Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who gave me suggestions. I made it semi-short. Not like a 5 page remembrance, but it's a couple of pages long. I think I got the most important stuff in it. Some special thanks to pokey for reading nearly all of my stories; I am so grateful.
Also smabbi-chan arigatou; you have no idea how happy your reviews make me.
Especially a great big thanks with a genki smile to Floralmoon; I can't believe you consider this the best story you ever read; I'm shocked but so, so honored. Just because of that review, I have forced myself past that horrible writer's block. Thank you *bows humbly*.
To Eagle_33: hmmm…I think I like the nickname 'syrup.'
And all gratitude to Nate0130, Liz, Delita Mukara Bl'Ferno and Clow key. Your reviews keep me warm and comfortable in this pseudo winter.
Disclaimer: I had a wonderful dream I owned CCS, but then I woke up and found I was still a poor college student. So very sad…
When Everything Else is GoneChapter 8: Resurfacing
The steady beeping filled the silence between the four teenagers sitting rigidly in the room, an uncomfortable stillness in the room. Between each high pitched beep, sounded the ticking of the all clock, hour hand past two. Sakura held her father's hands tightly in her own, trying to push away the deceptive hope that his eyes would suddenly open. She stared in silence watching her father's fixed face, pale and thin, his chest rising shallowly with each strained breath. The yellow clear IV fed into his veins a bag of nutrients his only thing keeping him from death. He couldn't continue this way; everyone knew it.
Tomoyo had found her usual seat, on Fujitaka's right side, her hands knit together in a nervous knot. The only father figure she had ever known was before her, trapped in the limbo between life and death, an unwaking dream world.
Meiling sat uncertainly at the foot of the bed, this man she had never met was so close to losing his life. Even in his inanimate state, she could tell the kindness this man had in his heart and how cruel destiny was that he should suffer. Syaoran had written her about his condition, but she couldn't imagine that it was anything like this, the sorrow thick in the room, nearly oppressive. She silently wondered how this all happened.
For his part, Syaoran was standing behind Sakura, his hands rubbing her shoulders. Sakura relaxed under his pressure, but remained rigid in her seat. He looked about the room, flowers freshly brought this morning, curtains drawn and the light sun streaming. He hadn't visited this room for months, it was too painful to see this once alive man reduced to so little, but Sakura was set on coming.
She spoke quietly under her breath, her voice sounding intensely loud in the governing silence. "Gomen Otou-san, it's been too long since I've visited you; over a week. I was busy with everything including Clow cards. I promise you, I will seal Sleep, and you'll be fine. Even if I have to use all of my strength. I don't want to lose you too." Sakura entwined her fingers with her father's gratefully feeling the warmth of his hand.
"How…how did this happen Sakura?" Meiling couldn't hold eye contact ashamed of her curiosity and afraid of Sakura's reaction.
Syaoran felt Sakura tremble slightly; Sakura had never told anyone the story, but he didn't want her to share if she couldn't. He gave Meiling a pleading look.
Tomoyo seemed to follow the same path of thought. "Meiling; I think we should leave Sakura alone; if she doesn't want to tell us, let's respect her decision."
"No." The whisper barely left Sakura's lips as she straightened herself, wiping away some stray tears. "It's alright, Tomoyo. I think it's time to tell everyone what happened. I don't want to keep this inside any longer." She took a deep steadying breath, placing her hands on her shoulders over Syaoran's. She talked silently at first watching her father, trembling as if remembering a nightmare, but became calmer and speaking louder as she felt more of her burden dissipate with her words.
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It was late January; I remember because of the heavy snows. Otou-san was working late again preparing to leave on a trip for an excavation site in Central America, the Mayan ruins or something like that. He was really excited to lead a group of college students on a dig. As I watched the snow pile up on the sidewalk, I thought it would be fun to surprise him with dinner so he wouldn't have to trudge outdoors for food.
