Author's Note: First off thanks to Sunchan, the originator of my only review. Writing takes time and work. I used to write so horribly, just rushing things and my stories came out all lopsided and indecipherable. I know you can write better than I can. Okay, so this section goes more drama than romance too, but there'll be more S+S and some humor too. Enjoy. As always, if you want to tell me something, please do, just hit the review button. Thanks.
Disclaimer: I agree with everyone else; this is depressing. I don't own CCS, CLAMP does, and what a wonderful job they do too. So I'm not liable to be sued. Okay?
When Everything Else is GoneChapter 2: Sakura's Second Family
Kinomoto Sakura slid open the door to her class, all eyes on her. She blinked, inwardly cringing at the futile display of sympathy. Her eyes averted to the back of the room, a fifth grade relic, a section of life which had blissfully not changed; she still sat by the window safely guarded by Tomoyo on her right and Syaoran behind. Both were lost in conversation which was apparently serious; Tomoyo had a look in her eye which was unmistakable: sadness. Sakura immediately knew that Tomoyo had found out about Touya. Her violet eyes that begged to explode with tears said as much. Sakura found her way numbly to her seat, winding in between aisles of friends she had distanced from over the years for fear of having them hurt: Chiharu, Yamakazi, Rika, Noako. They had all given her the look; Sakura knew they meant the best, but she hated the look, and turned her eyes back to her vacant seat. Tomoyo immediately sat up rigid as Sakura made her way to the back of the room; Tomoyo's violet eyes were glued to the approaching figure desperately wanting to comfort her, but Sakura knew that there could be no consolation. Settling her books down on her desk, she braced herself for the looming conversation. She didn't have to wait long.
"Sakura?" queried Tomoyo, twisting her fingers together, afraid of Sakura's reaction.
"Yes, Tomoyo?" Sakura's face remained impassive; she was ready to lie, to hide her emotions, to pass the day as if nothing happened.
"Are you okay?" Her worried expression intensified as she noticed Sakura struggling with her words.
"O-of course, I'm fine." Again Sakura tried to put on a smile, but found it utterly impossible to move her mouth lest she start to uncontrollably sob.
"Are you sure?" Sakura turned around to see Syaoran trying to study her, his eyes full of concern and comfort. He knew. He had to; Sakura noted his sympathy and fought hard against her emotions.
"Yes, I'm fine." Abruptly turning around, Sakura stared straight faced at the black board as if it held a hypnotic effect on her. Inwardly she tried to resist the urge to collapse utterly and finally give up. There was only so much she could take and fighting against love was like trying to put Touya's death out of her mind. Reluctantly she turned back around and tried to pacify Syaoran and Tomoyo, but unexpectedly, upon seeing both their faces, her will shattered and the tears that she promised would never come again, flew like the downward rain tracing her pale features so that she looked like a weeping statue. She expected sympathy from Tomoyo and Syaoran, but didn't expect much comfort. On that, she was fortunately wrong.
Two pairs of arms enveloped the sobbing card mistress' form, one pair sturdy and possessively grasping her close while the other pair, slender and graceful lightly holding her and rubbing her back. It was bliss; there was security in their embrace; Sakura felt at once that she was a part of something she had thought she lost forever: a family. She smiled sadly into her tears and her loud sobbing receded to small hiccups while she desperately tried to pull herself together, but she found herself too weak to try. And so she continued quietly sobbing in strangled gasps as if her tears had filled her lungs. The four arms remained around her in support preventing her from slipping to the ground.
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The class had begun when there was a sudden cry and uncontrolled sobbing. The students and teacher traced the source back to Sakura and knowingly remained silent. They could hardly imagine how they would deal if their families had suffered the way hers had. It was a painful sight to watch: a human being as kind and happy as Sakura had been reduced to a shell of a person she once was, haunted by a looming veil of misfortune. The class stared on in silent sympathy as Sakura wept continually in the arms of Syaoran and Tomoyo. With a slight nod from the teacher, both teenagers gently lifted Sakura and led her outside. Pairs of eyes noted Sakura's red face and dull green eyes as they followed the three to the door.
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Syaoran's eyes went wide at what Tomoyo had just told him. Touya was dead? Inwardly, he cursed himself for never getting along with him. Guilt appeared in close succession reminding him that his wind odufa had failed to blow away the Mist. Finally, the realization dawned on him why Sakura had been even more distant today than before. His heart wrenched as he remembered her attempt at a smile.
Tomoyo was no better, her eyes were filled with tears ready to cascade at a moment's notice, her hands clenching and unclenching in subconscious twitches. She bit her lower lip, inhaled deeply and fought the lump in her throat. "And I know you love her, so please help her through this. Sometimes…sometimes, I think as much as I try, she only really lets herself feel when she's with you. So…" She left the sentence unfinished as she spotted the movement of the card mistress out of the corner of her eye. Tomoyo straightened and tried to gather her nerves and push away her tears as Sakura dropped her books onto the desk. ""Sakura?"
"Yes, Tomoyo?" Syaoran looked at her noting the stone face. She was trying hard to hide her sorrow but her eyes concentrated the pain making them dark green, near black. He wanted to tell her it would all be alright, but that would be a lie; he knew there would be other horrible tragedies, but he'd promised himself, he'd damn well try his best to stop them.
