See previous chapters for disclaimers
Sorry it took so long to post this chapter but I was having a little writer's block. Thanks for the reviews so far, please keep them coming, it encourages me to continue.
Her bottom lip quivered and she felt tears stinging her eyes, but refused to release them in front of him. How did he know so much? She looked down at her folded hands in her lap, her hair forming a curtain over her face. She didn't want him to see her like this. Weak and pathetic. She had to be strong, no more tears. Taking a long shuddering breath, she gripped her hands tightly together to stop the tremble. When she looked up again he was holding a bright white handkerchief in her direction. Giving him a weak smile, she took it and held it in her hand, feeling the smooth cool material, taking comfort from it.
" I didn't know where else to go," she admitted quietly. She figured there was no point lying to him. He deserved to know the truth.
" After mom died I felt as though the bottom had fallen out of my world. I still stayed at home, but it felt so empty without her. Everywhere I looked she was there. I've never been anyway for more than two nights before I felt home sick. Mom did everything for me, she always listened to me" she smiled fondly in memory
" She used to kid me that she would start charging me for her services. She always made me laugh. When she died I tried to get on with it. But there where so many things that I didn't know, so many things she didn't have a chance to tell me, to show me." She hiccupped, and fixed her stare somewhere on the table. It felt good to share her problems again.
" I didn't have anyone I could turn to in New York. My mom was an only child and I don't have many friends. I was sick of mopping around the house, crying and generally feeling sorry for myself. That's when I found the letter again. I've always wondered…. always imagined what it would be like to…. well anyway that's when I started doing my research, and here I am" she finished lamely, glancing back down to her hands.
Dr Lector gazed at her from across the table. Usually he would revel in the pain of other's, drink from their misery. But for the second time in his life he felt compelled to comfort.
" Emily, look at me" He saw the distinct shake of her head; her hair restricted the view of her face. Slowly he stood and moved to the chair next to him, next to Emily. Reaching out a hand he slid a finger under her chin and brought her face up to meet his, his stare holding her own.
" This is what you're going to do Emily. And ill have no arguments, I don't brook disobedience well." The mild threat was enough to hold her full attention, he knew she wanted, no needed this guidance just now.
" You're going to stay in Florence for a while. You're going to heal the wounds that you have been ignoring. You're going to give me a chance to get to know my daughter." He finished softly. Seeing the wobble of her lip again he held his hand out to her. She looked at it for a moment, as if fighting a war with herself, before she suddenly leaned forward, burying her head in his chest, small quiet sobs causing her petit frame to shudder. He was surprised at first, not used to this invasion of his personnel space, but slowly put his hand to her head, holding it close, brushing his thumb over her silky hair. After a moment she pulled away and used his handkerchief to wipe the trail the tears had left behind. Pushing her hair behind her ears she took a few deep breaths before meeting his gaze.
" Better?" he asked smoothly
She smiled a quick genuine smile,
" Yeah, thanks" she stated quietly, feeling somewhat embarrassed, but moreover relieved. As if on que the waiter appeared again at the side of the table with two steaming plates of food. Dr Lector patted Emily once on the arm and moved back to his original place, feeling the need to get some of his own space back. Muttering his thanks to the waiter, he quickly disappeared again, leaving the strange couple to their food.
1.1.1 Chapter 6
After eating their meal in compatible silence, Dr Lector stood and held his arm out to the young lady. Hesitantly she took it and they began walking together towards the centre of the city. He showed her some of the sights that were particular favourites of his, and enjoyed the sight of her face when she saw them for the first time. Already forming a place for her in his memory palace, he felt slightly uncomfortable with how quickly she was growing on him. It was true that he didn't feel the need to have children in his life, but faced with it now, he was starting to see the benefits of it. He was surprisingly proud when she started sprouting facts and figures about the several sights he had shown her, learning about her history degree.
