"Tell me the story of Lady Lillian." Lily murmured sleepily. This time they had stayed until the only people around were those from Hogwarts. James was leading her up to her room and this was possible the seventh time she had asked in the past hour.
"Later." James muttered equally sleepy. "I don't want you having nightmares."
"It's not that bad is it?" She asked as they got up to her room.
"It can be.. It takes too long to tell. Lily, just go to sleep." He said, sitting down in a huff, leaning on the wall next to her room. She closed the door softly behind her and he fell asleep to the sweet lullaby of her jewelry box.
"I swear, she is PMSing, one minute she's angry the next she's all romantical!" Munguldus whispered loudly as the boys of the Quidditch team joined Remus in his room.
"No." Sirius said. He hadn't spoken all night, and even though he said it quietly, it was still a surprise.
"What makes YOU the wise guy?" Ronan asked. "I am getting mighty sick of you acting like you're an expert on girls."
"Seven older sisters. SEVEN older sisters. All of them PMSing on different days of the week. Then add my mother, and my eight female cousins and my four aunts and my two grandmothers.." He began, but Remus shot him a look.
"Anyway, she's not PMSing. She's just going through mental withdrawal." Sirius said simply, grabbing for a cookie on the plate in front of Rafe. Rafe pulled the plate away.
"What do you mean?" Rafe demanded in a soft voice.
"I mean that she had a crush on him before, and she's trying her best to convince herself she doesn't like him. However, she has found the reasoning- What the hell? This is the last week I'll like him, the last week I'll give in. On the contrary, that philosophy never works." Sirius said simply, biting into the cookie he swiped. "Eww! Is this oatmeal?"
"Why is he blessed with the understanding of women?" Munguldus whined to Remus.
"Seven sisters, a mother, two grandmothers, eight female cousins, four aunts.." Remus began, but Ronan shushed him.
"That's about twenty-two females in one house. Does he ever get peace?" Rafe asked in wonder.
"Why do you think he spends his summers at James's house now?" Remus asked simply.
"Twenty-two females in one house.." Munguldus muttered. All of the boys shuddered in unison.
"Thirty." Sirius said.
"THIRTY?" Ronan, Rafe and Munguldus chorused.
"Eight godmothers." Remus explained.
"No wonder he is blessed." Rafe said.
"Let's see..." Ronan began. "That would be about five days out of the year without PMS. But he would only be able to enjoy three of them. One in July, one in August, and one in December during Christmas break."
"That is, if they don't skip." Munguldus pointed out. The boys shuddered again.
(A/N: If you want to know how these boys know sooo much about femininity, Sirius explained it all a long time ago.)
"What are we going to do today? I mean, we've done the sightseeing, the shopping.. The social calls, the balls, the opera.." Arabella said as the girls all prepared up in Lily's room, ticking off the events off her fingers.
"Social calls?" Lily wondered.
"You were sick that night." Helen pointed out.
"I haven't been sick since June 13th." Lily protested. "I don't get sick."
"You had a stomachache!" Missy protested.
"It was the night of Good night, Mister Potter. Remember?" Jenny asked with a yawn.
"YOU were the ones that didn't show up. It ended up me and James." Lily said, pinning up a curl furiously.
The girls suddenly remembered they slipped the plan, almost.
"Never mind. We need some more shots for the yearbook. And we do have a little report to write." Helen added smoothly, making Lily forget entirely.
"Yeah, I should have gotten some shots at the Pavilion in Town Park, some shots of Lillian Pond, the basics." Lily said. "I'm a horrible photographer though. I'll need Sirius with me."
"Why don't we split into two groups?" Helen asked with a lot of honey in her tone. "Three couples per group."
"Then where would James and I be stuck in. You know we're not dating." Lily pointed out.
Missy dropped her voice so only her accomplices could hear. "Yet."
Helen shot her a look. "Okay, we'll make five of the boys go with you, and Remus, yeah, Remus.. He's a good photographer.. He'll go with us. You supervise their pictures, Lil."
"This is perfect. Okay, um.. Let's see.. All of you are the Quidditch team boys.. Rafe, sit in the center. Sirius and Ronan, you guys kneel behind him. James and Munguldus, stand up behind them." Lily said, making big movements with her arms. "Perfect."
The camera flashed and clicked, and they got their shot on the bridge.
"Okay, how 'bout we have, um.. Stay there but do a silly shot." Lily said. Sirius acted like Marilyn Monroe in 'The Seven Year Itch', Rafe posed like a body-builder, Ronan was blowing kisses at the camera, Munguldus was doing a very weird disco move, and James crossed his eyes and tried to touch his nose with the tip of his tongue.
