A Second Chance At Love
Chapter 4: The Kiss Meant Nothing
By: Minako-chan
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer: As much as I'd like to say Sailor Moon belongs to me,
it doesn't. *shoulders sagging*
Author's Notes: Just a fic inspired by a short Chinese series.
E-mail me! cupid_teacup@hotmail.com ^_^
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 4: The Kiss Meant Nothing
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Usagi tossed and turned, knocking her stuffed animals off the
bed, along with a pillow.
"Damnit, Mamoru." She cursed as she glanced out to see the dark
sky. The moon was covered by a heavy black cloud. Somewhere out
there, Usagi knew, Mamoru was probably strolling through a park
by himself. She knew it was what he liked to do whenever he was...
Whenever he was feeling what she was feeling now.
Confused, hurt, angry, depressed, to name a few. She did not
know which she was feeling the most.
She could hear the slamming of the car door on her driveway.
Her family was back, laughing loudly as they entered the house.
Something about Shingo, her brother, being set up by a family
friend with a girl who was six years older than him.
"Ugh! I can't believe they did that!" Shingo's deep voice echoed
through the empty halls. Usagi smiled. How fast had time passed.
Shingo was well into highschool, and puberty did the best for him.
He was tall, muscular, popular in his school. The boyish smile
never left his face. The sandy brown hair and those soft, brown
eyes...
Usagi winced at the image. She loved her brother dearly, but
lately she had tried her best to avoid him.
'Usagi-chan, why do you keep shutting me out?' Shingo had said
just earlier in the day. 'It's as if I---'
He never finished his sentence. Usagi had closed the door, leaning
against it as she slid down to the floor, still seeing Shingo's
pained features.
The truth was, how could she look at him again when he alone
reminded of Motoki the most? He was an exact replica of Motoki's
younger self, when Motoki used to work at the arcade.
"Shh, Shingo, it's late. Usagi's sleeping. She needs her rest."
Usagi heard her mother say downstairs.
"Maybe I should talk louder then." Usagi heard Shingo retort as he
made his way up the stairs and walked pass her room. "And maybe she
would come out of her room for once and yell at me, like she used
to."
Shingo sobbed but quickly walked into the room and closed the door
softly.
Usagi had heard.
Her mother sighed and the next thing Usagi heard before she drifted
between sleep and consciousness was soft comforting words from her
father.
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"Usagi-chan?" The cheerful voice of Minako spoke on the other
line.
"Hai, Minako-chan. It's me." Usagi smiled. After all, it had
been a while since she talked to the girls. They had kept their
distance, knowing that if Usagi needed them, she would go to
them, otherwise she would want to be left alone.
"I'm so glad you called. The girls are here at my place! We
are just doing the usual - you know, chatting about everything
and anything at all."
Minako paused.
"God, Usagi-chan, we missed you." Her voice sounded muffled.
Then Usagi heard some struggling in the background.
"GIMME IT!" Rei's fiery tone echoed.
"NO! She called ME!" Minako squealed. "Obviously she wants
to talk to me!"
"Well, I'm sure she called the temple first and was told by
Gramps that we're here!" Rei spat and then grabbed the phone.
"Usagi-chan!" She gushed. "How are you?"
"I'm fine, Rei." Usagi laughed.
"We have so much catching up to do, don't we, Usagi-chan? We
should definitely get together." Rei smiled, hearing Usagi's
laughter for the first time in two months.
Usagi heard more fighting in the background.
"Definitely, Usagi-chan. I've wanted to see you for so long,
but, I just didn't know if you could..." Makoto's sentence was
cut off by a loud 'yeow', obviously from being elbowed or
punched by Rei.
Usagi smiled. How she had missed the girls. Why she did not
choose to talk to them still remained a mystery. Perhaps she
really needed to be alone. To put the past behind her, to do
this task by herself.
"Usagi-chan, how about we meet in half an hour at the park?"
Ami said quietly, covering the speaker from the fights in the
background.
Usagi glanced at the clock on the wall. "Sure thing, Ami-chan,
tell minna I'm ready."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mamoru sat down on the bench, watching the children throw a
frisbee back and forth, a puppy in between, running for the
bright yellow disc.
A couple rollerbladed hand in hand toward the ice cream
stand, and another sitting together under a tree.
He stared at his hands, his trembling hands. They had not
stopped trembling ever since the day...
Mamoru winced. Ever since the day when he stupidly decided
to kiss Usagi. Usako.