The only way she could describe her feelings at the moment was comfortably uncomfortable. She had decided that she was going to enjoy the day; it had been too long since she had felt anything other than sadness and loneliness. She was always aware of the man standing next to her, kept the things he had done at the forefront of her mind. But she found it hard to be fearful in his presence; he was polite, interesting and intelligent. Just like her mother had described him, she thought fondly. He was standing at the side of a grand fountain, scrutinising the inscriptions, and she was happy sitting on a bench nearby. She studied her surroundings, feeling relaxed for the first time in a long time. The city truly was stunning, and she could again see way he would want to be here. She had so many questions she wanted to ask him, about his childhood, his teenaged years, his years of studying, and of course the dark aspects of his life after that. She wasn't sure he would part with any information, but she had been honest and forthcoming with him so far, she just hoped that he would do the same. As she sat pondering, watching the passing crowds, she didn't see him approach her, and jumped again as he spoke. She would have to stop doing that.
" Are you ready to continue our day Emily?" he asked softly, noticing her small jump.
She smiled slightly, standing and with a polite nod of her head,
" Lead the way Dr Fell"
He smiled at her and offered his arm, which she took without thinking about it he noted happily.
Heading for the department store, which was just around the corner, he glanced down at her. She was studying the shop windows as they walked, raising her eyebrows as she noticed the price tags on some of the merchandise. It was true that this was an expensive part of the town, but one that he was familiar with. As they neared the entrance, he nodded at the security guard standing outside and turned abruptly right. She snapped her head up to look at him, her head creased with a frown.
" Do you need something?" she queried, not noticing that it was a female shopping plaza.
He continued walking, not looking at her,
" I may be many things Emily, but a cross-dresser isn't one of them." He finished with a little tug at the side of his mouth.
She looked at the magnificent plaza as it opened out, taking in the many shops and stalls, the obviously rich woman strolling elegantly from one to the other, with small bags held in one hand and a cell phone or purse in the other. Wow.
" Dr Fell, I don't think…"
" Thankfully Emily, your on vacation, which means you don't have to" he said, heading towards a very posh looking store.
" But…"
Before she could say anything else, she was being pushed by the shoulders onto a plush seat. She sat open mouthed, watching as three gorgeous woman approached him a little bit away from where she sat. She couldn't hear what was being said, but she could see that all three woman where nodding their head and eventually scattered away in different directions, looking over to her occasionally. As he left something with the cashier at the elaborate till point, he turned and headed back to where she sat. He almost laughed out loud as he took in her face. She looked petrified.
" These kind woman are going to help you pick out a new outfit to wear to the opera tonight. Ah ah ah, now Emily I would take any arguments." He said, his face schooled to display a stern face.
" Dr Fell. " she started with as much confidence as she could muster
" I appreciate your kindness, really I do, but…." She gestured with her hands, trying to explain.
" I can't wear anything they have in here! Have you seen some of this stuff!" she grabbed the nearest thing to her which happened to be a light blue, two layer, short dress. Very short. Her eyebrows shot up as she held it out to him.
" I mean look at this! And god only knows what they're charging!" she grabbed the ticket that hung loosely around the hanger. Her jaw dropped.
" You could buy a small country for that!" she whispered, her face flushed and shocked.
He stared at the dress and then at her, and almost broke his calm façade at her last comment.
" Really Emily" he stared, taking the dress from her hand and returning it to its original home.
" Blue really isn't your colour" he winked at her and smiled as she rolled her eyes. She looked like her mother when she was exasperated.
" I'll be back in around an hour. I have a few errands to run." Seeing the blind panic rise in her, whether it was due to the fact he was leaving her here, or something a little darker he couldn't tell.
" Don't fret Emily, enjoy yourself. I'll be back in an hour." And he quickly turned and left the store, giving a little wave to the three ladies that where bringing boxes from behind the counter.
An hour later he returned as promised, and stood just inside the doorway, leaning on one of the columns. He watched Emily's face. She looked a lot more relaxed since he had left her. She was happily chatting to one of the assistants, while another was taking shoes from her feet. There were about seven dresses lying next to her, and numerous other pieces of clothing. She had been busy. Taking his time he approached her, not wanting to spoil her mood. When her eye finally fell on him, she offered a shy smile and a shrug of her shoulders. Finally standing before her he surveyed the mess around her with a little smile.
" Looks like you've been busy. Perhaps I should leave you for a little longer?"
Before she had a chance to answer, the lady she was talking to chirped in,
" No senior, she has been checking her watch every five minutes since you left. She has wonderful taste, she must take it from her father" she said with a batting of her eyelids. Emily rolled her eyes at the attempt of flirtation.
