Road Trip…of DOOM
An Invader Zim Fanfiction by KidKourage
Part 2—Hot on the TrailOkay, okay, so I'm naming the chapters after movies. I'm unoriginal and pathetic…soooooy un perdedooor—I'm a loser, baby, so why don'tcha kill me? Just try it! I've got my laser to protect me! Ha, now I am off-topic! Yay! Anyway, that first chap was entirely made up of tiny little discussions I'd had floating around in my head and that desperately needed extrication. That's why it ended up so long. Don't worry, now that we've arrived at the Lakota Preserve, I'm gonna actually focus on what this story was supposed to be about in the first place. I just felt the urge to make a 'road trip' story, since all the best conversations happen in cars (and Burger King, but that's coming later). Hiking is fuuuuuun…have you bought me those presents yet? Huh?! I demand tribute! No…no I don't.
The scene is the wonderful Lakota Wolf Preserve! Well, the Camp Taylor Campground, anyway. Before you can actually go to the preserve, you've gotta sign in and get your hand stamped at the Campground general store. Which is full of gift shop-type stuff. Breakable-type stuff. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to bring Gir in here.
Gir: The door jingles! Jingle door, jingle door, jingle all the waaaaaay!
Mike-the-Brother: It's not the door, stupid, it's the bell above the door.
Zim: Do not call my robot slave stupid, Mike-filth! You are stupid!
Mike-the-Brother: You're stupid, stupid-head!
Gaz: You're both stupid. Now shut up!
'Nny (lagging behind): Ah, yes. The start of a very fun adventure…why did I agree to this torture, anyway?
KidK: Because you're such a nice person whom I can count on to help me. Don't let them get to you—under all the arguing, they're really sweet.
'Nny: If you say so. Really, it's all I can do to keep myself from doing unpleasant things to some of these people…but I won't, because you love them.
KidK: That I do. And I love you just as much. Come on, now, let's go pay up our shares of the entrance fee before Dad freaks on us.
KidK links arms with a totally stunned Johnny and pulls him over to the counter, where her Dad is indeed waiting impatiently.
KidK's Dad: Finally! I thought you were going to skip out on your shares and leave me to pay the monumental cost by myself!
KidK: Monumental my butt. What's the damage?
KidK's Dad: I haven't even asked yet. I wanted you to be here to catch me when I have a heart attack.
KidK's Mom: Oh, honey, don't say things like that!
Shop Worker Joel: Are you all here for the 10:30 Wolf Watch?
Gir (dropping from the ceiling onto Joel): I'm gonna sing with the wolves! Wooooooooooooooooooooo!
Squee: Eeeeeeeek!
Shop Worker Joel: Sweet jumpin' jellybean! What the [censored] is this thing?
KidK's Mom: Hey, you, don't talk like that in front of my kids!
Shop Worker Joel (sheepishly—Mom can be scary too): Sorry. But, you know, day visitors aren't allowed to bring pets.
Zim: Fool! This is not a pet! It's…(he realizes he's giving away 'secrets')…it's not a deadly robot slave either! It's my special virtual pet that has…amazing artificial intelligence!
Dib: Very artificial.
Zim: Yes! Gir is so amazing that its intelligence is as artificial as that of the Dib-monkey here!
Shop Worker Joel (raising an eyebrow): O…kayyyy…so, since it's a robot or whatever I guess it doesn't count as a guest.
KidK: Yay! Less payment for meeee!
Shop Worker Joel: Riiiiight…can you get it off my head now?
Gir: I'm the king of head mountain! (he is distracted by something else) Oooo, look! Magnets! (he jumps off Joel and races off to the display)
KidK: Dib, stop him from breaking things!
Dib: *sigh* I'll do my best. But if that thing bites me I'm holding Zim responsible for my medical bills.
Zim: Gir does not bite disgusting monkey worms.
Dib: Ohhhhh, so that's why he hasn't ever bitten you!
Squee: Gir bites?
Gir (off in the background): Whee! Merry-go-round! I'm spinnin'!
Dib: Girgetoffthatdisplay! (there is a loud crash) Oh, well, I'll go clean that up, I suppose.
KidK: Thanks, Dibby. ^_^ (to Joel) So, how much do we owe, ya, Mister Joel Person?
Shop Worker Joel: Well, it all depends on how old you all are. The fee for people under twelve is five dollars, and for people over twelve is fifteen. Also, we like to ask people their ages so we can find out what our established 'audience' is and who we need to target more to advertise for our educational programs. So just go around and tell me how old you are. You first, sir.
