Disclaimer, blah blah blah- Okay, here goes: JKR's stuff you should know by now, anything that you don't recognize isn't hers, but my original creations *evil grin*. I hope you enjoy this little fic, it is actually more of a backstory to my Trinity Ferrell series, but can't say anything more *wider evil grin* or I'll ruin the upcoming "third book" for you. This is a story about JKR's Remus Lupin, forbidden love, and upholding my belief that LOVE CONQUERS ALL. ^_^ Anyways, enjoy! ^_^
Forbidden By Moonlight
By Sailor Twilight
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Chapter Four
Michael was pouring over a thick medical textbook and its accompanied stack of papers. It had been an entire week since the carnival, and Remus had been there for three whole weeks. Since he'd gotten better, every day Danika wanted to do something with Remus and Michael. Or it was that way until after their day at the carnival. Now she seemed to spend a bit more of her time with Remus.
Now, Michael wasn't jealous of Remus. He'd always seen Danika as a sort of little sister, nothing more than a very good friend. But there was something shady about Remus that he couldn't explain.
He could tell Remus was hiding something from them, something dark. Every now and then Michael would catch a dark look in Remus's eyes. And weren't his eyes brown last week? Now they had flecks of amber in them, and an almost primal look in his eyes…
Or perhaps Michael had been playing the concerned older brother a bit too much lately. He loved Danika dearly, but couldn't tell her how to run her life. On the other hand, he couldn't let Remus hurt her.
His biggest problem really was who to speak to first about his suspicion- Remus or Danika?
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"It's gorgeous out, why don't the three of us go for a walk?" Danika suggested one morning.
It had been exactly three weeks since the day Remus had woke up in the Muggle world, under the care of Danika and her friend Michael. Two weeks since Danika and Remus shared their first kiss under the starry sky.
Remus never imagined so much happiness coming in such a short span of time. He'd found a wonderful friend and companion in Danika, who struck him as special the very first time they met.
But there was still something that Remus couldn't tell her, no matter what. He'd tried and tried but the words never left the tip of his tongue.
"I'm a werewolf."
He didn't know how she would react, and with the full moon only a week away Remus was getting very worried. The wolf was beginning to stir inside of him, and it wouldn't be long before he would have to return to his sanctuary again.
He didn't want to say goodbye to the first person he'd ever fallen for. Danika was too precious to him to just leave behind forever. At the same time, he feared what would happen if he stayed. Moony was rising, and Moony did not like any human.
His worries washed away when he felt her familiar warmth as she linked her arm with his. He smiled at her, and she smiled back. "Well, what about it? Want to go for a walk or sit here and get lost in space all day?"
Remus laughed. "I don't care what we do, really… sure, why not? It's going to rain tomorrow so we might as well enjoy the nice weather today."
She beamed and the two of them got up from the couch. "Ready, Mikey?" Danika asked, putting a hand on her studious friend's shoulder.
"Oh, you two go on ahead. I've got a lot of work to catch up on. I'll just enjoy the sunshine by sitting on the porch and finishing this essay on human anatomy." He smiled. "Just be careful you two."
"We will! Come on, Remus!" And they raced out of the house, and onto the path leading toward the forest.
It wasn't their first walk together through the forest, but each time they did brought something new. Last time Remus found some wild berries and they stopped by a creek to have a snack and talk. Danika always asked about more details concerning the wizarding world, wanting to know everything about it.
Remus told her about Hogwarts, the Marauders, Hogsmeade, the Ministry of Magic, Diagon Alley- everything except the one thing he dreaded revealing to his first love.
There was something else he had not told Danika. Something he couldn't tell her because it was too cruel to say. He had gotten too close to her, he had not stopped himself, and it was too late now.
He had fallen in love with her. And something told him that she felt the same way. But he couldn't let himself say those three words, and because of that he could never say I love you.
Sirius would hit him on the head for this, he thought. His best friend hated when Remus would restrict himself because of his lycanthropy. And this was taking some real restraining on Remus's part.
Especially during moments like this, when he and Danika were alone, and the forest was shielding them from the entire universe. There was no Ministry, no society to prevent them from being close like this. He had his arm around her now, and they walked slowly along in silence. Birds chirped and the wind gently caressed them. They had the path memorized- the one that lead to where she first found him. The place where fate found them both.
Danika pulled Remus's arm gently, guiding him to the familiar shade. She snuggled close, and Remus was glad that he had gotten used to her displays of affection. He slowly put an arm around her, drawing her closer against him.
"I'm so glad I found you." Danika murmured, and they both laughed.
"Me too." Remus breathed the scent of her hair, the soft smell of flowers.