Dr lector couldn't help but smile at the obvious jealousy his young daughter was displaying. He watched as she stood up and started towards the entrance. She disappeared from sight as she turned the corner. With the little smile still playing on his lips, he made his way to the counter once more and told the cashier to ring up everything that she had liked and the he would be back later to collect it. With a polite nod of the head he made his way out of the store and immediately spotted his young charge sitting at the edge of an elaborate fountain in the middle of the shopping plaza.
She was watching the water cascade down the many levels of the fountain, feeling the soft mist touch her face. She felt stupid, immature and totally confused. Dipping a finger into the water, she swirled it around watching the ripples stretch across the entire spans. She was happy that she didn't jump this time when she heard the voice next to her.
" Feeling better?" He said conversationally, watching the passing crowds.
She decided to ignore that question; she didn't want to even go there,
" Dr Fell can I ask you a question?" she said hesitantly
His response was immediate,
" Well that depends on the question Emily, but by all means ask"
She realised that she didn't know what to ask him. It was true that her mind what a jumble of questions, but she wasn't sure she was ready to ask any of them yet. She decided on the coward's way out.
" What Opera are we seeing tonight?"
He knew that was not what she wanted to ask, but he humoured her anyway.
" You should never ask Emily, it spoils the surprise"
Feeling more relaxed she turned her body so she was sitting watching the crowds as well.
" I think I want to get out of here now. Is that ok?"
Turning his head to look at her, he noticed that she didn't do the same. She sat swinging her legs, watching the crowds go by.
" Of course Emily. Its been a long morning, do you want to continue with our explorations of the city, or would you rather we retire to my home?"
Neither option truly appealed to her, but the thought of trailing around the city again was not a welcome one.
" I think id like to go home, if that's ok"
He noticed that she referred to it as home, her home. He would have to ponder that later.
" Of course" he stood and began to stroll towards the exit, not offering his arm this time, sensing her need for space.
She was glad he offered her space. She was beginning to feel suffocated with his presence. She didn't know what she wanted, on one hand she was thrilled that she was here, with him. On the other hand…she felt as though she where drowning. She felt as though she was being sucked into a whirlpool, and she needed a chance to draw breath, to take a step back and look at everything again. Before she realised it, they were once again standing on the front steps of his home. Stepping inside she welcomed the cool air that greeted them. Feeling awkward again, he quickly sensed it and politely showed her to the gust bedroom, where surprisingly she found her worn backpack. Standing just inside the room she looked around to say thanks but he was no longer there. Leaving the door slightly agar, she quickly fell atop the bed, arms spread above her head, every muscle in her body slowly melting into the sinfully deep mattress. Before long she felt her eyes drift close before sleep finally took her again.
She was dreaming, she knew that. It was one of those weird dreams when you actually know your dreaming and can manipulate them. She was sitting in a parked car. It was a new car she saw, the high polished interior and the rich smell of new leather were enough to reach that conclusion. She looked out the window. She knew this street but it was a distant memory, one she couldn't quite place her finger on yet. Everything was very serene, calm. She was just starting to sink into the comfy seats when a primal instinct forced her to look up. It was kind of funny but she was sure she knew the car that was coming down the street towards the one she was in. Again she couldn't quite place it, but she was too lethargic to bother with the strain of pinpointing it. She watched a small group of children playing on the sidewalk. They were playing hopscotch. She remembered doing the same thing when she was very young. A cool breeze was blowing, but it was a sunny warm day and she was glad for it. When she saw the small boy throw the stone, everything seemed to move in slow motion. Suddenly everything came into focus and she knew where she was, what was about to happen. In desperation she tried the door handle, but it wouldn't budge. She looked up and saw the stone tumble between the parked cars in front of her and onto the road. She heard the giggle as the little boy took after it. She tried banging the front windshield but it was if they couldn't hear her. She heard the screech of brakes in slow motion that seemed to last forever. She saw the swerve of the car as it just missed the crouching figure of the boy. She saw the car begin to loose control as it headed towards her, smoke coming from behind it as the tyres screamed in protest. She saw the face of her mother as the car smashed into her own.
