Author's Note: Gomen nasai for taking so long, nearly two weeks, but finals are done! Yatta! Okay it's winter vacation time everyone, big collective sigh or relief. In order to make up for being really late in this chapter, I decided to add a rather nice S+S moment. It was about time too, Chapter 9? Way too long. So I don't know how to spell Syaoran's chants when he summons the elements. I wrote them out as they sound; maybe someone has a dictionary or knows and can tell me? Anyway I want to say thanks for the reviews from Delita Mukara Bl'Ferno; it means a lot that you've stayed with this fic. Also to Red Rose: I'm very grateful for all the reviews that you gave me in all my other fics too; it's very wonderful of you to do that. Also to Jurei: please update the next part of 'The Tournament' soon. To Silex: don't apologize; that's the kind of review I love, passionate and funny. A definite thanks to Evil Karyta: that was a really nice review; I love 'The Taste of Your Life,' the bloodiness of the last chapter single handedly got me through finals. It's on my favorite stories list too. To Pokey: you've read most of my other fics too, and I have to say Arigatou for that; I'm glad people like AU. And last but not least to FloralMoon: thanks for the constant encouragement and have a really Happy Birthday!
Disclaimer: I had a wonderful dream I owned CCS, but then I woke up and found I was still a poor college student. So very sad…
When Everything Else is GoneChapter 9: Final Farewell
The sun was brilliant, a gleaming ball of light; the sky parted, a clear blue arching across the ceiling of the world, not a cloud in sight. The brisk cold winter wind blew around like a fresh breath, whipping about, lifting loose clothing into the air, flapping overcoats, dresses, hair. It seemed the possibilities were endless, the hope tangible in the air, as if the earth could open and sprout a rainbow.
But to five figures, the wind was nothing less than desolate and biting, the sun unbearably bright, the blue of the sky mocking. Heads bent, they stared at the mound at their feet, the freshly upturned soil black, the clean chipped headstone placed upright. Silence hung in the air, the absence of birds, all mourners thin lipped and quiet. The lugubrious white lilies draped the border of the grave, a curtain of fragrant white immersed in the damn earth. The other mourners' footprints lost in the sea of snow and exposed brown grass. The five still remaining stood still as statues, monuments, memorials. The wind echoed each kind word said, each regretful phrase, every loving memory.
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"He was incredibly kind, perhaps a little overprotective sometimes, but that was because he wanted to keep someone he loved safe. It was almost impossible for me to believe the joy that I've had with him. And yet…" Yukito turned teary, baleful golden eyes to look at Sakura. "Yet…I don't regret my life with him; perhaps it was unnatural for me to have that much happiness." Bitterness was interlaced with his words, his expression slightly angry, which immediately disappeared into a more or less serene expression. "But he was happy; he told me once that if were to die, he'd have no regrets. I believe that; I have to. In return, I will also promise to have no regrets for my life. And that includes forgiving others." He gave a meaningful glance at Sakura, his face twisted in a remorseful look. She returned his gaze with a small tearful smile; he bowed his head, eyes misted over. He stood away from the center, bringing a gentle hand to Sakura's arms to pull her. "I think Sakura would like to say something for Touya's memory."
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Sakura stood before a sea of expectant faces. What would she say? What could she say? How could she get everyone to know how much she loved Touya and how much she hurts when she thinks about him. "I…" Her voice faded into the whistling wind as she fought for words, random, meaningless, combinations of letters. "Oni-chan…" The word burned her tongue, the pain lancing her heart. The mourners looked at her with sympathy, their faces distorted and blurry through the tears in Sakura's eyes.
She found four supportive looks to her right, the trembling in her voice steadying. "Oni-chan was…he was indescribable; I don't think I can tell you how much he meant to me, all the times he took care of me when I was sick, how he made sure I was safe, how he…I can't explain it. He didn't deserve to die this young; he was supposed to have a long and wonderful life. He would have too; he found his love, and they were the most content people I knew. I know he loved Yukito more than anyone, and the times they had together can never be replaced." She sniffled when she took at sideways glance at Yukito, tears streaming down his cheeks. "But he's with Okaa-san and both of them are looking down on us smiling, I know it."
Sakura hastily rubbed away the moisture from under her eyes, watching the sea of doleful faces. This should be a time of remembrance not regret. "But I think the best memory I have of him will always be when he was Cinderella in his school play." She laughed a little hearing chuckles from the crowd too. "I think he pulled off that dress very well, even if he wouldn't agree." She smiled a little, the pleasant memories of Touya flashing through her mind. "I'm not going to keep talking; I'm sure all of you know that Oni-chan touched your lives as well; I think he'd like us to remember the good times and live our lives to the fullest." She bit her bottom lip, an 'even if he didn't get to' spilling inaudibly from her mouth. "So thank you for coming; I really appreciate all the sympathy and love as I'm sure Yukito does as well. The gray haired man nodded briefly, as the rest of the mourners approached the grave and bid final farewells.
