A/N: sorry for the long wait for this one. Severe writer's block in the humor section on my part. This one's a little love story between Kain and The Elder God.
Disclaimer: I only own the story.
Kain: Why? Why Pey Pey? Am I not good in bed anymore? If it's about what happened last time with my fangs I'm sorry I dulled them down.
Pey Pey: Honk, Honk HONK! ( he's the Kroger penguin)
Kain: What do you mean it's not me it's you? I'm sorry I took a hunk off last night with my fangs. But I still love you Pey.
Pey Pey: HONK!
Kain: What do you mean get lost? WHAT DO YOU MEAN I"M NOT IMPORTANT? I'M THE EMPORER OF NOSGOTH FOR POTATO'S SAKE!!!! DOESN'T THAT COUNT FOR ANYTYHING? I MEAN I TOOK IT OVER SO YOU COULD HAVE YOUR PARTIES!
Pey Pey: Honky Honkidy HONK!
Kain: I am not your bitch. Your the one that's always on the bottom!
Pey Pey: HONK HONK!
Kain: Fine I'm leaving and don't expect to see me back.
So with that nasty break up Kain went back on the singles list. Poor Kain ne? But Raziel wasn't the only one that made a life altering decision.
Kain: I'm going on the dating game! * starts dialing the show *
Receptionist: You would like to be on the dating game? Alrighty how old are you?
Kain: A woman's age is her secret.
Receptionist: We have to know.
Kain: Around 2 millennia. I lost count after the first two so I'm going to round it down a few centuries.
Receptionist: You're joking right?
Kain: Absolutely not.
Receptionist: * laughing * This is the dating game. We don't hook up corpses.
Corpses: Hey!
Kain: Oh I'll show you! * heads over to the studio to find receptionist *
RSP: I'm taking time to insert that no receptionists were hurt in the making of this fic. All right maybe one or two. * Listening to materials manager * What do you mean five hundred? I know I wanted to get the scene perfect but not literally you moron. You do know that the Humane Society and Worker's Lib. are going to be after my ass now don't you? * switches to a new screen with tears streaking down her face * Hug the next receptionist you see for they are on the endangered species list now as the conservationists top priority.
Kain: * proceeds to beat the living crap out of receptionist #500 *
Kain: * still beating what's left * Lord this stinks.
A week passes and Kain is still on the eligible bachelor's list. Until that is he goes to a Japanese restaurant.
Cook: What you mean cook squid bad? What you mean it was sister and cousin?
Elder: I mean you just fed my mom to those people and your currently cooking my first cousin and sister!
Cook: Impossible we don't cook things with intelligence.
Elder: Why haven't they cooked you yet?
Cook: Because I endangered specie.
Elder: I never said my family had any intelligence but still.......
Kain: * Is overhearing this entire conversation * Excuse me cook. You shouldn't cook this man's family it's just wrong.
Cook: I only do job. I no care about his family.
Elder: You care?
Kain: * Currently ignoring Elder and starts snapping fingers in a valley girl like way * That is soooo not right. Don't make me break out my moves. Family is like man's tight * bleep * I can never have enough.
Elder: Me too!
Kain : Really?
Elder: You're the one I've been searching for!
Kain: Yes I know!
Then the slow running sequence and the cheesy music begins, and here ends the story o how the Elder and Kain met.
A/N: Well that was for all of you that wanted to know. Review or I'll sick the cook on you!
Disclaimer: I only own the story.
Kain: Why? Why Pey Pey? Am I not good in bed anymore? If it's about what happened last time with my fangs I'm sorry I dulled them down.
Pey Pey: Honk, Honk HONK! ( he's the Kroger penguin)
Kain: What do you mean it's not me it's you? I'm sorry I took a hunk off last night with my fangs. But I still love you Pey.
Pey Pey: HONK!
Kain: What do you mean get lost? WHAT DO YOU MEAN I"M NOT IMPORTANT? I'M THE EMPORER OF NOSGOTH FOR POTATO'S SAKE!!!! DOESN'T THAT COUNT FOR ANYTYHING? I MEAN I TOOK IT OVER SO YOU COULD HAVE YOUR PARTIES!
Pey Pey: Honky Honkidy HONK!
Kain: I am not your bitch. Your the one that's always on the bottom!
Pey Pey: HONK HONK!
Kain: Fine I'm leaving and don't expect to see me back.
So with that nasty break up Kain went back on the singles list. Poor Kain ne? But Raziel wasn't the only one that made a life altering decision.
Kain: I'm going on the dating game! * starts dialing the show *
Receptionist: You would like to be on the dating game? Alrighty how old are you?
Kain: A woman's age is her secret.
Receptionist: We have to know.
Kain: Around 2 millennia. I lost count after the first two so I'm going to round it down a few centuries.
Receptionist: You're joking right?
Kain: Absolutely not.
Receptionist: * laughing * This is the dating game. We don't hook up corpses.
Corpses: Hey!
Kain: Oh I'll show you! * heads over to the studio to find receptionist *
RSP: I'm taking time to insert that no receptionists were hurt in the making of this fic. All right maybe one or two. * Listening to materials manager * What do you mean five hundred? I know I wanted to get the scene perfect but not literally you moron. You do know that the Humane Society and Worker's Lib. are going to be after my ass now don't you? * switches to a new screen with tears streaking down her face * Hug the next receptionist you see for they are on the endangered species list now as the conservationists top priority.
Kain: * proceeds to beat the living crap out of receptionist #500 *
Kain: * still beating what's left * Lord this stinks.
A week passes and Kain is still on the eligible bachelor's list. Until that is he goes to a Japanese restaurant.
Cook: What you mean cook squid bad? What you mean it was sister and cousin?
Elder: I mean you just fed my mom to those people and your currently cooking my first cousin and sister!
Cook: Impossible we don't cook things with intelligence.
Elder: Why haven't they cooked you yet?
Cook: Because I endangered specie.
Elder: I never said my family had any intelligence but still.......
Kain: * Is overhearing this entire conversation * Excuse me cook. You shouldn't cook this man's family it's just wrong.
Cook: I only do job. I no care about his family.
Elder: You care?
Kain: * Currently ignoring Elder and starts snapping fingers in a valley girl like way * That is soooo not right. Don't make me break out my moves. Family is like man's tight * bleep * I can never have enough.
Elder: Me too!
Kain : Really?
Elder: You're the one I've been searching for!
Kain: Yes I know!
Then the slow running sequence and the cheesy music begins, and here ends the story o how the Elder and Kain met.
A/N: Well that was for all of you that wanted to know. Review or I'll sick the cook on you!