Sorry it took so long to post this chapter but I was having a little writer's block. Thanks for the reviews so far, please keep them coming, it encourages me to continue.
Her bottom lip quivered and she felt tears stinging her eyes, but refused to release them in front of him. How did he know so much? She looked down at her folded hands in her lap, her hair forming a curtain over her face. She didn't want him to see her like this. Weak and pathetic. She had to be strong, no more tears. Taking a long shuddering breath, she gripped her hands tightly together to stop the tremble. When she looked up again he was holding a bright white handkerchief in her direction. Giving him a weak smile, she took it and held it in her hand, feeling the smooth cool material, taking comfort from it.
" I didn't know where else to go," she admitted quietly. She figured there was no point lying to him. He deserved to know the truth.
" After mom died I felt as though the bottom had fallen out of my world. I still stayed at home, but it felt so empty without her. Everywhere I looked she was there. I've never been anyway for more than two nights before I felt home sick. Mom did everything for me, she always listened to me" she smiled fondly in memory
" She used to kid me that she would start charging me for her services. She always made me laugh. When she died I tried to get on with it. But there where so many things that I didn't know, so many things she didn't have a chance to tell me, to show me." She hiccupped, and fixed her stare somewhere on the table. It felt good to share her problems again.
" I didn't have anyone I could turn to in New York. My mom was an only child and I don't have many friends. I was sick of mopping around the house, crying and generally feeling sorry for myself. That's when I found the letter again. I've always wondered…. always imagined what it would be like to…. well anyway that's when I started doing my research, and here I am" she finished lamely, glancing back down to her hands.
Dr Lector gazed at her from across the table. Usually he would revel in the pain of other's, drink from their misery. But for the second time in his life he felt compelled to comfort.
" Emily, look at me" He saw the distinct shake of her head; her hair restricted the view of her face. Slowly he stood and moved to the chair next to him, next to Emily. Reaching out a hand he slid a finger under her chin and brought her face up to meet his, his stare holding her own.
" This is what you're going to do Emily. And ill have no arguments, I don't brook disobedience well." The mild threat was enough to hold her full attention, he knew she wanted, no needed this guidance just now.
" You're going to stay in Florence for a while. You're going to heal the wounds that you have been ignoring. You're going to give me a chance to get to know my daughter." He finished softly. Seeing the wobble of her lip again he held his hand out to her. She looked at it for a moment, as if fighting a war with herself, before she suddenly leaned forward, burying her head in his chest, small quiet sobs causing her petit frame to shudder. He was surprised at first, not used to this invasion of his personnel space, but slowly put his hand to her head, holding it close, brushing his thumb over her silky hair. After a moment she pulled away and used his handkerchief to wipe the trail the tears had left behind. Pushing her hair behind her ears she took a few deep breaths before meeting his gaze.
" Better?" he asked smoothly
She smiled a quick genuine smile,
" Yeah, thanks" she stated quietly, feeling somewhat embarrassed, but moreover relieved. As if on que the waiter appeared again at the side of the table with two steaming plates of food. Dr Lector patted Emily once on the arm and moved back to his original place, feeling the need to get some of his own space back. Muttering his thanks to the waiter, he quickly disappeared again, leaving the strange couple to their food.
1.1.1 Chapter 6
After eating their meal in compatible silence, Dr Lector stood and held his arm out to the young lady. Hesitantly she took it and they began walking together towards the centre of the city. He showed her some of the sights that were particular favourites of his, and enjoyed the sight of her face when she saw them for the first time. Already forming a place for her in his memory palace, he felt slightly uncomfortable with how quickly she was growing on him. It was true that he didn't feel the need to have children in his life, but faced with it now, he was starting to see the benefits of it. He was surprisingly proud when she started sprouting facts and figures about the several sights he had shown her, learning about her history degree.
