Author's Note: Okay, I know a lot of people hate cliffhangers so I cut off this chapter somewhere non-annoying. That and if I really went to where I wanted to stop, I'd have to post this about three days late and it'd be way, way too long for a chapter, for me anyway. I hope to get the rest of this chapter up in a few days, maybe a week. I'm actually looking forward to finishing it. I guess it's mild mushiness warning; I tried to tone it down to a level appropriate for a drama, but you can decide. Arigatou for all who reviewed; you have no idea how my day brightened after reading them. And as always, read and review. Onegai? Pretty, pretty please? With a cherry on top?
'…' –thoughts
"…"—talking
____________- scene or point of view change
Disclaimer: *big sigh* I don't own anything to do with Cardcaptor Sakura unless you count this little fanfic. If you have a problem with the series, contact CLAMP.
Chapter 5: A Return
I was exhausted. I had been at the school for nearly four hours tracking down teachers and explaining things until my voice was nearly gone. I knew that Sakura didn't want anyone to know about Touya, but they wouldn't stop questioning me. I had to finally give up grasping for lies; they'd find out soon enough anyway. Even so, they detained me for an eternity going through all the support services that the school has to offer and the counseling centers scattered about Tomoeda, all the while my mind kept racing back to Sakura. I was tempted to stand up and leave, but I bit my tongue and sat motionless, nodding as if I actually heard a word they said. I watched the clock tick by, the hour hand striking seven. When are they going to finish?
_____________________________
Tomoyo stood before a door banging her fist against the wood, alarm beginning to show itself on her face. Why was no one answering? What happened? She cautiously tried the doorknob, finding it unlocked. Her panic screamed. 'Why was the door unlocked?' Something in her mind, however, held back her terror. It placated, 'because he never locks it.' Momentarily soothed, Tomoyo stepped warily into the apartment; all the lights were on, a stillness saturated the air. Peering down the hall, Tomoyo found a sleeping Li Syaoran on the couch, but where was Sakura? She was about to wake him up, and question him, when she spotted the card mistress' arms wrapped tightly around his body, head on his chest. Tomoyo's eyes lost their strained quality, instead being overrun by stars. She held in a 'kawaii,' barely, as she remembered they were sleeping. She watched them for a while, a smile of uncontainable mirth on her lips.
Her expression faltered though, a new horror rising to mind. 'I should have brought my camera with me! How could I miss one of Sakura's most kawaii moments?!' But she had gotten too used to not carrying around her camera. She only captured Sakura's happy moments in life, and for nearly a year, there have been few. She used to follow Sakura to tape card captures, camera in hand, smiling joyfully at the prospect of Sakura defeating another magical spirit in her own Tomoyo designed costume. That dream had lasted about a month before Sakura convinced her to stay away, afraid for her safety. Tomoyo had even given up designing battle costumes too, afraid that each stitch was one step closer to finishing Sakura's burial shroud. So the video camera has remained on a shelf for nearly a year next to a few cassettes of genki Sakura; the sewing machine, too, is collecting dust, a yard of silk ribbon left half unsown. Tomoyo's vision fell on the Dream, laying carelessly on the table. 'They caught a Clow card tonight? No wonder they're asleep so early.' She decided to come back tomorrow morning to check up one them; no doubt they'd have had a heart attack if she were found asleep in the apartment. "Good night Sakura, Li." With that, she closed the door behind her, a soft scrape barely disturbing the comfortable silence.
