Title: Contemplation
Author: Jainasolo17
Email: kitten7894067516@aol.com
Rating: PG-13
Archive: Ask First
Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Wars universe or Obi-Wan. I'm not making any money off this and I wouldn't dream of trying. :) I'm just an aspiring Star Wars novelist who can't wait for Attack of the Clones to come out. Thank you for everything, King George.
In the growing light of early dawn, Obi-Wan Kenobi sat cross-legged, meditating. He had woken as the first beams of sunlight crossed his face, and came to his favorite spot. It was not very far away from his hut, but it was far enough for him to get away from Namir's loud thoughts. He smiled as he thought of her. She had been recuperating in his house for the past two weeks. While she was sleeping, he had healed her, since secrecy was very important. She could not know that he was a Jedi.
His smile turned to a frown at that thought. He did not like deceiving her, especially not after what had transpired while she was under his care. She had fallen in love with him. Even though his connection with the Living Force was not always perfect, he could sense it. How could he miss it, after all? The warmth radiated from her core whenever she looked at him. It had thoroughly surprised him the first time he opened his mind to it.
As a Jedi, he had been discouraged from romantic love. Of course, he had had crushes and infatuations that he had been forced to contain, but this was something different. He was a grown man now and not entirely bound by the Jedi Code any longer. How long would she try to hide her feelings from him? Would she leave now, even when her bones had healed? He did not want her to, although he was unsure if what he felt for her in return was love. He respected her deeply... her commitment to regaining her memory, her intelligence, but most of all, her strength. She had no idea why she was there in the first place and yet she did not let that fact deter her. On top of all this, she was beautiful. Every day Obi-Wan became increasingly aware of this. Maybe she wasn't perfect looking, but he was sure that hardly came in contact with women any more added to his attraction to her.
Of course, there were many problems with his feelings for her. For one, he did not entirely understand what it was he felt. He had spent most of his life denying himself this particular emotion, and now if it was surfacing in him he was not sure if he could fully recognize it. Even if he did, there was still the tiny fact that the only reason she was in his house was that she had been sent to kill him.
Sighing, he let go of his frustration, feeling the Force flowing through him. The Emperor was attempting to kill him. That should have been his foremost concern, not his own feelings. Would it be such a loss for the galaxy if he allowed himself to be killed? Soon, he knew, someone would be sent in search of Namir and he would be in danger again. If it were the will of the Force, he would be glad to rejoin it in death.
He tried to envision the future, concentrating harder. All he could see was her. Was this good or bad? Visions could never be trusted. As the great Jedi Master Yoda was so found of saying, the future was always in motion. Any passing moment could change its outcome.
Up until he had realized that she loved him, the future had looked bleak for Obi-Wan. He hadn't been able to see any of it for himself. No visions of it had come to him. He only assumed that his destiny would be the same as his existence up until then, full of mistakes and regret. It seemed to be the will of the Force to make him suffer as much as possible.
With that thought, Obi-Wan quickly reminded himself that he had done his share to deserve all that had come to him. He had not recognized the growing darkness in young Skywalker. He had let their bond grow weaker and failed to protect him.
When he was entrusted with his Padawan's son, however, he had sworn to ensure the child's safety. The boy was only a year old now, but if he fell into his father's hands, disaster could be the only result. Anakin's son was nearly as Force-Sensitive as his father. If he was made to serve the dark lord...
Rather than even meditate on this possibility, Obi-Wan moved his thoughts on. As they had been so often, they returned to dwelling on Namir. Through his connection with the living Force, he could tell that she had awakened. He smiled and decided to join her for their morning meal.
Author: Jainasolo17
Email: kitten7894067516@aol.com
Rating: PG-13
Archive: Ask First
Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Wars universe or Obi-Wan. I'm not making any money off this and I wouldn't dream of trying. :) I'm just an aspiring Star Wars novelist who can't wait for Attack of the Clones to come out. Thank you for everything, King George.
In the growing light of early dawn, Obi-Wan Kenobi sat cross-legged, meditating. He had woken as the first beams of sunlight crossed his face, and came to his favorite spot. It was not very far away from his hut, but it was far enough for him to get away from Namir's loud thoughts. He smiled as he thought of her. She had been recuperating in his house for the past two weeks. While she was sleeping, he had healed her, since secrecy was very important. She could not know that he was a Jedi.
His smile turned to a frown at that thought. He did not like deceiving her, especially not after what had transpired while she was under his care. She had fallen in love with him. Even though his connection with the Living Force was not always perfect, he could sense it. How could he miss it, after all? The warmth radiated from her core whenever she looked at him. It had thoroughly surprised him the first time he opened his mind to it.
As a Jedi, he had been discouraged from romantic love. Of course, he had had crushes and infatuations that he had been forced to contain, but this was something different. He was a grown man now and not entirely bound by the Jedi Code any longer. How long would she try to hide her feelings from him? Would she leave now, even when her bones had healed? He did not want her to, although he was unsure if what he felt for her in return was love. He respected her deeply... her commitment to regaining her memory, her intelligence, but most of all, her strength. She had no idea why she was there in the first place and yet she did not let that fact deter her. On top of all this, she was beautiful. Every day Obi-Wan became increasingly aware of this. Maybe she wasn't perfect looking, but he was sure that hardly came in contact with women any more added to his attraction to her.
Of course, there were many problems with his feelings for her. For one, he did not entirely understand what it was he felt. He had spent most of his life denying himself this particular emotion, and now if it was surfacing in him he was not sure if he could fully recognize it. Even if he did, there was still the tiny fact that the only reason she was in his house was that she had been sent to kill him.
Sighing, he let go of his frustration, feeling the Force flowing through him. The Emperor was attempting to kill him. That should have been his foremost concern, not his own feelings. Would it be such a loss for the galaxy if he allowed himself to be killed? Soon, he knew, someone would be sent in search of Namir and he would be in danger again. If it were the will of the Force, he would be glad to rejoin it in death.
He tried to envision the future, concentrating harder. All he could see was her. Was this good or bad? Visions could never be trusted. As the great Jedi Master Yoda was so found of saying, the future was always in motion. Any passing moment could change its outcome.
Up until he had realized that she loved him, the future had looked bleak for Obi-Wan. He hadn't been able to see any of it for himself. No visions of it had come to him. He only assumed that his destiny would be the same as his existence up until then, full of mistakes and regret. It seemed to be the will of the Force to make him suffer as much as possible.
With that thought, Obi-Wan quickly reminded himself that he had done his share to deserve all that had come to him. He had not recognized the growing darkness in young Skywalker. He had let their bond grow weaker and failed to protect him.
When he was entrusted with his Padawan's son, however, he had sworn to ensure the child's safety. The boy was only a year old now, but if he fell into his father's hands, disaster could be the only result. Anakin's son was nearly as Force-Sensitive as his father. If he was made to serve the dark lord...
Rather than even meditate on this possibility, Obi-Wan moved his thoughts on. As they had been so often, they returned to dwelling on Namir. Through his connection with the living Force, he could tell that she had awakened. He smiled and decided to join her for their morning meal.