KidK's Dad: Forty seven.
KidK's Mom: A lady doesn't tell her age, so let's just say that I can legally gamble and drink if I feel like it.
KidK's Dad: Though doing it legally takes all the fun out of it.
KidK: Ha ha, very funny, Dad. I'm 18.
Mike-the-Brother (too brightly): I'm 15 and in the ninth grade!
Gaz: Mike, quit impersonating anime skoolgirls. Didn't you get enough of that after you ordered KidK to make you a superhero?
Mike-the-Brother: Hmf. Not even as though she gave me the right hat… (note: semi-inside joke)
Shop Worker Joel: And how old are you, little girl?
Gaz: Eleven. And if you call me 'little girl' again I'll feed your guts to the bears.
Shop Worker Joel: Ahahaha…and how about you? (he points at Zim)
Zim: Me?
KidK: Yeah, I've been wondering about that myself…
Zim (looking nervous): I am…I too am eleven! Yes! Only charge KidK five dollars for my entry, for I am not yet twelve!
Mike-the-Brother: Hey, no way are you eleven, Zim! You always go around saying how you're 'not a minor' and whatnot, so why would you—ow!
Zim: Oh, I'm so sorry, Mike-pig! My foot must've slipped into your freakishly thin leg stick! (he smiles 'innocently' at the wide-eyed Joel) No, do not believe the noise of this stink beast…he only serves to pollute the air with his foul emissions. I am indeed eleven.
Dib: You're just trying to cover for your alien identity, Zim! You're probably like a thousand years old or something!
Zim: Listen to the poor crazy child! He believes I am an alien!
Shop Worker Joel: Well, that's impossible, so I guess I can believe you that you're eleven.
Zim: Thank you, Joel. Your cooperation will be remembered favorably.
KidK: Dib, where's Gir?
Dib: He got himself stuck in a t-shirt.
Gaz: Heh. Just like you always do when you try to fit that head of yours through the collar.
Mike-the-Brother: Yeah, why is your head so big, Dib?
KidK: Shut up, Mike. Why are your feet so big?
Mike-the-Brother (hanging his head in shame): I dunno…
Dib: I'm twelve, by the way. (there is another crash) But my hair's gonna go gray if I have to watch that stupid robot much longer! (he runs off to save the store from destruction)
KidK: Which just leaves Squee and 'Nny.
Squee: I'm ten…
Gaz: You are? Aren't you in the same grade as me? In the other section, right?
Squee: Yeah, but…I kinda got moved ahead a year cuz the counselors said I was advanced in reading and cuz they told my dad that that'd mean I'd finish skool a year earlier and could get a job and move out sooner.
KidK: Wow, Todd! You're really smart! I'll bet you'll get to make a speech at a graduation someday, huh?
Squee (blush!): Maybe…
KidK: Make sure you invite me, OK?
Squee: …OK!
'Nny: Me too, Squeegee. I'll be so proud.
Squee: Um…okay…
'Nny: Well, there's just me left now. I think I'm twenty-four now…yeah, I think that's probably right. S'hard to keep track of temporal things when you have no idea how long you were dead. Not to mention how many millions of years you've spent sleeping.
Mike-the-Brother: Twenty-four, eh? I knew my sister liked older men! You're six whole years older than her!
'Nny: Actually, I'm…five years, ten months, and twenty days older.
Mike-the-Brother: O_O
KidK: Hmmm…lemme figure it out then. Math can be fun! Do the subtraction…your birthday is a month and ten days after mine…and mine is May 27…so that's June 27 plus ten…wait. You'll be twenty-five this year?
'Nny: …yes. Assuming that the time-space continuum isn't ruptured, which isn't always a guaranteed thing.
KidK: So that would make your official date of birth…geez. That's cool, 'Nny-kun!
'Nny: People always used to think I was joking when I wrote it on skool forms and such. They were sorry, later. (note: you are all smart people…figure it out! Well…I'll put it at the end of the chapter, 'k?)
KidK: So that's all of us. What's the fee?
Shop Worker Joel: That's three under-twelves and six twelve-and-overs, so…a hundred and five dollars.
KidK's Dad: Ugh…how much of that is mine?
KidK: Sixty. And I've got the rest.
'Nny: But—
KidK: I forgot how cheap it is for kids, and since Gir's a free ride…don't worry 'bout it.
'Nny: …………I buy lunch then.
KidK's Dad: Deal!
