Author's Note: Hi, there! I'm Abisinia and this is my first Card Captor
Sakura Fan fiction!!!!!!!!!!!! Just to make a few things clear: 1) Sakura and
friends are about 17 years old in this fic 2) Since they are about 17, they
don't think or act as the 10 year old children they were in the series, if you
know what I mean 3) Eriol has gone back, just like in the series 4) Syaoran
hasn't told Sakura about his feelings YET 5) Syaoran hasn't gone and won't go
back to Hong Kong (yessssssss!!!!!!!!!!!) 6) Since I'm not used to those "kun",
"san" and "chan" stuff, I won't use them 7) Don't be too hard on my pitiful
grammar skills, since English isn't my first language
Firstly, I want to thank Kyralea, Absolut Angel, Satashi and THE
MOUSE, the four wonderful authors who inspired me to write this story (although
they probably don't know me)! I'd also like the readers to know that this is MY
story, so don't hate me if you don't like it, because I did my best. And
please, I beg you, send me FEEDBACK (flames or whatever)!!!!!!!!!! Thanks!
I'd also like to thank the first reviewers of this fic:
Moshimoshiqueen, Nako-chan, LiNa, Lyss chan, sakura, nonie77, DawnRising, Cherry_Blossom,
chescaOtaku, Sakura Li, CATGIRL, Happy Individual, Flower Kid, ~*princess
icestar*~, Yeslek25, Star Mistress, Sakura Kinomoto Li, ~lil~ Sakura~chan, Jane,
Silver Kitsune, kari, Intrams and AyaChan! You've helped me a lot!
Disclaimer: No, I don't own Card Captor Sakura. Clamp
does. Sue THEM if you want to…
Disclaimer 2: I DO own Lin Su Hin (the pronunciation is "Lin Su HAN" and
"Lin" is the surname)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't forget:
"……….." = Thinking
- ………… = Speaking (duh!)
~*~*~*~* = Change of scene
or/and POV
(A.N.:……) = Author's note
There are also a few thick black lines in the middle of the text,
I'm not sure where. Please ignore them: it was an error I wasn't able to do
anything about! L
Love or Hatred?
By Abisinia
Chapter 4: Explanations, Roofs and Return
Sakura's long, dark lashes batted as she
slowly opened her sparkling emerald eyes. Her head ached so much she thought it
was going to explode. She tried to push the pain away and looked around,
surprised to realize that she was in her bedroom... and Tomoyo was sitting
beside her.
- Sakura! I'm so glad you're back! - She
smiled, as she hugged her best friend. It was so good to know that the Card
Mistress was well!
- Tomoyo... What am I doing here? - The
amber-haired girl was still puzzled. She let go of her friend and stared at
her, with a visible question mark on her green eyes.
- Don't you remember anything? – The
amethyst-eyed girl asked, in disappointment. That meant her best friend didn't
remember Li's confession… Well, he'd just have to tell and kiss her again; and
maybe Tomoyo would be able to film them next time!
Sakura hesitated. Suddenly, images of what
had happened during lunchtime flashed inside her head. Under the tree… she and
Su Hin had- the Card Mistress blushed deep crimson, as she tried to push that
memory away, afraid of feeling again what she had felt at that moment. Her mind
focused on remembering what had happened after that. A young man with chocolate
chestnut hair… Li... He was walking away and that sight mysteriously filled her
with despair... then she ran towards him. And finally, a blurred glimpse of his
sunset amber eyes. But she could remember nothing more.
- I... I was under the tree and... – The Card Mistress frowned - I saw Syaoran,
but...
- But? – Tomoyo encouraged.
- When I tried to reach him, I... I don't
know... I can't remember...
-
I guess you
fainted, Sakura.
- It's possible... - then, she suddenly
lifted her head, looking around. How hadn't she noticed that aura before? That
aura she had known for so many years and that she would always identify at the
precise moment it assaulted her senses? And it was near, very near... warm and
controlled as always - Where is Syaoran?
- He was downstairs talking to your
brother... I guess he's already left – The wavy-haired girl stated, casually.
- Touya and Li... TALKING?! – Sakura tried
to picture that scene… Nah! Just impossible!
