AUTHOR'S NOTE
No one ever reads the author's note anyway, but I still write them. I apologize for the delay, midterms and all I didn't have a lot of time. I write in direct proportion to the amount of good reviews I get so I appreciate them. If you like it, let me know. If you didn't, at least be nice. I try to write to the best of my ability, but occasionally I feel the chapters get a bit plot light and sap heavy if you know what I mean. Make the poor author feel better about her abilities. LOL!
THANKS! ENJOY
Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it puts out the little, it kindles the great.
-Roger DeBussy-Rabutin
In his two days at Rivendell, Legolas still hadn't caught a glimpse of the one person he was looking for. Anarkyn hadn't showed herself to anyone lately as far as he could tell. It was like she had disappeared.
"It hurts to be this near her," he thought," and know I cannot be with her even now. Maybe it is better she not show herself."
Legolas had been in meeting with Elrond. That was unpleasant enough, having to explain the escape of that Gollum creature. And he would have to do it again at the secret meeting in the morrow. Lost in thought he wandered back to the guest quarters.
"If she only knew I consider her the other part of my soul, there would be no doubting about me in her mind," he mused," though that would probably scare her away. Amazing the only thing that woman is afraid of is letting anyone close to her. How she was hurt I do not know, but it was more than anyone deserved."
He had stopped really paying attention to his surroundings when something reached out of the shadows and seized his arm.
Anarkyn drug Legolas back into the darkness of the trees. He stopped and looked at her a moment in shock, then did the first thing that occurred to him he wanted to do. He grabbed her hard by the shoulders and kissed her almost frantically. She twisted her arms around his neck and dug her fingers into his hair.
2500 years of separation cannot be erased in one moment, but the two elves tried. It had been so hard on both of them that the moment seemed surreal. When every fiber of ones being calls out to another with no hope of an answer, the final longed for response is always surprising.
Anarkyn finally pulled out of the kiss and clung to Legolas as if there was some danger of him melting away in front of her. She was weeping softly, something she hadn't done in a millennia or more, and clinging to him like a drowning man to a rope. Legolas stroked her hair and murmured to her in elvish. He realized that he too was crying, tears quietly running down his face. He let out a ragged sigh and held on to Anarkyn as if she were the only thing that stood between him and oblivion.
"You thought I wouldn't come?" he finally whispered to her huskily.
"No, but I almost hoped you wouldn't."
"I never forgot, An. I never forgot. And I waited. It never occurred to me to do otherwise."
"I cannot do this," Anarkyn rasped out," I cannot torture you like this."
Legolas quieted her with a kiss. He brushed her face with the tips of his fingers, and when he did that Anarkyn saw something flash on his hand. She drew it to her and saw the thin silver ring she had given him so long ago still on his finger.
"I never took it off," he said quietly as he watched her.
Tears glistened in Anarkyn's eyes. She pulled out the small, delicate dagger she always carried.
"I've always kept mine as well. It was the closest thing I had to you and I never parted with it. I couldn't," she said softly.
Legolas nearly crushed her in another embrace.
"I love you," Anarkyn whispered, "I never stopped loving you."
"I know," he said, "and that is what kept me alive."
Anarkyn pulled away.
"We can't deal with this now. I am so close to being free, Legolas. If someone destroys that ring I would be free," she trailed off," I'd finally be free."
Legolas studied her, "Our existence stands on the edge of a blade. We are either free or we are dead."
"I never meant to involve you," Anarkyn said with so much guilt Legolas wished he had never made the last statement.
"I involved myself," he said firmly, " and I'd do it again if asked, because I know if I didn't I would never be complete."
Anarkyn stood comfortably against Legolas with him still holding her.
"Has your fighting improved, my prince?" she said with a wicked smile.
"Probably not enough for your liking. You have trained Isildur's heir remarkably well you know. He has become an invaluable friend and ally."
"Most of that is him himself," Anarkyn said rather proudly," he will make an admirable king if he ever sees fit to claim that role."
"He has been my only regular source of information on you for the past years. Yes, I wanted to know how you were, don't act so surprised. I knew I couldn't see you, that would have been too hard on both of us, but I could hear about you," Legolas rested his chin on the top of her head," that was almost as hard."
"That is why I was avoiding you. You know that it is not over yet, these next months and maybe years will have to be devoted to destroying that ring," Anarkyn eyed him," and I cannot be distracted by you nor you by me. So after we leave here I want you to promise me that we will act as no more than comrades in arms until we are finished with that ring."