I remember I had felt uneasy all night like something was going to happen, but I didn't think it would be anything this horrible. I kept feeling magic near me, but faraway too, like seeing something at the edge of my sight. I shrugged it off leaving the house with his dinner tucked under my arm, waiting for the bus to come. Number 12 to Tokyo University, fifth stop, arriving at 8:50. I still remember it…
Getting off the bus, I found myself a block away from the University; the sun had already set and it was dark. I crunched happily over the icy snow, a sheen covering the ground as if the ice were a mirror. I walked on, my hands warmed by the food I had with me. I was happy then, twirling in the twilight making my way to Otou-san's office. I was passing by an alley when I noticed a little glow streak by me, but I thought it was just something normal like a firefly or maybe my eyes were playing tricks on me. What a fool, ne?
It was after nine by the time I reached the gate; the security guard was asleep, slumped in his chair. That should have told me something, but I just too stupid to put it all together. I just smiled and skipped to Otou-san's building, last building on the right, his office last door in the left of the fourth floor. I ran into his assistant Yuomo at the entrance. I liked her; she always talked to me when Otou-san was busy with a class or a student. One time she took me out for ice cream after I failed a math test, double scoop of chocolate with whipped cream and cherry on top. She was nice.
She looked at the package in my hands. "What's in there?"
"A surprise for Otou-san: fried shrimp, some maki sushi and tea." I smiled proudly knowing I had spent the whole afternoon making it. I had the burns and cuts to prove it too.
"Sugoi. Sounds delicious; I'm sure he'll really appreciate it." I noticed something wrong here; Yuomo was leaning forward, her body becoming a little unsteady. I rushed to her and let her lean on me; the magic overtook my senses.
"Yuomo! Daijobu desu ka?" I couldn't understand why she passed out, but I felt my eyelids start to close too. I barely dragged myself and Yuomo into the building before a streak of blue glimmered past me. It flew down the hallway, a trail of light glittering dust hanging in the air. It was definitely a Clow card. I looked around me; thank Kami-sama there wasn't anyone around. I left Yuomo sleeping on the ground as I chased the card down the halls, its blue snow blanketing the ground.
Every now and then I'd pass a college student or professor asleep on the floor, the cerulean powder spread thick on their clothes, in their hair, balanced precariously on eyelashes, in the creases of aged skin. I ran and kept running, my lungs burning, begging for rest, but I couldn't stop until I sealed the card; Otousan's office was at the end of the hall. I pressed my legs to go faster, the aura becoming clearer and clearer as I flew through the building. "Otou-san!" All I heard was silence, deadly stillness, the shallow breaths of those I passed. I released my wand as I reached his door; bursting through, I was greeted by the flurry of pages, a blizzard of blue magic, Otou-san hunched over unconscious on his laptop. "Windy! Bind this Clow card!" A ribbon of wind reached out to the firefly card; Sleep easily evaded Windy's grasp. I focused my magic to stop myself from falling asleep, as the card darted from the office into the hallway. I don't know how long I was next to Otou-san shaking him, hoping he would wake. Something in me told me that if I wanted save him, I would have to seal Sleep. I ran again, chasing the card for so long, down corridors, stumbling over people, forcing myself up and down the stairwells. I wanted to give up so badly, my body screaming in soreness, but I kept after it until I found myself on the sixth floor.
It was cornered or so I thought, at the corner of a window office on the top floor. I raised the wand, magic streaming from its tip. "Return to the form you were meant to be in. Clow card!" Magical binds tried to catch the card, but it threw itself through the glass, escaping into the darkness of night. I didn't think, my legs taking me to the window, my arms before me for protection as I followed it into the air. The sound of shattering glass sounded surrounded me, the smooth, sharp pieces finding a home in my skin. Sleep circled around me in triumph as I plunged downward; I was barely able to call Float before I crashed to the ground. I floated down, laying down on the unforgiving cement. My legs wouldn't listen to me, my body exhausted; Sleep merely flew around me a few times as if it was gloating and darted into the unknown. All I could do was reach out my hands in its direction pleading helplessly, fingers extending toward the encompassing darkness. "Onegai, return!" No answer, hard snow rose up to blind me; I was alone with the desolate wind.