- Believe it or not... strange things
happen when there is a good motive! - she chuckled.
- Hoe? - The other girl added, in
puzzlement. What the heck was her friend talking about? Not a single motive
could lead those two to a civil conversation!
- Just tell me, Sakura: what were you
doing under the tree? - Tomoyo said, changing the subject. She was positive
that Sakura didn't remember about the last events, but maybe the previous ones
were still there.
The sorceress wasn't expecting that
question. Tomoyo really had the annoying ability to catch her by surprise in
every kind of situation! Sakura was now as red as a tomato, and she knew that
her face would still go a deeper red soon.
- I... was having lunch... with Su Hin...
- Oh! HAVING LUNCH with the cute new
student? – A pair of amethyst eyes sparkled - I bet it was more than that...
- Well... no, it's just that... we... – It
was harder than she'd thought… Why couldn't she just say it?
- You? – She encouraged.
- Actually he... not me...you know,
Tomoyo...
- No, I don't... he what?
- I swear I didn't want to... But, it was
just so...
- Sakura... WHAT didn't you want to do? -
Tomoyo could feel a cold chill through her body, filling her with a sudden
fright of what her friend was going reply. Strangely, she thought it wouldn't
be a good thing…
- I didn't want to... – She looked down at
the floor with blank eyes, embarrassment filling her completely. She hadn't
wanted it to be that way… she had dreamed, since she was ten, that her first
kiss would be with the one she loved the most, then. She wouldn't have minded
to wait until she was 70 if she had had to. But it was done. Just done - ...
kiss him....
Tomoyo froze. She had finally said it… But
why, for God's sake, had she done that? What about Syaoran?… But then, she
noticed how embarrassed her friend was. Sakura was holding her legs to her
chest and looking down at her feet, sitting on the corner of her bed, just like
a little child who was caught doing something bad. The dark-haired girl tried
to control her voice, but she was too shocked to succeed:
- You KISSED Su Hin ???????????????????
- No! I mean, yes... well... sort of...
- What was that supposed to mean? – Even
Tomoyo was taken aback by her tone, but she just couldn't help it.
- Actually... – She paused to take a long
breath and then started speaking again. Or maybe it's better to say that the
words stormed out of her mouth - Ididn't
wanttokisshimbuthekissedmebeforeIcoulddoanything-
- Calm down, Sakura - Tomoyo said,
interrupting her friend while she gave her a comforting hug - You don't have to
tell me if you don't feel like doing it...
The girl's sobbing gradually stopped, as
she returned her best friend's hug. The Card Mistress looked at Tomoyo... Yes,
she wanted to tell her... She HAD to tell someone... Someone who could help
her... And there was certainly no one better than the amethyst-eyed girl, who
had been there to help her since they were children. And she was certainly the only
one who could help Sakura to explain everything to Syaoran...
- Tomoyo... thanks...
-
You're
welcome - she smiled. And then she felt her jade-eyed friend loose the hug,
which meant that she had finally decided to tell her everything. It would be
really weird if she hadn't…
- What happened was that... I WAS having
lunch with Su Hin, because I had forgotten mine...
- Go on...
- When I was about to leave, he pulled
me... and then, when I realized what was happening, ... he was-
- All right... – Tomoyo interrupted again,
knowing how the sentence was going to end. Then, she decided to help her friend
further… she'd make her realize WHY she had felt so bad when she kissed Su Hin
- But tell me, what's wrong about that?
Sakura's eyes widened as she reflected
about what her friend had just said. And it confused her.
- I... I didn't want to kiss him...
- So you're saying that he forced you to
kiss him?
- No! I mean...
- Sakura... I just couldn't get one thing:
why didn't you make him stop? You could've done that, you know... - Tomoyo was
staring seriously at her friend.
- I... I just couldn't... It felt so
strange and yet... – she hesitated.
- And yet it was good?
- Well... sort of... – Sakura felt bad to
admit that, but she wouldn't lie to Tomoyo. Suddenly, she remembered something
she had felt at that moment. Something weird that could probably be the
explanation for her lack of reaction - I was kind of paralyzed...I... didn't
have any control over my own body. It seemed that someone else was in charge of
my actions.
