3 Quellë, Luin'ithil (September 30th, Blue Moon.)
I know not when it left me
Nor do I when it came
But the feeling hath subsided
To feel as though I have bled all I can
And though I bleed no more
Everything has burdened my heart
And of which I have sought solace in nights of long ago
Though do not weep when I am thither
From hither will I go
Miss me, I ask of you not
For now, it shall matter of ought.
If I have learned anything, and more that I can know
Someone was always there to listen…
Even if it helped me none.
I never knew it, but some things are best left unsaid. Some people are best left alone, and unattended. Some things were just never meant to be. I thought I could have let it go, but I am starting to contemplate whether it would be worth it or not. I am unsure for the fate that I could chose may be far worse than my current disposition. However, I would be free…
Do not blame all this entirely on him. However, I do hate him with a passion now, and long to feel his hand smite me. For those whom She wishes to smite shall be smote and I fear that I am one. I fear that I have felt a love that was unfair to fate, and it was never meant to be. Now I must go hence forth from this place so I can be alone to think for quite some time. Living alone shall not be too hard, shall it?
When I think that, I think of how it pained me so… Yet, I must move on. But… Nay. Nay—I must go on, Arwen. If only I could find another way—another outlet or something to avoid it all. I wish I never met him… My heart wrings with sorrow.
Blast! Spite! Everything seems so tempting. Haldir has been no help to me though he has tried hard. I cannot believe in the lie of a false love and connection that you spoke to me of in Rohan last month, Arwen. I cannot believe that! I will not allow it to be true…
They say that someone can be saved by something, Arwen. It is inevitable and will always happen. Chance I test this theory? Would the fate guide me towards the one that would save me? I thought I found it long ago, but the only thing of solace I found was in my mind, my dreams. My solace of sanity quickly turned to aught, and I had nothing except my wild ideals and dreams—things of my subconscious that could never be fulfilled. Had I died in battle, I would have been better off. At least, then I would have known someone loved me, or thought that—in the very least!
Nevertheless, in the bleak disposition I have dwindled myself down into, burrowing past the last boundaries of a sane life, I find living through the ages alone a bit too difficult to bear. I know not when this shall reach you, Arwen, but I shall always know this:
Someone always was there to listen…
Someone was always there when all else failed…
So now, I do let go.
I would like it to be known to you that I tried loving Haldir as he did me, but I could not bare to burden him with my emotional problems… Amin hireatha. To you and him.
Namaarië.
{Gondor, Present.}
A rapping was heard on the chambered door of the room Aragorn was currently in. Letting the visitor in, Aragorn found it to be a messenger, and he held a saddened look.
"What news of late, sir?"
"Sire… Your wife brings tidings, and she hath gone to Lothlorien safely," the man stopped short.
"Well, why do you carry the saddened face?"
"With much woe, she also sent word of Legolas Greenleaf of Mirkwood being found dead in 'Lorien."
End
**Note: I will write a sequel for those who wish for one, though I will only do so if I get 20-so reviews on this… Thanks for reading!