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Sakura kneeled down at the grave, placing a gloved hand on the loose soil, a thin river of tears forming under her face. She felt Syaoran's aura behind her, a comforting sensation brushing itself against her agitated nerves. And yet in the midst of his presence, she was uneasy, something gathering itself, poised just beyond her magical reach, as if it was watching her. Distractedly, she waved the growing anxiety aside, probably nothing. Instead she rubbed a petal of one of the pure lilies wreathing the grave, her other hand remaining over the loose soil as if she could feel Touya's life below her. "Oni-chan…" The wind swept a light dusting of snow over the grave, a somber stillness between the five.
As Sakura kept her hand on the grave, she noticed her hands becoming cold, the wind biting her flesh through her gloves.. Looking down at the thick fabric, there were holes forming, gaining in diameter, widening without reason. She registered a slight burning sensation in her lungs which she had mistaken for the icy wind. The faint odor of vinegar was about her, something acidic and sour in her mouth. There was definitely something wrong, the air around her becoming thicker, the cold sharpness on her skin as the threads of her clothes became thinner and looser. There was something corrosive in the air, like acid, like…Mist. A tortured anger flared in her mind; how could this Clow card appear on this day, over Touya's grave?
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Syaoran instinctively reached for his pendant as he heard Sakura command her wand to release. The presence skirting his senses becoming more and more definite. He focused his eyes to where Sakura was facing; Touya's grave was emitting something, a vapor rising from the burial ground. It was impossible, would it really be as cruel that that, to appear on this day? "Sakura! It's Mist!"
Sakura merely nodded, Windy already clasped between her fingers. She was ready this time; as was Syaoran, an ofuda clenched in his hand. "Windy!" The spirit erupted from its card confines, arms outstretched to grapple with Mist. Instead of force meeting force, Windy merely hit nothingness, Mist having dissipated before Windy's every attack, the sealed card futilely trying to grasp something that was not solid.
"It's changed strategies." Syaoran swore under his breath as Mist remained elusive. Instead of being opaque, it was a faint green hue, seemingly dilute and harmless but intensely pungent, it's gaseous fingers concentrated enough to set lungs on fire. He changed ofudas trying to ignore the pain of breathing. "Kazi shorai!" Flames arched from his spell, cutting through Mist easily, a path of clear air that was quickly once again overrun by the toxic fumes. "Kuzo." The air crept around him, passively flooding over his body, his eyes stinging, skin itching, insides scalded. It felt useless to know that you'd eventually have to breathe, and each gulp of air meant your slow death. As blackness started to creep into his vision, the fiery pain in his lung started to lessen, an intense magical force appearing off to his right.
Sakura breathed hard, willing the extra air into her lungs, using her energy to sustain Shield. It would be nearly impossible to alone defend against Mist, feeling Shield's magic decrease every breeze bringing Mist against the barrier, but to do this for five people? Mist would soon overcome this, the vaporous fire once again seeping inside, the pain unbearable. It would not just be her death but Tomoyo's, Meiling's, Yukito's and Syaoran's. She couldn't allow this; she learned from her mistakes. She would have to act quickly and alone. "Mist! I challenge you; you and me. You know I'm the only one that can seal you. Leave everyone alone and face me!" Mist seemed to consider the offer, the light green gas backing away slightly from Shield's barrier. Seemingly decided, it drew a few feet away from all five persons, waiting for Sakura's end of the deal.
She looked concernedly to Yukito, Meiling and Tomoyo, who all were on their knees panting heavily. She locked glances with Syaoran, supported weakly on his sword; there would be no turning back. She raised her wand high, throwing a card into the air; with a last loving look to Syaoran she summoned, "Fly." She darted away alighting on a snow covered undisturbed field, a comfortable distance from Syaoran and the rest. She flung up another card as Syaoran ran towards her, confusion in his eyes. "Maze." Solid walls erupted from the ground, rising high into the air, sharp corners, dead ends, paths that lead in circles all appearing in the blink of an eye. She barely heard Syaoran calling to her before she found herself alone in the center with Mist. She narrowed her eyes, clutching the sealing wand tightly, her knuckles turning white. "Now it ends."
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Syaoran leaned heavily against his sword, fresh air in his lungs, his insides gulping in the cool, pure winter air. He was staring intently at Sakura; her mouth moving, issuing a challenge. Before he could act, Sakura had summoned Fly and was leading Mist farther away. He forced himself onto his feet, trying to catch up to her. 'What are you doing Sakura?' As he neared her, he suddenly found himself lost in Maze, the card blocking off his path, surrounded by rigid walls and blind turns. He caught a last look at Sakura, meeting her determined eyes before a wall formed obstructing his path. "What are you doing Sakura?" There was no answer. Every second meant life or death, his footsteps not nearly fast enough, always leading him to a cul-de sac or from where he started. "Sakura!"
