Back to the Ocean
AN: this is a short piece on reflection and coping this is also my first fanfic so go easy on me if you review. I don't own any of these characters…blah blah blah this just came to me when I was doing my own reflecting on the ocean.
The sun dips slowly behind the horizon, turning the sky into a mesmerizing watercolor painting. Blues, reds and purples blending together, small pinpoints of white light shining through the last remnants of hazy clouds. The dark water in front of me ripples softly against the sand of the beach as I look out to the ocean until the sun fades completely and only the reflection of the crescent moon stares back at me.
I've always wondered why I continue to come back to the ocean in my time of need. Reflection maybe? Maybe. I know it soothes me, hypnotizes me and I can finally pick through the jumbled thoughts in my head and put them back together in some sort of semblance. I seem to have need of that lately. How long will I be here putting my thoughts in order? As long as it takes, I guess.
I love her smile, the way her eyes light up when she's genuinely happy. I can't help but smile back at her, my heart beating quickly, a staccato my brain seems to understand, but my mouth can not open and say.
I know it's time to confess; I've been given a rather large sign that has shocked me down to the bottom of my soul. Never did it occur to me that something like this could ever happen to him. Not him. I'm the one who puts myself into danger. I'm the one who plays the hero. I'm the one…who should be where he is. And yet here I stand, hale, hearty and whole. Such is life, everything unexpected, unable to see around the next corner.
"Hey sailor."
I feel her hand on my arm, the spot heating instantly. I close my eyes, take a deep breath and hold it. I knew she would find me. I just didn't know when. I exhale slowly and open my eyes, turning to look at her. Her eyes catch mine and I can see the sadness and concern emanating from them. And somewhere in there, love. Something I finally let myself see.
"Harm?"
"I'm ok. Just thinking."
"Something all of us are doing a lot of lately."
"Hmm. Some more than others." I turn back to the ocean, silent.
"I know."
"He seems so…broken. So lost."
"At one time, so were you, hell I was too. But he seems to have taken on some of our qualities…determination, stubbornness…pride. We won't let this get him down. He has a wife and child, the entire JAG office and the JAG behind him. That's more than some people have."
"Like us?"
"A long time ago, maybe. But we found each other, good and bad."
The air has gotten chilly and she shivers slightly. I wrap my arms around her and pull her to the sand, sitting her between my legs. She leans back against me and I hear a small sigh escape her lips. I rest my chin on top of her head, breathing in the scent of her shampoo. I love her smell. I love her eyes, her mouth. Hell, I love everything about her.
"Sarah?" I feel her tense slightly, and then shift in my arms so that she's looking directly into my eyes. She waits, sensing my need to finish the sentence in my own way. It's time. I can't hide behind those infamous words I uttered under a bridge a lifetime ago. Not anymore. Quietly I begin again.
"Sarah, is this the right time for us? " I see her hesitate, unsure of the question, possibly unsure of me. Then she smiles.
"I don't know Harm. But I'd like to try. It's something we'll have to work on. There are never any guaranties in life…or love."
The last part she said so quietly, I almost missed it. And there it was, on the table, Sarah's heart. I know what I need and it will make me stronger for my friend. Her.
"I love you Sarah." My mouth has finally opened and said the right thing.
AN: this is a short piece on reflection and coping this is also my first fanfic so go easy on me if you review. I don't own any of these characters…blah blah blah this just came to me when I was doing my own reflecting on the ocean.
The sun dips slowly behind the horizon, turning the sky into a mesmerizing watercolor painting. Blues, reds and purples blending together, small pinpoints of white light shining through the last remnants of hazy clouds. The dark water in front of me ripples softly against the sand of the beach as I look out to the ocean until the sun fades completely and only the reflection of the crescent moon stares back at me.
I've always wondered why I continue to come back to the ocean in my time of need. Reflection maybe? Maybe. I know it soothes me, hypnotizes me and I can finally pick through the jumbled thoughts in my head and put them back together in some sort of semblance. I seem to have need of that lately. How long will I be here putting my thoughts in order? As long as it takes, I guess.
I love her smile, the way her eyes light up when she's genuinely happy. I can't help but smile back at her, my heart beating quickly, a staccato my brain seems to understand, but my mouth can not open and say.
I know it's time to confess; I've been given a rather large sign that has shocked me down to the bottom of my soul. Never did it occur to me that something like this could ever happen to him. Not him. I'm the one who puts myself into danger. I'm the one who plays the hero. I'm the one…who should be where he is. And yet here I stand, hale, hearty and whole. Such is life, everything unexpected, unable to see around the next corner.
"Hey sailor."
I feel her hand on my arm, the spot heating instantly. I close my eyes, take a deep breath and hold it. I knew she would find me. I just didn't know when. I exhale slowly and open my eyes, turning to look at her. Her eyes catch mine and I can see the sadness and concern emanating from them. And somewhere in there, love. Something I finally let myself see.
"Harm?"
"I'm ok. Just thinking."
"Something all of us are doing a lot of lately."
"Hmm. Some more than others." I turn back to the ocean, silent.
"I know."
"He seems so…broken. So lost."
"At one time, so were you, hell I was too. But he seems to have taken on some of our qualities…determination, stubbornness…pride. We won't let this get him down. He has a wife and child, the entire JAG office and the JAG behind him. That's more than some people have."
"Like us?"
"A long time ago, maybe. But we found each other, good and bad."
The air has gotten chilly and she shivers slightly. I wrap my arms around her and pull her to the sand, sitting her between my legs. She leans back against me and I hear a small sigh escape her lips. I rest my chin on top of her head, breathing in the scent of her shampoo. I love her smell. I love her eyes, her mouth. Hell, I love everything about her.
"Sarah?" I feel her tense slightly, and then shift in my arms so that she's looking directly into my eyes. She waits, sensing my need to finish the sentence in my own way. It's time. I can't hide behind those infamous words I uttered under a bridge a lifetime ago. Not anymore. Quietly I begin again.
"Sarah, is this the right time for us? " I see her hesitate, unsure of the question, possibly unsure of me. Then she smiles.
"I don't know Harm. But I'd like to try. It's something we'll have to work on. There are never any guaranties in life…or love."
The last part she said so quietly, I almost missed it. And there it was, on the table, Sarah's heart. I know what I need and it will make me stronger for my friend. Her.
"I love you Sarah." My mouth has finally opened and said the right thing.