to (i.
e: the love of Obi-Wan's life). I like parenthesis. Again, all of this,
even the in-class dialogue (you'll see what I'm talking about), is all fact-
based, I just took it all and shoved it into the Star Wars universe for you
all to enjoy. So, enjoy! (-.-)
Story line: This fic is based on my Latin class and teacher, who is in his early/mid-twenties and who, well, how should I say this, hmmm, let's just say he's almost a carbon copy of Christian from Moulin Rouge, just with spikier hair (think Zoolander) and brownish-blackish eyes. So it was only right to make him Obi-Wan in this fic, who is forced to be a fill-in "Classic" instructor (Classic = Latin just as Basic = English) to some high- school level Jedi apprentices. Let's make Obi 23, since my teacher won't tell us his exact age, but doesn't look us in the eye when he says he's not 23. But anyway…
***
"Master, no, I can't do it," Obi-Wan repeated more profusely this time as he placed his hands on his hips in defiance.
"And why not? You got the highest grades in Classic when you took it at their age…" Qui-Gon's patient face was beginning to tighten.
"Because they'll eat me alive! They'll walk all over me, and play pranks, and talk consistently, and be too busy publicly groping each other to pay any attention to what I'm saying, and-"
"And how do you know that?" Qui-Gon raised an amused eyebrow.
"Because that's what I did in high school!" Obi-Wan stamped his foot.
"It's only for a month until Master Russo comes back," Qui-Gon pointed out.
Obi-Wan took up a begging position, "Master, please, please, PLEASE ask somebody else?"
***
Cadi threw a glance at her half-conscious reflection in the door of her metallic locker and noticed what a contrast her returning black roots made with the purple dye before scooping up her textbooks and heading down the hall to Classic. It was the start of the second term and rumor was that they'd hired a new Classic teacher to fill-in for Master Russo for the first month. She waved at her approaching friend, Cagi.
"Dude, we have so many classes together this term!" Cadi exclaimed happily.
"I know, it's awesome," Cagi tossed her long ruby-red hair behind her as she secured her bookbag on her shoulders, "Have you heard about Russo's replacement?"
"Only that there is one."
"Well, Nilli got a glimpse of him this morning- she says he's hot stuff," Cagi had an evil gleam in her eyes.
"Really? Good, this school needs it bad. Wait," Cadi stared at her, "you're talking about a teacher?"
"Mm-hmm," Cagi nodded, "word is he's barely older than we are."
"Shibby," Cadi grinned as she leaned on the doorknob to their Classic classroom. She and Cagi found seats close enough to each other, with Nilli, Dosa and Jorey close by. They exchanged greetings and sat down with anticipation.
Seconds after the period officially began, in walked god. Cadi's jaw dropped as she realized that Nilli's description of 'hot stuff' was an understatement. He was indeed only a few years older than all of they were, with perfect features from head to toe and an easy, equally perfect smile.
"Hey guys," he greeted as he dumped his stuff on the teacher's desk with obvious anxiety, "my name is Kenobi, I honestly don't know what you should call me because I'm not a Master yet, I'll be your Classic teacher for the next month, please check your schedules now to make sure you're in the right place," he took a breath and spread his hands, "any questions?"
"Will you marry me?" Cagi whispered to her circle of friends, drawing muffled laughter.
"Alright, so let me just run through your names and correct me if I mispronounce anything. Let's see…Do-sa?" he called out with uncertainty.
"Here," Dosa shot her hand up and down quickly, "the way you say it is fine," she answered his unasked question.
"Do-sa," he repeated, "that's how you like it?"
Dosa bit her lip and looked him up and down, "I like it however you like it." The class erupted with laughter. Obi-Wan looked around at them confusedly.
"Moving on," he said and continued down the list of names with no further difficulties. Suddenly a loud crunching noise sounded throughout the room: someone was eating. It was a morning class, this was nothing new, but it was new for Obi-Wan. He searched out the noise and found Kifa munching on some N&N's.
"Are those N&N's? No eating in class!" Obi watched for a second as Kifa did little but pass the bag around to share with others. "Can I have one?" he asked, finally getting Kifa's attention.
"Are you serious or are you just trying to rob me of my breakfast?" she asked as she passed the bag to Luos.
"Want?" Luos, who happened to be in a front seat, angled the bag toward Obi as he popped a few in his mouth. Obi took two out of the bag with a nod of thanks to Kifa, tossed them into the air and caught them in his mouth effortlessly.
"So," he said after the first N&N was clear of his tongue, "this is Classic level Two, through the course of the term we'll be touching upon-" Obi-Wan was interrupted by a loud click over the intercom followed by music no competent being would ever want to listen to. In a span of 30 seconds, all the students were gone. "Well," he mumbled to himself as he picked up his things, "that wasn't so bad."