Everything went so fast after that; I was cold, there were ambulance sirens somewhere near me, then I warm again. Otou-san was laying in the hospital just like this, the doctors telling me something that I couldn't understand. I cried for so long afterward, I don't know how long. It seemed like forever; he would not wake up. I was even worse every time me or Oni-chan visited; I would see the families of the students and other teachers. Even Yuomo's parents. Yuomo…
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"Yuomo's parents took her back home to Kyoto; I don't know how she is if she's even alive anymore. Kami-sama knows how many people died because of me." Sakura's voice cracked, guilt ridden.
"It's not your fault Sakura; the Clow card did this." Syaoran pulled her figure close to him, taking her hands into his. Tomoyo and Meiling were kneeling beside the card mistress trying to soothe her sobs. But the room remained in the midst of beeps and stifled sobs.
"But it was me. I was too slow…too stupid…too weak." Sakura remained lost in her own pain, enveloped by the resurfacing memories. She almost missed the quiet, familiar voice from across the room, barely audible.
"It's…not your fault Sakura."
The card mistress jerked her head up to meet the sorrowful gaze of golden eyes. "Yukito?"
Yukito turned his gaze to the ground and his body away. "I was going to visit Fujitaka today, but I think I'll come back later." He walked out of the doorway, his form already receding into the busy hospital corridors.
"Matte, Yukito!" Sakura was on her feet already crossing the room. Halfway out of the door; she looked back into the room a silent 'don't-follow-me-please' in her eyes.
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The grey haired man found a hand around his wrist, hearing a quiet sniffling from behind him. He talked not turning around, staring aimlessly ahead of him. "What is it, Sakura?"
Sakura stood uncertainly latched to Yukito's arm, tears already tracing their way down her cheek. "I…I just wanted to say I'm sorry; you were right, Touya would still be here if I had only been braver or stronger or…"
Yukito interrupted quickly, his voice for once without an angry edge. "It is not your fault Sakura. What I said was out of pain…I was just…wrapped up in my grief. I'm…sorry about the things I said. They were cruel and unfair."
Silence was exchanged between the two, Sakura stunned, trying to understand what had just been said. "A-Are you forgiving me?"
"Touya chose to run; you couldn't have stopped him or that…thing. But understand Sakura, it still hurts. Until I can learn to deal with this pain, I can't forgive you." He tried to smile lightly warding off Sakura's anguished expression. "Demo…Li said some things that made me think about how I was treating you. I don't want to be a person ruled by hate; onegai give me time." Yukito broke Sakura's grasp and walked through the sliding doors, turning back with a second thought. "You should be there."
"Doko?"
"Touya's funeral. I've already handled all the arrangements. It's next to your oka-san's grave; I know he would have liked that. It's in two days."
Sakura's tears flowed more freely at the thought of a final farewell. She forced herself to see the small glimmer of hope of Yukito's forgiveness. "H-Hai. I'll be there. Arigatou, Yukito."
"Un." He made his way into the street disappearing in the crowd, Sakura still standing as if lost at the hospital entrance.
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Syaoran, Meiling and Tomoyo stood watching Sakura talking to Yukito at the entrance. "What do you think she's going to say?"
"I really don't know; I hope he doesn't hurt her anymore. Last time, she came home a wreck; I don't think you'd want to see it Meiling."
"I tried to talk to him calmly, but if he does hurt her, he doesn't deserve her love. I swear I'll…" Syaoran trailed off Sakura turned back around, tears staining her cheeks, her legs bringing her closer to the group of friends. "Sakura." He felt arms encircling his neck; the sweet smell of flowers pressed close to his face. "Sakura?"
"Arigatou Syaoran." Her muffled answer sent everyone into confusion.
