Disclaimer: we're really, really sorry Mr./ Mrs. lawyer person we forgot
to put this year don't sue it's nearly XMas and we have no money.
"Michelle, this is my new assistant Maryann Murphy."
"Hi. Nice to meet you."
"A pleasure I'm sure" answered Maryann.
"Now I've got to teach. Michelle you can keep Maryann company while she watches the lesson"
Madeleine walked up to the teachers desk.
"Now before you can learn to defend yourself the magical way, you have to learn how to defend yourself the muggle way"
"What complete rubbish" muttered Maryann. Michelle chuckled softly. Madeleine proceeded to teach the lesson, while Maryann muttered comments under her breath.
"Complete rubbish, what the hell is she talking about, can't teach, might as well be a muggle"
Michelle constantly glared at her, feeling the anger slowly build up inside her.
"What do you think of her teaching methods?" asked Maryann, " I think she's crap, unfit to be a teacher, she should be fired" she carried on.
" Now remember, self defense should only be used to defend" Madeleine told the class.
Michelle couldn't control herself any longer. She stood up and punched Maryann with all her might, causing Maryann to fall to the hard floor.
"NEVER insult Madeleine in front of me! I have known her through primary and secondary school, through university, and we even taught in a muggle school together. If you insult her, you insult me!"
"Michelle!" Madeleine shouted. The first years looked at them shocked.
"You may go" Madeleine said, beckoning then out of the class, yet never taking her eyes of Michelle.
" What the hell do you think you're doing? I'm teaching self-defense. It should never be used for anything other then defense!!"
" You're bloody freaks!!" Maryann shouted, running out of the room, blood dripping from her now crumpled nose.
**************************
"You fell on my head" snapped Snape
" I know. I had to bathe for hours"
" Why you little-"
" That's heightism! I'm not small, just below the average height!"
" You broke my nose!"
" Your point?"
Infectious laughter suddenly filled the room. The four professors turned to see Dumbledore standing in the doorway.
" What may I ask is so funny?"
" Oh nothing Severous" chuckled Dumbledore, walking to his desk. " Now what can I do for the four of you?"
" Well this little.little.. professor is a complete lunatic and is unfit to teach!"
" And this so called 'assistant' is a volatile, violent monster. She shouldn't be allowed within ten feet of any child" Maryann added, sending daggers with her eyes at Michelle
"WHAT!!!" yelled the two accused women in unison.
" I'm unfit to teach! Why you slimy hypocrite-"
" I'm violent am I? I'll show you just how violent I can be shall I-"
"Michelle for gods sake shut up! I didn't mean to fall on your head it's not my fault YOU got in the way and if you made sure the dungeons, battle chamber or what every you want to call it was heated I wouldn't have fallen on your head. It would also stop a lot of the children in this school getting influenza."
"It's not our fault you can't keep your opinions to your self AND that you are against muggles and muggle borns. As for you." Michelle said turning on Snape. " I have kept my opinions of you to my self for the last few days. At first I felt sorry for you, know one talked to you I can see why! You are a horrible person who is to spiteful to see when some one is giving you a cry for help. Take Neville Longbottom for example. (at the Severus snorted.) you tell him he's doing some thing wrong. If you were a proper teacher and had heard of teaching methods, morals and hair care products you would see that telling him its wrong doesn't help. Most of the pupils are scared to death of you and the others have you wrapped around their little fingers. You are so biased towards the Slytherins. I'm the deputy and I'm saying this. Now if you don't mind we're going!"
"Stop worrying. Hakuna Matata . It means no worry's you should try using the theory." They both walked out singing the tune.
Madeleine: Hakuna Matata!
What a wonderful phrase
Michelle: Hakuna Matata!
Ain't no passing craze
Madeleine: It means no worries
For the rest of your days
It's our problem-free philosophy
Hakuna Matata!
When he was a young warthog
Michelle: When I was a young warthog
Madeleine: He found his aroma lacked a certain appeal
He could clear the savannah after ev'ry meal
Michelle: I'm a sensitive soul though I seem thick-skinned
And it hurt that my friends never stood downwind
And, oh, the shame
Thought-a changin' my name
And I got downhearted
Ev'rytime that I...
Madeleine: Hey, not in front of the Kids
Michelle Oh, sorry.
Both: Hakuna Matata!
What a wonderful phrase
Hakuna Matata!
Ain't no passing craze
It means no worries
For the rest of your days
It's our problem-free philosophy
Hakuna Matata!
Hakuna...it means no worries
For the rest of your days
It's our problem-free philosophy
As soon as the stone gargoyle had slammed they burst out into hysterical laughter.