(-.-) Stay tuned for Chapter 2, kids. (-.-)
Story line: This fic is based on my Latin class and teacher, who is in his early/mid-twenties and who, well, how should I say this, hmmm, let's just say he's almost a carbon copy of Christian from Moulin Rouge, just with spikier hair (think Zoolander) and brownish-blackish eyes. So it was only right to make him Obi-Wan in this fic, who is forced to be a fill-in "Classic" instructor (Classic = Latin just as Basic = English) to some high- school level Jedi apprentices. Let's make Obi 23, since my teacher won't tell us his exact age, but doesn't look us in the eye when he says he's not 23. But anyway…
***
"Master, no, I can't do it," Obi-Wan repeated more profusely this time as he placed his hands on his hips in defiance.
"And why not? You got the highest grades in Classic when you took it at their age…" Qui-Gon's patient face was beginning to tighten.
"Because they'll eat me alive! They'll walk all over me, and play pranks, and talk consistently, and be too busy publicly groping each other to pay any attention to what I'm saying, and-"
"And how do you know that?" Qui-Gon raised an amused eyebrow.
"Because that's what I did in high school!" Obi-Wan stamped his foot.
"It's only for a month until Master Russo comes back," Qui-Gon pointed out.
Obi-Wan took up a begging position, "Master, please, please, PLEASE ask somebody else?"
***
Cadi threw a glance at her half-conscious reflection in the door of her metallic locker and noticed what a contrast her returning black roots made with the purple dye before scooping up her textbooks and heading down the hall to Classic. It was the start of the second term and rumor was that they'd hired a new Classic teacher to fill-in for Master Russo for the first month. She waved at her approaching friend, Cagi.
"Dude, we have so many classes together this term!" Cadi exclaimed happily.
"I know, it's awesome," Cagi tossed her long ruby-red hair behind her as she secured her bookbag on her shoulders, "Have you heard about Russo's replacement?"
"Only that there is one."
"Well, Nilli got a glimpse of him this morning- she says he's hot stuff," Cagi had an evil gleam in her eyes.
"Really? Good, this school needs it bad. Wait," Cadi stared at her, "you're talking about a teacher?"
"Mm-hmm," Cagi nodded, "word is he's barely older than we are."
"Shibby," Cadi grinned as she leaned on the doorknob to their Classic classroom. She and Cagi found seats close enough to each other, with Nilli, Dosa and Jorey close by. They exchanged greetings and sat down with anticipation.
Seconds after the period officially began, in walked god. Cadi's jaw dropped as she realized that Nilli's description of 'hot stuff' was an understatement. He was indeed only a few years older than all of they were, with perfect features from head to toe and an easy, equally perfect smile.
"Hey guys," he greeted as he dumped his stuff on the teacher's desk with obvious anxiety, "my name is Kenobi, I honestly don't know what you should call me because I'm not a Master yet, I'll be your Classic teacher for the next month, please check your schedules now to make sure you're in the right place," he took a breath and spread his hands, "any questions?"
"Will you marry me?" Cagi whispered to her circle of friends, drawing muffled laughter.
"Alright, so let me just run through your names and correct me if I mispronounce anything. Let's see…Do-sa?" he called out with uncertainty.
"Here," Dosa shot her hand up and down quickly, "the way you say it is fine," she answered his unasked question.
"Do-sa," he repeated, "that's how you like it?"
Dosa bit her lip and looked him up and down, "I like it however you like it." The class erupted with laughter. Obi-Wan looked around at them confusedly.
"Moving on," he said and continued down the list of names with no further difficulties. Suddenly a loud crunching noise sounded throughout the room: someone was eating. It was a morning class, this was nothing new, but it was new for Obi-Wan. He searched out the noise and found Kifa munching on some N&N's.
"Are those N&N's? No eating in class!" Obi watched for a second as Kifa did little but pass the bag around to share with others. "Can I have one?" he asked, finally getting Kifa's attention.
"Are you serious or are you just trying to rob me of my breakfast?" she asked as she passed the bag to Luos.
"Want?" Luos, who happened to be in a front seat, angled the bag toward Obi as he popped a few in his mouth. Obi took two out of the bag with a nod of thanks to Kifa, tossed them into the air and caught them in his mouth effortlessly.
"So," he said after the first N&N was clear of his tongue, "this is Classic level Two, through the course of the term we'll be touching upon-" Obi-Wan was interrupted by a loud click over the intercom followed by music no competent being would ever want to listen to. In a span of 30 seconds, all the students were gone. "Well," he mumbled to himself as he picked up his things, "that wasn't so bad."
(-.-) Stay tuned for Chapter 2, kids. (-.-)