"Are you okay?" Tomoyo looked deeper at Sakura trying to get her to drop her barrier.
"O-of course, I'm fine." The falseness was there again, and both Tomoyo and Syaoran knew.
"Are you sure?" Syaoran asked. He was without words, she was so full of pain that he hurt as if he was being burned.
"Yes, I'm fine." As she turned around, Syaoran and Tomoyo noticed her figure quiver with barely perceptible trembles. Suddenly, she turned back around making eye contact with both. Her face contorted into that of a broken human being with her tears already hanging on her eyelashes. Pitching forward, she sobbed uncontrollably.
Syaoran winced as she cried, his arms encircling her slender form tightly pulling her close to his chest. He never wanted to let her go. He wanted to feel her body against his, to know that at this moment she was still alive, to put the fear of her dying far from his mind where it always remained. He looked over the trembling teenager's head to Tomoyo who had lightly gripped Sakura's shoulders and was rubbing her back, tears already rolling down her cheeks. As Sakura subsided in her sobs, Syaoran and Tomoyo gently pulled her to her feet, and after having gotten the teacher's permission, led her away.
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"It hurts so bad. It's like I'm torn in half, and I can't even try to put myself together. I just can't, I just…" Sakura relapsed back into half-sobs and unfocused ramblings. "If I just sensed it earlier or pushed him out of the way…I just…it hurts. It hurts so bad, I just…" Again, she fell back into cries without words, her body slowly exhausting itself. Her eyelids felt heavy as they shut while her body still shuddered by reflex. Soon, her body relaxed itself as her mind slipped into sleep. Her arms still encircling Li Syaoran's torso for support. She let out a sigh as her mind clouded over and went blank.
Syaoran had been holding her for nearly three hours trying to offer soothing words as she grieved. Tomoyo had reluctantly went back to school to excuse them for the day. They were at his apartment; her home held too many memories. He looked down at the sleeping figure, her face pale and relaxed, her cheeks scalded pink by her tears. She looked shattered, the life that he had seen in Tomoyo's videos and between Clow Card captures had almost vanished, replaced by dread and a cold determination. She had become inhuman, pushed to the extreme by the cards. Every time he saw her like this, his body ached, his stomach twisted horribly, his heart spewed forth pain with every heart beat, his mind threw insults at itself. He had been unable to protect her from all this. She had stood up bravely to the cards, battling against them again and again and successful in capturing some of them. She was definitely the rightful card mistress, but she lost so much for her forty odd cards: her family, her friends, her heart. Quietly, he disentangled himself from her grip wanting nothing more to cradle her in his arms for eternity. But he had to do something, something that hopefully would provide some comfort to his love. Sakura stirred slightly as he left her, her face in a small frown, but she remained asleep. One last look at her, he headed out into the hall for the phone.
"Hello?" A girl's laughing voice echoed from her end. She seemed immersed in her own enjoyment giggling with other female voices in the background.
"Meling?" Syoaran could barely stand the laugher that seemed to mock him, reminding him of what had been taken away from Sakura.
"Syaoran?" Meiling's mouth twitched from smile and frown, fearing the worst. "Is it Sakura?" Her anxiety increased when she heard no response from his end. "Did something happen to her?"
"No, it's…" Syoaran hesitated. He heard Meiling shoo away her friends and return to the phone. "It's…her brother."
"Touya?" Meiling's face skewed upwards in thought with the horror of realization sinking in. "Don't tell me…" She left the question unfinished hoping he would contradict it, but he didn't.
"Hai. He…passed…this morning." He swallowed the lump that formed. "I think that you should come here for a few weeks; Sa…Sakura would appreciate a familiar face."
"He's…dead?" Meiling still processed the shock, choking back the tears that rushed to her eyes as she thought about Sakura's pain. Originally, she had hated the card mistress, for being so smug, demanding that she and Syoaran leave Japan. It was even worse when she realized that Syaoran had fallen in love with her. But it wasn't arrogance; she knew now. Sakura was trying to prevent her from getting hurt. Meiling knew Sakura didn't know, but she had heard her sobbing and apologizing after the Twin was captured. From then on, Meiling had treated her as a friend, even like a sister. "She…" The tears had escaped. She blinked them away and set her face in determination. "I'll be there tomorrow morning."
"Arigatou…Meiling. I'm sure she'll appreciate it."
"Take care of her tonight. I know you will. Give her love. She needs it."
"I…I will. I'll take her to meet you tomorrow morning at Penguin Park."
"Right. I'm already packing." Meiling clicked off the phone and gathered the clothes about her room, stuffing them into an open suitcase. Her tears had been spent, she had to be strong for Sakura. She slammed her palm against her dresser. How could this happen to someone like her? She was the kindest person Meiling had every known. She didn't deserve this pain. Meiling passed her mind back to a year ago before Sakura's family tragedies, a time between Clow Card captures where the future had seemed to hold infinite joys.
AN: I know, it's really sad, but the next chapter is a flashback. So it's happy and classic CCS, you know with the blushing, the video taping, etc.