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Sakura stood rigidly upright, yells of 'Sakura' echoing from all directions. She would not allow him to find her; there were no doorways to where she was now trapped with Mist. The unsealed card made the first move; spreading itself thinner and rising like the tides, at level with her shoulders and still expanding; she felt the familiar stinging in her throat with each breath. She coughed out, "Shield." The weakened card formed loyally around its mistress, a flickering magic fading rapidly under Mist's passive attacks. Despite how hard Sakura tried to force Shield to stay up, Mist's fingers found their way through, the caustic air wafting about her nose, her eyes watering, lips sealed shut.
With a dramatic flourish, Shield gave a final burst of magic pushing Mist back a few feet before disappearing back into card form. Sakura collapsed to her knees, talking huge amounts of untainted air, feeling blindly inside her coat randomly pulling out a card. "Please Kami-sama." She peered desperately at the extracted card as Mist menacingly inched closer. "Rain." Small clouds converged to form a large one above the battleground, drops of water falling steadily and increasing in frequency, soon the air saturated with the downpour. Sakura stood up quickly as Mist reached to pool around her knees; the rain pounded heavily on her clothes, the cold wind doing nothing to help her numbing senses.
Mist tried unsuccessfully to rise, the heavy rain preventing its growth. Sakura sighed in relief to feel her insides relaxing without the tortured pain of every breath. Unfortunately, Mist was still rampant, the dangerous gas circling her knees, eating away at her clothes, holes forming, exposing her legs to the corrosive environment, an unhealthy heat building along her flesh. Her mind registered the unnatural quality of her situation, freezing in the torrential rain and smoldering under Mist's touch. "Jump." Sakura leapt high into the air, landing on the one of the high walls of Maze, watching Mist swirl beneath her. Rain kept Mist at bay, but was also flooding the enclosed space, a small lake forming, slush ice floating on the magical sea. Mist resigned itself to settle, rising with the water level, creeping closer and closer to the card mistress. At this rate, Mist would climb high enough to escape over Maze's walls and spill into the corridors, to where Syaoran was. Sakura wracked her brain for something, anything to stop Mist. Its gaseous state was impossible to handle; how do you attack something that has no solid form? How do you fight against air? Mist had risen high enough to occasionally brush her heels. Sakura flipped through her deck, stopping at a card; it would take a lot of magic to do, but considering the consequences if Mist escaping again…
She hastily recalled Rain, Mist taking immediate advantage to try and expand. Quickly, she tossed the found card into the air, "Shadow. Cover this entire field." Shadow obeyed, a small black silhouette extending itself vaster and vaster, stretching like an elastic sheet, drawing on Sakura's energy. Eventually, Shadow enlarged to eclipse the battlefield, a black impenetrable veil descending over the scene, clamping down on each corner of Maze's wall. Sakura focused more of her power into Shadow, the dark barrier descending, trapping Mist between its murky skin and the small lake's surface. "Return to the form you were meant to be in, Clow card." Sakura's upheld wand quivered with her exhaustion, barely able to steady her arms and accept the confined card. Shadow floated towards its mistress, floating to her grasp just as her body shook from being pushed too far. Maze's power flickered, the walls crumbling and breaking off in large chunks, disintegrating into oblivion before the pieces reached the ground. The solid feel of support from underneath Sakura's feet wobbled, and then become nothing, but she couldn't move to save herself. He eyes closed, the feeling of falling enveloping her senses.
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Syaoran was frustrated, wandering around the maze without success of finding Sakura. Every turn seemed to lead back to where he started. As he turned a sharp corner, his eyes darted to a figure landing deftly on the Maze's wall. "Sakura!" She seemed not to hear as she continued to battle, summoning a card that he was too far away to distinguish. He raced down the corridor stopping before the entrance to a section of tunnel, pausing before its dark interior. If he entered, he'd loose sight of Sakura, but if he emerged from the other side, he'd be that much closer to her. Impulsively, he hurtled into the darkness, his footsteps loud in the tunnel, the light appearing farther and farther, every step taken separating himself from his destination. "Masaka." He looked back the entrance, also a far way off; he was trapped. Sakura had trapped him; why? "Raiden shorai!" He knew lightning wouldn't work, he'd tried it already, but he was running out of options. This time, though, the fingers of electricity burst through the passageway, green debris dissolving to the air. Looking around, he noted cracks were developing along the length of the tunnel, the arch destabilizing. He dove through the opening lightning made before the whole structure collapsed upon itself into a heap of magical ruins disintegrating in midair. Looking up from the ground, he noticed the similar state of the rest of the maze, the walls dangerously close to crumbling. He ran in the direction of Sakura's aura, one that seemed to be fading. He stopped to stare through a gap in Maze at the sight; Sakura poised on an unstable wall, a card floating towards her sagging figure. "Huga shorai!" As soon as the words left his mouth, the support under Sakura gave way, her body plunging to the ground. The wind cradled her limp form as it brought her to him, the sealing wand landing with a thump on the soft snow.
