At first she thought she'd lucked out as far as morning sickness went, but the morning of her first doctor's appointment, she found herself leaning miserably over the toilet bowl in the bathroom. She'd flipped the fan on as she ran in, but Rachel heard her anyway, and appeared in the doorway with a concerned, sleepy look on her face.
"Mon? Honey, what's the matter, are you sick?" She hurried into the bathroom and knelt down beside her friend, as Monica gripped the cool porcelain and struggled to take deep breaths.
"Water," she said shakily.
Rachel stood up and filled a Dixie cup to the brim, then helped her take a few sips. Finally, Monica nodded and took the cup from her, standing slowly and resting a hand gingerly against her stomach.
"What do you think it is?" Rachel asked worriedly. "Flu?"
"Uh…" Monica carefully avoided her eyes, but made the mistake of glancing into the mirror. She grimaced in shock at her reflection. She'd been sleeping fitfully for days now, and her eyes were red-rimmed and smudged with shadows. She was pale from throwing up, and looked almost ghostly under the harsh light. "I don't know. Maybe food poisoning."
Rachel filled another cup with fresh water, shaking her head. "Right," she said. "Food poisoning. Monica, obviously you haven't been well for a couple of weeks now. I told you I wanted you to see a doctor, and I mean it. I'm going to make you an appointment right now." She spun on her heel and marched out in the kitchen.
"No! Rachel…" Monica stumbled after her, hoping her first bout of morning sickness was over as she chased her friend into the kitchen. "I'm fine. Please don't."
Rachel already had the cordless phone in her hand, rifling through her purse for her own doctor's phone number. Monica snatched the phone away and shook her head.
"Please," she repeated, meeting her friends' startled expression. "I already know what's wrong. And I have an appointment to see my doctor this afternoon."
Rachel stared at her worriedly. "What? What's wrong?"
Monica sighed. "I wasn't going to tell you… not for a few weeks yet. Rach, if I tell you this, will you please keep it to yourself for awhile? I'm just not ready for other people to know."
Her friend was starting to look panicked. "Monica, is it bad news?" she murmured, her hand going to her mouth. "Are you… sick?"
"No," Monica replied, shaking her head. She stared at the floor for a moment, gathering her nerve – then looked up and met Rachel's eyes. "I'm pregnant," she said softly.
For a long moment, it wasn't clear whether Rachel had heard or registered what she had said. Finally, her eyes widened as the news started to sink in. "You're pregnant?" she asked. "Oh, my god… Monica…"
"I know." Monica sighed and looked away.
"How… how long have you known?"
Not the first question she'd expected out of Rachel's mouth, but definitely an easier one. "I've suspected for about two weeks now. Known for sure since last week. And I'm four weeks along now, just about."
"Wow," Rachel breathed. She chewed her lower lip, looking at Monica hesitantly. "Can you tell me… I mean, you haven't been seeing anyone, have you?"
"No, it just takes one night, unfortunately." Monica reached out for her friend's hand. "Rach… promise me you won't tell anyone. Please. Not until it's the right time."
"I won't tell." Rachel's eyes were as wide as a kid's in a toy shop. Monica stifled a smile despite the situation.
"Okay, it's… someone you know. Really, really well."
Rachel's mouth opened and closed for a moment. "Is it one of the guys?" she asked finally.
Monica nodded, taking a deep breath. "Chandler," she said.
Rachel's reaction was priceless – eyes widening to saucers, hands going to her mouth. "Chandler?" she finally squeaked, in a half-excited, half- shocked tone. "Are you serious? You slept with Chandler? Does he know?!"
Monica raised her eyebrows. "Does he know I slept with him? If not, telling him about the baby was probably a big mistake."
Rachel seemed oblivious of her sarcasm. "I can't believe this," she said. "You and Chandler? A baby? God, no wonder he told us he was swearing off sex and gave Joey the rest of his condoms! I just thought he wanted it to seem like he had a choice in being celibate."
Monica gave her a look. "Watch it," she said. "That's my baby's father you're talking about." Unconsciously, her hand drifted up to her belly and rubbed it slowly.
Rachel stared at her. "Ugh! This is just so weird!" she said. "How did it happen?"
"Let me see if there's a preface in my new copy of 'What To Expect When You're Expecting' that'll tell you everything you need to know."
"Monica," Rachel whined. "You know what I mean."
Monica sighed, giving her a pointed look. "We were depressed… we got drunk. Okay? Not exactly the most romantic tale in the world."
"Oh." Rachel looked thoughtful. "So are you guys… like… together now?"
"No – no," Monica said emphatically. "It was just a one night thing. And please, please don't mention anything like that to Chandler. He's having a hard enough time as it is."
"I can imagine – it's Chandler." Rachel shook her head. Suddenly she looked up at Monica and asked softly, "How are you dealing with this? How do you feel?"
"Honest?" Monica smiled tightly. "Scared. Shocked. This isn't… wasn't… how it was all supposed to happen."
"But, honey…" Rachel took Monica's arm and sat her down at the kitchen table, then sat down beside her and scooted her chair closer. "Just a few months ago you were considering having a baby…"
"And I came to my senses," Monica interrupted, rubbing at her eyes tiredly. "Now it's just… everything's all muddled. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. It doesn't even seem real yet. Something I've wanted since I was a little girl, you know, a baby… but it's like I can't even enjoy it, I'm too busy worrying about… everything."