Legolas let out a slight groan and pulled her as close as possible. He understood, but that didn't make the second parting any easier.
"The moment I find you I still cannot be with you. You have to promise me something in return. When we are done with this you will marry me and be queen. That is all I ask."
Anarkyn paused and let out a shaky breath.
"Legolas...I can't"
Something dawned on Legolas then.
"You are afraid of what the people would think," he said slowly.
"Have you looked at me closely, Legolas?" Anarkyn demanded," are you that blind or that stupid? Could you honestly present me and not have a feeling of embarrassment in the back of your mind? Could you accompany me and not think that you could have done better? Could you wake up every day and not feel ashamed at what I was?"
Legolas closed his eyes in pain at the tirade. It wasn't as if he hadn't expected it eventually. He knew Anarkyn well enough to know that she couldn't let go of years of self-abasement without a fight. He wanted her to believe him so badly though. He grabbed her by the chin and made her face him.
"Look at me! Do you really think I would wait for 2500 years for something I thought I could replace? How big of a fool do you take me for? I love you. I love you how you are. I love your looks, whether you believe that or not. I love your honesty. I love your loyalty. I love your strength. And I mostly love how you filled a piece of me that I didn't even realize I had missing, and now that I know could never go without it. I don't ever want to hear you say I shouldn't be proud of you," he finished fiercely.
Anarkyn watched him with astonishment then wrapped her arms around his neck again.
"If that is how you feel, then yes. I will marry you, my prince."
Legolas felt a greater joy than he had ever known at the utterance of those words. She was his. She had promised. He finally had been promised the one thing I felt he couldn't live without. Her.
"Good. I didn't want to have to carry you off by force," he chuckled.
"And you think you could? I'm offended," Anarkyn laughed.
They stood still, hating to part from each other. Legolas finally broke the silence.
"I didn't realize how much I loved you until I didn't have you," he said finally," why does this have to be so hard?"
"Maybe because we can handle it," Anarkyn said quietly. She pulled away from him and set her face resolutely. Her expression slid back into the mask she always wore for everyone but him.
"You should go," she said coolly.
"You know wherever I do go I leave a piece of myself with you."
"Yes," Anarkyn said as she watched him leave," that's why I have to be so careful."
No one ever reads the author's note anyway, but I still write them. I apologize for the delay, midterms and all I didn't have a lot of time. I write in direct proportion to the amount of good reviews I get so I appreciate them. If you like it, let me know. If you didn't, at least be nice. I try to write to the best of my ability, but occasionally I feel the chapters get a bit plot light and sap heavy if you know what I mean. Make the poor author feel better about her abilities. LOL!
THANKS! ENJOY
Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it puts out the little, it kindles the great.
-Roger DeBussy-Rabutin
In his two days at Rivendell, Legolas still hadn't caught a glimpse of the one person he was looking for. Anarkyn hadn't showed herself to anyone lately as far as he could tell. It was like she had disappeared.
"It hurts to be this near her," he thought," and know I cannot be with her even now. Maybe it is better she not show herself."
Legolas had been in meeting with Elrond. That was unpleasant enough, having to explain the escape of that Gollum creature. And he would have to do it again at the secret meeting in the morrow. Lost in thought he wandered back to the guest quarters.
"If she only knew I consider her the other part of my soul, there would be no doubting about me in her mind," he mused," though that would probably scare her away. Amazing the only thing that woman is afraid of is letting anyone close to her. How she was hurt I do not know, but it was more than anyone deserved."
He had stopped really paying attention to his surroundings when something reached out of the shadows and seized his arm.
Anarkyn drug Legolas back into the darkness of the trees. He stopped and looked at her a moment in shock, then did the first thing that occurred to him he wanted to do. He grabbed her hard by the shoulders and kissed her almost frantically. She twisted her arms around his neck and dug her fingers into his hair.
2500 years of separation cannot be erased in one moment, but the two elves tried. It had been so hard on both of them that the moment seemed surreal. When every fiber of ones being calls out to another with no hope of an answer, the final longed for response is always surprising.
Anarkyn finally pulled out of the kiss and clung to Legolas as if there was some danger of him melting away in front of her. She was weeping softly, something she hadn't done in a millennia or more, and clinging to him like a drowning man to a rope. Legolas stroked her hair and murmured to her in elvish. He realized that he too was crying, tears quietly running down his face. He let out a ragged sigh and held on to Anarkyn as if she were the only thing that stood between him and oblivion.
