Author's Note: I know…a long wait but shorter than for the last chapter. Remind me never to do 3 fics at the same time…too draining. The dénouement is near; I'm planning 12 or 13 chapters so…yeah, it's coming down to the end. Caoilfhionn: working on Slipping Away as I type this; angsty romance? I guess it seems so. Heh heh. Evil Karyta: the offer still stands, if you need to talk… =) Big thanks to Delita Mukara Bl'Ferno, Kristen, bil, garmibear, Jurei, Dark Shin, Eagle__33, jess, and FloralMoon. Without your support, I don't think I'd be impelled to write so much.
Disclaimer: *holds up picture of CLAMP* *Holds up picture of myself* Nope, don't own CCS.
When Everything Else is GoneChapter 10: Awakening
Sakura was uncomfortable, fidgeting under the sympathetic looks cast directly at her. She turned her head surveying her surroundings, pairs of eyes resting on her, their unspoken messages painfully clear. She didn't want this: to be the one that ruins people's days, to be looked down upon and pitied, even if their intentions are pure. She hastily picked up a test tube as to look busy when she noticed Chiharu approaching quietly. 'Just breath; you can do this.' She smiled up brightly at Chiharu, a well-practiced grin pasted onto her face. "Ohayo Chiharu. How are you today?"
Chiharu looked uncertain of her words, frowning slightly at Sakura's expression. It wasn't hard to tell that Sakura was pretending. "Everyone heard…about Touya." She somewhat sighed in relief as Sakura's pained expression showed itself momentarily before disappearing into a deceptive grin. It would be much easier now that her wall had been somewhat broken down. "We all want to tell you how sorry we are, and if you ever need help or someone to talk to, you can always count on us. Anytime." Seeing a small genuine smile on Sakura's face, she motioned for Yamakazi and Rika to approach, who had been waiting apprehensively nearby.
Sakura curved her mouth a little, touched by her friend's words. "I promise; I'll ask any of you for help if I can't handle things, but I'm doing…fine. Maybe not fine, but eventually. Touya's death was very hard for me, but I'm working through my grief." Her eyes moistened at the thought of how she had pushed these people around her away for so long, to have them think they did something wrong to deserve such treatment. And yet they remained loyal; they didn't deserve the cold shoulder they received for so long. "Gomen nasai, minna." The force of the shame broke Sakura's heart, her tears spilling over her lids. She was instantly wrapped in the arms of her friends.
Rika looked concerned, Sakura being inconsolable. "Doshite? Why are you sorry?"
Sakura replied between choked sobs. "Because…I was so mean to all of you for so long, and…I didn't even consider your feelings."
Yamakazi patted her reassuringly on the back. "You could never be mean, Sakura. We understand; everything was out of control, with your family…" He caught a warning glare from Chiharu, stopping himself from bringing up Sakura's family tragedies.
"Takashi's right; you have nothing to apologize for. You never meant to hurt us." Chiharu gripped Sakura's shoulders lightly, pulling her weeping friend vertical. "Just remember that you can always talk to us, anytime, anywhere." The three friends nodded in affirmation.
"Arigatou." Sakura wiped her eyes blessed beyond words at having her friends. She tried to lose the somber atmosphere, glancing down at her test tube. "When is sensei getting here? Hasn't the bell already rung?"
Rika caught Sakura's intention, replying easily. "That's right; it's late already. Where could he be?"
Chiharu agreed with a confused expression on her face. "I'll check; maybe he's in the hall." She slid open the door, stepping involuntarily back as something like blue snow fell at her feet. "What's this? It looks like…" Before she could finish, her body had already pitched forward, her legs in the classroom and body lying out in the hallway.
"Chiharu!" Yamakazi made his way quickly to her figure, shaking her gently. He brushed the cobalt dust from her face. "Chiharu, wake up." He turned questioningly at Sakura and Rika. "She's out cold. What should I…" Without warning his head fell forward, body slumping to the floor, Chiharu falling out of his grasp and landing next to him.
"What's going on?" Rika looked around, the other students moving toward the two students.
