Standard Disclaimer.
Bitch, bitch, bitch,
Whine, whine, whine,
That's the way we cry about somebody else's work!
(If you've seen "The Wizard of Oz" you know the song parody :))
I always expected to get flames on this work, and I have. This time though the flame(s) are actually very pathetic attempts at best. I stand by my pre-readers declarations that the grammar is set. I will not stop writing this time! As for the humor content, if you're reading this you must have found something funny; the attempt this time isn't a bundle of jokes and funny situations, but a more subtle humor.
Enough ranting on my part, gomen. I still have yet to steal the rights to Eva (and I doubt I will) so don't sue me Gianax, please?
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The Games People Play
Chapter 2- Set-up
Shinji took his seat on the train and opened up his laptop again. 'I wonder if Misato-san knows what Akagi-san did with her likeness.' After a few moments, the PC re-booted again and Shinji found himself actually staring into Misato's…or rather Minato's face.
"Why did you shut me off Shin-chan?" the virtual idol asked with a hint of annoyance.
"You startled me…I never expected you to be so…" he trailed off while looking at the screen.
"Beautiful, charming, irresistible?" Minato asked while creating a mirror to see herself with.
"Alive," he replied to the no-longer paying attention AI interface. Several fellow travelers began staring at the freak boy that is actually talking to his computer, a fewer number began crowding around him.
"WHOW! That thing has a real AI unit in it!" on man exclaimed.
"Take a look at that avatar it has…its HOT!" another more desperate man moaned.
'Oh no, I don't need more attention,' Shinji thought as the group of onlookers began to grow and stare at the virtual Misato on his screen. "Minato I'm going to power you down, ok?"
Using her optic lens to scope out the situation, "Oh you jealous of all the attention I'm getting, and I was about to change my skin too," she cooed.
'She's to much like the real thing for my taste,' his hand pushing the power switch.
"100,000yen for the laptop!" was the opening bid.
"150,000yen!"
"It's not for sale, sorry" he said while cringing at the push of male would be buyers.
The fact he didn't want to sell the laptop was lost on the crowd, (isn't it always?) and the bid continued to rise until his stop. He got off to the cries of about 1,000,000,yen (about $10,000). 'Misato-san would kill me if she learned I sold her to a group of guys, who knows what they'd…do…with it.'
Shinji began the short walk back to his apartment.
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Meanwhile.
Hikari finally caught up to Asuka. Asuka, who finally caught the wet-boy, stood over his cowering form gloating. "Finally got my answer."
"Asuka," Hikari said between her panting, " I…could have…told you that too…if you had waited."
"Sorry, but I wasn't going to let him escape, it was a matter of pride."
'Everything is to you, isn't it,' flashed through Hikari's mind at her friends boast. "Now that we know what he got; what does it mean?"
"I don't know but I intend to find out. What if he's…you know into that type of thing?" Asuka asked her still wheezing friend.
"Not that there is anything wrong with that, if he is."
"You wouldn't be able to date if that's what you're asking."
"Me date him! That's a joke right?" Asuka gushed while her face changed to match her hair.
"Where would he be now? We could just ask him."
"That baka's probably back at the apartment now." She replied while she had already started to head back home.
"Why don't we…" Hikari was cut short as she noticed Asuka had, well Asuka tripped over herself in her hurried state. 'Yeah you don't want to date him.'
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At said apartment. "Misato-san I'm home. Hello?" getting no reply Shinji simple headed to the kitchen.
Misato was sprawled out on the table with a large and empty sake still firmly in her hand.
'It's a typical weekend. There goes asking her about Minato." He eased Misato into a more…well less compromising position on the table and booted up Minato again.
"I'm getting upset with you young man!" the very pissed off and very loud voice of Minato screeched. "Why do you keep shutting me off?!"
"Shssh! Misato-san is sleeping," he begged.
"I will, if you hook me up to your phone line," the virtual interface smirked.
'Now I'm being manipulated by my own computer…maybe I should grow a spine,' he berated himself while plugging the phone line into the modem jack. He dismissed the rather pleasure filled sigh Minato let out when he did plug her in, " Why do you want the phone line?"