"You thought I wouldn't come?" he finally whispered to her huskily.
"No, but I almost hoped you wouldn't."
"I never forgot, An. I never forgot. And I waited. It never occurred to me to do otherwise."
"I cannot do this," Anarkyn rasped out," I cannot torture you like this."
Legolas quieted her with a kiss. He brushed her face with the tips of his fingers, and when he did that Anarkyn saw something flash on his hand. She drew it to her and saw the thin silver ring she had given him so long ago still on his finger.
"I never took it off," he said quietly as he watched her.
Tears glistened in Anarkyn's eyes. She pulled out the small, delicate dagger she always carried.
"I've always kept mine as well. It was the closest thing I had to you and I never parted with it. I couldn't," she said softly.
Legolas nearly crushed her in another embrace.
"I love you," Anarkyn whispered, "I never stopped loving you."
"I know," he said, "and that is what kept me alive."
Anarkyn pulled away.
"We can't deal with this now. I am so close to being free, Legolas. If someone destroys that ring I would be free," she trailed off," I'd finally be free."
Legolas studied her, "Our existence stands on the edge of a blade. We are either free or we are dead."
"I never meant to involve you," Anarkyn said with so much guilt Legolas wished he had never made the last statement.
"I involved myself," he said firmly, " and I'd do it again if asked, because I know if I didn't I would never be complete."
Anarkyn stood comfortably against Legolas with him still holding her.
"Has your fighting improved, my prince?" she said with a wicked smile.
"Probably not enough for your liking. You have trained Isildur's heir remarkably well you know. He has become an invaluable friend and ally."
"Most of that is him himself," Anarkyn said rather proudly," he will make an admirable king if he ever sees fit to claim that role."
"He has been my only regular source of information on you for the past years. Yes, I wanted to know how you were, don't act so surprised. I knew I couldn't see you, that would have been too hard on both of us, but I could hear about you," Legolas rested his chin on the top of her head," that was almost as hard."
"That is why I was avoiding you. You know that it is not over yet, these next months and maybe years will have to be devoted to destroying that ring," Anarkyn eyed him," and I cannot be distracted by you nor you by me. So after we leave here I want you to promise me that we will act as no more than comrades in arms until we are finished with that ring."
Legolas let out a slight groan and pulled her as close as possible. He understood, but that didn't make the second parting any easier.
"The moment I find you I still cannot be with you. You have to promise me something in return. When we are done with this you will marry me and be queen. That is all I ask."
Anarkyn paused and let out a shaky breath.
"Legolas...I can't"
Something dawned on Legolas then.
"You are afraid of what the people would think," he said slowly.
"Have you looked at me closely, Legolas?" Anarkyn demanded," are you that blind or that stupid? Could you honestly present me and not have a feeling of embarrassment in the back of your mind? Could you accompany me and not think that you could have done better? Could you wake up every day and not feel ashamed at what I was?"
Legolas closed his eyes in pain at the tirade. It wasn't as if he hadn't expected it eventually. He knew Anarkyn well enough to know that she couldn't let go of years of self-abasement without a fight. He wanted her to believe him so badly though. He grabbed her by the chin and made her face him.
"Look at me! Do you really think I would wait for 2500 years for something I thought I could replace? How big of a fool do you take me for? I love you. I love you how you are. I love your looks, whether you believe that or not. I love your honesty. I love your loyalty. I love your strength. And I mostly love how you filled a piece of me that I didn't even realize I had missing, and now that I know could never go without it. I don't ever want to hear you say I shouldn't be proud of you," he finished fiercely.
Anarkyn watched him with astonishment then wrapped her arms around his neck again.
"If that is how you feel, then yes. I will marry you, my prince."
Legolas felt a greater joy than he had ever known at the utterance of those words. She was his. She had promised. He finally had been promised the one thing I felt he couldn't live without. Her.
"Good. I didn't want to have to carry you off by force," he chuckled.
"And you think you could? I'm offended," Anarkyn laughed.
They stood still, hating to part from each other. Legolas finally broke the silence.
"I didn't realize how much I loved you until I didn't have you," he said finally," why does this have to be so hard?"
"Maybe because we can handle it," Anarkyn said quietly. She pulled away from him and set her face resolutely. Her expression slid back into the mask she always wore for everyone but him.
"You should go," she said coolly.
"You know wherever I do go I leave a piece of myself with you."
"Yes," Anarkyn said as she watched him leave," that's why I have to be so careful."