Aeryn walked silently through Moya's long and vast corridors alone. The floor was warm beneath her bare feet, but Aeryn felt cold and shaky. She tried to concentrate on Moya's hulls and quiet humming, but it didn't seem to comfort her in the least. The mere thought of carrying a child...carrying John Crichton's child...was something Aeryn just couldn't bare to think of.
But she had to. That was just the way it was. Aeryn placed a hand over her stomach. Some tiny little thing, half human, half sebacean, was growing in there. Aeryn closed her eyes and sighed heavily.
I can't tell him. I just can't. I'm not ready. I'm not ready for anything at this point...
Aeryn was a bit dazed now. She hadn't slept at all for the past three solar days. The whole situation was so enormous, so excruciatingly painful to think about, that she couldn't seem to blank her mind. She hadn't eaten much, either, and, now come to think of it, that wasn't exactly good for the baby she thought.
Aeryn groaned. A sharp pain came into her stomach. It had nothing to do with the pregnancy...Aeryn just saw a new vision; her child standing by her, watching sadly from the maintenance bay, Farscape 1 zooming through a wormhole, leaving without her...
A tear fell. Then another. Aeryn's once beautiful blue eyes were now red and puffy, and she silently broke down. She was lying on the floor, sobbing like there was no tomorrow.
"Why-me?" she choked through sobs.
Aeryn had never looked so awful or terrible since her first memories with Moya flooding back to her almost two cycles ago. Veloreck saying goodbye...Crais looking at her like that...Pilot's screams...
Aeryn suddenly stopped sobbing so much abruptly, although she was still sniffing a bit, and she looked a bit shaken. Her face was very pale.
********
John had gone after Aeryn after she had left his quarters, wondering like crazy what she looked so tense about. I mean, sure she had gone through that whole cycle of torture...but when she left, he caught a glimpse of her face...she was pale, shaken, afraid. This was not the Aeryn he was used to seeing.
John suddenly stopped in his tracks. Aeryn was on the floor on tier 7, sobbing like hell had come to get her.
Oh God. The last time I saw her like this was when she remembered Veloreck...
He silently took a step towards her. She was shivering like mad on the floor. He gently reached his hand out and touched her softly on the shoulder.
Aeryn looked up. Her eyes were red, puffy, and glossy. Now, add to her realizing who was there, fear was added to this.
Aeryn tried to say something, but she choked and started to cry again. John was now having an inner-struggle.
Should I comfort her, or will that just make her even more upset?
John decided to take his instinct and pulled Aeryn into his arms gently. Amazingly, she didn't try to push him away. Her face welled-up with tears, she laid her head down on his shoulder and cried her eyes out.
"Shh" John said softly, hugging her close to him.
Aeryn, please tell me what's wrong. Maybe I can help. God, I can't stand to see you like this...
Aeryn, meanwhile, was inside silently cursing herself.
Frelling idiot you are! You let the peacekeeper wall fall down again! You let yourself cry! And now John probably sees you as a weakling!
Oh, shut-up and let her cry another voice in her head said. She needs to let it out. John was kicked pretty hard in the beginning...he knows she's strong. And besides, she's in his arms again...
Well, can't fight with that...
Oh yes you can...
Aeryn raised her head and looked into his eyes. They were melting her, full of concern and love. John wanted to know so desperately what was wrong. Aeryn wanted to stay there. She did until she calmed down and was able to compose herself. She looked at John again. He smiled weakly at her. Aeryn's eyes lit up a little, but darkened quickly, since she remembered everything. Dreamland was over. Back to reality.
"Um...thank you" Aeryn said, turning and walking away.
"You're welcome," John said weakly as he watched Aeryn move away.
*******
Aeryn could still sense John's big, strong but soft arms hugging her. She could even smell him somewhat...she couldn't describe it, but it was defiantly John's scent. She closed her eyes, and she remembered their first kiss...
It was ironic that, of all things she was thinking about, was this. If it hadn't been for Dargo, Aeryn might have been pregnant cycles ago.
It might have been easier, even if we were being chased by peacekeepers...
Aeryn walked into Pilot's den. His many arms were flowing about, as though he were weaving something. Pilot always seemed to be busy, but when Aeryn came in, nothing else seemed to be on his mind as he looked up.
"What's wrong, officer Sun?" Pilot said, a look of concern in his warm, brown eyes.
"Pilot, I-I need to-to talk to someone" Aeryn said, trying to get a grip on herself.
"I'm all ears," Pilot said brightly.
Aeryn stopped frowned, and smiled slightly. Human terms. We've gotten so used to them, now we are using them...
Aeryn sighed, closed her eyes, and then said, "Pilot, you must swear you won't tell anyone-anyone-about this, especially Crichton."
"I swear with my life" Pilot said, nodding seriously.
"I'm pregnant," Aeryn said after a deep breath.
Pilot gasped and stared at Aeryn intently.
"Moya and I-sensed something different about you, Aeryn" Pilot said softly. "We sensed something for the good, not just the bad."
Aeryn sighed and looked at Pilot sadly. "What could be good about this? The way everything is?"
"Children" a new voice said, which made both Pilot and Aeryn nearly jump out of their skin, "is always a great blessing. I don't think I should have walked in on this conversation, though..."