__________________________
7:00 AM
Early morning sunlight filtered through thin curtains, a muffled light casting a curious iridescence about the room. Sakura woke slowly, her senses taking notice slowly, a scent of leaves, a warmth beneath her, her head slowly rising and falling. She half smiled; she was in Syaoran's arms. She looked upward watching his sleeping face; he seemed contented. More importantly, he was alive. Slowly she removed her arms from around his chest, untying his arms from her back and lifted herself off the couch. She silenced his unconscious protest with a caress of her fingers across his cheek. She had to convince him to leave her, to leave Japan, to leave the Clow cards behind. It was that or watch him die; she picked up the Dream. It was right; how many more escapes could he possibly have before ending up like Touya? She was on the balcony watching the sun pull itself from its slumber, bare rays crawling along the horizon, growing red filling the dark sky. Touya. Out there she knew that her oni-chan was with her okaa-san, freed from the labors of life, the pain of existence, but at the same time, denied the years of love they would have had, unable to live the rest of their lives. Her okaa-san's death was out of her control, nature's indiscriminant eye, but her oni-chan…he could have been saved. How many lives had she destroyed by her cowardice, her slowness? Her own, there was no doubt in that, but worse yet, she had crushed Yukito. He had been by her side for as long as she could remember, a smiling face that never seemed to fade, and how had she repaid his loyalty? By letting his love die. He was right to be angry at her; she was angry at herself. Sakura dropped her head into her hands, her whole body leaning against the railing. The pain in her chest intensified as guilt slowly gave way to fear. What if Tomoyo or Syaoran were hurt by a card? What if she couldn't seal Sleep in time? She had no more tears; she wanted to be strong. Her face still burned, raw from yesterday's tears. She had to be strong; she tried to reach deep within her for something, but all she could feel was emptiness. Her knees gave way under her, her body lying on the concrete ground. It was cold, biting her flesh; she didn't flinch. She didn't move, pain was her companion; she let it wash over her without objection.
________________________________
7:45 AM
Syaoran surfaced gradually from sleep, a residual warmth across his cheek. And yet, there was something missing; he tightened his arms expecting to feel a gentle pressure against him; instead he found nothing. His eyes snapped open, searching. "Sakura?" The only answer returned was his own question echoing through the empty rooms. Steadying himself on sleepy legs, he tried to spot the card mistress. "Sakura?" Still no answer. He focused his eyes, his mind tingling with summoned magic. He could tell she was near; her faint pink aura flashed to life in his mind's eye. Again he scanned the room; the faint aura flickered near his balcony. "Sakura?" He quietly approached, only to find her lying on the cold cement of the terrace, face turned towards him, green eyes open but not seeing. He rushed to her figure, kneeling by her face. "Daijobu?" She remained silent, her body as unmoving. Terror gripped him as he pulled her towards him; he mentally sighed in relief as he noted her breath. "What's wrong Sakura? Tell me."
She responded to the warmth of his body by slowly turning her pale face slowly. "Syaoran?"
"Hai?" There was something off about her voice; even in her grief she had a glimmer of hope, but there was something about her now, an icy edge like desperation.
"Do something for me?" Her icy tone held as she looked away from his searching amber eyes. It would near impossible to do what she had in mind, but she had tried anyway.
"I'll do anything; just tell me what's wrong." He gently lifted her chin, but she closed her eyes as if she couldn't look at his face.
"Go…home." She paused listening for his response, but all remained silent. She forced her eyes to open, only to see the confusion in his eyes.
"Home?" He was completely puzzled. He was home; why would she want him to go somewhere he already was?
"Home…to Hong Kong." She could sense his shock, but she forced herself on, the strength coming from the last reserves she had left in her body. "There's nothing for you here; I can captured the Clow cards myself and…" She swallowed the lump in her throat, her voice wavering without control. "and…I don't love you." Her heart was squeezed as if in a vice, constricted. She silently wondered if he felt as destroyed as she was feeling.
Her words caused Syaoran's body to recoil as he had been physically attacked, an ache building in his chest. 'Is it true?' Something in her voice said she was lying; he pushed farther, his voice barely audible. "Are…you telling me the truth, Sakura?"
She prepared to answer, the 'hai' already formed in her throat, but at sound of her name in his breath, her last reserve, that last little strength preventing her from falling apart, ran out. She couldn't lie to him. Her mind raced with apologies. 'Of course I love you; I need you.' Her voice, however, remained silent.
He watched her face intently, her silence practically a confession. He pulled her close to himself like last night, warming her cold body. He buried his head in her hair, whispering softly. "Why would you say those things?"