There were a few minutes of silence. That
was surely strange, but it justified the situation… Tomoyo would brainstorm
about that later.
- And what else, Sakura?
- W...What do you mean: what else?
- You weren't sad because of that... at
least not only because of that...
- Tomoyo, how did you...
- Come on, I've known you for ages! You're
my best friend, Sakura... Now, tell me why are you so sad...
- You know... while Su Hin was...
- Ok, you may skip that part...
- Thanks. The only thing I could think
about was... that it was wrong...
- And why?
- Because... he wasn't... he wasn't... -
She blushed a very deep crimson, as she had never blushed before.
"Because he wasn't Syaoran?" Sakura
thought to herself, in disbelief.
- Because he wasn't the one you wanted to
kiss. - Tomoyo completed her sentence. She wouldn't dare to say the name of
that person… and she knew she didn't have to… the Card Mistress knew who he
was…
- Exactly...but... this is not the worst
part... - Sakura continued. She knew that, if she wanted her friend to be able
to help her, she couldn't hide any tiny detail.
- Huh? - this time the other girl was very
puzzled - And what is it?
- HE has... he... saw me, I mean... us.
-
Are you
telling me that someone has seen you and Su Hin... KISSING? - Why Tomoyo had to
make things harder, repeating that word every five seconds?
- Yes...no! It was not just someone... It
was HIM!
In a heartbeat, the image of a charming
young man with piercing sunset amber eyes and messy chestnut hair, followed by
a name came, into Tomoyo's mind. The situation was worse than she had imagined…
- Syaoran – The dark-haired girl stated
and, for a few minutes, an uncomfortable silence filled the room. Sakura,
taking her emerald eyes away from the floor, finally looked at her friend, with
a desperate expression on her face.
- When I noticed... he was already walking
away...
There was absolutely no reply: Tomoyo was
speechless. There was always something or someone standing on the way of her
two friends… Was that a conspiracy or what???
-
And when I
saw him leaving, I just ran as fast as I could towards him... - She looked down
again.
- So... – A ray of comprehension shot amid
the dark confusion of Tomoyo's thoughts. Pieces were coming together inside her
head… everything made sense, now - That's why he said he didn't know what had
happened to you... Poor Li: such a bad liar! – Then she paused again, aware
that her words made no sense for Sakura. She thought it was better that way:
the Card Mistress had to find out those things by herself - I think you'd
better rest now...
-
Huh? Oh… I
guess so... - She replied, making no attempt to hide her puzzlement. The
Camerawoman could be so mysterious sometimes… specially when it came up to
Syaoran!
- I'm off, then... I'll call you tomorrow
to check on you, ok? – She stood up and walked to the door, smiling at her
friend and waving her goodbye.
- Ok, Tomoyo... bye... – The Card Mistress
said. As she saw her friend going through the door, she whispered softly,
knowing that she would be able to hear her - And thanks... for everything...
The dark-haired girl didn't even make
mention of turning around or saying a word in reply. She barely stopped and
smiled to herself, knowing that Sakura wasn't expecting an answer. Then, she
finally made her way down the stairs and out of the house.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
-
Will you be
ok?
-
Don't worry,
Touya… - Sakura smiled gently to her brother. He had gone to her room to see if
she needed anything and to tell her goodnight. The dark-eyed man had been very
caring towards her for the whole day, making Sakura wonder if that was really
her older-annoying brother.
-
Just rest,
and tomorrow you'll be better… - He smirked and then teased - When a squirt
like you is sick, the best thing to do is let it sleep for a long time…
-
I'm not a
squirt!!!!! – She replied, as she cursed herself for not being able to stomp on
his foot at the moment. Maybe Touya was finally coming back to his old self…
-
See? You're
already scarier than ever, if that's possible … and it'll certainly get worse
if you don't rest! – He continued, as he left the room, closing the door behind
him to block a shoe Sakura had suddenly found in hand and thrown at him.
"Touya is SO annoying!" – The Card
Mistress thought, as she turned to the side, lying on her bed – "Where is
Kero?"
She looked around, but she couldn't see the
stuffed-yellow-lion-bear-like magical creature anywhere. She didn't remember
Tomoyo inviting him for some candies, so where could he be?