Finally registering Sakura's form leaning on him and stabilizing him with his hands to the middle of her back, Syaoran regained his thoughts. "Why are you thanking me?"
"For Yukito. Arigatou." Tomoyo and Meiling stared puzzled while Syaoran quietly nodded hugging the card mistress.
"What do you mean 'for Yukito'?" Tomoyo's question hung in the air unanswered as both cardcaptors dropped their arms from around each other, something recognizable as dread in both their eyes. "Doshtano?" but she already knew the what it was.
"Clow card." Both cardcaptors looked around them catching slight glimpses of an aura, dancing around the edges of their minds every now and then, becoming apparent and then fading into nothingness. Sakura moved first, finding the source in the stairwell; Syaoran ran behind her leaving Meiling and Tomoyo standing rooted in the doorway to Fujitaka's room.
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Sakura flung open the door, an endless trail of stairs laying above and below her; a maze of folded metal, the air viscous with a dank mold, a flickering light bulb providing sporadic light and dark. Out of the edge of her view, she caught familiar blue specks floating daintily to the ground. She knelt down at the stair, gently wiping her finger across the azure film, bringing it close to her face and immediately feeling her eyes struggling to stay awake. She wiped the dust off her hands, turning to face a concerned Syaoran. "It's Sleep!"
Key which hides the power of darknessReveal thy true form
I Sakura, command you under contract
Release
The Clow circle appeared from underneath the card mistress' feet, a wind blowing the dust and a light trace of Sleep's iridescent cobalt powder around her. "Fly." Both cardcaptors boarded the winged wand, shooting up the stairwell, veering sharp right turns after every flight, the aura of the Clow card appearing more frequently in their magical senses. Floors passed quickly, the doors nothing but blurred squares; ninth floor, tenth floor, eleventh floor, twelfth floor… They alighted at the door to the seventeenth floor, the magic beyond the door. Bursting through the door, they were met with a deadly silence intermittent with the sounds of machines: the intensive care unit.
Sleep hovered uncertainly under a fluorescent light, sapphire magic radiating from its skin, trying to decide which way to go, surrounded by already unconscious people. It noticed Sakura and Syaoran standing menacingly down the hall staff and sword drawn. It stared meaningfully at Sakura a bridge of understanding passing between them.
"Stop Clow card!" Sakura's command was to no avail as Sleep had already passed through an open window into the afternoon bustle of Tomoeda. "Fly!" Both cardcaptors hurtled into the open window, the breezy wind strong, darting above the city at a dizzying height, on the tail of the fugitive card. The ball of light, life giver, the sun, paused ever so slightly on the horizon before its bottom disappeared beneath the trees and cityscape. Sakura pushed Fly faster, her heart already beating frantically, determination on her face.
Syaoran could feel Sakura's resolve, her body tightening in his grasp; he closed his eyes, picking out the card's aura from the chaos of sensations from the city below. "Sakura, it's heading to the school."
"Hai." They blew by the crisp afternoon air, landing quickly on the roof of the school. The voices of the various sports teams and clubs echoed from the building; somewhere in there was the Clow card. Panic gripped Sakura again as recognizable voices arose from the multitude of sounds; Chiharu and Yamakazi.
"Time." Sakura turned around to see Syaoran strike the Time card, the powerful flow of magic spreading through the school, all voices ceasing, shadows stationary, aura's fixed.
"Syaoran?"
"Seal the card, Sakura." Syaoran was on one knee, feeling his energy being slowly drained away, struggling to stand, but feeling his legs becoming rubbery. "I don't think I can keep time stopped much longer."