She melted in his arms; her head laying on his shoulder; it was just too inviting. As if she drew on his strength, her voice came to life, speaking every thought that came to mind. "I didn't want to say it; I do need your help. I do love you." She flinched as she realized her admission. She had sealed his fate; how she wished she had never said it. Throwing insults at herself she clutched at his shirt frantically. "Onegai, Syaoran, forget what I just said. Just forget it; go…back to your family. Leave me, leave Japan. Onegai, Syaoran."
Syaoran was stunned; she loved him? His heart nearly stopped; he was brought back to attention as he felt Sakura grab his shirt. She was shaking uncontrollably. 'Onegai, Syaoran, forget what I said. Just forget it; go…back to your family. Leave me, leave Japan. Onegai, Syaoran.' What was she saying? How could he leave her? Especially like this. "Sakura…" She barely moved, her eyes still looking downward, her hands with a death grip on his shirt. He couldn't endure the torture of seeing her in this despair; he brought his hands to her shoulders, gently pushing her away from him. He looked at her tenderly. "Sakura…please look at me. Onegai." Slowly, Sakura lifted her head to face him, desolate green eyes glassy with unshed tears. He winced at her pain. "Sakura…I'm pretty sure you already know, but I…I love you." He silenced her with a pleading look as she tried to speak. "I made myself a promise; in fact, I promised someone else too. I said I would stay by your side always. You know how stubborn I can be, ne?" She almost laughed a little, her eyes regaining some of their original luster. "I will never leave you; now I promise you that."
Sakura listened to his words, both loving and heart breaking. What if he had no choice but to leave her? "But…" She caught his eyes, a fierce determination in them; instantly, she knew she wouldn't be able to say anything to convince him. Instead she wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her face in the crook of his neck. "Can we stay like this for awhile?"
Syaoran responded by lifting her off the floor and carrying her over to the couch. "We can stay like this for awhile." He could feel her smile a bit, her soft lips moving ever so slightly against his neck. It was perfect; so perfect in fact, that both fell back into sleep, a scene almost like that of this morning.
_____________________________
9:00 AM
There was a harsh noise, a persistent buzzing. Both figures on the couch moved in response; the buzzing continued. Auburn hair moved slightly, "Syaoran, what is that noise?"
In response, one amber eye opened. "I don't know." A momentary silence settled upon the scene, long enough for both cardcaptors to breathe a sigh. The buzzing then came back, more insistent, one long noise "Matte, I know what it is. It's the doorbell." He swung his legs from the couch, careful not to disturb a lightly dozing card mistress. Stumbling down the hall, hair standing out at unnatural angles, legs lead weighted and head still swimming with confusion, he flung open the door. "Who is it?" He felt a strong gust of wind as a blur moved quickly by him.
"Sakura? Sakura?" Tomoyo proceeded straight for the living room. When she noticed Sakura's sleeping form, she turned, worriedly, to Syaoran. "She's still asleep?"
He half grinned as he remembered what transpired that morning. "Not quite; she woke up for a bit this morning, but fell asleep again."
"Is anything the matter? How is she?" Tomoyo couldn't stop her concern; she had gotten little or no sleep the night before, laying on her bed in the dark waiting for it to be an appropriate time to go straight to Li's apartment.
"I assure you, she's as alright as she can be…considering." Both faces darkened and looked at the card mistress, her hands tucked neatly underneath her head, body rising and falling with shallow breaths. She looked almost peaceful, seemingly happy, but they knew how devastated she was inside.
Tomoyo blinked back tears, "We have to make her feel better; I know it's selfish, but I can't stand to see her like this."
"I know what you mean; I could barely live with myself when she was crying for hours yesterday. But I think I found a way to cheer her up a little."
"How?"
"I called Meiling last night; she said she'd meet us at the park this morning. I thought she'd need everyone she loves around her."
"Good idea. Meiling will definitely help her feel better; I hope anyway. It can't get worse than this, right?" Syaoran merely nodded, hoping that was the case. A thought struck Tomoyo, "What time did she say we were going to meet her?"
Syaoran looked sheepish, hand moving unconsciously to the back of his head. "I was too busy with Sakura…I didn't ask."
Tomoyo countered with a small frown an sighed, "I guess I'll call the airlines and see what flights they have coming this morning." She took out her cell phone and quickly dialed the operator.
