The perception of time inside the Pokeball is greatly influenced by one's state of mind. If one has little or nothing to think about, one often slips into a state similar to sleep, and the interval between openings of the ball appears to pass relatively quickly. On the other hand, if one is excessively preoccupied, as I was, by disturbing or worrisome thoughts, it often seems an eternity. After what seemed an interminable amount of time, but was probably no more than an hour or so, I felt the ball being opened. Bright light flooded the universe, followed by the sensation of leaping through the air in the form of pure energy, and suddenly I was myself again, consciousness once more given physical form. I shook off the tingling sensation that always accompanies rematerialization, blinked rapidly in the bright sunlight, and took stock of my surroundings.

I was outdoors, in the grassy field outside the school some distance away from the arena where I had suffered my humiliating defeat a short time earlier. All around me, the other Pokemon were being released from their Pokeballs by their trainers. This must be some sort of break period, I thought, when they let us out between battles to stretch our legs. It was certainly welcome, and under different circumstances I might have even been able to enjoy it. At that moment, though, dealing with the world outside my Pokeball was the last thing I wanted to do. The sunshine and clear blue sky felt oppressive. Even the beautiful green grass that covered the field did not look appealing.

All around me, most of the Pokemon were beginning to gather into groups. Pokemon tend to associate first with their own species, then with their own type, and this group was no exception. The Grass and Electric Pokemon, the most dominant types, formed large clusters at opposite ends of the field. The other major types were slowly congregating as well, keeping a respectful distance from one another. The school's lone Ghost-type, a rather shy Gastly, appeared to be attempting to join the Psychic contingent. After a Confusion from a rather irritated Kadabra narrowly missed him, he thought better of it and floated over to where the Grimers, Koffings and Ekans were discussing the latest Poison techniques.

Most of the young trainers were standing along the edge of the field, chatting and proudly pointing out their Pokemon to one another. I scanned the human crowd for Josh, but could not see him anywhere. At last I spotted him, back turned, walking back to the school. My heart sank and my head dropped almost to the ground. Was I that much of a failure that he wanted nothing more to do with me? As much as I was afraid of Josh and his periodic storms of anger at my incompetence, he was the only trainer I had ever known. The idea that he might go away and never come back filled me with terror. What would become of me?

He'll be back, the logical part of my brain tried to tell me. The instructor probably wouldn't let a student abandon their Pokemon even if they wanted to.

Sometimes the logical part of my brain was precious little consolation.

Head still hanging, I slowly turned around and began walking into the field. For a moment I experienced a sense of true confusion as to which group I should attempt to associate with. Then the brief fog faded, and I remembered that I was a Fire Pokemon. Or was I?

Enough of this, I told myself. You're a Ponyta, and Ponyta are Fire Pokemon. Now get yourself over there with the Growlithes and the Vulpixes and the Charmanders.

As a motivational speaker, I'd never win any awards, but I managed to overcome my self-doubt long enough to start putting one foot in front of another. I carefully skirted the Rock gathering, not wishing to invite any hostility by invading their personal space, and slowly approached the circle of singed grass where the Fire-types were playing, chatting, and practicing various attacks. As I drew near, it seemed that the level of activity diminished, and I felt as though all eyes came to rest on me. It became clear within moments that this sensation was not entirely a trick of my mind. One by one, they slowly ceased their activities and observed my approach. Their scrutiny, while not openly hostile, did not seem friendly, and I stopped several paces short of actually breaching the group's perimeter.

((Hello,)) I managed, despite the fact that my mouth seemed suddenly to have gone dry.

For a minute, nobody answered. Finally, one of the oldest Pokemon in the group, a Charmeleon, stepped forward a few feet. ((What do you want?)) he asked.

((I-- I don't know,)) I stammered uncertainly. ((I saw you guys over here, and, well, you know-)) I stopped to catch my breath. ((I thought I would come over here and join you.))

((You thought you would join us?)) The Charmeleon stepped forward again, and I unconsciously stepped backwards, . ((We've got our own group here. What makes you think you can just waltz in here?))