Sakura was panic-stricken, her body immobile and paralyzed on the spot. She started violently as the ability to talk once again resurfaced. "Chiharu! Takashi!" The test tube she was clutching left her hand, spilling into jagged shards upon hitting the unforgiving floor. The tinkling sound of glass shattering echoed in the room, floating high above the unconscious bodies of the other students into the deadly calm of the halls.
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Li Syaoran paid little attention to the sensei as his eyes shifted between the door and the clock. Sakura was facing everyone alone. He tried to convince her to take a few days more off, but she had stubbornly insisted on returning to school. He focused on the second hand of the clock, willing the black ticker to speed up.
Tomoyo watched Syaoran with a small smile; she covered her mouth as if to cough, but whispered to him. "You'll see her soon enough, a half hour. Can't you wait?"
Syaoran flushed uncomfortably under Tomoyo's serene gaze. "I just don't think she's ready to face everyone yet."
Tomoyo nodded appreciatively. "I understand, but she can fight her own battles. Have faith in her."
"I do, demo…I can't help be feel nervous."
Meiling's head snapped up. "A Clow card?"
Syaoran shook his head. "I don't think so, but…I feel something's not right."
"What's not right?" Naoko stood puzzled before the three teenagers.
"Noako?" Tomoyo looked up at her bespectacled friend and then to the teacher. "What are you doing here?"
"Sensei told us to get into groups for the assignment; didn't you hear?"
The three teenagers grinned sheepishly. "Not really."
"I was wondering if you'd mind if I joined your group." Naoko smiled amiably.
"Of course; I haven't talked to you for the longest time." Tomoyo broke into easy conversation about school and their friends leaving Syaoran and Meiling to watch.
Noako listened and responded easily, taking the first chance to ask a question, taking up most of her thoughts. "Isn't Sakura back in school?"
Tomoyo became silent, looking toward Syaoran for any indication of what to say. "She's back."
Noako responded with a 'oh' followed by a length uneasy silence, as she tried to find an easy way to broach the subject. "Everyone heard…about Touya. Why didn't she tell us?"
Meiling responded seeing as how her other two friends had decided to remain silent. "I guess she didn't want to have anyone worry about her."
Naoko shut her book with an air of determination. "I hope I can see her soon; I'd like to talk to her."
Syaoran assented automatically, his anxiety intensifying. There was something identifiable glowing magically beyond the door, feeling the pooling of energy underneath his feet, surrounded him like a cocoon. As if a flare had been lit, panic rippled through the air, the card mistress' aura throwing its power around without control. He stood up and ran, ignorant of the sensei's reprimands, unseeing of the stares of the other students, focused intently on the door. Once flinging open the door, settling shimmering rain drifted past his face around his body, diffusing listlessly through the room. His eyelids became instantly heavy, body losing its tension, muscles unable to support his weight. He collapsed to the ground, face embedded in a thick layer of magical dust. He fought back a yawn, focusing his magic around him, the sensation of control returning to his atrophied limbs. Pushing himself up, he trudged into the hall, a virtually unrecognizable landscape. Masses were scattered like mounds under Sleep's thick cover, the barest of movements that signaled life rising and falling with their breaths. "Sakura!" He called down into the stairwell, his voice traveling haunted through the barren halls.
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Sakura stepped past the threshold, her footfalls padded by the lethal snow. She looked about around her, tortured memories flooding back upon her. This was the same, the thick frosting coating everyone's clothes, laying heavily on rigid features. She looked apprehensively down at a student, body lying at an unnatural angle, head resting perilously on the floor, blanketed in Sleep. For a moment, she thought she saw Yuomo; transported back to the yellow walled building, professors prostrate in the hallways. So very much the same, and yet different. "Minna." She didn't want to deal with this, the impossibility of it all, trying to catch something too fast, too clever. About to collapse onto her knees, her name drifted from overhead, the voice insistent and concerned.
Key which hides the power of darknessShow thy true form
I, Sakura, under contract, command you
Release"Windy!" The spirit erupted with a fierce wild, circling its mistress awaiting instruction. "Blow away this dust." Windy obeyed plowing the cobalt powder out of her path, parting the magic from her, lifting the weight pressing on her eyelids. She rubbed her eyes hard, eliciting a stinging pain as she ran blindly up the stairwell.