Shop Worker Joel: Now you've just gotta get your hands stamped and you'll be all set for the Wolf Watch. (he begins stamping hands while reciting the required mantra) Now, the actual preserve is just a .9-mile hike from here. You go out, behind the store and follow the trail, which is marked by signs with wolf pawprints on them. If you'd like to skip the hike, you can wait until 10:20 for the van ride up.
Mike-the-Brother: Naw, we're not wusses! We're gonna hike!
KidK: I just had one last question—I sponsored a wolf the last time my family came here, and I brought this here giant Milkbone for her. Do you think it'd be OK if I gave it to the tour guide man to give her? You guys feed the wolves dog snacks as treats anyway, so it should be okay…right?
Shop Worker Joel: Don't see why not. Which wolf did you sponsor?
KidK: Silver! She's so pretty, and she has the same name as my favorite character from 'Julie of the Wolves.'
Shop Worker Joel: Yeah, Silver's a sweet wolf. I hope you all have fun today. Enjoy your stay!
After some hasty cleanup work from Gir's misbehaving, the gang exits the store and begins the hike up to the preserve. It's not really all that bad. If you go in summer, you'll get a little more overheated, but in winter what you've really got to watch out for is…
Mike-the-Brother: Snow!
Gir: Woo! Let's have a snowball fight, Squeezy!
Squee: Heehee! I'll get you, Gir! (Awwww! ^.^)
Zim: Dear Tallest, no! How can there be snow here? There was none at home!
KidK: Well, this is North Jersey…I guess it's colder here than it is where we live. It's not that deep, and it looks like they've mostly cleared it off the trail.
Zim: It is a very good thing that I've been bathing in paste every day since our last unfortunate experience with the evil fluff water, or I would be forced to allow one of you human filth beasts to carry me.
Dib: Like anyone would want to.
Zim: You should all feel honored that I would even consider it!
KidK: Just be careful, okay Zimmy? The trail's kinda steep in places and I don't want you getting hurt.
Mike-the-Brother (menacingly): Yeah, don't have any unfortunate accidents and fall into the drifts, Zim. It'd be a shame if you got all burny, especially since that would impair your ability to kick people.
Zim: Are you threatening me? Because if you are, I—
KidK: Duck!
Zim: What? Where?
He turns around sharply and is hit in the face by a snowball thrown by Squee. Already the paste is doing its job. However, this does not stop the easily offended Irken from becoming enraged.
Zim: Stupid human! How dare you throw that hideous snow substance at Zim!
Squee: I…I'm real sorry, Zim. I was aiming at Gir but he's so fast and—please don't blast me with your alien laser guns! *squeeeeee*
Zim: You think I will show you mercy?!
'Nny (towering over Zim): I think you had better.
Zim: O_o …………….ahahaha…what was I thinking? It's no problem, earth-child. Go ahead and pelt me with burning snow whenever you wish. (he pats the cringing Squee on the head) No go off and have fun! Yes! Watery snowy white fun!
Mike-the-Brother: Are we cowering in terror or are we walking?
Gaz: Yeah! The sooner we get there, the sooner I can turn my GameBoy back on.
KidK's Mom: You kids can go on ahead—don't worry about us old folks. Just don't get lost!
KidK's Dad: Especially not you kids who belong to other people! Mike, Missy, you can get lost if you want to, but I can't afford a lawsuit!
KidK: Yay! My father told me to get lost! I feel so loved!
Squee: Really? When my daddy tells me to get lost, it makes me sad.
KidK: Come on! Let's leave our detractors in the dust and hike to our hearts' content!
They set off, following the trail from the general store around the big frozen lake. Mike and Gaz are discussing game strategy as they skirt the random boulders and patches of ice, Zim and Dib are locked in mental combat as usual (this time arguing over who deserves to fall through the lake's coating of ice more ^_^), 'Nny is walking along silently, staring longingly at the trees and wishing he could disappear into their peacefulness and solitude forever (or just go somewhere far away from Zim and Dib), and KidK's parents are lagging behind, treading slowly in an attempt not to fall over, which is highly unlikely in any case. And of course KidK and Gir are leading the pack, happily detailing all the fun they're going to have, singing random songs, and pointing out all the 'cool nature thingies' they see on the way. Squee is trying to keep as close to KidK as possible, for fear of bears, wildcats, turtles, giant radioactive monster squirrels, and Gir.
KidK: Hi-ho, hi-ho! To see the wolves we go!