And then, she avoided him for a whole month. She ignored
his calls, she avoided the paths that he normally took, and
somehow, she quitted teaching at the local primary school.
He had tried calling her family, and apparently they did not
seem to know what happened, and only told him that Usagi
wanted to be left alone, though they admitted they could not
understand why Usagi would want to withdraw from Mamoru.
But perhaps, Usagi's mother suggested, that seeing him might
bring back too much memories of Motoki because after all,
Mamoru was Motoki's best friend.
Familiar voices interrupted Mamoru's thoughts. His eyes
widened when he listened to their conversation.
"I CANNOT BELIEVE Usagi-chan's finally opening up again! I
was so ecstatic when she called! Oh gosh, us five haven't been
together for two months, can you believe it?" Minako's voice
chirped.
"Just be careful of what we say. Two months aren't exactly
long enough to get over pain like this. But it's a step,
after all." Ami added thoughtfully.
"Yeah, Mako-chan, what were you thinking? If I hadn't slammed
my fist into your stomach you woulda brought up those memories
again..." Rei sighed. "Usagi-chan is so strong. I don't think
-I- would be able to start over in two months' time. Poor
Usagi-chan."
Mamoru's heart began to beat wildly against his chest as his
palms became sweaty with nervousness. Usagi was going to meet
the rest of the girls right where he was. Would she see him?
And if she did see him, would she avoid him?
"Yeah, poor Usagi-chan. Her mother told me that she has been
refusing to see anyone for the past two months." Ami stated
and began to pace in front of the other three girls.
"But I thought she told us that Usagi went to visit Mamoru-kun?
To give back a box, Mrs. Tsukino said." Makoto questioned.
"Speaking of Mamoru-kun, has anyone seen him? I haven't heard
from him...which is strange, because he's been away the same
time Usagi-chan decided to be alone..." Minako said seriously.
"No, I haven't seen Mamoru at all. But then again, none of us
would have gone back to the arcade, ne? I don't think any
of us would go back there, not after ---" Rei paused when
she heard footsteps approaching.
Mamoru thought he would stop breathing. He could feel her
presence.
"Ohayo, minna." Usagi's voice greeted.
Mamoru swallowed hard and closed his eyes. How he had missed
this voice.
"Ohayo, Usagi-chan!" Four cheerful voices chirped. Mamoru could
feel Usagi smiling even though his back was turned toward her.
"Alright!" Mako shouted. "The gang is together again!"
Usagi chuckled lightly and Rei joined in. Mamoru heard a loud
'slap' and knew that Rei had wrapped an arm around Usagi's
petite shoulders a bit -too- violently.
"And you know who we should get to complete the gang? Mamoru!" Rei
laughed. Mamoru smiled inwardly, wanting to reward the fiery
priestess with a warm hug.
Usagi's chuckling ceased.
"What's wrong, Usagi-chan?" Ami asked. Mamoru sat up unconsciously,
wanting to hear Usagi, feeling that she would tell the girls what
happened, and he would lose the rest of the girls as well.
"Nothing, minna, nothing." Usagi mumbled.
The four girls sucked in their breaths and held it as they looked
at each other, worried.
"Well, then, what are we waiting for?" Minako squealed, trying to
break the uncomfortable silence, "Let's go shopping!"
She paused. "Hmm...girls?"
"You know what? I will catch you guys later at the mall, I just
want to have a short walk first, okay, minna?" Usagi asked weakily,
hoping that they would not question her.
The girls exchanged worried glances again.
"Okay, Usagi-chan, we'll be in the food court, okay? We still have
to grab lunch together." Makoto smiled. "Let's go, girls!"
Smiling, Usagi was grateful that her friends were so understanding.
As she turned around, she saw a dark figure occupying the bench that
she normally sat when she wanted to think, the bench which faced a
small fountain.
"Kami..." Usagi brought a hand to her mouth, but not before letting
the soft gasp escape.
At the same moment, Mamoru stood up slowly and turned around to
face her.
'She can't hide from me forever, might as well get this over with.'
Mamoru thought, cringing at the possibility that she would run away
right at that moment.
A breeze blew in the air, making their hair dance. Mamoru gazed at
Usagi with affection while Usagi managed to avoid eye contact,
staring at a spot above his head.
"Usagi-chan, it's good to see you." Mamoru cleared his throat and
said hoarsely.
"It's good to see you too, Mamoru-san." Usagi replied politely.