As Tomoyo talked with the airlines, Syaoran's gaze fixed on the card mistress, her form laying gracefully, bathed in mid-morning sunlight. He moved deftly to her side, his hands embedding themselves in her silky hair; he stared in wonder at how much strength was in this vulnerable looking creature.
He jerked involuntarily as Tomoyo suddenly appeared at his side. "So, you've finally told her, ne?"
He nodded slightly, still entranced by Sakura's presence. "She told me too; she actually wanted me to go back to Hong Kong."
"Doshite?" Tomoyo knit her brow, silently questioning why Sakura would ask such a thing; it was obvious she loved him. There must be a reason.
"Because she was afraid I'd be hurt." Tomoyo merely nodded, forgetting he couldn't see her as he was still watching the card mistress. "I told her I'd never leave her. Demo…I can't help feeling that promise is going to be a hard one to keep, especially if these Clow cards keep getting more and more vicious. I'll have to leave her if it means her life."
Tomoyo absorbed all this without surprise. She'd known them both for so long; Sakura was always putting others before herself, even if it caused her pain. And Li…he was more loyal than anyone she knew, particularly to Sakura. He'd never let her be hurt willingly, but his words were true as much as she hated to think about it. If it came down to Sakura's life, he'd willingly die, and if he died, Sakura would never forgive herself. There just didn't seem like there was a solution; she sighed heavily. "It's just not right; both of you deserve happiness. I just wish the cards were never set loose."
Syaoran thought wistfully for a moment before answering. "But then I'd never have met her. My life would still be incomplete even if I didn't know it." He brushed his fingers along Sakura's brow, feeling the softness and pleasant warmth of her skin.
"You should tell her that; that'd probably make her smile a bit. And…" a calculating look crossed her face. Syaoran felt the hair on his neck stand straight up; there was something very familiar in her tone. He turned slowly, unwittingly caught in Tomoyo's trap; to his horror, he faced not a human being but a blinking red light. "And I'm going to catch it on tape."
He groaned in frustration; this seemed neither the place nor the time. "By Kami-sama, why did you bring that with you?"
"I came by here last night to see if Sakura was alright, demo she was…well, tied up at the moment," Tomoyo explained, her unblinking camera fastened squarely on the reddening Li. "So I went home, dusted off my little friend here and thought maybe today might be more like the good old days."
Syaoran shook his head disbelievingly, but if it was for Sakura's sake, he'd put up with Tomoyo's fancy for a while. If however, that camera made Sakura unhappy in any way, he'd smash it to bits without hesitation. "So what time is Meiling getting in?"
Tomoyo frowned slightly. "There's three fights in from Hong Kong this morning; the earliest one gets here at ten. I'm guessing she'll be on that one. That leaves us about an hour to get her ready." Tomoyo leaned closer to the sleeping card mistress, watching her from over Syaoran's back; she smiled genuinely. "Aren't we the ever faithful dog; always by her side." He merely gave her a half-glare before turning his attention back to Sakura. Tomoyo moved closer to wake Sakura up, her hand held inches away from Sakura's shoulder.
"What do you think you're doing?" growled Syaoran.
"And protective too, ne? I'm just waking Sakura up; she needs to get ready and I'm going to help her look so kawaii." Stars encompassed her eyes, as Syaoran moved quickly between the entranced girl and Sakura.
"No. You're not; she'll wake up when she wants to." He stood his ground defiantly ignoring the pout Tomoyo threw at him.
"Fine." She threw up her hands in defeat. "But, the least you could do is prepare some breakfast. I'm sure she'll be hungry after such a tiring day."
"Only if you promise to let her be." Tomoyo nodded emphatically, a gesture he didn't entirely trust. Making his way over to the kitchen, he cast a wary glance back to an innocent-looking Tomoyo. "Don't even dare, Daidouji."
Tomoyo looked genuinely hurt as he disappeared into the kitchen. She settled herself comfortably on the floor next to Sakura's head. "At least I'll get some adorable shots of you sleeping." She sighed dreamily while pointing her video camera straight at the card mistress.