Gir: Dee dee dee dee doo doo doo doo! Hi-ho! Hi-ho!
Mike-the-Brother: KidK is excited about physical exertion. (in a creepy, screechy voice) This has never happened before!
KidK: Mike, you probably don't even remember what it is you're quoting from, do you?
Mike-the-Brother: Um…no? It's just one of those things we always say.
Gaz: 'Nightmare Before Christmas.' The unicycle clown thing says it when everyone's surprised that Jack isn't home. (she notices the odd stares) What? I can't watch a movie every once in a while?
Dib: Look! The sign says not to throw rocks at the lake!
KidK: I think that's because the campers want to use it for skating if the ice gets thick enough.
Dib: No, I mean it says we can't throw rocks at the lake! It doesn't say anything about evil conquering aliens! We can toss Zim in with immunity!
Zim: Not it I hurl your festering carcass in first!
KidK (dreamily): I remember last time we were here and you could see all the fish in the water…and that cute little turtle, remember that Mike?
Mike-the-Brother: So that's the sequence for the mega punch, eh—oh yeah sis real cute. And what do you do for the mega kick?
Gaz: B, B, A. But you hafta hit it fast or you won't execute the move in time.
KidK: *sigh*
Gir: Fishies! Where are the fishies, Missy?
Squee: Yeah, where do the fish go when the water freezes over?
KidK: They stay under the ice, I think. Fish don't need air, they just filter the oxygen from the water, so they can live that way.
Gir: I wanna visit the fishies! (he takes off for the lake) Here I come, mah scaly-homies!
Dib: Hey, Zim! Your stupid robot is going to take a swim—why don't you join him!
Zim: Gir! Do not touch the frozen water! You'll fall through and get wet and then come over and get me wet.
Gir (halting in his crazy dash): Yes, my master! (he is distracted) Look! A mountain!
After passing the lake, the trail becomes much steeper, rising at a sharp incline that actually makes it worthwhile to be careful not to step on ice. However, the path has been traveled so often by the owners' van that there are two deep, muddy ruts in the ground—guaranteed to soil your boots but nonetheless safer to walk on than the higher strip of rocks and gravel between them. This is the part that KidK's Mom and Dad dread.
KidK's Mom (calling out from far behind): You kids be careful on that hill!
Mike-the-Brother (yelling back): We will, Mom! Sheesh! It's like you don't trust us or something! (at normal volume) Let's walk on the middle bit! Live dangerously!
KidK: I wouldn't do that if I were you, Mike.
Mike-the-Brother: But you're not me. (he steps onto the rocky middle-ground and continues up the hill)
KidK: Stubborn…
Zim: Stay off my side of the road, Dib-monkey!
Dib: With pleasure, Zim! You stay on the left, and I'll stay on the right. I'd hate for my feet to touch the same ground a pathetic Invader like you stepped on.
KidK: Good, now I don't need to separate you myself. (she looks around) Where's 'Nny-kun?
She spots her friend several yards behind and picks her way through the mud back to him, taking up a place at his side. Johnny's gaze is fixed on the snow-covered forest beyond the path, and he doesn't even seem to notice her presence.
KidK (thinking): Wow, he looks so serious…those eyes…why are you sad, 'Nny-kun? What are you thinking about?
'Nny: Hm? Oh, hello. I was just trying to figure out how long I'd last if I just walked out into the trees and never came back.
KidK: Uh oh…better pull him out of this and fast. Well, me—I wouldn't survive for more than a day or so. I'd probably injure myself within the first five minutes. You, on the other hand, you're strong. I don't think you'd mind not being able to eat much, and not sleeping certainly wouldn't be an issue. Still, it's probably best if you don't exile yourself to some desolate wilderness somewhere.
'Nny: Why? Why not leave? When I look around me, all I see is pointlessness. The pointless arguments of those two moronic kids up there, the pointless games your brother plays with the scary girl, the pointless happiness of Gir…and all the pointless, boring, malicious behavior of the masses. With all that pointlessness swirling through the world, what's the point in sticking around? The woods are so beautiful this time of year…trees like dark slashes against the lovely gray sky…cold, white snow…it would just be me and the animals. Heh, not much difference in that regard, but at least animal minds aren't filled with prejudice and hatefulness. Think about it! No grating voices for miles! Haven't you ever wondered what it would be like to be completely alone? To be able to think clearly, without the distractions of an ignorant society cutting in on your thoughts and punishing you for the crime of difference. To be able to look up at the sky and watch the stars amidst pure silence, without the intruding noise of humanity. Uncluttered, untainted, unfettered! It would be perfect. And anyway, who would even notice? If I dropped off the face of the earth tomorrow, who would miss me?
