A/N: There's a little language in here that might be considered inappropriate. Just scroll to the bottom once it starts and you might get it. But that way's no fun.


  This was life for the next few months. James and Lily rarely spoke to one another. Sirius had counted, and they had said a total of sixteen words.

"Please pass the toast."
"Please pass the marmalade."
"Please pass the cornflakes."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."

  They were civil. They did not play pranks on one another, and they shared all of the same friends. Sirius recalled those months as the most boring months he had ever spent at Hogwarts. They weren't fighting. They weren't kissing. They were boring.
  "Ms. Evans?" Professor McGonagall startled Lily, who looked up from her History of Magic paper.

  "Professor Dumbledore requires your presence in his office."
  "I don't know the way, ma'am." Lily said timidly, standing up and collecting her books.
  "James, you show her. I know you know the way." Professor McGonagall motioned to James, who wasn't sitting too far away.
  "Professor Dumbledore needs you anyway."
  Lily scowled. She had played the elusive game of keep away for the past four months, and now Professor McGonagall was just ruining it. At least the day before had been April first. That way he did not have any excuse to turn her into a wreck.
  James scowled. He had been playing the elusive game of keep away for the past four months, and now Professor McGonagall was just ruining it. At least the day before had been April first. That way she did not have any excuse to screw him up.


  "So."
  "So."
  "How's the whole, um, Seymour situation going?" James asked.

  "He's fine. I couldn't take him to France, else they'd turn him into duck a la ronge." Lily murmured, sort of skipping. She wasn't wearing her blazer like she should have been, and her robes were left forgotten in the library.
  "Hmm."
  "Hmm."
  "Yeah."
  "So, how's the whole, um, Quidditch thing going?" Lily asked.
   "If you went to the games, you'd know. If you were still our manager, you'd know. If you still played, you'd know." James tried not to raise his voice.

  Lily rolled her eyes. "As if you need me, Mister Star Seeker. You seem to have the entire thing under control."
  "Things aren't as they seem, milady." James chirped.
  "URGH! You are so annoying." Lily muttered.
  "Yes, Princess. I am, Princess. Does Your Royal Highness have any other opinions to pass of me? Or does the Princess prefer to keep her royal mouth shut for once?"
  Lily was so sick of this. She turned to him and slapped him right on the cheek.

  "Mr. Potter, what is that nasty red swelling on your cheek?" Professor Dumbledore wrinkled his nose.
  "Ran into an evil little- Doorway." James muttered.
  "Do sit down. We're going to have a nice little discussion. Then we can send you off to the hospital wing." Professor Dumbledore motioned to the two seats in front of his desk. "I understand your graduation is coming up."
  "Yes, sir." The two chorused, and then they glared at one another.
  "And seeing as it's one of the largest years ever, and some of our most prominent students are leaving, you two need to plan one of the greatest ceremonies ever, and one of the greatest parties of all time." Professor Dumbledore said. "Normally I would have the staff plan the graduation, but you two have had such successful parties, such as the Halloween Ball of last year, and that birthday bash of Ms. Evans's--."
  "You mean we would have to plan this shindig?" Lily asked wearily.
  "Together?" James demanded with shock.
  "Yes, isn't that obvious?" Professor Dumbledore asked confusedly.
  "Together?" James demanded again.
  "Didn't he just answer your question, you dumb ass?" Lily snapped.
  "Now, Ms. Evans, that's not completely fair--."
  "Who are you calling a dumb ass?" James retorted.
  "Now, Mr. Potter, I'm sure you don't mean that."
  "You, you dumb ass."
  "Ms. Evans!"
  "Bitch!"
  "Mister Potter!"
  "Bastard!"
  "Gold digger!"
  "Asshole!"
  "Takes one to know one." Lily slapped him. He slapped her back.
  "Mr. Evans, Ms. Potter! I mean, Mr. Potter, Ms. Evans!"
  "You, you, you, FLOBBERWORM!!!"
  And at that moment, they just launched one huge argument. Dumbledore banged his head on his desk.
  "Well, at least they're fighting again."

  "Dumb ass!"
  "Who are you calling a dumb ass?"
  "You, you dumb ass!"
  "Bitch!"
  "Bastard!"
  "Gold digger!"
  "Asshole!"
  "Takes one to know one!"
  "You wanna take this outside, Potter?"
  "I could take you on, any day, any time."
  Sirius looked up from his Potions essay, as did everyone else. The professor had opened the door to let out the chill, and walking past the dungeons were James and Lily.
  Lily was walking briskly with her arms crossed, and James was following her with his fists on either side of his long legs.

 "Dumb ass!"
  "Who are you calling a dumb ass?"
  "You, you dumb ass!"
 "Bitch!"
 "Bastard!"
 "Gold digger!"
  'Asshole!"
  'Takes one to know one!"
  Coco looked up from her nap in the History of Magic book, and saw Lily and James stop in front of the doorway, just shouting at each other.

  "Dumb ass!"
  "Who are you calling a dumb ass?"
  "You, you dumb ass!"
 "Bitch!"
 "Bastard!"
 "Gold digger!"
  'Asshole!"
  'Takes one to know one!"

By the time everyone had gotten down to supper, the doors to the Great Hall were blocked. By two arguing Gryffindors.

  "Dumb ass!"
  "Who are you calling a dumb ass?"
  "You, you dumb ass!"
 "Bitch!"
 "Bastard!"
 "Gold digger!"
  'Asshole!"
  'Takes one to know one!"