____________________________
9:30 AM
Sakura felt sleep leaving her, her mind slowly becoming aware of everything around her. The faint smell of food was in the air, the sounds of something sizzling and a soft whir, somehow very familiar. She lifted open her eyes, dark jade clouded over by remnants of sleep; they barely made out the shape of the ceiling and something hazy inches from her face. The picture began to focus; a round portal of black faced her, a red light blinking ferociously. "Aaaaaahhhh!"
The sound of utensils clanged on the floor as Syaoran rushed to the couch. "Sakura? What is it? What's wrong?"
Sakura talked through her hands which were firmly placed over her face. "I-I was just startled by some black thing." She let her fingers spread apart slowly let her eye underneath see what had frightened her so badly. "T-Tomoyo? What are you doing here? Why do you have the camera?"
Syaoran glared fiercely at the violet-eyed girl. "Daidouji, I warned you about disturbing her!"
Tomoyo reeled back, slowly processing what had just happened. "I…I didn't touch her, I swear. She just woke up. Gomen nasai, Sakura; I just had to tape you; you were so kawaii." Sakura stared at her with a confused face. Tomoyo quickly shut off the camera and returned it to her bag. "Gomen, Sakura. How are you this morning; are you okay? Feeling better?"
Sakura looked blankly at Tomoyo's worried face. "U-Un." She was half lying; she wasn't okay, or anywhere near being okay, but she was better than yesterday. The sharp pain in her heart had dulled down to a muted ache, having finally been tempered with Syaoran's words. Noticing both pairs of worried eyes, she tried to allay their fears. "So…what's that wonderful smell? I'm starved." She carefully got up, putting her arms out and stretching; plodding over to the dining room, she looked back at her friends. "Aren't you coming, Tomoyo? Syaoran?"
Tomoyo smiled thankfully; Sakura seemed much better. "Right behind you, Sakura." Turning back to Syaoran, she whispered, "Go on; make her smile. I won't tape it; I promise." She winked.
He stared back, a bit red faced, highly doubtful that damned recording device wouldn't be seen at breakfast. But she was right; he strode quickly to the dining room, seeing how natural it was to have Sakura sitting at his dining table. He quietly approached as she had half a pancake hanging out of her mouth, and hugged her from behind, his arms sliding around her slender waist. He heard a muffled protest as she tried to swallow her food. "Is my cooking that bad?"
______________________________
Sakura's eyes widened in surprise as she felt something unknown yet comfortable encircle her body; her gasp nearly choked her, a pancake going down the wrong pipe. Forcing the food down, and taking four gulps of orange juice, she faced her attacker. "Mou, Syaoran! You could have at least warned me!" Momentarily, the anguish in her chest subsided as she looked into Syaoran's eyes, amused amber that only held love for her. She smiled sincerely, the shadow of grief pushed out of her consciousness.
Syaoran smiled inwardly, a half grin appearing on his lips on the outside. Her smile had returned; her face a flashback to that genki girl he loved. "And where would the fun be if I warned you?"
"Mou!" She felt something rise in her throat, something half forgotten these months. It exploded without warning, her whole body settling into the familiar feeling. She laughed, her giggles coming in loud breaths, body quivering with uncontainable emotion.
Both Tomoyo and Syaoran stared at the laughing card mistress, her outburst had come so suddenly. But both soon joined in, affected by the infectious nature of Sakura's laugh, even Syaoran lightly chuckled. She turned to him, her face bright and loving; he was unable to fight it. He beamed, feeling his mouth curve irrevocably upward, his chuckle becoming a full a laugh.
________________________________
Sakura was stunned watching him give in to the spontaneous joy of the moment, a wide smile on his face; it was his first real smile, not a half-grin or smirk, but a smile. "Sit down and eat." She grabbed his arm and pulled him to a seat right next to her; she leaned on his arm, lost in the throes of happiness that she knew would soon be replaced. She desperately held on, letting the feeling warm her insides, the image of Syaoran's smile and laughter filling her vision. Though all of this anguish, he had smiled; she felt the glimmer of hope spark. She could almost feel her soul mending its scars; she made up her mind to bury the past. Touya was dead; she would grieve for him and cherish her memories, but she would throw off the guilt as hard as it seemed. She would find the Sleep, restore her father, and seal the rest of the cards. Then she could live her life, Syaoran at her side, her loved ones safe from the clutches of magic. She opened her eyes to find her herself staring a tearful Tomoyo. "What wrong, Tomoyo?"