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"And Sakura is the card mistress?" One couldn't blame Yukito for looking as if the world had suddenly turned upside down.
"Hai, and she and Syaoran are capturing the Clow cards." Meiling eyed Syaoran who kept pacing back and forth before his bedroom door. "If you want to see her so badly, you should just go." He looked at her with a half glare, noticing her smug smile, but sighed and quietly entered his room. Meiling laughed lightly; how Sakura could tame him escaped her. Turning back to Yukito, she tried to explain again, the fourth time, going over the facts, from the beginning.
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Eyelids twitched as the eyes underneath darted from side to side, something warm and bright invading the realm of dream and unconscious rambling. The halves parted, exposing the sensitive tissue underneath to a streak of moonlight bending along the concave surface of her eyes. Sakura shifted, the sensations of soreness and exhaustion flooding over her; she groaned in response. Almost immediately, a shadow at the corner of her vision shifted, Syaoran's face appearing from the blurred darkness. "Syaoran?" Her languid voice trailed feebly as she tried to shake the sleep from her mind.
"Hai?" He reached over her figure slowly, to feel her forehead, leaving his hand there even after he ruled out fever.
Sakura's eyes wandered around her, the familiarity of the room, the organized desk, the barren walls, the gaping balcony window where the moon shone it. "What happened?"
"You captured Mist and drained all your energy. Not to mention you nearly caught pneumonia and fell to your death." Syaoran's face darkened, something intense under his features. "Doshite Sakura?"
She understood perfectly, knowing he would not quite understand her reasoning. "Because I couldn't let it hurt any of you."
"But Sakura, why do you always put yourself in danger like that? You could've died if I didn't get there in time."
Sakura sat up slowly and slid her body out of bed padding to the balcony, hands pressed flat against the glass as she stared out into Tomoeda; he was right of course, but… "I know you're right Syaoran; we're partners. We aren't as strong alone as we are when we help each other." How would she explain what she felt? "And I know it's stupid trying to do this alone. But still…" She stopped, not finding the words to tell him how painful it was to know that someone you love could suddenly disappear from your life…like Touya did. Something soft and gentle pressed itself against the back of her neck, arms encircling her, a sturdy support for her back.
Syaoran placed a kiss on the nape of Sakura's neck; somewhere along the way he finally understood her intentions, the same fear he had: of losing the one you love. But her fear was different, more intense, for she already lost someone she loved. He pulled her closer to him, her slender figure leaning on his chest. Whatever the cards could do, there'd always be moments like this, comfortable silences, pretending that everything was fine. He whispered into her ear, her reflected gaze meeting his bouncing off the glass. "I understand; you don't have to explain."
Her transparent reflection smiled mildly. "You always understand." She pulled his arms tighter around her, eyes averted back to the sight of Tomoeda in the pale moonlight. "Haven't you ever wished every day could be like now, no cards, no deaths, no destiny?"
"Everyday I wake up; but we know that it can't be helped." There was a note of sadness in his tone, something Sakura picked up on and made her instantly regret her remark.
She turned around in his grasp, watching his face intently, seriousness in her eyes. "But it makes each moment we have even more important." She leaned forward, uncertainty hanging in her actions. There was something that pushed her to do this; she didn't want to fight it.
Syaoran watched her face looming closer to his, her fragrance intoxicating, the passionate green of her eyes overflowing with love. He met her halfway, tasting the sweetness of her kiss, pulling her body closer to him, pressing her yielding lips deeper into his embrace, an indescribable warmth that bathed his senses.
Sakura's mind receded, lost in the sea of heightened sensations; the movement of mouths, her breath locking in her chest, the overwhelming sensual rush of visceral hunger, of fear, of desire. Each movement meant something immensely vital, the potential of this being their last moment together. She dug her hands deep into his hair, the silky strands bending around her fingers, his body's heat pressed warmly against her. No regrets, only love.
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The door opened silently; Tomoyo smiled back at Meiling and Yukito. She whispered, joy apparent in her voice. "They're a little busy."
"Busy? What do you mean busy?" Meiling peeked into the room, the silhouette of two cardcaptors locked in an embrace as old as time itself. She smirked, the moonlight dancing mischievously in her eyes. "Oh." She closed the door silently.
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Author's Note: Will not turn into a lemon or even be limey; rating will remain at PG. So how was the little S+S moment, sappy enough? Happy holidays everyone! =)