"Something smells foul." Lily said as she trudged down to breakfast. James and Remus snorted, as they were passing Madame Effex on the staircase, looking just the same as before, except, if it was possible, even more drunk.
"You mean good old Seymour?" Sirius asked, pulling out the mallard duck he had been hiding at the hotel for the past few days. "Sniff him. I think it's just Mister Bojangles." He held out Seymour the duck and when her face showed utter disgust, he shrugged and tucked Seymour the duck under his arm and started cooing and petting the bird.
Lily gawked. There was a duck in Sirius's arms.
"Not fowl. Foul." Remus corrected.
"There is a duck in Sirius's arms." Lily stated, her jaw still brushing the floor.
"That's Seymour." James muttered. "Sirius's duck."
"There is a duck in Sirius's arms." Lily repeated, apparently still amazed.
"Seymour, Sirius's duck, the mallard he caught at Lillian Pond the other day." Remus explained.
"Seymour the duck is a cutsie-wootsie-pie, isn't you, Seymour?" Sirius cooed.
"There is a duck in Sirius's arms." Lily announced. Remus scowled and Seymour squawked at James.
"Riiight..." James said, looking in the other direction.
"Marauders?" James asked Sirius, Remus and Seymour.
"To the bone." They squawked back. Seymour was still hooting when Sirius released him from the banister over the lobby where the girls were sitting.
Splat. "Alright, Black. That duck is this week's special at Taste Like Chicken- Ten Pieces for $3.99!" Lily shrieked as she removed duck splat from her hair.
"NOT SEYMOUR!!!!!!!!!!" Sirius moaned from his spot. He tried to Summon Seymour, but Lily was quicker. She had the duck under her arm and was stroking his head like Dr. Evil with Mister Bigglesworth. (A/N: I am so sorry, but there have been a lot of weird comedies with pets in them that have been on television lately.)
"Make a move, Black, and Seymour is the TLC Bucket Special of the Week." She muttered in a very threatening voice.
"SEYMOUUUUUUUR!!! I BEG OF YOU, LILY!! I BEG OF YOU, OH GODDESS OF HOGWARTS, QUEEN OF GRYFFINDOR!!! I BEG OF YOU, OH LILY ISABELLE EVANS-POT.. NEVER MIND THAT!!!!!! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T KILL SEYMOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sirius begged on his knees and whining at the top of his lungs.
Lily grinned at her friends. She had found the weakness of Sirius Black. She continued to stroke Seymour's head and walked off to her room, ready to prepare for the ball.
"You know what, Seymour? You're actually quite a good companion." Lily muttered as she prepared, tossing him a piece of the roll from lunch. "Much better than your owner and his stupid friends."
Seymour squawked.
"Well, when I'm done putting gunk in my hair, we'll put gunk on your feathers, making them all shiny." Lily said as she put the finishing touches on her dress. She had it made to look like the dress Queen Godrica had worn for the first ball, except in a ravishing hunter green. The velvet train followed her about in the prettiest fashion, and her kid gloves were made of finely-manufactured leather. She had a matching smart hat, a hunter green velvet pillbox with a golden tassel. The last ball was outdoor, sort of. They had expanded the Pavilion, and there were supposed to be tents all over the park.
Lily found an adorable little tux made of sleek black fabric, with a little cummerbund.. She didn't get the pants, but the bowtie was adorable. Seymour was prancing in front of the mirror on her dressing table, with his oiled feathers making the light dance.
"You are more vain than your owner, Seymour." She said with a giggle. "And, believe me, much better looking in a tuxedo."
Seymour seemed to know he was being complimented. He tucked his head under his silk-covered wing, as if blushing.
While Seymour stopped his false modesty and began to preen again, Lily put a pair of golden lily earrings in her ears, highly carved with immense detail and polished until they shone like the sun on an autumn afternoon. She stopped in the middle of putting on the second one.
Something was missing. She wasn't complete. Seymour squawked at the ticking clock, and she tucked him under her arm and went downstairs.
"Nice accessory. I truly thought that Taste Like Chicken would have a duck special soon." James whispered to her as he offered his arm. She let her free arm slip onto it.
"I'm just making a statement. Can you believe Madame Effex still looks like she did yesterday morning?" Lily asked. "And Mister Bojangles is still in her purse."
"He is?" James nearly squealed. He whipped his head around.
"SHHHH!! She'll know it was us, she's sober now." Lily shrieked as quietly as possible.
"SEYMOUR!!!!! I THOUGHT THE EVIL WITCH HAD KILLED YOU!!!!!!!!!!" Sirius cooed across the park. He ran up to fetch his duck.
Lily hid her laughter in James's sleeve. He was practically holding her up, she was laughing so hard.
However, Seymour was not as pleased to leave Lily's side. He flew up and landed on Lily's hat.
"Miss Evans, I did not know it was the fashion anymore to wear stuffed birds on your, er, head." Said a rather snooty duchess from Germany that Lily had gotten onto the bad side of.
Queen Godrica came quickly over to save Lily with an owl attached to her crown.
"There's something missing, child." She said with her clickety-click accent, as soon as the duchess had disappeared.
"It's like I'm not, well.." Lily began, agreeing.
"Complete." James murmured. He did something, and Queen Godrica nodded regally and went to go annoy the duchess.
Lily's hand went instantly to her neck, where she felt a warm locket. She didn't look down, but she wanted to touch it again.
"I bet you are going to get married last of all of us. The people here from Hogwarts, I mean." James whispered in her ear. She snapped back to reality.
"I bet I'll get a proposal first." She hissed as they stepped down from the Pavilion's platform.
"Whatever you say, Princess." He said with a teasing smirk.
"Watch your back... You, you.. YOU FLOBBERWORM!!!" She said, at a loss for intelligence. He broke apart from her and started walking backwards on the platform that covered a slim area of pure blue water.
"That the best you can do?" He asked.
"No." She said silently. "This is." She stormed up to him and pushed him in the water. He fell backwards, Seymour flew off her head, and Queen Godrica used all the dignity she could muster to keep herself from laughing at her poor nephew's, well, uh, female situation.
James's quill scratched the parchment in front of him.
Easy Ways to
Take Care of Our Little Princess
1. Play Moonlight Sonata
2. Tell her a bit about Lady Lillian
3. Show her that stupid photo Sirius made me take.
4. Hum that lullaby she has, that one from Les Miserables.
5. Call her Princess...
Everything was completely different on the train. Everyone who had been silent on the last train ride (meaning everyone besides James and Lily) was chattering. Lily was silently reading in the corner, and across the train compartment, James was teaching himself the words to the song that played on Lily's music box.
Suddenly, an owl flew in. It was one from Hogwarts, the letter attached penned by a Muggle. Claire. Lily stood up and grabbed the letter from around the owl's claws.
Lily slowly ripped the envelope open, hoping it was news of the divorce. Seymour flew over to her and rubbed his head on her arm. Lily gasped silently. She collapsed into her chair and rubbed her temples. Seymour sat on her shoulder, rubbing his head on her neck.
Hardly anybody noticed
the letter to the side of Seymour. All they noticed is that Lily had fainted in
her chair.