"I'm too tired to look for him now… he
must be busy doing something private…"
Sakura felt her emerald eyes pleasantly
heavy and slowly closed them. The warmth of her blanket brought a relaxing
sensation as it surrounded her body, and she smiled, slightly. Then, unaware of
what she was doing, she brought her fingers to her curved lips. She frowned as
she felt her body shivering.
"What was that feeling?"
Flashing images of a young man with messy
chestnut hair and amber, serious eyes filled her thoughts. What would feel like
if she had kissed him? But she hadn't… Su Hin had kissed her… and while he did
that the only thing Sakura could think about was Syaoran! To make things even
worse, he had seen them…she had noticed his eyes on her… how wouldn't she? Her
body trembled every time Li's eyes laid at her, and she would recognize his
gaze no matter what or where… But Su Hin's lips had been so insisting she
hadn't been able to move or think…
-
I… I hate
you… - Sakura whispered, as a single tear, burning with an unexpected anger,
streamed down her face. She had never said those words before to anyone… but
they were the first ones that came to her… So, that was the feeling… hatred…
Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by
a presence. Strangely, she knew that it had been there for quite a long time,
silently teasing her magical senses… It wasn't a strange aura… far from that… it
was comforting, warm and it was very near…
-
Syaoran? –
She immediately stood up, anxiousness filling her body. Sakura didn't think
twice before lifting her window and bending down to look outside. Not a single
glimpse of the warrior she was looking for… But the feeling of his aura was
much stronger now… She could almost feel it reaching for hers! It had to be
Li's aura!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Syaoran was lying on the
roof of Sakura's house, just above her bedroom. He was staring dreamingly at
the stars, using his arms as a pillow and cursing himself for forgetting to
bring his battle costume… he knew it would soon be useful. Nothing strange had
happened since had decided to stay there… except for the time when Tomoyo had
left, smiling to him as she waved her hand, saying goodbye…
-
How did she
know I was up here? – He wondered, feeling a slight blush flushing his face.
That didn't really matter did it? Oh, yes… it did… was he THAT predictable? Maybe
in Tomoyo's point of view he was…
Li was now reflecting about what he had
done in Sakura's room. He had kissed her… just a soft, gentle kiss, but enough
to keep his body warm until that moment, although it was a little bit cold. A
kiss which ended up to have no other use that satisfying his long desire of
doing it… a kiss which was meant to wake… a kiss which was meant to be a
confession…
But none of those two things actually
happened… because Sakura hadn't come back to her senses. But what bothered him
the most was that he was such a coward he had to kiss her while she was
unconscious. As if it wasn't enough, Touya had seen him… and now, after their
conversation (although it still didn't sound believable), the Clow Mistress's
brother knew about his feelings… Well, probably the only one who wasn't aware
of that was Sakura herself!
-
Syaoran?
His thoughts were interrupted by an
anxious voice, coming from a place below. Li's body trembled and backed away,
sitting down on a dark corner, holding his legs to his chest. He felt the owner
of the voice's warm aura, and it was growing stronger and stronger. He had
completely forgotten that they could feel each other's auras… the sorcerer felt
a mix of happiness and concern wrestle inside him: Sakura was back to her
senses, but how would he justify his presence on the roof of her house?
He was a bit taken aback when he saw the
shape of a hand, and then a slim, elegant body climbing up to the roof. He
couldn't see very well, for it was very dark already, but he knew who that was
anyway… not only because of the pinkish powerful aura that was clearly reaching
out for his. Shining emerald eyes blinked graciously and quizzically, proving
him he had sensed correctly. He smirked at that. How wouldn't he feel her near?
-
Why are you
hiding? You know I can sense you… - The same voice that had spoken before, but
now in a sad, disappointed tone.
Syaoran finally decided to show up. He had
nothing to loose, anyways! And her sad voice was just too much for him to
handle… He hated to see her sad, especially because of him. The warrior slowly
stood up, his arms crossed on his chest, and tried to keep the serious look in
his eyes, just as the cold tone in his voice.
-
You should
be resting, now… Sakura… - he looked at her in the eyes, feeling suddenly dizzy
as warmth filled his body.
