Authors Note: Alrighty... I have had this fic stuck in my head since the sixth grade... and I'm almost in High School, so that a pretty long time for ONE flippen' ficcie! I had this idea when, instead of mediatating, I would lie down on my bed, with no lights on, and just go into my own world. I had no friends, so I had no life and DBZ was a better world for me to escape to.
But, now, I have a love life and true, wonderful friends, and I haven't went into my La-La Land anymore, except when I'm trying to sleep, and then it's GW. So, after watching DBZ for the first time after, like, 2 years of NOT watching it, I finally decided to put this fic into writing.
I rated it R, because of lime and cussing, and basically the DBZ guys and gals acting how they always do... It's how I pictured Bulma telling Vegita she had a kid would be like... I hadn't seen that part of the series yet, so of course I made something up! It takes place at Roshi's house, right before the Android battle. Trunks is, like, two... erk.. And I DO try not to make anyone totally OOC.
This is dedicated to everyone I love. Platonically and romantically.
Brady

~*~*~
Bulma smiled at her son and didn't let him see her worry. That boy had a wonderful mind for such a young child.
"Mama!" He chortled. "Can we go see Uncle Gokey now? Pwease?"
Bluma sighed and picked him up. "Okay, trunks. We'll go see Uncle Goku now."
"Yay!"
~*~*~
Goku, at the moment, was lounging on Roshi's couch, dimmly hearing his wife bitch about something... *again*.
Gohan had earplugs in his ears and was writing furiously at a portable desk ChiChi had brought along.
Roshi was sipping a beer and watching an excersize show. Maily featuring busty women in skin-tight clothing. Yamcha was watching as well, but looked less enthused then the wily old pervert. Puar, the only smart one in the whole gruop, had refused to come, knowing ChiChi would be there and that so would Bulma.
And having Bulma and Yamcha in the same room was *not* a good thing.
Tenshinhan and Chou zou were talking out back, on lawn chairs, waiting for Vegita and Bulma.
~*~*~
Bulma arrived first, wearing a tight blue shirt that said 'Don't stare at me like that just because we're opposites!' and on the back stated 'Even though *I* am gorgeous!'
"That's Bulma for ya..." Yamcha muttered to the TV screen, sipping his beer.
She glared at him, but held her tongue for once. She did *not* need is smart-ass remarks, not while she was more nervous then she'd ever been before in her life!
A loud wail was heard from outside and everyone stopped what they were doing, except for Roshi and Gohan. Gohan had earplugs... Roshi was just being a hentai.
Bulma ran back outside and walked in with a boy clutching her hand with his own small digits. His light violet hair was cropped short, and his eyes were penitrating, light blue. His features were very sharp, but he was small.
"Guys." Bulma said, grinning. "This is Trunks!"
Goku let out a whoop. "Go, Bulma!" Then he stopped, fist in the air, and stared at her, eyes blank. "A kid? And you didn't kill it yet?!"
Yamcha had turned pale. "Wha-wha-wha—"
"He isn't your's, lech." She snapped. "Keep your pants on. Oh, wait. That wouldn't happen ANYWAY!"
Goku started to laugh, lowering his arm. "You're cruel, Bulma!"
She shrugged. "Anyway, he's-"
"Vegitas." Piccolo's voice said from behind her.
She turned, shoulder length hair hitting her cheek. "Oh, hi, green bean." She smirked, then smiled. "Heya, Piccolo."
He scowled and then nodded in response, closest he'd ever come to a smile at the blue-haired human female.
"So, why'd your family get yet another pair of underwear, eh, Bulma?" Yamcha asked sarcastically.
She turned to glare at him, eyes flashing. "Yamcha, I can still easily kick your ass."
Chichi noded, crossing her amrs. "Yes, she can."
"Pipe it, Chichi!" Yamcha yelled at the raven haired wife.
Gohan heard *that*. He got out of his desk and took out the ear plugs, facing Yamcha. "Yamcha-" He began, but Piccolo put a green, clawed hand on the small boys shoulder.
"Gohan, your mother knows what to do."
Indeed, Chichi *did*. She was hitting Yamcha over the head with a frying pan, off loan from Roshi.
"What's with all the screaming?" Came a rough, slightly british accent. (Okay, Okay, I'm SORRY about the dub accent coming in! I've heard the subbed stuff, but I like the accent! Flame me if ya don't like it!)
Once again, Bulma turned, but this time she smiled widely. "Hey, Vegita! Wasobi??"
He ignored her, and landed his hard gaze on Yamcha. "Why are you letting that onna do that? Even a human weakling-" He spat out the dreaded 'w' word, "-like yourself should be able to handle *that*."
Goku stood from his place on the couch. "Watch your mouth, Vegita." He said, voice warning.
"Both of you, SHUT UP!" Bulma screamed, placing a hand on each mans chest before they tried to kill each other... *AGAIN*. "Vegitable-Head, we don't need your classic asshole remarks right before the andriods come, got it?! Rice-Breath, cool your jets! You have bigger and better idiots to fry before today is over!"
Goku nodded and sat back down, taking a deep breath. "You're right, Bulma." He said softly.
Vegita scoffed. "Puh. Woman, don't tell me what to do. I am the Prince-"
She slapped him before he could continue. "Don't give me that Saiya-jin crap, Vegita! And the name is 'Bulma'! B-u-l-m-a."
He glared at her, ebony eyes dangerously glinting. "Woman, I don't care if you're the ruler of this planet! You have-"
She slapped him again. Odd, everytime she hit him, he seemed to be expecting it, but made no move to stop her, Gohan noticed. Why is that?
"You left to train even when you knew I was pregnant, you bastard! How dare you even call yourself a man?!" She yelled, face going red with her anger. "Is ditching pregnant women something they used to do on your planet, or is it something you picked up on Earth?!"
"I picked up nothing from this wrecthed planet!" Vegita snarled, insulted and slightly ashamed. For what reasons, he didn't know why.
"Except a few STD's from Bulma." Yamcha mutterd, causing Roshi and Krillen (Whom had been in the kicthen, eating), to laugh.
"FUCK OFF, YAMCHA!" Bulma yelled.
"..." Tenshinhan watched this all with slight amusment.
"Mommy!" Trunks cried, hands on his hips, much like Bulma's had been. "Stop yelling!"
Bulma froze and took a breath. "I cannot believe I lost my temper like that in front of Trunks..." She hissed to herself. Looking again to Vegita, she motioned to her son. "This is your child, Vegita. His name is Trunks Briefs."
Vegita looked shocked, but didn't say anything. Trunks walked up to him and looked up, strands of violet hair falling into his sky blue eyes.
"Mommy say Daddy strong." He made a face and crossed his chubby arms. "Mommy wong!" (Yes, I spelt that correctly. Little Trunks cannot say 'wrong' correct, okay??)
Vegita knelt down to look his son in the eyes. "Your mother is a bitch."
Trunks twisted up his face and bit Vegita's nose. Goku howled with laughter as the short Saiya-jin let out a short cry.
Yamcha began to laugh. "The things kids get from their mothers..."
~*~*~
::laughs nervously:: Not the best...but I dun care! It gets weirder... Gohan tries to kill himself. O.O;; Yes, Mr. Goody-Goody-I'll-Go-Kick- Ass-Now-That-My-Dad-Was-Killed tries to commit suicide... after Goku gets killed by Cell, of course. ::rolls eyes:: I was on major citrus sniffing when I dreamt of this! My e-mail's NekosDream@AOL.com, so write me for feedback. ...I love my screen name....lol.