"Michelle, this is my new assistant Maryann Murphy."
"Hi. Nice to meet you."
"A pleasure I'm sure" answered Maryann.
"Now I've got to teach. Michelle you can keep Maryann company while she watches the lesson"
Madeleine walked up to the teachers desk.
"Now before you can learn to defend yourself the magical way, you have to learn how to defend yourself the muggle way"
"What complete rubbish" muttered Maryann. Michelle chuckled softly. Madeleine proceeded to teach the lesson, while Maryann muttered comments under her breath.
"Complete rubbish, what the hell is she talking about, can't teach, might as well be a muggle"
Michelle constantly glared at her, feeling the anger slowly build up inside her.
"What do you think of her teaching methods?" asked Maryann, " I think she's crap, unfit to be a teacher, she should be fired" she carried on.
" Now remember, self defense should only be used to defend" Madeleine told the class.
Michelle couldn't control herself any longer. She stood up and punched Maryann with all her might, causing Maryann to fall to the hard floor.
"NEVER insult Madeleine in front of me! I have known her through primary and secondary school, through university, and we even taught in a muggle school together. If you insult her, you insult me!"
"Michelle!" Madeleine shouted. The first years looked at them shocked.
"You may go" Madeleine said, beckoning then out of the class, yet never taking her eyes of Michelle.
" What the hell do you think you're doing? I'm teaching self-defense. It should never be used for anything other then defense!!"
" You're bloody freaks!!" Maryann shouted, running out of the room, blood dripping from her now crumpled nose.
**************************
"You fell on my head" snapped Snape
" I know. I had to bathe for hours"
" Why you little-"
" That's heightism! I'm not small, just below the average height!"
" You broke my nose!"
" Your point?"
Infectious laughter suddenly filled the room. The four professors turned to see Dumbledore standing in the doorway.
" What may I ask is so funny?"
" Oh nothing Severous" chuckled Dumbledore, walking to his desk. " Now what can I do for the four of you?"
" Well this little.little.. professor is a complete lunatic and is unfit to teach!"
" And this so called 'assistant' is a volatile, violent monster. She shouldn't be allowed within ten feet of any child" Maryann added, sending daggers with her eyes at Michelle
"WHAT!!!" yelled the two accused women in unison.
" I'm unfit to teach! Why you slimy hypocrite-"
" I'm violent am I? I'll show you just how violent I can be shall I-"
"Michelle for gods sake shut up! I didn't mean to fall on your head it's not my fault YOU got in the way and if you made sure the dungeons, battle chamber or what every you want to call it was heated I wouldn't have fallen on your head. It would also stop a lot of the children in this school getting influenza."
"It's not our fault you can't keep your opinions to your self AND that you are against muggles and muggle borns. As for you." Michelle said turning on Snape. " I have kept my opinions of you to my self for the last few days. At first I felt sorry for you, know one talked to you I can see why! You are a horrible person who is to spiteful to see when some one is giving you a cry for help. Take Neville Longbottom for example. (at the Severus snorted.) you tell him he's doing some thing wrong. If you were a proper teacher and had heard of teaching methods, morals and hair care products you would see that telling him its wrong doesn't help. Most of the pupils are scared to death of you and the others have you wrapped around their little fingers. You are so biased towards the Slytherins. I'm the deputy and I'm saying this. Now if you don't mind we're going!"
"Stop worrying. Hakuna Matata . It means no worry's you should try using the theory." They both walked out singing the tune.
Madeleine: Hakuna Matata!
What a wonderful phrase
Michelle: Hakuna Matata!
Ain't no passing craze
Madeleine: It means no worries
For the rest of your days
It's our problem-free philosophy
Hakuna Matata!
When he was a young warthog
Michelle: When I was a young warthog
Madeleine: He found his aroma lacked a certain appeal
He could clear the savannah after ev'ry meal
Michelle: I'm a sensitive soul though I seem thick-skinned
And it hurt that my friends never stood downwind
And, oh, the shame
Thought-a changin' my name
And I got downhearted
Ev'rytime that I...
Madeleine: Hey, not in front of the Kids
Michelle Oh, sorry.
Both: Hakuna Matata!
What a wonderful phrase
Hakuna Matata!
Ain't no passing craze
It means no worries
For the rest of your days
It's our problem-free philosophy
Hakuna Matata!
Hakuna...it means no worries
For the rest of your days
It's our problem-free philosophy
As soon as the stone gargoyle had slammed they burst out into hysterical laughter.