Still a bit scrambled from the 'plug-in' Minato spoke in hushed tones "Need…to register on-line, Akagi protocol, you are quite a man Shinji-kun."
'The virtual Misato is just as perverted as the real one, that's one good copy.' He replied to the blushing AI, "Didn't I do the set-up already?"
"You don't understand computers at all, do you? I have to transmit that info to Ritsuko."
Several moments pass and the data transmission bar appeared and disappeared but the dial up connection remained. Noticing this the boy quipped, "Something wrong?"
His answer was…"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! The Yebisu website!!" Minato bellowed as she jacked into the Yebisu data stream.
"She's…getting drunk of digital beer…how will this help me?"
As if the break of copyright wasn't bad enough, the Yebisu chug holler woke the major. "Who's the dead man that woke me from my dream! And who do I get to sue for copyright infringement."
"M-M-Misato-san! I can explain…the…the computer Ritsuko-san gave me ha..had your…" he stammered as the ever approaching Major let out a low growl.
"Let me see that thing!" she replied as she all but tossed Shinji out of her path. She then heard yet another of her patented screams coming from laptop. 'What did that psycho-hose-beast do?'
Seeing her 'mother' figure sobered Minato up a tad, "Hello Major Katsuragi," she said to buy time to disconnect herself from the Yebisu data stream.
"I see," was all Misato said as she ran from the room.
"This isn't going to be good," Shinji spoke after seeing the enraged look on his guardians face.
"Well shall we get started on what you have planned for me Shinji-sama?" Minato asked oblivious to the fact that she…or rather it was the cause of the Major's rage.
"Yeah…sure," that being said, he picked up Minato and started for his room and the game that was beginning to be too much hassle.
He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Misato emerge from her room gun in hand. "THAT BITCH, SHE SAID IT WAS A JOKE. I WILL SO KILL HER!" She popped a fresh clip into her sidearm and left the bewildered Shinji in her wake.
"Should have expected that," both witnesses said in retaliation to the now dust trail that once was Misato.
After the initial shock wore off Shinji remembered what he had hidden in his room and he smiled, 'I'm home alone.' With that thought he fled to his room, pulled out the CD's and set the first in the tray.
"Playing games are we," Minato spoke for the first time since the Major's exit.
"Yeah, you can't tell anybody," he commanded while he navigated the set-up screen and initiated installation.
Now Minato is a computer so 'she' does know what is going on inside her, for the most point, so after the install screen booted up she couldn't remain quiet. "Isn't that cute of you Shin-chan, but don't let this become a habit. Not healthy for young boys like you to…play such games."
" It's not like 'that,' really it isn't," he said distantly as his mind was focused on his task until…
"ERROR…ERROR, failure to install" popped up on the screen.
"Minato, stop playing around!" Shinji said with irritation clearly etched on his face.
Minato's face appeared on the screen blushing, "It's…not my fault I don't know what's wrong."
"How is that possible, you're the computers AI!?!"
"About that…you see I don't really know much about computers."
"Ritsuko chose a very bad model."
"I'll try again ok?" a few minutes later the blue screen of death appeared.
'Great, I know more about computers than my AI support,' he shut down the frazzled AI. He then started to think of somebody that 'could' help him; anybody, then a bird smacked his window signifying his mental breakthrough. "Kensuke."
'How could I be so dense?!' he stopped and decided not to go down that avenue of thought. "Now go get Kensuke to help me." With plan in mind Shinji wrote a short note about where he was going and headed off to the Aida residence.
In typical fashion, five minutes after the third child left the apartment the second child and friend arrived. "Shinji, get out here and explain yourself!"
"Don't you think you're taking this a bit to far?" Hikari squeaked.
"No I need to know what that boy's up to!" came the German's reply. Believing her cause just, that being domination of the third child's attention, Asuka set into search and destroy mode. After checking his room, and remodeling it during the search, she checked Misato's room.
All Hikari heard was a loud THUMP and a string of German swears from her vantage point in the kitchen. 'Whose fault will it be this time?'
"DAMN MISATO'S EMPTY COLLECTION!"