Lily giggled and snapped a few shots. "Any other ideas?"
"Let's go to the Pavilion. Get some romance shots of the couples around there." Sirius said instantly. Munguldus, Rafe, and Ronan were about to protest, but they caught on quickly.
"There's no one here, Sirius." Lily pointed out as a tumbleweed rolled by. "It's Lovers Lane but no one is here."
"We'll just have to improvise. This is one of the most romantic spots in all of England, and don't you refuse me this shot." Sirius said. "James, take Lily's hand and make goo-goo eyes at her." He got behind his camera and pointed to a spot on the spiraling path.
"WHAT?" Lily and James chorused.
"Helen, Arabella and Jackie would kill you if it wasn't otherwise." Sirius said as if they were from Jupiter.
"Fine." They pouted. However, they were good models. The shadows fell over them, so they were just silhouettes in the rising sun. It was quite a contrast to the dull green leaves of the hedges and the brown leaves on the concrete path. It was, in Sirius's words, quite romantical.
Everybody (including Sirius, he did a very odd self-portrait) took some shots at the Pavilion. When it came down to Lily, she had the boys crooning behind her like back-up singers and she was a USO entertainer, she had some shots of just goofing off, and finally, she dragged James to the steps of the green-roofed white pavilion.
"I should have gotten this shot on Tuesday." She whispered. She arranged it so that her, in her jeans and bright green sweater and some odd headband, was sitting on his lap and her arms were around his neck, and he, in a dark blue sweater and a pair of black jeans, had his arms around her waist. They looked quite cute, smiling like a happy couple with flushed cheeks and such towards the camera.
"This is a shot I'm going to keep." Sirius whispered as the camera flashed.
"Marauders?" Lily whispered to Remus, Sirius and James. This was a tradition that was never forgotten.
"Marauders to the bone." They chorused softly.
The four fifth years were donned completely in non-revealing black, with soft-soled boots so they could tiptoe, ski-hats and gloves. They had their pack of pranks behind them.
Madame Effex was checking in, dressed head-to-toe in bright pink leather, matching handbag, her peroxide-blonde hair in some odd pompadour, fluffier than usual, and a little ugly furry head poking out of her handbag. Her right heel was broken, she was heavily drunk, and with a bright pink cigarette holder loosely placed between her index and middle finger of her right hand.
"What's that?" Lily asked of the furball that was barking insanely.
Sirius stifled a very contagious laugh.
"That is Mister Bojangles, Madame Effex's dog. Pomeranian, I believe." Remus said. James and Sirius exchanged a look and burst out laughing.
"Shut up, you two.. Perfect.. She's dead drunk. She wouldn't recognize us as the culprit if it cost Mister Bojangles's life." Lily whispered excitedly. "Marauders?"
"To the bone." They whispered back. With a complicated handshake ending in a butt bump, the four split up.
Madame Effex was quite proud of herself. She had shaved her legs to a certain extent, and wore a bright pink leather mini-dress with a matching coat about the same length and a big, stand-up V collar. And Mister Bojangles was cooperation today. Let's see.. Monday was the Italian gigolo, Wednesday was the Mexican one, now a local wouldn't be too bad.. Or maybe a French one.. Hell, why not have both? She was giddy enough not to remember this decision unless Mister Bojangles joined her the next night..
Splat. The pins in Madame Effex's blonde hair came undone, and she gathered the nearest clump to her face. She wiped a rather stinky gunk from her hair and threw it to the floor. Mister Bojangles smelt of a whole bottle of cheap, feminine perfume, and pink powdered sugar exploded into the air, so not only was her hair covered in muck, but pinkish brown muck. And some scarlet and gold sparks erupted from the end of her cigarette, putting it out and reading in big, bright letters, Smoking is bad for you.
"Marauders?" Lily whispered as the four snuck back upstairs as people started running around in major chaos.
"To the bone." They whispered back. "Night, Lily."
"Night, MPP!" She called. She changed quickly into her silken nightclothes and put on a fabulous act of sleeping when the girls snuck into her room to inquire about the prank below.
A/N: Yes, I did use a bit of Ella Enchanted, and in a later chapter, I will. Do you like Mister Bojangles? He'll be appearing again, along with Sirius's duck Seymour, which will probably be turned into Taste Like Chicken's Bucket Special of the Week- Ten Pieces for $3.99! But, that's for you to decide after the next chapter.