Hangin' With The Powers

By Jody E.

These characters don't belong to me, yadda yadda yadda. This is what happens when I am supposed to be working.

Setting: A large pink cloud hovering over Los Angeles, AKA the Official Headquarters of The Powers That Be

The Powers are lounging on their cloud, eating chocolate truffles, and drinking Margaritas while viewing the affairs of the world through their handy telescopes.

PTB1: Well, this really sucks, I must say!

PTB2: What sucks?

PTB1: Weren't you watching? Our vampire with a soul has just been dumped into the ocean in a sealed box.

PTB2: What? (Focuses telescope) Wow. I totally didn't see that coming! Are you sure that's not David Blaine?

PTB1: Positive. Anyway...he's in New York. Nope...this is Angel, all right.

PTB2: Well, there goes our Shanshu! For heaven's sake how could this have happened?

PTB1: Apparently, somebody forgot to tell Connor that his Father is just as important to the prophecy as he is.

PTB2: (innocently) Connor? Don't you mean Steven?

PTB1: (scowling) Very funny!

PTB2: Hee hee. Sorry. I know that bugs you. So what are we going to do?

PTB1: I have no idea. The problem is that nobody knows where he is to save him. Even if Connor and Justine had a change of heart, they wouldn't be able to find him very easily. He could drift for miles.

PTB2: Well, just give Cordelia a vision….Oh.

PTB1: Oh, indeed!

PTB2: So, tell me again, oh wise one...why the hell did we pull Cordelia out of there?

PTB1: You're asking me? SKIP!

(Skip appears)

Skip: You rang?

PTB1: Remind us. Why did we pull Cordelia out of her plane of existence? I seem to recall it being your idea.

Skip: Uh, well, she was getting very powerful, and we kind of, uh, thought we needed her in the Flarq dimension.

PTB2: Thought?

Skip: Well, uh, the, uh, threat there wasn't quite as massive as we had first estimated.

PTB1: I see. So what exactly is our warrior Princess doing right now?

Skip: Right now?

PTB1: Right now.

Skip: (looking sheepish) Doing her nails and watching Gilmore Girls. It's the season finale.

PTB2: We ascended her for that? Do you realize that we have lost our Shanshu? Our vampire with a soul is in a box at the bottom of the ocean!

Skip: Angel? Wow. Bummer.

PTB1: And now we have no way to get him back. Can you send Cordelia back?

Skip: Well, sure. But, uh, not right away.

PTB2: Why not right away? We can tell her what happens to Lorelei, for goodness sake.

Skip: It's just that it's kind of…embarrassing.

PTB1: What do you mean?

Skip: Look. I stopped traffic on the Los Angeles Freeway! I brought her up on a shaft of light with uplifting music, and loads of special effects. How can I go to her the very next day, and say, Oops we made a mistake?

PTB2: (nods) I hate it when that happens. People think we are infallible. It's such a burden.

Skip: Can I at least wait a couple of months?

PTB2: Sure. But what are we supposed to do in the meantime?

PTB1: Do we need a vampire with a soul right now?

PTB2: No. But who knows what shape Angel will be in when he's finally rescued. If it was me…(shudders)

PTB1: (to Skip) Claustrophobic. It's a thing.

Skip: Ah. Oh….excuse me a minute. My computer's beeping. I've got E-mail. (He disappears)

PTB2: He is such a slave to that thing.

(Skip reappears)

Skip: Well, this is interesting. Do you know my ex-brother-in law, Lurkonis?

PTB1: The one in Africa? (Skip nods)

PTB2: Africa! What is he doing there?

Skip: It was as far away from my sister as he could get. You've met Sally.

PTB1: (shudders) Yes indeed. You certainly got the looks of the family, Skip.

PTB2: And the personality.

Skip: Well, Lurky and I stayed close even after the split. Anyway, he E-mailed me that he just finished restoring the soul of a vampire.

PTB1: What?! Without consulting us? Why?

Skip: Apparently the guy asked for it.

PTB2: Weird! Give me that telescope.. What are the settings for Africa, anyway?

PTB1: Here, I've got it. Hey, look who it is...William the Bloody!

PTB2: Are you serious? Damn! And Angelus is his sire, right?

PTB1: (sighs) No. His grandsire. You always get that wrong.

PTB2: Close enough. A souled vampire from the order of Aurelious! We may not be screwed on Shanshu after all.

Skip: But can he father a son?

PTB2: Of course, he can. With a little help from us. That's why they call us The Powers! We'll get him back with Drusilla…that should do it.

Skip: Oh yeah, that'll work. She has always been so cooperative, and I'm sure Darla's fate won't discourage her in the slightest.

PTB1: Are you being sarcastic?

Skip: Duh. Does the mother have to be a vampire?

PTB1: Not as such, but who else would be willing to bear a vampire's child, or strong enough?

Skip: Gee…I don't know…how about….The Slayer?

PTB2: The Slayer? Buffy Summers? Right. She's going to have sex with another vampire? I don't think so.

Skip: Jeez, don't you two ever even glance at Sunnydale anymore? Just because Angel left, you forgot all about The Hellmouth?

PTB1: Angel is our interest.

Skip: Angel, as you have pointed out, sleeps with the fishes.

PTB2: (focusing the telescope on Sunnydale) We may be a bit out of touch. Hmmm. Looks like all hell is breaking loose over there. Maybe it's time we started getting involved with Sunnydale again. Remember the time we made it snow?

PTB1: That was cool. And Spike is a lot more fun than Angel.

PTB2: So, suddenly it's "Spike" now. You are so fickle.

PTB1: Have you seen him? (Focusing the telescope back on Africa) Look at those abs, and those cheekbones.

PTB2: You are totally gay.

PTB1: I am not! (To Skip) Just for the record, I am not gay. We don't even have any sex.

PTB2: Hey! Speak for yourself.

PTB1: I mean, we are androgynous. Couldn't be gay if we tried.

Skip: Listen you two. I couldn't care less what you two do up here. It's none of my business. Let's get back to the point okay?

PTB1: So, we'll keep an eye on the Sunnydale situation.

PTB2: You mean you'll keep an eye on Spike.

PTB1: Could you be less mature?

Skip: (sighing) Just let me know if you need me, to make an appearance or anything.

PTB1: Will do.

Skip: Well, then I'm off. I want to catch Enterprise, and you know how quickly time passes up here.

PTB2: Thanks for the help. Bye. (Skip disappears)

PTB1: So, what's happening?

PTB2: Angel's still sunk.

PTB1: And Spike?

PTB2: Heading back to Sunnydale, looks like.

PTB1: Hee…things are finally getting interesting!

PTB2: Idiot.

The end