Another moment of awkward silence. Usagi drew in a deep breath
and clutched at her chest, biting her lip nervously, not knowing
what to say.
"Usagi, about what happened..." Mamoru took a deep breath as well
and began.
Usagi swallowed and looked into his eyes. Her heart wrenched with
misery when she saw the sincerity and pain in those two pools of
dark blue. Giving him an encouraging smile, she hoped that he would
tell her what she wanted to hear.
"I can explain..." He continued and looked down at the ground in
shame.
Seeing that he regretted his actions, Usagi walked toward him and
took hold of his hands which were trembling and fidgeting.
The simple touch made what Mamoru was about to say so much more
difficult.
"Then, Mamoru-san, please explain..." Usagi whispered and furrowed
her brows as she continued to study his bent head, not wanting to
lose the friendship she had with him.
"I...I miss Motoki, as much as you do, Usagi-chan...and, that night,
I was just...I just really, really missed my best friend..." He
choked on his words.
"I understand, Mamoru-san..." Usagi said, urging him to go on.
"And I was just weak at the moment, and you offered me comfort..."
Mamoru bit his lip hardly, continuing to avoid looking into her eyes,
knowing he could never continue lying to her if he looked into those
two blue crystals.
Usagi released a soft sigh of relief, not meant to be heard, but
Mamoru heard it nonetheless, breaking his heart into a million pieces.
He took another deep breath, realizing what he was about to say would
be the only thing that could get Usagi's friendship and trust again.
And so, he would tell her the biggest lie he could ever tell in his
life.
"The kiss meant nothing, Usagi-chan."
When he heard no reply, he looked up into Usagi's blue eyes.
'Forgive me, God, for lying.' He thought.
What he did not expect, though he had always known she was forgiving,
was a bear hug from Usagi.
"I'm so glad to hear that, Mamoru-san!" She said, her voice muffled
when she buried her face into his chest, wrapping her arms around
his waist.
Mamoru hesitated, but slowly he brought his hand lovingly to pat her
head gently, noticing for the first time since Usagi had last visited
his apartment, that his hands had stopped trembling. But his heart
seemed to have stopped beating the moment those words came out of his
mouth.
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TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 5: Couldn't They?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 4: The Kiss Meant Nothing
By: Minako-chan
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer: As much as I'd like to say Sailor Moon belongs to me,
it doesn't. *shoulders sagging*
Author's Notes: Just a fic inspired by a short Chinese series.
E-mail me! cupid_teacup@hotmail.com ^_^
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 4: The Kiss Meant Nothing
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Usagi tossed and turned, knocking her stuffed animals off the
bed, along with a pillow.
"Damnit, Mamoru." She cursed as she glanced out to see the dark
sky. The moon was covered by a heavy black cloud. Somewhere out
there, Usagi knew, Mamoru was probably strolling through a park
by himself. She knew it was what he liked to do whenever he was...
Whenever he was feeling what she was feeling now.
Confused, hurt, angry, depressed, to name a few. She did not
know which she was feeling the most.
She could hear the slamming of the car door on her driveway.
Her family was back, laughing loudly as they entered the house.
Something about Shingo, her brother, being set up by a family
friend with a girl who was six years older than him.
"Ugh! I can't believe they did that!" Shingo's deep voice echoed
through the empty halls. Usagi smiled. How fast had time passed.
Shingo was well into highschool, and puberty did the best for him.
He was tall, muscular, popular in his school. The boyish smile
never left his face. The sandy brown hair and those soft, brown
eyes...
Usagi winced at the image. She loved her brother dearly, but
lately she had tried her best to avoid him.
'Usagi-chan, why do you keep shutting me out?' Shingo had said
just earlier in the day. 'It's as if I---'
He never finished his sentence. Usagi had closed the door, leaning
against it as she slid down to the floor, still seeing Shingo's
pained features.
The truth was, how could she look at him again when he alone
reminded of Motoki the most? He was an exact replica of Motoki's
younger self, when Motoki used to work at the arcade.
"Shh, Shingo, it's late. Usagi's sleeping. She needs her rest."
Usagi heard her mother say downstairs.
"Maybe I should talk louder then." Usagi heard Shingo retort as he
made his way up the stairs and walked pass her room. "And maybe she
would come out of her room for once and yell at me, like she used
to."
Shingo sobbed but quickly walked into the room and closed the door
softly.
Usagi had heard.