Who walked in, you ask? Well, you'll find out next time...and next time might come even sooner then how long it took me to get this up if I get more feedback...and it has to be at least 5 more replies from different people. Have I stayed in character still? Who do you think is walking in on the conversation? Let me know...
Fire Star/The Radiant Aeryn Sun
But she had to. That was just the way it was. Aeryn placed a hand over her stomach. Some tiny little thing, half human, half sebacean, was growing in there. Aeryn closed her eyes and sighed heavily.
I can't tell him. I just can't. I'm not ready. I'm not ready for anything at this point...
Aeryn was a bit dazed now. She hadn't slept at all for the past three solar days. The whole situation was so enormous, so excruciatingly painful to think about, that she couldn't seem to blank her mind. She hadn't eaten much, either, and, now come to think of it, that wasn't exactly good for the baby she thought.
Aeryn groaned. A sharp pain came into her stomach. It had nothing to do with the pregnancy...Aeryn just saw a new vision; her child standing by her, watching sadly from the maintenance bay, Farscape 1 zooming through a wormhole, leaving without her...
A tear fell. Then another. Aeryn's once beautiful blue eyes were now red and puffy, and she silently broke down. She was lying on the floor, sobbing like there was no tomorrow.
"Why-me?" she choked through sobs.
Aeryn had never looked so awful or terrible since her first memories with Moya flooding back to her almost two cycles ago. Veloreck saying goodbye...Crais looking at her like that...Pilot's screams...
Aeryn suddenly stopped sobbing so much abruptly, although she was still sniffing a bit, and she looked a bit shaken. Her face was very pale.
********
John had gone after Aeryn after she had left his quarters, wondering like crazy what she looked so tense about. I mean, sure she had gone through that whole cycle of torture...but when she left, he caught a glimpse of her face...she was pale, shaken, afraid. This was not the Aeryn he was used to seeing.
John suddenly stopped in his tracks. Aeryn was on the floor on tier 7, sobbing like hell had come to get her.
Oh God. The last time I saw her like this was when she remembered Veloreck...
He silently took a step towards her. She was shivering like mad on the floor. He gently reached his hand out and touched her softly on the shoulder.
Aeryn looked up. Her eyes were red, puffy, and glossy. Now, add to her realizing who was there, fear was added to this.
Aeryn tried to say something, but she choked and started to cry again. John was now having an inner-struggle.
Should I comfort her, or will that just make her even more upset?
John decided to take his instinct and pulled Aeryn into his arms gently. Amazingly, she didn't try to push him away. Her face welled-up with tears, she laid her head down on his shoulder and cried her eyes out.
"Shh" John said softly, hugging her close to him.
Aeryn, please tell me what's wrong. Maybe I can help. God, I can't stand to see you like this...
Aeryn, meanwhile, was inside silently cursing herself.
Frelling idiot you are! You let the peacekeeper wall fall down again! You let yourself cry! And now John probably sees you as a weakling!
Oh, shut-up and let her cry another voice in her head said. She needs to let it out. John was kicked pretty hard in the beginning...he knows she's strong. And besides, she's in his arms again...
Well, can't fight with that...
Oh yes you can...
Aeryn raised her head and looked into his eyes. They were melting her, full of concern and love. John wanted to know so desperately what was wrong. Aeryn wanted to stay there. She did until she calmed down and was able to compose herself. She looked at John again. He smiled weakly at her. Aeryn's eyes lit up a little, but darkened quickly, since she remembered everything. Dreamland was over. Back to reality.
"Um...thank you" Aeryn said, turning and walking away.
"You're welcome," John said weakly as he watched Aeryn move away.
*******
Aeryn could still sense John's big, strong but soft arms hugging her. She could even smell him somewhat...she couldn't describe it, but it was defiantly John's scent. She closed her eyes, and she remembered their first kiss...
It was ironic that, of all things she was thinking about, was this. If it hadn't been for Dargo, Aeryn might have been pregnant cycles ago.
It might have been easier, even if we were being chased by peacekeepers...
Aeryn walked into Pilot's den. His many arms were flowing about, as though he were weaving something. Pilot always seemed to be busy, but when Aeryn came in, nothing else seemed to be on his mind as he looked up.
"What's wrong, officer Sun?" Pilot said, a look of concern in his warm, brown eyes.
"Pilot, I-I need to-to talk to someone" Aeryn said, trying to get a grip on herself.
"I'm all ears," Pilot said brightly.
Aeryn stopped frowned, and smiled slightly. Human terms. We've gotten so used to them, now we are using them...
Aeryn sighed, closed her eyes, and then said, "Pilot, you must swear you won't tell anyone-anyone-about this, especially Crichton."
"I swear with my life" Pilot said, nodding seriously.
"I'm pregnant," Aeryn said after a deep breath.
Pilot gasped and stared at Aeryn intently.
"Moya and I-sensed something different about you, Aeryn" Pilot said softly. "We sensed something for the good, not just the bad."
Aeryn sighed and looked at Pilot sadly. "What could be good about this? The way everything is?"
"Children" a new voice said, which made both Pilot and Aeryn nearly jump out of their skin, "is always a great blessing. I don't think I should have walked in on this conversation, though..."
Who walked in, you ask? Well, you'll find out next time...and next time might come even sooner then how long it took me to get this up if I get more feedback...and it has to be at least 5 more replies from different people. Have I stayed in character still? Who do you think is walking in on the conversation? Let me know...
Fire Star/The Radiant Aeryn Sun