KidK (quietly): I would.
'Nny: You would? Don't. You've so many more important things to think of. I don't say that out of self-pity—not even I pity me, I know I deserve all I get—but out of truth. You've got your whole bright shiny life waiting for you, and you needn't waste your time on me.
KidK: Nothing's more important to me than the ones I love. And since we're ordering each other not to do things, I'll say this—don't be a martyr, 'Nny. Don't let yourself die for your lofty ideals of a perfect, unattainable society. Wouldn't it be just so much more fulfilling to continue to live within the context of this imperfect world, to thumb your nose at society, prove your detractors wrong, and survive despite all that goes against you? Like I said before, you're strong. If you don't let all the flaws of civilization get to you, you can enjoy all that's good about the world. And there are good things to look forward to. For me, you're one of those good things. When I was away at skool every week, I put all the annoying, low-grade evil of the people around me out of my head, knowing that I'd soon be able to see you and everyone else. And nothing is worse than college. So you see? It's not worth it to throw your life away because of them. It's so much better to vow to ignore them and have fun anyway.
'Nny: Maybe, maybe not. But you've given me something to think about, at least. You're a very optimistic person, you know that? Though you see and acknowledge the horror of the world, you look past it and hope for better. If I had to name all the good things in my life, the list wouldn't be long, but I can promise you that you'd be on it. What I can't promise you, however, is that I'll ever be able to look at the world the way you do.
KidK: That's okay. I love you anyway. ^_^
'Nny: O_O ……………
KidK: Now let's hurry and catch up. We don't want to be the last ones there!
And for the second time that day, KidK slips her arm through Johnny's and drags him away, putting an end to any kind of philosophical seriousness and resuming her normally cheerful mood. You were tired of those long rants anyway, weren't you? Here, have some comic relief! Wah!
Mike-the-Brother: Ha! We're almost there and I haven't fallen off once! You have underestimated me!
Gaz: Don't inflate your head too much, or it'll make you tip over.
Mike-the-Brother: Never! I am the master of hiking!
Zim: Not a chance! I am the master of all I survey! Including this revolting hiking path!
Mike-the-Brother: I'll bet I can get there before you do, Zim!
Dib: Now this is a bet I think Mike can win. How could Zim ever win a footrace against anyone, on those short legs?
Zim: I am going to take your bet, Mike. The price will be that when I win, you will no longer pester me to use my computer.
Mike-the-Brother: And when I win?
Zim: Oh, you make me laugh! Ha, ha, ha. If you win—which you will not—you will be permitted to use the computer for whatever inane Internet searches your heart desires. But you won't win.
Mike-the-Brother: Oh no? I think I will, because I'm getting a head start on you!
With that, he takes off running, feet pounding the dirt of the path into submission with long, powerful strides. One of Mike's strong points is running. If Zim had known this, perhaps he wouldn't've bet. What am I saying?!
Zim: Augh, you stinking human! Cheaters to the core, all of you! Well, two can play at that game, Mike…
Ahead on the path, Mike is not yet out of breath, but is getting there. The hill is steeper than he remembered. So he is of course incredibly shocked when a diminutive figure shoots by him, easily overcoming his lead.
Mike-the-Brother: Zim! Nobody…said…you could use…your mech legs!
Zim: But nobody said I couldn't, either! Logical, no? Heheheh…ahahahahaaaaa!
Zim's evil laughter continues as he gets farther and farther ahead of his adversary. It probably isn't a good idea for him to be gloating instead of paying attention to the treacherous ground.
Zim: Wahahaha—huh?
One of the spider legs slips on an unseen patch of ice, and the Irken slides, spins around, and falls to the ground with a thud. A few seconds later, Mike jogs by.
Mike-the-Brother (pointing): Haw haw!
Zim (waving his iron fist): Do not taunt me with your Simpsons quotes! I will vanquish you yet!
Mike-the-Brother: Too late. You picked a good time to lay down and admit defeat—ten feet from the finish line! (he slaps the Lakota Wolf sign at the top of the hill) Ha! I wiiiiiin!
Gaz (making her way up after them): Well, that's not something that we hear from you often, Mike.
Mike-the-Brother (running over to Gaz): Didja see me, Gaz? I totally made him eat my dust!