((Maybe we don't want you around us,)) put in a Growlithe who was crouching on the ground nearby and looked as though he would love an excuse to pounce on me-- or anyone else, for that matter. ((Did you ever think of that?))

I blinked quickly to staunch the tears that threatened to well up in my eyes. If I started crying then, I'd never have lived it down. First Josh, and now this... but why were they treating me this way? They hadn't seen the battle. They couldn't possibly know of my failure, could they?

((Why wouldn't you want me?)) I asked, desperately. ((I'm a Fire Pokemon, just like the rest of you. This is the place for Fire Pokemon-- isn't it?))

((So you're a Fire Pokemon, are you?)) sneered the Charmeleon. He glanced quickly at his companions on either side. ((Well, pretty girl, if you're a Fire Pokemon, let's see some proof. Let's see you give me a good Fire attack. An Ember would do nicely.))

They know! I shied away from him, eyes widening and mind filling with horror. How had the news of my humiliation spread so far and so quickly? That damn Bellsprout! I realized. The little weed must have been bragging to anyone who would listen about how he had defeated a healthy Ponyta all by himself. Had I not already been feeling so low, I might have resolved to find him and repay him for his treachery, but at that moment, all I wanted to do was escape. I longed for the safety and security of my Pokeball.

((Well?)) he asked again, mocking me with his words. ((What are you waiting for? Is there some problem?))

I turned away from the group and galloped off into the field as fast as my hooves would carry me, running away from their derision, only stopping when I could hear their scornful laughter no more. I closed my eyes and stood there for a long time, feeling the tears trickle down my cheeks and the sobs rattle my chest. I had never been so miserable in my entire life as I was at that moment. The entire school had to have seen me being rejected by my own peers. This was far worse even than the battles I had lost.

((Why are you crying?))

I opened my eyes a tiny crack. There was nobody to be seen.

((Look. I'm down here. Why are you crying?))

I blinked and lowered my head. Sitting on the ground in front of me was an Eevee. I must admit I was a little bit startled, as despite the Eevee Breeding Program that had been recently instituted, Eevees were still a relatively rare sight-- certainly something you wouldn't expect to see in the hands of an apprentice trainer. There are always exceptions to the rule, as you no doubt know by now, I reminded myself with just a hint of sarcasm. ((Um, no reason,)) was my answer to the other Pokemon.

One of the Eevee's ears twitched. ((Pokemon don't cry for no reason. What's the matter?))

I turned away. I wasn't entirely certain this Eevee didn't already know and was just making fun of me, but in any case, I couldn't bear to reveal the source of my shame to anyone who didn't already know. ((Maybe I just don't feel like talking about it.))

The Eevee seemed taken aback. ((Well, okay, if that's how you feel about it. Why aren't you over there with the rest of the Fire Pokemon? They look like they're having fun.))

I didn't answer. I closed my eyes again and silently wished the Eevee would just go away. It was my own fault I was so miserable, and I didn't want anyone trying to make me feel better or prying into my affairs.

((Fire Pokemon seem so cool,)) the Eevee went on. ((I hope my trainer evolves me into a Flareon. I don't know about that, though. He seems to like training at night, so I'm wondering if he might not be trying to evolve me into an Umbreon. What do you think?))

((I think whatever your trainer wants will be fine,)) I murmured. I thought again of Josh. I would have to try to work harder for him. Yes. That was it.

The instructor blew his whistle, signaling that recess was over. All across the field, the groups fragmented as Pokemon began moving back towards their trainers. I wondered again if Josh would come back to get me. Maybe he never wanted to see me again. Maybe he had quit the school and gone home. I certainly wouldn't have held it against him after I had failed so badly. That was it, after all, wasn't it? I had failed. Ponyta were supposed to learn Fire attacks, and I hadn't. That was my own fault and no one else's.

There he was, coming out of the building, avoiding eye contact with the other trainers. He must be as ashamed as I was. I slowly walked up to him, dreading, but he wouldn't even look at me. He just held out the Pokeball at arm's length for me to enter. I did so without protest, glad of the chance to be truly alone with my thoughts once more.