She laid eyes on Syaoran, lying limply on the ground. "Syaoran!" This couldn't happen; he couldn't die. She grabbed his shoulder shaking him, nearly hysterical. "Get up Syaoran! Wake up!" In response he opened an eye halfway, his face straining to maintain his consciousness. "Yokata." She propped him up, looking at Windy which immediately started to swirl around the two cardcaptors blowing the dust away.
Syaoran felt the magical influence lessen, registering Sakura's grip on his shoulders. He opened his eyes fully, steadying his arms and legs. "Sleep?"
"Hai." Sakura helped him stand up, getting him used to the ground. She surveyed the area around him, much like her floor: students and teachers buried under the thick magic, silence unfathomable. Struck by the sudden seriousness she questioned, "Where's Tomoyo and Meiling?"
Syaoran jerked from half-consciousness, twisting his body to face an open door. "They were in class when I felt Sleep." Both cardcaptors ran toward the doorway, Windy flying before them scattering the azure powder.
"Tomoyo!" Sakura burst across the doorsill sweeping her eyes back and forth in the room, practically assaulted by the dead stillness. She stalked cautiously down the aisles stopping abruptly in the middle of the last row. She was caught from behind, enfolded in strong arms just as her knees gave way. She turned from the sight and murmured nearly unintelligibly into Syaoran's shirt. "Tomoyo…Meiling…Naoko."
Syaoran nodded gravely as he saw the three girls slumped unmoving on the floor. He held Sakura tighter, whispering assurances into her ear. "They'll be fine; right after we seal Sleep."
The tears threatening to develop were denied their formation as Sakura breathed in deeply trying to calm her nerves, only to have them frayed as Sleep's aura flitted past them just outside the door. She clutched her staff harder looking at Windy in command. "Let's go."
Flurries of blue blew out of the doorway, two cardcaptors appearing in its wake. Sleep was waiting, a small smile on its cruel lips. The sprightly card bobbed up and down expectantly urging the two to follow it. It darted into a nearby room as they made the first move to chase it.
Syaoran had an uneasy feeling following Sleep; it wasn't safe to run blindly. "Sakura matte!" But it was too late, the card mistress disappearing into the black of the auditorium. He darted in behind her, an eerie chill brushing his skin. The room was dim, clouded sunlight blocked by the thick curtains, row and rows of empty seats, the stage with a single ghost light on. A few bodies lay at the base of the light, students practicing for a play no doubt. "Sakura?"
"Syaoran?" The voice came somewhere off to his right, but he couldn't make anything out in the dark.
He focused internally, extracting multiple ofudas and throwing them in all directions. As each adhered to a wall, the paper sparked and floated a small flame, casting a round circle of light. The whole effect was something akin to a torch lit cavern, Sakura's slender silhouette a few feet away from him. "Sakura?" He ran toward her, suddenly stopped by her warning hand. He felt it then, a magic descending, falling lightly yet powerfully.
"Windy!" The wind spirit blew against the falling dust, the heavy sleepiness in the air dissipating. Each gust blew hard against the walls, the ofudas flickering dangerously close to going out all together, the room fluxing between being lit and momentary darkness.
"We can't use Windy; we'll be left in the dark."
"I know, but what do we do?" Sakura was running out of idea as another downpour of powder approached her magical senses. 'If only I could…' "Erase!" The jester card freed itself and floated in the air patiently. "Can you erase Sleep's powder?" Erase nodded, taking its checkered cape and waving it around itself a few times. As the cape enlarged, the blue snow came closer to the card mistress. Flicking the sheet a few times, the cape fluttered around the room, capturing most of the dust, some magic still floating down the ground. Sakura clenched her wand, feeling Sleep's aura passing around her like a blur, being somewhere one second and another the next. She caught the barest of looks as it zipped past an ofuda, something sparkling in the dark before fading back into the shadows. "I can't find it. What if it disappears again? Everyone…"
Syaoran cut her off, a quick affirmation. "We'll seal this." He scoured his mind for something in the temporary silence. He started with an idea. "Use Lock; we can trap Sleep in here."