The class-rep nearly nodded at the accusation and spotted the hastily written note on the table, which she promptly read:
{Misato-san
Went to see Kensuke. Having trouble with you-know-what. Be back as soon as it's taken care of.
Shinji
p.s. I'll bring some take out home for supper.}
"Asuka, Shinji's not here. He went to Kensuke's." Hikari informed the now emerging redhead.
"What else does it say, a reason why?" Asuka asked while nursing her bruised behind.
"Something about you-know-what and take out for supper, think he'll bring back enough for me?"
'You've become such a moocher lately,' scowled the 2nd but she replied, "he always does, and I bet it's more than just that Bishonen Yatta cd."
"You think?"
"Maybe, not that there is anything wrong with that, you know where Kensuke lives?" Asuka's goal set.
"Yes, but can't we go shopping instead? I don't really want to chase Shinji-kun all over the city."
"Fine, tell me where he lives and you can stay here or whatever you want, I want answers!" her fist raised in a battle pose, 'and save him from changing his sexual preference, not that anything is wrong with those who do.'
Hikari drew a small map and told her friend how to reach the military otaku's home and like a bolt of red lighting she was off. She rat at speeds that would have made the Flash green with envy.
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At the Geofront security sensors were blaring and nameless techies were in a panic. The security system was loudly declaring that an intruder had entered the compound and was incapacitating any guard that got in its way. Lieutenant Maya Ibuki was at the control panel issuing the orders.
The shy woman having a hard time with her new job, "Section 2 advance to corridor T-3…no S-2 and await engagement."
Makoto wanting to return of silence, and his manga reading, that Maya was interrupting asked, "Maya, shouldn't you tell Akagi to escape?" His hope was that would shut her up but…
"Why, she's with Ayanami in …her..SEMPAI!!"
But it was to late the blip that indicated the intruder had already bypassed.
'Ritsuko, death, kill, beer, dismemberment, Yebisu,' all floated inside the now temporarily insane Major's mind as she tried to open the door to the mad scientists lab. She was about to shoot the lock off when she heard a very soft almost completely monotone voice, and guess whose voice that was.
"Doctor, that will be painful." Voice one said.
To which the doctor replied, "Not like you haven't done this type of thing before."
"That is irrelevant, it will still hurt. It is bare skin."
"Be thankful we don't have an audience today." The firmer voice said.
"Will you take that out of me now?"
'Ritsuko is assaulting Ayanami? Kami-Sama she's lost her mind!' the statement triggering the more…ah-em…hentai regions of Misato's brain. A kick to the door and Misato burst in with sidearm level. " Stop right…now…Rits…"
The scene was not what Misato expected. Instead of a nude Ayanami she found a clothed one, the doctor didn't have some torture device; she had a needle. But did that calm her down? If you think so what are you doing reading this. After her initial shock wore off she remembered why she was here.
"Major Katsuragi, why have you broken the door and intruded upon my physical examination?" Rei asked in that monotone voice we all know so well.
"I…need to talk to our good friend Ritsuko here so could you leave?" the venom rising in her throat.
"Misato, put the gun down," over her cell phone " Stand down security alert."
Rei sensing her job was done here gathered…no wait she never has anything with her…herself and left as quietly as she could, that being under .5 decibels.
"Now why are you here and so…vocal?" Ritsuko asked while sitting down to examine the new test data she just collected, 'this will help phase 2 so well!'
"You put MY mind into one of your damn computers!"
"I told you I was going to, and it's not like I have a lot of choices here."
"Give me one reason I shouldn't shoot you right here for what you did! What if some pervert gets a hold of it"
"One, if you kill me you'll be sent to a maximum security prison and from what I hear they like 'fresh meat.' Secondly, I only had three possible brain wave patterns to choose from yours, the commanders, and Ayanami's." she said rather matter-o-factly.
"Why not use one of the other two!"
"I wanted to make a GOOD AI, if I used the commanders it would do whatever it wanted despite what you told it to do, and Ayanami…it wouldn't question the owner at all, just hai, hai, hai all the time. You are at least in charge of NERV tactical and should be of some, if only minor, help."