Her mother sighed and the next thing Usagi heard before she drifted
between sleep and consciousness was soft comforting words from her
father.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Usagi-chan?" The cheerful voice of Minako spoke on the other
line.
"Hai, Minako-chan. It's me." Usagi smiled. After all, it had
been a while since she talked to the girls. They had kept their
distance, knowing that if Usagi needed them, she would go to
them, otherwise she would want to be left alone.
"I'm so glad you called. The girls are here at my place! We
are just doing the usual - you know, chatting about everything
and anything at all."
Minako paused.
"God, Usagi-chan, we missed you." Her voice sounded muffled.
Then Usagi heard some struggling in the background.
"GIMME IT!" Rei's fiery tone echoed.
"NO! She called ME!" Minako squealed. "Obviously she wants
to talk to me!"
"Well, I'm sure she called the temple first and was told by
Gramps that we're here!" Rei spat and then grabbed the phone.
"Usagi-chan!" She gushed. "How are you?"
"I'm fine, Rei." Usagi laughed.
"We have so much catching up to do, don't we, Usagi-chan? We
should definitely get together." Rei smiled, hearing Usagi's
laughter for the first time in two months.
Usagi heard more fighting in the background.
"Definitely, Usagi-chan. I've wanted to see you for so long,
but, I just didn't know if you could..." Makoto's sentence was
cut off by a loud 'yeow', obviously from being elbowed or
punched by Rei.
Usagi smiled. How she had missed the girls. Why she did not
choose to talk to them still remained a mystery. Perhaps she
really needed to be alone. To put the past behind her, to do
this task by herself.
"Usagi-chan, how about we meet in half an hour at the park?"
Ami said quietly, covering the speaker from the fights in the
background.
Usagi glanced at the clock on the wall. "Sure thing, Ami-chan,
tell minna I'm ready."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mamoru sat down on the bench, watching the children throw a
frisbee back and forth, a puppy in between, running for the
bright yellow disc.
A couple rollerbladed hand in hand toward the ice cream
stand, and another sitting together under a tree.
He stared at his hands, his trembling hands. They had not
stopped trembling ever since the day...
Mamoru winced. Ever since the day when he stupidly decided
to kiss Usagi. Usako.
And then, she avoided him for a whole month. She ignored
his calls, she avoided the paths that he normally took, and
somehow, she quitted teaching at the local primary school.
He had tried calling her family, and apparently they did not
seem to know what happened, and only told him that Usagi
wanted to be left alone, though they admitted they could not
understand why Usagi would want to withdraw from Mamoru.
But perhaps, Usagi's mother suggested, that seeing him might
bring back too much memories of Motoki because after all,
Mamoru was Motoki's best friend.
Familiar voices interrupted Mamoru's thoughts. His eyes
widened when he listened to their conversation.
"I CANNOT BELIEVE Usagi-chan's finally opening up again! I
was so ecstatic when she called! Oh gosh, us five haven't been
together for two months, can you believe it?" Minako's voice
chirped.
"Just be careful of what we say. Two months aren't exactly
long enough to get over pain like this. But it's a step,
after all." Ami added thoughtfully.
"Yeah, Mako-chan, what were you thinking? If I hadn't slammed
my fist into your stomach you woulda brought up those memories
again..." Rei sighed. "Usagi-chan is so strong. I don't think
-I- would be able to start over in two months' time. Poor
Usagi-chan."
Mamoru's heart began to beat wildly against his chest as his
palms became sweaty with nervousness. Usagi was going to meet
the rest of the girls right where he was. Would she see him?
And if she did see him, would she avoid him?
"Yeah, poor Usagi-chan. Her mother told me that she has been
refusing to see anyone for the past two months." Ami stated
and began to pace in front of the other three girls.
"But I thought she told us that Usagi went to visit Mamoru-kun?
To give back a box, Mrs. Tsukino said." Makoto questioned.
"Speaking of Mamoru-kun, has anyone seen him? I haven't heard
from him...which is strange, because he's been away the same
time Usagi-chan decided to be alone..." Minako said seriously.
"No, I haven't seen Mamoru at all. But then again, none of us
would have gone back to the arcade, ne? I don't think any
of us would go back there, not after ---" Rei paused when
she heard footsteps approaching.
Mamoru thought he would stop breathing. He could feel her
presence.
"Ohayo, minna." Usagi's voice greeted.
Mamoru swallowed hard and closed his eyes. How he had missed
this voice.