The only way she could describe her feelings at the moment was comfortably uncomfortable. She had decided that she was going to enjoy the day; it had been too long since she had felt anything other than sadness and loneliness. She was always aware of the man standing next to her, kept the things he had done at the forefront of her mind. But she found it hard to be fearful in his presence; he was polite, interesting and intelligent. Just like her mother had described him, she thought fondly. He was standing at the side of a grand fountain, scrutinising the inscriptions, and she was happy sitting on a bench nearby. She studied her surroundings, feeling relaxed for the first time in a long time. The city truly was stunning, and she could again see way he would want to be here. She had so many questions she wanted to ask him, about his childhood, his teenaged years, his years of studying, and of course the dark aspects of his life after that. She wasn't sure he would part with any information, but she had been honest and forthcoming with him so far, she just hoped that he would do the same. As she sat pondering, watching the passing crowds, she didn't see him approach her, and jumped again as he spoke. She would have to stop doing that.
" Are you ready to continue our day Emily?" he asked softly, noticing her small jump.
She smiled slightly, standing and with a polite nod of her head,
" Lead the way Dr Fell"
He smiled at her and offered his arm, which she took without thinking about it he noted happily.
Heading for the department store, which was just around the corner, he glanced down at her. She was studying the shop windows as they walked, raising her eyebrows as she noticed the price tags on some of the merchandise. It was true that this was an expensive part of the town, but one that he was familiar with. As they neared the entrance, he nodded at the security guard standing outside and turned abruptly right. She snapped her head up to look at him, her head creased with a frown.
" Do you need something?" she queried, not noticing that it was a female shopping plaza.
He continued walking, not looking at her,
" I may be many things Emily, but a cross-dresser isn't one of them." He finished with a little tug at the side of his mouth.
She looked at the magnificent plaza as it opened out, taking in the many shops and stalls, the obviously rich woman strolling elegantly from one to the other, with small bags held in one hand and a cell phone or purse in the other. Wow.
" Dr Fell, I don't think…"
" Thankfully Emily, your on vacation, which means you don't have to" he said, heading towards a very posh looking store.
" But…"
Before she could say anything else, she was being pushed by the shoulders onto a plush seat. She sat open mouthed, watching as three gorgeous woman approached him a little bit away from where she sat. She couldn't hear what was being said, but she could see that all three woman where nodding their head and eventually scattered away in different directions, looking over to her occasionally. As he left something with the cashier at the elaborate till point, he turned and headed back to where she sat. He almost laughed out loud as he took in her face. She looked petrified.
" These kind woman are going to help you pick out a new outfit to wear to the opera tonight. Ah ah ah, now Emily I would take any arguments." He said, his face schooled to display a stern face.
" Dr Fell. " she started with as much confidence as she could muster
" I appreciate your kindness, really I do, but…." She gestured with her hands, trying to explain.
" I can't wear anything they have in here! Have you seen some of this stuff!" she grabbed the nearest thing to her which happened to be a light blue, two layer, short dress. Very short. Her eyebrows shot up as she held it out to him.
" I mean look at this! And god only knows what they're charging!" she grabbed the ticket that hung loosely around the hanger. Her jaw dropped.
" You could buy a small country for that!" she whispered, her face flushed and shocked.
He stared at the dress and then at her, and almost broke his calm façade at her last comment.
" Really Emily" he stared, taking the dress from her hand and returning it to its original home.
" Blue really isn't your colour" he winked at her and smiled as she rolled her eyes. She looked like her mother when she was exasperated.
" I'll be back in around an hour. I have a few errands to run." Seeing the blind panic rise in her, whether it was due to the fact he was leaving her here, or something a little darker he couldn't tell.
" Don't fret Emily, enjoy yourself. I'll be back in an hour." And he quickly turned and left the store, giving a little wave to the three ladies that where bringing boxes from behind the counter.
An hour later he returned as promised, and stood just inside the doorway, leaning on one of the columns. He watched Emily's face. She looked a lot more relaxed since he had left her. She was happily chatting to one of the assistants, while another was taking shoes from her feet. There were about seven dresses lying next to her, and numerous other pieces of clothing. She had been busy. Taking his time he approached her, not wanting to spoil her mood. When her eye finally fell on him, she offered a shy smile and a shrug of her shoulders. Finally standing before her he surveyed the mess around her with a little smile.
" Looks like you've been busy. Perhaps I should leave you for a little longer?"
Before she had a chance to answer, the lady she was talking to chirped in,
" No senior, she has been checking her watch every five minutes since you left. She has wonderful taste, she must take it from her father" she said with a batting of her eyelids. Emily rolled her eyes at the attempt of flirtation.