Dib: Yeah, how does that dirt taste down there, Zim?
Zim: Like sweet victory, Dib-buh.
Dib: What are you talking about. Mike clearly won the race!
Zim (getting to his feet): Perhaps…but tell me—did we ever shake hands on our bet?
Mike-the-Brother: ……………………..
Zim (smugly): No, I don't believe we did, either.
Mike-the-Brother: Okay, what numbskull let Zim in on the 'not paying for bets you didn't shake on' thing?
Dib: Ahahaha…
Mike-the-Brother: I take your nervous laughter as an acknowledgement of your guilt, Dib. Why'd you hafta go and tell him that's how it works? Now we won't be able to con him out of his life savings anymore!
Dib: Hey, it's not my fault! I had to use the 'handshake clause' to get out of losing a bet with him in the car! You would've done the same thing!
Mike-the-Brother: But still!
Zim: And thus Zim rules over all of you! (prepare for extreme evil laughter) Muwahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa!
KidK (arriving on the scene): Hey, what's so funny Zim? And why do you look so mad, Mike?
Zim (breathless with mirth): Because…because…I just fooled that creep Mike and beat him at his planet's own trickery in betting!
'Nny (under his breath): Oy…more gambling…so much for 'good things'…
KidK: Well, that's all well and good, Zim, but…where are Gir and Todd?
Zim (looking around): I…don't know?
Dib: Oh, that's just great! Why couldn't you keep an eye on that messed up bucket of junk of yours? Now we're gonna hafta go looking for them!
Gaz: No you won't. (she points) Here they come.
As the group looks on, the bushes quite some distance from the path begin to rustle, and then a small boy emerges from within the foliage at top speed, screaming all the while. He is followed by a gleefully skipping green puppy.
Squee: Get away! Everybody hide!
KidK: Why? What's wrong, Todd?
Squee: Bears! They're coming! Gir went off the path and I followed him to make sure he was okay and when I found him he was poking a bear with a stick! It started chasing us! It's probably right behind us now! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!
KidK: Todd, calm down. I don't see a bear anywhere.
Dib: It doesn't sound like anything's coming either. Though it'd be a lot easier to tell if Gir would shut up!
Gir (at the top of his lungs): Today's the day the teddy bears have their piiiiiiiicnic! Yeees, Dibby?
Dib: *harsh sigh* We're trying to hear if a bear is coming after you.
Gir: Nahhhhhh, she was asleeping. I tried to wake her up, but she just kept snorin' away! Sounded like Master when he's asleeping!
Gaz: So it never chased you?
Gir: Noooooo…
All eyes now turn to Squee, who looks nervous.
Squee: Well…maybe it didn't chase us. But it looked like it was going to! And I figured that if I started running Gir would follow me because he always does and that way we could get away before it did wake up and maul us all to shreds!
KidK: Well, you certainly have a comprehensive understanding of Gir psychology, that's for sure. Well, if we've no more imaginary bears to worry about, we can go over and see the wolves now.
Dib: Don't we have to wait for your parents?
KidK: No…the enclosures are right over there beyond the big sign, and there's barely anybody else here, so it's not like they won't be able to find us once they finally drag their slow butts up—oh, hello dear parents! ^_^
KidK's Dad: Hi. Did you get killed on the way up here?
KidK's Mom: We were worried when you got out of our sight range. You really shouldn't've done that.
Mike-the-Brother: But you two are such sloths! It takes you six million years to walk that trail!
KidK: Well, Mike, now you're stealing my schtick. I'm the one who always says 'six million years.'
Mike-the-Brother (sagely): Change is good.
KidK: Aargh! And now you're quoting Rafiki! How dare you try to usurp my role as quotemaster!
Mike-the-Brother (gleefully quoting): Is this bugging you? Is this bugging you? Am I freaking you out yet?
KidK: …grrrrrrrrrrr…
KidK's Mom: Mike, quit annoying your sister.
KidK: Yeah, Mike, I've still got that laser, you know.
Mike-the-Brother: Okay, okay.
Well, They've Arrived At The Top Of The Big Hill! Will This Story Ever Get Its Butt In Gear And Talk About The Wolves? Well…Yes! Please Read On In The Next Chapter, Which Is Also Named After A Movie!
Postscript: 'Nny's birthday is July 7, 1977, or, written in shorthand, 7/7/77. Remember, I made this up. It's not necessarily what the great Jhonen had in mind, and in fact probably isn't. I just thought that it'd be cool. ^_^