"Right." Sakura turned a last look at a straining Syaoran as she ran through the door. Blackness permeated the hallways, disturbed by the footsteps of the card mistress, deafening till the point where she couldn't stand it anymore. "Fly!" Atop the winged staff she plunged after the Clow card somewhere on her right toward the cafeteria. Lunging through the parted doorway, she hovered amidst a scene of frozen activity; Chiharu, Naoko, Rika, Yamakazi and all those friends long since forsaken chatting merrily, grins touching all their lips. Time was flickering, the frozen figures moving slightly inch by inch as if just woken from ice. Sleep paused in its flight, preparing to shed its deadly rain, its small aura becoming all encompassing. "Jump!" Sakura leapt up to the Sleep's height bringing up the wand to seal the card, but paused as she noticed Time's fading, the movements of the people around her transitioning from jerky twitches to smooth movements. Sleep took advantage of her distraction to escape through an open window; Sakura barely had time to recall Jump and change her wand back to key chain before Time's power failed completely.
"Sakura? What are you doing here?" Sakura was kneeling in the middle of a table, ignoring Chiharu's question.
If Time failed, then… "Syaoran!" She sprinted out of the cafeteria leaving a group of confused teenagers. She reached the entrance to the roof, flinging open the door afraid of what lay behind it. Syaoran was panting hard, no longer on his knees, but sitting back, leaning on the side of a wall, his head hanging low, sword dropped at his side, apparently exhausted. "Syaoran, how are you?"
He opened one eye, his breath coming in pants trying to put words to his breaths. "I'll…be…fine; just…need…rest. Did…you catch…sleep?"
Sakura shook her head, her eyes darting between Syaoran and the park in the distance. "It got away when Time failed."
"Gomen; I tried….to keep it up…as long as I could."
Sakura laid a gentle hand on his cheek, a smile on her face. "Never be sorry; you tried your best. That's why I love you. Rest now." Her face lost its tenderness once again overtaken by seriousness. "I have to find Sleep again."
He barely nodded; she wouldn't stop for her father's sake, and he'd never want her to; that wouldn't be Sakura. "I…understand. Onegai, be careful."
"Always." With that she placed a light kiss on his forehead standing up releasing her wand. "I'll be right back. Fly!"
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The dark woods radiated with a portentous atmosphere, clawed shadows reaching across the leaf littered ground, the half set sun peeking between thick dead wood branches. Upturned roots broke the ground, darkness seemed to seep from the ground, the red intensity of sunset changing into a dark purple of twilight. Sakura was flying between the massive oaks, avoiding branches and vines while scanning the area for Sleep.
The card mistress stopped in a clearing, enclosed by immovable trees, the sun already dipped below the horizon. She scrutinized her surroundings for the unsealed card, finally finding it hiding on a thick branch. Sakura could almost swear the card smirked as it took off deeper into the forest.
"Windy." The winds struggled to avoid the trees chasing the agile Sleep as it darted from tree to tree. Sakura ran with Windy, desperation setting in as she felt Sleep's aura gradually disappearing from her senses until it disappeared completely, leaving an apologetic Windy hovering near a devastated card mistress.
"No…" Sakura banged her fist against the ground, tears already stinging her eyes. A comforting hand touched her shoulder; she instinctually knew who it was. "Syaoran…I lost it again."
"Don't cry. We'll find it, and seal it."
"When? When? I can't keep doing this. I get so close but it slips through my fingers."
Syaoran didn't like to see Sakura this way, defeated and without hope. It seemed to be unnatural, something that should not be a part of Sakura's nature. "Next time, Sakura."
Sakura tears had faded back into her eyes, her voice the only betrayal of her pain. "You know he can't hold much longer. The doctors say there's still hope, but I know they think he'll…die soon."
"I…know." He could only put her arms around her and stand her up. "But we'll keep trying right?"
Sakura tilted her head onto his shoulder standing side by side staring ahead to the darkening sky. She focused on a bright star that seemed to be twinkling just for her. "Hai."
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Author's Notes: That wasn't too bad was it? Tell me! I'm getting behind in my writing schedule, but I'm going to keep typing and hope I can put a chapter out every week or so, but finals are next week, and it's all just hell studying. Will the torture never end?