-
Syaoran! –
She ran instantly towards him, trying hard not to fall, and hugged him tightly,
throwing her arms around his neck and burying her face on his chest. Oh my…
What was he going to think about her, throwing herself in his arms like that?
Well… Too late, now.
Surprised, the male Card Captor
instinctively slid his arms around her waist to hold her back, but he was too
pleasantly dizzy to notice they were about to fall. She stumbled, along with
him, and both of them ended up falling on the roof (A.N.: Not FROM the
roof!), making a loud noise.
In a heartbeat, they heard the front door
being opened. The Card Captors felt a small, alert aura… Not powerful such as
theirs but strong enough to let them recognize that it was Touya, and that he
was outside. The couple could almost feel him gazing suspiciously at the roof,
but fortunately he couldn't see anything. With a question mark on his head and
a puzzled look in his eyes, the dark-haired man went back inside his house.
Syaoran sighted in relief as he heard the
front door being closed once again. Only then he realized that he was laid back
on the roof, holding Sakura tightly by her waist, and that she was literally on
top of him, with her arms around his neck and her head on his chest. He
instantly ignored the pain on the entire back of his body.
-
Uh… Sakura?
– He begun, hesitantly caressing her auburn locks with his fingers. During a few
seconds of complete silence, he felt her chest moving slightly up and down with
her soft breathing just above him, but then her voice, almost in a whisper,
filled his ears.
-
Yes? – She
replied, not making a single mention to move or open her eyes. She had totally
lost track of what was happening after she had felt her brother's aura fading
away. The only thing she was completely aware of, were Li's voice and fingers
gently caressing her hair… and she wasn't actually willing for anything else.
-
Are you all
right? – He continued, glad to be allowed to keep on "playing" with her golden
locks, although her absent tone had brought him a little bit of concern.
-
Yes… - She
answered, in the very same way she had just done. Why wouldn't she be OK? Only
after a few seconds, she remembered they had fallen not long ago – And you?
-
I guess I
could say I've never been better… - He giggled, in a playful tone, bringing
Sakura´s mind back to Earth.
-
Huh? – She
finally opened her emerald eyes, very slowly, as she lifted her head from the
young-man's chest. The sorceress was welcomed by a pair of sparkling amber
eyes, barely a few inches below her. She was suddenly aware that she wasn't
laid on the roof, but on Syaoran; and they were holding each other. Their faces
were so close she could only see his eyes clearly, and his scent was filling
her with a mix of cinnamon and autumn leaves… It also took her some time to
realize that, when she turned her head to look down at him, their lips had
brushed… But the problem was that this whole bunch of stunning information came
to her all at the same time – HOEEE!!!!!! – She backed away her face.
Syaoran was mentally kicking himself.
Moving a single millimeter forward while their lips had brushed would have
probably lead things to a "conclusion"… then why the heck hadn't he been able
to move?!
Sakura was still on top of him, but her
face was quite further this time. Her body was making a dizzying pressure on
his, while they stared at each other. Syaoran, lost in emerald pools, and Sakura,
hypnotized by his amber gaze.
-
I'm glad…
you're already feeling better… - He said, not taking his eyes away from hers. –
Do you remember what happened?
She struggled to hold his gaze but, after
a few seconds, the Card Mistress finally looked away and rolled to the side,
feeling the hard, cold roof below her. Then she sat down, bringing her legs to
her chest and resting her chin on her knees as she looked down at her feet. Li
felt extremely cold when her body moved away; he sat down the same way she was
sitting, although he was facing her face instead of his feet… it was certainly
far more interesting…
-
Yes… A few
things… - She finally replied, still not looking at him. Why was he doing that?
-
Such as
what? – He kept his voice in a low tone to hide its trembling and hesitation.
-
Such as
being sorry you had to see that… - She whispered, sincerely. But when she was
about to continue, the teenager saw Syaoran standing up quickly and silencing
her with a move of his fingers. He held his onyx pendant and invoked his sword,
holding it firmly and staring seriously at Sakura.
-
Can you feel
it?
-
Feel what?
-
The
presence!
And then
she finally sensed it, while she stood up and took her place beside Li… that presence
which wasn't unknown anymore… that presence which had suddenly filled their
senses with its dark aura… that presence which was full of hatred…