The time bomb that was Misato was now defused. The simple and very minor compliment worked. "You think I'm better than the commander?"
Smiling to herself, and at her friends naiveté "Sure Misato, since you're here I want to show you some pictures and ask your opinion." The major sat down and was shown Ritsuko's secret project and helped out with what she could.
"We should get Shinji to help with this, I bet he'd love it."
"You think so?" Ritsuko asked dubiously.
"Trust me, if you saw the game he brought home today you'd understand," she smiled her 'I'm going to tease Shinji into the ground' smile and continued working.
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"Remember you have to make me a copy of that AI unit Shinji, you promised!" Kensuke all but begged.
"If I can I will, thanks for helping me set the game up too," Shinji sang out with joy 'It works it works!'
"You have odd taste in games. Want one of mine?" he said offering out another cd-rom.
"What is it?"
"You'll like it," he said while tossing Shinji the game.
"Viper collection*, some sort of action game?" the gullible pilot asked. (see notes)
"Something like that, but I need to go Shinji. I've started a guerilla warfare club and we have a meeting in the woods outside the city."
'Explains the camouflage he's wearing,' sweat dropping " you still do that stuff huh?"
Putting on his 'war paint' and pulling out his new paint gun, "I will not lose, I will train my troops!"
"Yeah…you do that" Shinji spoke while inching himself away from the freak in the camo that was hunched over looking at the people on the street.
"They're all against me Shinji, you see it don't you! That's why they don't make me a pilot!"
'No, it's because you're losing your mind.' Closing his laptop, "Well better go train your men; before they attack you, bye."
Shinji took off like a bat out of hell, and the reason is two-fold. Reason one Kensuke really freaked him out…I mean wouldn't you be if somebody just started aiming a paint gun at everybody and talking like Fox Mulder. The second reason…he could play…and play he would, 'Should I try that Viper game first?'
After getting the food and returning home, Shinji found his home vacant yet again. 'I'll put their food in the fridge…now to go play.' With a smile that would make anybody suspicious, a good thing for the vacant home, he retired to his room and thanks to Asuka's demand, locked his door.
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Back at the Aida residence.
"What do you mean he went out into the woods with a bunch of guys?" Asuka asked with a tinge of wonder in her voice.
Mr. Aida, not having dealt with Asuka before, answered, "I told you all I know, so stop bothering me, it's been 20 minutes."
"I want more answers! Where in the woods, who was with him, was Shinji over?"
"Damn it girl, yes yes that boy Shinji was here right before my son left, will you take the knife away from my cats neck now?"
Asuka released her hold of the Aida pet cat, "Thank you."
The thankful man watched as the red haired girl left his home, ' I feel sorry for that boy she's looking for…his girlfriend is very scary.'
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End chapter 2
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Time for questions
Why did Mr. Aida think Asuka was Shinji's girlfriend?
What will happen when Asuka finds Kensuke? Shinji?
What game is he playing?
What will happen when he plays the new game?
What IS Ritsuko's problem?
What is she doing now?
Why is Misato so eager to help her now?
Will I ever really have Rei do something?
Will I write another chapter?
Will I get flamed again…wait that one is obvious:
And finally why is Hikari so OCC in this fic?
Those questions and more will be answered IF I write another chapter
See you next time same Eva Time Same Eva Channel!
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Author notes
First off Viper is the company name of a hentai game company (I think) so the game Kensuke gave to Shinji is really naughty.
For those who don't know Bishonen Yatta loosely translates to "beautiful boy hurray"
The Misato AI, Its basically a living Misato on the pc, and well would you want Misato doing trouble shooting on your pc?
I'm not trying to bash Asuka or Rei either. I'm trying to have Asuka acting protective of Shinji, as she kinda does I the show. And Rei…well I'm keeping her in character.
Idea's and comments are welcome.
Sorry the grammar is poor and for the few spelling mistakes. It's just I've been over taxing my pre-readers with multiple mst's to check and now I'm springing this on them, so please don't Ream on me for those to harshly.
Ja-mata
Zentrodie (zentrodie@secondimpact.com