Dr lector couldn't help but smile at the obvious jealousy his young daughter was displaying. He watched as she stood up and started towards the entrance. She disappeared from sight as she turned the corner. With the little smile still playing on his lips, he made his way to the counter once more and told the cashier to ring up everything that she had liked and the he would be back later to collect it. With a polite nod of the head he made his way out of the store and immediately spotted his young charge sitting at the edge of an elaborate fountain in the middle of the shopping plaza.
She was watching the water cascade down the many levels of the fountain, feeling the soft mist touch her face. She felt stupid, immature and totally confused. Dipping a finger into the water, she swirled it around watching the ripples stretch across the entire spans. She was happy that she didn't jump this time when she heard the voice next to her.
" Feeling better?" He said conversationally, watching the passing crowds.
She decided to ignore that question; she didn't want to even go there,
" Dr Fell can I ask you a question?" she said hesitantly
His response was immediate,
" Well that depends on the question Emily, but by all means ask"
She realised that she didn't know what to ask him. It was true that her mind what a jumble of questions, but she wasn't sure she was ready to ask any of them yet. She decided on the coward's way out.
" What Opera are we seeing tonight?"
He knew that was not what she wanted to ask, but he humoured her anyway.
" You should never ask Emily, it spoils the surprise"
Feeling more relaxed she turned her body so she was sitting watching the crowds as well.
" I think I want to get out of here now. Is that ok?"
Turning his head to look at her, he noticed that she didn't do the same. She sat swinging her legs, watching the crowds go by.
" Of course Emily. Its been a long morning, do you want to continue with our explorations of the city, or would you rather we retire to my home?"
Neither option truly appealed to her, but the thought of trailing around the city again was not a welcome one.
" I think id like to go home, if that's ok"
He noticed that she referred to it as home, her home. He would have to ponder that later.
" Of course" he stood and began to stroll towards the exit, not offering his arm this time, sensing her need for space.
She was glad he offered her space. She was beginning to feel suffocated with his presence. She didn't know what she wanted, on one hand she was thrilled that she was here, with him. On the other hand…she felt as though she where drowning. She felt as though she was being sucked into a whirlpool, and she needed a chance to draw breath, to take a step back and look at everything again. Before she realised it, they were once again standing on the front steps of his home. Stepping inside she welcomed the cool air that greeted them. Feeling awkward again, he quickly sensed it and politely showed her to the gust bedroom, where surprisingly she found her worn backpack. Standing just inside the room she looked around to say thanks but he was no longer there. Leaving the door slightly agar, she quickly fell atop the bed, arms spread above her head, every muscle in her body slowly melting into the sinfully deep mattress. Before long she felt her eyes drift close before sleep finally took her again.
She was dreaming, she knew that. It was one of those weird dreams when you actually know your dreaming and can manipulate them. She was sitting in a parked car. It was a new car she saw, the high polished interior and the rich smell of new leather were enough to reach that conclusion. She looked out the window. She knew this street but it was a distant memory, one she couldn't quite place her finger on yet. Everything was very serene, calm. She was just starting to sink into the comfy seats when a primal instinct forced her to look up. It was kind of funny but she was sure she knew the car that was coming down the street towards the one she was in. Again she couldn't quite place it, but she was too lethargic to bother with the strain of pinpointing it. She watched a small group of children playing on the sidewalk. They were playing hopscotch. She remembered doing the same thing when she was very young. A cool breeze was blowing, but it was a sunny warm day and she was glad for it. When she saw the small boy throw the stone, everything seemed to move in slow motion. Suddenly everything came into focus and she knew where she was, what was about to happen. In desperation she tried the door handle, but it wouldn't budge. She looked up and saw the stone tumble between the parked cars in front of her and onto the road. She heard the giggle as the little boy took after it. She tried banging the front windshield but it was if they couldn't hear her. She heard the screech of brakes in slow motion that seemed to last forever. She saw the swerve of the car as it just missed the crouching figure of the boy. She saw the car begin to loose control as it headed towards her, smoke coming from behind it as the tyres screamed in protest. She saw the face of her mother as the car smashed into her own.