Sakura pulled Lock out, summoning the spirit. Green ribbons burst from the rectangular card, quickly lining the walls like wallpaper, a green cage surrounding the room before turning clear. Sleep took advantage of Sakura's summoning time to dart between the two cardcaptors heading straight for the open auditorium door. "Sleep!" Sakura called after the rogue card watching in anxiety as it approached freedom. As it hit the threshold, a green wall appeared, stretching as Sleep plowed into it. Holding firm, the barrier flung Sleep back into the pits of the Auditorium. Sakura sighed in relief. "Windy, tie up Sleep." The wind spirit chased Sleep blowing as fast as hurricane winds, but not able to catch it. Sakura was feeling drained again, Erase still filtering out most of Sleep's attacks, Windy drawing too much energy to chase Sleep, Sleep's powder settling over her mind.
Syaoran supported Sakura from behind, as she was drifting nearer and nearer to eternal sleep. "Sakura, you can't sleep."
She responded languidly, limbs falling limp. "It's taking…too much energy."
"Then recall Windy…it can't catch Sleep."
"Windy…return." The spirit broke off pursuit, immediately sealing itself back into card form. "How…can we catch Sleep…now? It's too fast."
"We will; you can't give up. We've caught quick cards before like…Shot." He extracted Shot from Sakura's deck throwing it in the air. He gently took her arms in his hands, raising the wand into the air. "You've got to summon Shot, Sakura."
Her half open eyes seemed to glow with understanding. "Shot…stop Sleep." Syaoran brought the wand down onto the card, a small sprightly spirit appearing before them. In a flash, Shot had fixed upon Sleep, blasts of light illuminating the dim auditorium like lightning. Tense moments passed before a muffled thud sounded somewhere in the shadows. Shot returned to reseal itself into card form followed immediately by Lock. Still to drained, Syaoran carried Sakura into the darkness, the wand dragging on the ground with a rasping sound. Sakura peered intently into the darkness, feeling the weakened Sleep somewhere in front of them. Laying her down, Syaoran helped Sakura into a kneeling position, staff pointing into the shadows. "Return to the form you were meant to be in, Clow card!" As the glowing circle appeared underneath both cardcaptor's bodies, the unseen Sleep dissolved into the vaprous tendrils of magic converging to a rectangular card. The ofuda's lights flickered randomly in the generated winds, blowing out one by one, leaving Sakura and Syaoran alone in the darkness, looking toward the ghost light, the only source of illumination. The huddled masses lying underneath the light moaned, bodies slowly moving, eyes snapping open. The feel of the sealed card in hand, Sakura dragged herself up, looking down at the card for a second before darting out the room.
Sakura ran, blindly, focused, impatiently. She flew past the waking people in the hallways, pushing herself forward through the double doors of the school, turning recklessly to the road. She didn't stop until she burst through the hospital door, looking feverishly down the hall. She threw herself into the room, to be greeted by a sleeping figure, deathly silence except her deep breathing. Her body flagged, from exhaustion and disappointment; there was no movement, no sign of recovery. "Otou-san…" She looked behind her certain of who would be there.
Syaoran looked mournfully at the sleeping figure, shifting his gaze to the distraught green of Sakura's eyes. "Sakura…" It wasn't long before she was sobbing loudly against his chest, her hands laying down her sides flaccidly.
"Syaoran…he's not better. If he dies…"
"He won't." Even Syaoran didn't fully believe his words; would Fujitaka recover? "We sealed Sleep; he has to wake up."
"But if he doesn't…I'll have…no family." It wasn't until then that Sakura appreciated the whole picture before her. If her father died, her whole family would be gone, leaving her alone. It was then that her heart broke; truly splintered apart. There was no sobbing this time, a silent mourning, tears endlessly streaming across her skin, making their way to the ground. Syaoran held her tighter, knowing what hung in the balance if Fujitaka didn't wake.