"Mon." Rachel sighed, putting her arms around her in an awkward hug. "You know I'm here for you. And Chandler… he'll come around. You know? He's weird sometimes, and irresponsible, but for heaven's sakes he's not Joey. There's still hope. And he loves you. You guys are gonna get through this because your friendship is so strong. And the rest of us will be behind you a hundred percent. Every step of the way."
Tears flooded Monica's vision at her friend's kind words. She hugged back, leaning her head on Rachel's shoulder. "Thank you," she whispered. "And thank god you know. Now you can start helping me slip sedatives in Chandler's dinner. He's so much easier to deal with when he's calm."
---
Dr. Keener had yet to make an appearance, and Chandler was pacing holes in the floor. Monica tracked him from her uncomfortable seat on the exam table.
"Chandler," she said.
"What?"
"If you don't stay still, I'm going to name our child after your father. Gender notwithstanding."
He grimaced. "Sorry," he murmured, stopping beside the table and glancing at his watch for the thirty-eighth time in the past four minutes.
She decided she had something that could possibly take his mind off the impending sonogram. "Rachel knows," she said off-handedly, studying her toenails and deciding they could use a fresh coat of polish.
Chandler choked on his gum. He coughed, clutching at his throat. "What?" he rasped, when he could breathe again. "You told her?"
"She caught me throwing up this morning," Monica said. "Besides, I couldn't keep this from her forever. She's my best friend… and, I think we need to start talking about telling everyone else soon, too. Sooner or later they're bound to notice I'm pregnant."
Chandler cringed. "Ross, too?" he asked. "Couldn't you just say you're getting fat again?"
Monica whipped her head around to glare at him. "Chandler, sweetie, I know you're my friend, father of my child, flesh of my flesh and all that… but if you ever, ever use the F word around me again for the next eight months, I'll murder you in your sleep," she snapped.
He stared at her. Finally, his expression cleared like a light bulb had just appeared over his head. "Ah," he said knowingly. "Mood swings. I'm supposed to be 'sympathetic and proactive' during the first trimester." He grinned proudly. "You're not the only one who has reading material now."
Monica didn't know whether to burst out laughing or hurt him for real. Luckily, she was saved when Dr. Keener chose that moment to enter.
"Hello!" she said, smiling warmly at them both. "I'm Elizabeth Keener; you must be Monica and Chandler."
"Hi," they both replied, taking turns shaking her hand.
"It's very nice to meet you both. Now, let's get started, shall we?" And with that, the doctor launched into a long series of questions directed mostly at Monica, while Chandler sank into a chair against the wall and listened with a vague sense of unreality. They were talking about medical problems. His family didn't have any history of medical problems, did they? He realized he didn't even know.
Which made him think that he should call his mom… but then he'd have to tell her about the baby. And he was not ready for people to know about the baby, even though Rachel now knew, which meant half of Manhattan would probably know by this evening. Including Ross.
As Dr. Keener proceeded with the exam, taking Monica's blood pressure and then drawing a sample, Chandler distracted himself by envisioning various worst-case scenarios taking place in the delivery room in thirty-one short weeks. And even if, god willing, nothing earth shattering happened during the delivery…
A baby. A baby. What the hell was he going to do with a baby? He didn't have the first clue about kids of any age. Maybe Ross would offer some moral support, after he beat the crap out of him.
Chandler buried his face in his hands and sighed.
"Chandler." Monica's voice floated down to him minutes – or possibly hours – later. He raised his head and squinted at her blearily.
"She's going to listen to the heartbeat now," Monica said quietly. Her face was drawn and carefully blank as she appraised Chandler's gloomy expression. He obviously couldn't be less thrilled about this baby, and it had quickly killed any illusion she'd had about the two of them getting through this with their friendship intact.
A young technician entered the room with an ultrasound machine and began hooking it up, while Chandler stood up and approached the bed like he was on his way to his own execution. Monica sighed and looked away, out the window.
For a few brief minutes that morning, talking to Dr. Keener, she'd actually managed to work up some genuine excitement. A baby… she was going to have a baby.
But now…
Reality had crashed back in, more quickly than she had thought.
The technician rubbed gel on her bare stomach, and Monica cringed. She'd had to pee for about an hour now, and that definitely wasn't making it better.
"What's that?" Chandler asked curiously.
"For the image to show up on the monitor, we have to move the ultrasound machine over the womb. This just makes it easier," the technician explained, smiling reassuringly.
"Image? I thought it was just the heartbeat." Chandler was now gazing at the darkened monitor, a strange expression on his face.
"You'll be able to hear that, too," the technician replied. She carefully wiped her hands and then reached for the ultrasound machine. "Are you ready?"
"Yeah," Monica said softly, and after a moment Chandler nodded his assent. Monica turned to look at him, standing apart from her with his hands shoved deep in his pockets, but he was still staring at the monitor.
A heavy silence fell over the room. If the technician noticed the lack of excitement or even communication on the part of the parents-to-be, she said nothing, merely going about her business as Monica held her breath.
Finally, the monitor crackled to life, just as the sound of a very small heartbeat filled the quiet room.
To Be Continued.
---
Author's Note: I know nothing of ultrasounds or pregnancy, really, so sorry if any of this is inaccurate. Thanks for the great reviews! You don't know how much I appreciate them.