"Ohayo, Usagi-chan!" Four cheerful voices chirped. Mamoru could
feel Usagi smiling even though his back was turned toward her.
"Alright!" Mako shouted. "The gang is together again!"
Usagi chuckled lightly and Rei joined in. Mamoru heard a loud
'slap' and knew that Rei had wrapped an arm around Usagi's
petite shoulders a bit -too- violently.
"And you know who we should get to complete the gang? Mamoru!" Rei
laughed. Mamoru smiled inwardly, wanting to reward the fiery
priestess with a warm hug.
Usagi's chuckling ceased.
"What's wrong, Usagi-chan?" Ami asked. Mamoru sat up unconsciously,
wanting to hear Usagi, feeling that she would tell the girls what
happened, and he would lose the rest of the girls as well.
"Nothing, minna, nothing." Usagi mumbled.
The four girls sucked in their breaths and held it as they looked
at each other, worried.
"Well, then, what are we waiting for?" Minako squealed, trying to
break the uncomfortable silence, "Let's go shopping!"
She paused. "Hmm...girls?"
"You know what? I will catch you guys later at the mall, I just
want to have a short walk first, okay, minna?" Usagi asked weakily,
hoping that they would not question her.
The girls exchanged worried glances again.
"Okay, Usagi-chan, we'll be in the food court, okay? We still have
to grab lunch together." Makoto smiled. "Let's go, girls!"
Smiling, Usagi was grateful that her friends were so understanding.
As she turned around, she saw a dark figure occupying the bench that
she normally sat when she wanted to think, the bench which faced a
small fountain.
"Kami..." Usagi brought a hand to her mouth, but not before letting
the soft gasp escape.
At the same moment, Mamoru stood up slowly and turned around to
face her.
'She can't hide from me forever, might as well get this over with.'
Mamoru thought, cringing at the possibility that she would run away
right at that moment.
A breeze blew in the air, making their hair dance. Mamoru gazed at
Usagi with affection while Usagi managed to avoid eye contact,
staring at a spot above his head.
"Usagi-chan, it's good to see you." Mamoru cleared his throat and
said hoarsely.
"It's good to see you too, Mamoru-san." Usagi replied politely.
Another moment of awkward silence. Usagi drew in a deep breath
and clutched at her chest, biting her lip nervously, not knowing
what to say.
"Usagi, about what happened..." Mamoru took a deep breath as well
and began.
Usagi swallowed and looked into his eyes. Her heart wrenched with
misery when she saw the sincerity and pain in those two pools of
dark blue. Giving him an encouraging smile, she hoped that he would
tell her what she wanted to hear.
"I can explain..." He continued and looked down at the ground in
shame.
Seeing that he regretted his actions, Usagi walked toward him and
took hold of his hands which were trembling and fidgeting.
The simple touch made what Mamoru was about to say so much more
difficult.
"Then, Mamoru-san, please explain..." Usagi whispered and furrowed
her brows as she continued to study his bent head, not wanting to
lose the friendship she had with him.
"I...I miss Motoki, as much as you do, Usagi-chan...and, that night,
I was just...I just really, really missed my best friend..." He
choked on his words.
"I understand, Mamoru-san..." Usagi said, urging him to go on.
"And I was just weak at the moment, and you offered me comfort..."
Mamoru bit his lip hardly, continuing to avoid looking into her eyes,
knowing he could never continue lying to her if he looked into those
two blue crystals.
Usagi released a soft sigh of relief, not meant to be heard, but
Mamoru heard it nonetheless, breaking his heart into a million pieces.
He took another deep breath, realizing what he was about to say would
be the only thing that could get Usagi's friendship and trust again.
And so, he would tell her the biggest lie he could ever tell in his
life.
"The kiss meant nothing, Usagi-chan."
When he heard no reply, he looked up into Usagi's blue eyes.
'Forgive me, God, for lying.' He thought.
What he did not expect, though he had always known she was forgiving,
was a bear hug from Usagi.
"I'm so glad to hear that, Mamoru-san!" She said, her voice muffled
when she buried her face into his chest, wrapping her arms around
his waist.
Mamoru hesitated, but slowly he brought his hand lovingly to pat her
head gently, noticing for the first time since Usagi had last visited
his apartment, that his hands had stopped trembling. But his heart
seemed to have stopped beating the moment those words came out of his
mouth.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 5: Couldn't They?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------