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The clock passed another sweep across the numbers; night had come and gone. Both figures sat motionless watching the sleeping form. It had been hours, time striking nine a few minutes past. The silence in the room built like dread, broken by the rhythmic beeps of the machines. Syaoran held Sakura's hand, both watching for signs of awakening. The gesture wasn't much, but it was enough, Sakura having stopped crying hours before, now sitting silently hoping, her heart sinking with each lazy beep, each drip of the IV.
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Eyelids lost their load, snapping open to face the grating fluorescent lights above. The body stirs, jerked to reanimation, testing out sore muscles and nearly forgotten senses. A parting reveals light brown, once more watching the world, in having been denied its sights for so long. A low groan issued from his throat as his vision swam from the sensory onslaught. Through his haze he felt a gentle pressure on his hands, some jumbled sound floating around him, a mix of something melodic and erratic.
"Otou-san!" Sakura was clasped around his hand in a grip that wouldn't be broken. She had lifted her eyes when the monitor jumped, the low spaced out beeps turning into rapid shrill calls.
His weary eyes turned to her, the dark pupils contracting to focus on her face, his voice coming out uncertain, recalling a skill not used for a long time. "Sakura? Where am I?"
"The hospital." She hushed his next question with a soft 'shh' keeping her gaze directed to his face.
Fujitaka shakily raised his hand to his head, rubbing his temples. "I see." He looked beyond Sakura's face, a boy standing watching apprehensively by the door. "Touya?"
Sakura snapped her head back, finding not her brother but Syaoran. "Touya?"
Fujitaka blinked a few times, the image clearing in his head. He chuckled a little, his laughs interspersed with a few coughs. "Gomen nasai; I thought you were Touya."
Sakura smiled tearfully with him, a mixture of grief and joy. She took Syaoran's arm leading him to the lying man. "Otou-san, this is Syaoran."
Fujitaka smiled kindly; the way she looked at Syaoran said it all. "Oh, nice to meet you Syaoran." He extended his arm, weakly shaking hands with Syaoran. "By the way, how is Touya?"
Sakura stiffened at the mention, the thought of having to tell her father about Touya never being a possibility in her mind. Both cardcaptor's unconsciously sought out each other's hands, steadying themselves by the contact. "He's…"
A knock interrupted the tense moment, a doctor appearing in the doorway, somewhat breathless. He looked at Fujitaka sighing in relief at the signs of alertness; he whispered, almost to himself. "A miracle." He shook his head when three pairs of eyes were watching him in confusion. "Sorry about that; it's just that this all seems so…impossible. Many of the coma patients from the university have been waking today." He strode quickly to Fujitaka's side checking the machines, turning the heart monitor silent, reading the chart. "It's incredible; how do you feel?"
Fujitaka was confused. The University? "I'm doing fine; just a little tired."
The doctor smiled reassuringly. "That's normal. In fact…" His pager went off; looking down, his expression turned serious. "I have to go now; get some rest." Before Fujitaka could thank the man, he was already a blur of white disappearing through the door.
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Sakura was frightened; how would her father take her being the card mistress, and about Touya? She watched the doctor examine the machines and question her father. She turned to Syaoran searching for the answers of the questions that would not stay quite in her mind. "What do I do?"
Syaoran's face contorted, uneasiness and inevitability in his eyes. "He has to know." He brought their hands up to his chest. "You don't want him to be like…Touya."
Panic swept across Sakura's face, recalling how close she was to losing her father this time. "I know, but he just woke up…doesn't he deserve some time to get used to everything?" Syaoran looked sympathetically at the man, nodding in acceptance. "Tomorrow." She looked eagerly to the doctor just as the pager went off.
"You look tired Sakura." Fujitaka looked concernedly at his daughter, her face less vibrant than he remembered, her eyes lacking that spark of life he had adored in her mother.
Sakura fought back a yawn without success, rubbing her eyes. "A little."
"Then go home and get some sleep."
"But…"
Fujitaka interrupted with a fatherly tone. "You need rest. I may be in a hospital but I'm still your father. Sleep; I'll be here in the morning. I promise." Finding Sakura still stubbornly standing before him, her eyes struggling to stay open, he turned to Syaoran, face spread with humor. "As you can see, she's as stubborn as her mother was. Please make sure she gets some sleep."
