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Cheetor: "Ah, it's good to be king..."
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Silverbolt: "I must collect my consort!"
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Megatron: "Yessssss..."
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Galvatron:"BWAH!" * shooting noise *
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MegatronBW: "I think a new coat is in order for this kitty!"
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Shockwave: "Hypothesis, we're screwed."
"Grrr..." roared the BW Megatron, "That moron will have the entirety of the Cybertronian Forest Rangers coming down on us in segments!"
Scorponok stood poignantly in a shaft of light that filtered down from above, raising his arms for a dramatic soliloquy, "I, Lord Zarak, am but a man, and cannot foresee these transgressions. Were I the *true* Scorpo--"
Megatron G1 ran over and grabbed up Scorponok, "Someone needs a HUG! You poor... poor... sap... RETREAT!!!!"
"Theory." grunted Shockwave, "The gay-bot may have a point. Logic must dictate that a tactical reversal will enable us to enact our plan."
"Beast mode!" MegatronBW molded down into a dragon, "I'll get the triggerhappy drunk. You grab the cat-bot. Yesss." He turned to leap into the air.
"Insufficient parameters." Shockwave replied.
The dragon stumbled, turning toward the purple cyclops, "What? Yessss.."
"Cat-bot is not in vicinity."
The entire group turned to see no trace of the black robotic cat.
"First we'll find Galvatron, then we'll go back to the ship," BW Megatron decided. "If necessary we can use the Transwarp drive to go back in time a few days, and--"
"BWAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Suddenly Galvatron raced through the door, pursuing a screaming technorganic bat. "Never mind about the Galvatron part, yessss" BW Megatron said.
"Ugh, what a sound." Scorponok tried to position his massive claws over his ears.
"It's Nightscream," Megatron scowled. "He has a sonic voice attack or something, yess . . ."
"Observation: His screeching is only annoying us, not harming us. Analysis: He's just running away screaming like a little girl."
"Well, he does that too, yess" Megatron admitted.
"DRINK!!!" Galvatron bellowed, shooting wildly at the Maximal.
"I can't drink! I'm underage!" Nightscream sobbed.
"DRINK! DRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINK!!!" Galvatron demanded, jumping up and down under Nightscream , who hovered out of reach.
"Query: Can't Galvatron fly too?"
"I think he forgot again," Scorponok said.
"Cheetor! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!"
"Cheetor?" Shockwave, Megatron, and Megatron said in concert, looking around.
"There, in the shadows!" Scorponok pointed dramatically. "And he's carrying . . . um . . . some heads? I didn't know Maximals could be Headmasters . . ."
"Hypothesis: Rewiring Cheetor was a good idea," Shockwave observed as the repainted-Cheetor stalked forward carrying the remains of a few generic Maximal heads that no one had the energy to make interesting CGI models for.
"Ha ha! NOW you're in trouble, Decepti-creeps!" Nightscream gloated as he dodged Galvatron's blasts.
"We'll see about that, Auto-brat!" G1 Megatron shook his fist. "Now tell Optimus Prime he must face me in one-on-one combat!"
Nightscream looked confused. "Huh?"
"Enemies-of-Megatron-Megatron-Shockwave-Galvatron-and-Scorponok-must-be-eliminated." Cheetor said in a low mechanical monotone. There was a whirr of gears and clicking of metal as he transformed.
"Oh no! Cheetor! What did they do to--SQUWWAAAAAAARK!!" Nightscream said as two red eye-lasers caught him full in the chest. "Well, that was new . . ." he mumbled as plummeted to the ground.
"Death-to-the-enemies-of-Megatron-Megatron-Shockwave-Galvatron-and-Scorponok." Cheetor pulled out a sleek sword and began moving towards the unconscious bat with precise footsteps.
"One moment, kitty-cat, yess. We may perhaps have a use for your former ally. One moment . . ."
"I-live-to-serve-the-will-of-Megatron-Megatron-Shockwave-Galvatron-and-Scorponok."
"Why does he always list me last?" Scorponok asked. "Is it because, while the rest of you are robots, I am only--" his Headmaster transformed "--LORD ZARAK, a mere m--?"
"YES." Shockwave said. G1 Megatron merely growled and muttered something about how the puny fleshlings were always ruining his brilliant plans.
Meanwhile, the other Megatron was rooting through an abandoned closet that had been built into the huge Mega-head ship. "We're in luck. My enemies did not thoroughly explore my former fortress, noooooo (yess.) They failed to discover . . . THIS!" He triumphantly pulled a glowing sphere out of the closet.
"A spark? You kept it in your closet?" Scorponok asked.
"Why not the closet?" G1 Megatron broke in. "I kept Optimus Prime's head in MY closet once. It was right after I had the Constructicons rebuild his body as this giant alligator. And then--here's the truly brilliant part--I welded Prime's arm to the Empire State Building--"
"Query: Whose spark?
"I didn't have time to successfully identify the specific individual, nooo, but it was definitely a former Decepticon leader," Megatron smiled. He grabbed the spark and shoved held it against Nightscream's head and a few minutes the glowing spark floated into it.
"What will happen to Nightscream's spark?" asked Scorponok.
"Query: Who cares?"
"Right!" G1 Megatron nodded. "All that matters is destroying Optimus Prime!"
"Um . . . right . . ."
"I . . . live!" Nightscream's body jerked to life, but the voice was not his. (Thank Primus.) "But how can this be?"
"It's a long story, yess."
"Situational summary: Descendants of the Autobots have introduced an organic element to Cybertron and we, the Decepticon leaders of various eras, are trying to stop them. We have already commandeered the body of the current Maximal leader--"
"I-live-to-serve-Megatron-Megatron-Shockwave-Galvatron-and-Scorponok."
Suddenly "Nightscream" turned towards the large purple robot. (Well, the large purple robot with one eye, to be more specific.) "Shockwave, is that you? And Megatron!" The bat turned to the silver robot. "I thought you were dead!"
"Do you know ME?" Scorponok asked hopefully.
"Hmm . . . no . . ."
"Oh . . ." Scorponok sighed. "No doubt it is because while I have the body of Scorponok, I am actually--"
G1 Megatron lost it. "SHUT UP! I'M SICK OF HEARING ABOUT HOW YOU'RE JUST A SLAGGING FLESHLING! SHUT UP!"
"ARSE!" Galvatron agreed.
"Hmm, that does sound like trouble. How fortunate for you that you now have the abilities of the greatest Decepticon of all time at your disposal . . . for I am Chief Fuel Auditor Ratbat!" Ratbat unfurled his wings with a flourish.
"Ah . . . what is that phrase that Primal was so fond of? Oh yesss . . . 'that's just prime.'"
"WHERE?" G1 Megatron demanded as a character description hoved into view.
RATBAT
Allegiance: Decepticon
Function: Accountant
"Bring up the bloody Carwash of Doom ONE MORE TIME, and I'm jamming this blaster so far up your arse..."
He was a fuel auditor and ruled Cybertron for a brief period until Scorponok and Starscream fucked it up. He has been ressurrected in the techno-organic form of Nightscream, giving him the sonic attacks and Satan-spawned quiff of the Maximal. Has been known to kill people for mentioning "carwash" and "doom" in the same sentence.