  "You.' Lily spat. "You, you, you!"
  "FLOBBERWORM!" They chorused.
  "Well, at least they're fighting again." Sirius said with a shrug. "Mind letting us eat?"

  "Shut up!" The two Gryffindors shouted.
  "I said it first!"
  "No, I said it first!"
   "Dumb ass."
  "Who are you calling a dumb ass?"
  Several floors above, Professor Dumbledore was still banging his head on his desk.

  "That's stupid, dumb ass." Lily pouted. "Purple? Somebody has a borderline personality disorder."
  "Like orange is much better!" James retorted.
  "You two are acting like three-year-olds with larger vocabularies." Coco said, rolling her eyes.
  "Just let them argue, Coco. There's no point in stopping them." Remus said, turning a page of Witch Weekly. Hey, he was bored!
  "What is that supposed to mean?" They demanded.
  "Stop doing that!" They shouted at each other.
  "What?" They chorused.
  "That whole, saying the same thing at the same time!" They shrieked in unison.
  "God, you are so annoying!" They said at the same time, sitting back and crossing their arms.
  "Check this out." Remus whispered, showing a page to Coco.
  While James and Lily continued to shout at one another, everyone crowded around Remus.
  "The Prince James Watch. Oh, I heard of that article. Each month they try to place Prince James and see who he's hanging out with, what he's wearing, etc." Clarisse said.
  "Is he that popular?" Jennifer asked.
  "He's one of the most wanted boys in the magical realm." Leola said.
  "This month, good old Jamie is actually kind of lying low. However, interesting photos taken by yours truly, the Guy Spy, will depict Jamie's ongoing arguments with Ms. Popular herself, Muggle heiress, ex-girlfriend, current crush and fellow housemate of Jamie's, Lily Evans. The two seem to have a love/hate relationship! In the photos seen here, we have the two at Ministry balls two years ago, a dance last year, in the Quidditch stands together this past semester, and in the latest, the two are screaming their lungs out." Diana read. The readers lowered the magazine for another study, and the article was right.
  "Who exactly could be following Lily and James around?" Munguldus asked, his brow wrinkling.
  "Has to be a Hogwarts student with a camera." Sirius said, his face in the same angry, confused expression as Munguldus's.
  "Most likely a Slytherin." Remus concluded.
  "Am I right?" Lily demanded, making the readers jump.
 "'About what? Sirius asked wearily.
  "Hah! I'm right!" James said, banging his fists on the table in victory.

  "Shut up!"
  "You shut up!"
  "Dumb ass!"
  "Who are you calling a dumb ass?"
  "What's that?" Lily asked.
  Coco snatched the magazine and hid it behind her back.
  "What's what?" Remus asked, his eyes not meeting her angry gaze.
  "You were reading something." Lily's eyes narrowed. "Oh, what is the point? Let's just make it red, green, blue and yellow. I have somewhere to be."
  "Getting crowned as the world's bitchiest princess?" James sneered, crossing his arms.
  "No. I have a date."
  Everyone's jaws dropped.
  "What? Just because I dated a so-called prince doesn't mean I can't date other people." Lily said exasperatedly, grabbing her books and leaving.
  "Who is it?" James called after her. "With the Marauders as my witness, I will find out!"
  Lily made a rather rude and not so ladylike gesture with a certain finger.

  "I'm a genius!" Lily exclaimed, stopping in the middle of the Hogsmeade street, almost reaching the meeting place for her date. She turned on her heel and headed toward the castle. 'Stupid heels.' She pulled off her dark blue heels, and shoved them into her flimsy, sparkly, deep blue handbag. Her dress matched, and she resembled some sort of figure skater or a fairy with the cut of her skirt and the fluttering, short sleeves of her dress.
  "Wait 'til they hear it!"

  "Where are you going, a strip club?" Sirius demanded the instant he saw Lily. He grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around her. She swatted him away.
  "I have it!" Lily exclaimed.
  "Where are you going, a strip club?" James demanded.
  "URGH! BOYS!" Lily shrieked. "No! I was on my way to my date and then--…"
  "You go out in public like that?" Sirius asked.
  "URGH!!!!!!" Lily threw her handbag across the room. "There are so many ethnicity's at this school, and there's so many ethnicity's in this graduating year. Instead of four long tables, we can have a lot of mini-tables with different food and other stuff from different countries!"
  "You interrupted your lap dance date for that idea?" James drawled.
  "Oh, shut up! Nobody asked you, dumb ass!" Lily snapped.
  "Who are you calling a dumb ass?" James demanded, standing up.
  "Not this again." Sirius murmured.
  "Have either of you ever heard of compromise?" Remus asked.
  "Yes, but I always get my way!" Lily pouted, stomping her foot.
  "How about we just cut to the chase? We get a mural on the wall behind the staff table, depicting the Eiffel Tower and the park around it, and the entire Great Hall is like sitting in a cafe in Paris?" James asked exasperatedly.

  "Deal." Lily offered her hand, and he shook it.
  Lily wiped her hand off on her skirt. "Eww. James Potter germs."
  James wiped his hand of on his slacks. "Eww. Lily Evans germs."

B/N: Sorry I was a naughty girl. Mandy had this done on Sunday but I didn't edit. *ducks tomatoes* HEy! I was sick!... PLEASE read my prequel, next part up as soon as I stop procrastinating.