Syaoran smiled in return to Fujitaka's remark, some of the uncertainty between the two dissipating. He bowed formally before pulling Sakura toward the door, giving her a pleading look. "Hai, sir."
"Mou, Syaoran. Don't give me that look." Sakura's laugh drifted over the doorway as they passed through.
"I'll stop if you listen to your father."
Both teenagers disappeared down the corridor leaving Fujitaka chuckling to himself.
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Sakura was nervous, walking down the corridor, every step feeling one bit closer to having to tell her father.
Syaoran walked next to her, a supportive arm around her shoulder. "Nervous?"
Sakura stared ahead of her, the familiar wing looming closer. "Afraid."
Syaoran stopped, turning Sakura towards him, looking into her eyes. "Of what?"
"Otou-san's reaction." Sakura walked again, taking the door knob in her hand and twisting, the spring giving off a sound, something somber and final like the tolling of a bell. She paused before someone facing her ready to leave. "Yukito; you heard?"
His solemn citrine eyes seemed to flicker, an emotion unwillingly forced back into his mind. "Actually I was visiting this morning."
Another regret presented itself to Sakura. "Gomen Yukito; I should have called you, but with everything, I guess I forgot."
He shook his head in dismissal, casting an apprehensive look back into the room, before taking his leave. "I'm late for work; get well soon Fujitaka."
The mentioned man was seated in a wheelchair, watching the world through his window. He nodded his head in acknowledgment of Yukito's goodbye, his mind distractedly somewhere else. Sakura was quick to notice his change, the mouth that was always curved into a smile now emotionlessly sealed. His eyes were saddened, something about the play between his darkened hues and eyebrows that signaled deep sorrow. He didn't acknowledge Sakura's presence, nor did he stir for Syaoran's entrance, deciding to remain steadfast staring out into the sky between the slats of the hospital blinds.
It wasn't hard to guess; Sakura's nightmare unleashing itself into reality. She questioned, the softness of her voice barely disturbing the stillness of the room. "So you know? About oni-chan? About the…cards?" Fujitaka didn't stir, still glass eyed watching life through the window.
His reply was quiet, of someone recovering from something too harsh for words. "Hai. Yukito told me."
Sakura's heart wrenched, watching her father reel from the pain. She hugged him tight. "Everything?" Her fear intensified; what if her father had Yukito's reaction?
He hesitated, unsure of his answer, testing the word on his mouth. "Everything." His eyes remained aimed forward.
Sakura let her arms drop away from her father, her heart sinking with each word. "Do you hate me?"
He turned his head slightly, eyes glazed over with tears. "Of course not." He reached out to grasp her hand, tightening his grip with the new wave of emotion flooding his senses. "It's too cruel of fate; first your Okaa-san and now Touya." He blinked back the grief forming in his eyes. "I promised her that I wouldn't cry at her death, to be strong for you and Touya, to carry on and make sure you two live your lives happy. I'm not…." He breathed in sharply, his hands wrapping around Sakura's. "I'm not that strong. I can't be strong this time."
Sakura had fallen to her knees, kneeling beside her father, the tears dripping from her chin. The scene was powerful; the man who had stood up through so much adversity was broken before her, and no words would fully take away the feeling that was eating its way through his heart. "You don't have to be; you have me." She pulled him into a hug, the two remnants of the Kinomoto family clinging onto each other as if they would cease to be if separated.
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The sun looked woeful, its brightness muted behind the branching cloud cover, thin ribbons of light making their way to the frozen ground below. Sakura bent down low, close enough to brush the ground with her face, Fujitaka next to her kneeling reverently. She laid the flower down to retake her place standing at Syaoran's side.
Fujitaka remained in his position, head bent, hands resting one on each grave. He was silent, as was Sakura, as was Syaoran, as was nature surrounding them. Mourning impregnated the air, the overtones of grief pooling at their feet. It was a loaded sight; perhaps overwrought with tragedy, and yet they were before the graves, the formation of a new family.
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Author's Note: Made it! Before New Years, barely. December 31 if this displays tomorrow. Yatta! Not much else here; review for me, please?