Moisture tainted Tomoyo's vision, as she continued to smile. "I'm just glad that you're okay. I was so afraid you'd never be better."
Sakura was touched, blessed for the friends she had. She got up from table, giving Syaoran an apologetic look for leaving his side; he merely nodded. She made her way to Tomoyo, and enveloped her in a hug. "Arigatou, for worrying."
Tomoyo let a tear trace its ways down her pale skin. "Are you really alright?"
Sakura nodded, the darkness that shrouded her, disappearing. "I will be." That was a full truth.
___________________________
10:30 AM
Sakura was curious; she walking through the park without a clue. "What surprise? What is it?"
Tomoyo gave exchanged a knowing look with Syaoran. "You mean, who is it?"
"It's a person?" Who could it be? Sakura twisted her face up in concentration. She noticed her hand squeezed tighter and looked towards Syaoran. She blushed a light pink as he focused his smile at her. "Nani?"
He pulled her close to him, brushing his lips across her cheek as he murmured into her ear. "You're feeling better. Yokata." He felt her tremble under his touch, her face taking on a crimson hue. She stopping and draped her arms around his body; jade eyes shining with happiness turned up at him, he nearly choked, breath catching in his throat. Her eyes had always seemed special, magical; no one else had that color as if that pure green was only reserved for the most innocent of souls. They certainly found a worthy possessor. He placed his chin on her head, arms wrapped tightly around her slender form. He breathed in the scent of flowers, a sweet intoxication. He felt her suddenly turn rigid, however, a soft whirring sound in the air. 'She wouldn't.' He released Sakura and turned towards the sound. 'She did.' He groaned in frustration at Tomoyo taping them, an insanely happy grin plastered on her face. "Daidouji! You promised!"
She held up her left index finger. "I promised for breakfast, and I kept it. But now…I have free reign, and…it was just too kawaii to pass up."
Sakura stood with an excruciatingly adorable confused look on her face. 'Promise? What promise?' Just then a sound issued from behind her, more like piercing screech.
"Kinomoto!" The people in the park cringed wondering how someone could be that loud without a megaphone.
To Sakura, however, the voice held a sense of warmth. She turned around with anticipation. "Meiling?" She blinked her eyes in disbelief; there stood a raven-haired girl, a suitcase at her feet. Sakura was running, unconscious to her actions. "Meiling!" She threw herself into a hug with a slightly stunned Chinese girl. "You're here!"
Meiling smiled, seeing Sakura better off than she thought. "Yup. Just got in." He voice lowered somewhat, placing her hands on the card mistress' shoulders. "How are you?"
Sakura understood, grateful for the love that surrounded her life. "I'm doing better. It'll take a while, but I'm sure I will be fine."
"I wouldn't expect anything less from the card mistress." She pulled out of Sakura's hug and looked at her intently. "I got up at 4 in the morning today and flew four hours to Japan; all for you. You will enjoy yourself today."
Sakura merely nodded. "Arigatou, Meiling."
"It's nothing." Her eyes were unwavering; she had a goal to accomplish. She would personally make sure Sakura felt better. "First, I will drop off my stuff at Syaoran's place. Then I say we go shopping! I need a new wardrobe and I intend to return home with a lot of bags. Third, we will catch up on what's happened since I left, and no getting out of it either, Kinomoto. You will tell me every little detail." Meiling quirked her eyebrow slightly at the Sakura who responded with a light blush, knowing exactly what she was referring to. How she knew escaped the card mistress. "Okay, let's go!" Like an army sergeant, Meiling marched the group out of the park and down the street, all the while talking about her life in Hong Kong the past year.
The small smile that adorned Sakura's lips as she listened to Meiling's chatter did not escape her three friends who inwardly knew for certain she would be fine. The day was turning out to be better than they had hoped for.