"So tell me more about the Marauders." She asked as they sat down on a smooth patch of grass.
"I've pretty much told you all there IS to tell." Except about why his friends became Animagi, and what he really was. Remus looked down, the guilt swelling inside to the point of physical pain.
"What's wrong?" She asked him, worried. Danika always had a way to read his emotions.
"Nothing…" Although he knew the second that word left his lips she would know he was lying.
"Come on, Remmie, you can tell me." She looked at him, concerned. "You know you can tell me anything."
Merlin, this was so hard. Remus wondered how much longer he could hide the truth.
Yet his fear of how she would react- or worse yet, what Moony could do to the first girl he'd ever loved-
He shook away the feeling of dread, and looked up into her emerald eyes. He couldn't lie to those eyes, he couldn't keep lying to her.
He was about to pour his tormented soul to her, but she beat him to the punchline.
"I know what you're hiding." She sounded… sad.
Remus's heart leapt in his chest. Danika knew! But how…?
The note, the rules, the feeling of utter hopelessness- it all came back, overwhelming him. How could he even think that she could ever love him, a monster?
He clenched a fist, pulling up some grass. He was so angry at himself. Stupid, stupid Remus.
Stupid, naïve little boy.
"Doggy." A little boy, reaching toward the snarling creature.
Careless, heartless monster.
"The wolf bit him… I'm afraid there is no cure, Mr. and Mrs. Lupin… he is positive for lycanthropy."
I am a werewolf.
He closed his eyes, fighting against the wave of depression that had crashed over him.
"Remus?" She didn't sound afraid… and she still let him touch her… maybe she took it better than he expected.
He looked up at her, soft brown strands or his hair falling loosely over his eyes. She tenderly stroked his hair, a sad smile on her face. "You miss your friends, don't you? I can tell… you don't want to hurt my feelings… but it's okay if you're homesick… if you want to… go home."
Realization came slower than his paranoia. "What?" He asked, blinking.
"I know that's why you've been so upset, don't even try to deny it. I understand. You're homesick. Well, don't worry about me… we can keep in touch, right? And visit each other during the holidays… that sort of thing." Danika wasn't a very persuasive speaker, and her sorrow leaked in her voice.
"Danika… I-" His voice caught in his throat, but he had her attention now.
Liquid jade met his amber-flecked, umber colored eyes. She looked so sad, and he knew that she would cry any second now.
He leaned in, softly cupping her face in his hands and drawing her towards him. Their lips brushed softly against each other, and then connected, slowly.
The world stood still, both of their worries were washed away in one passionate kiss. Remus felt as if he was already home, like he belonged here- in this private place, with Danika. She shivered as his hands moved down her body, finding a place to rest behind her back. She in turn wrapped her arms around his neck, deepening their kiss.
It would be too difficult to leave Danika, he knew- he'd fallen for her, harder than he ever dreamed of- and he had to protect her from himself.
He pulled away, reluctantly leaving her warm lips and embrace. The comfortable air only moments ago had a sudden harsh chill to it. "I'll miss you…" Danika's voice was choked up, and new tears flooded her eyes. "I know you have to go… I don't know why… I know you miss your friends… I understand that, but still…" Her voice trembled, and trailed off.
Remus forced himself to move back, away from her. He longed to wrap his arms around her and comfort his weeping love, but- a vision of Moony tearing into her throat made him stop. "Thank you… you don't know how much I… appreciate that you took me in, Danika…" Such heartfelt words, meaningless in comparison of what he really felt.
Tears ran down her cheeks, how cruel of him to make her cry. 'Maybe I really am a monster.'
"You're welcome to come back anytime, Remus… please visit… me… and Michael." She wiped the tears away, but it was futile against the non-stop stream. "Keep in touch?"
"If an owl shows up, promise you won't freak out?" His poor attempt to lighten the mood.
Somehow, she had the strength to smile. "I promise."
It was now or never, and Remus had never hated himself more. So much he wanted to tell her, but knowing this would the last time he could see her- he didn't want her to remember him as a dark creature. He would rather leave her now, before she discovered his gruesome secret and hated him- before Moony could sink his teeth into the tender tissue of her throat.
"Good… bye." Remus wanted to crawl under a rock and die.
He started to head off when she called out. "Wait!"
He stopped, turned around. "Not good bye." She was shaking, crying. "See you later. Good bye is forever."
Damn him for lying to her, after all she'd done for him. "See you later."
He headed around the cliff, looking for a way back up into the Forbidden Forest. Danika collapsed to the ground and sobbed.
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Please review me, I'm such a ham and love to be complimented, but I take the flames with the goodies... just let me know what you think so far, if this is a good story idea, if you like anything I've done or have disliked anything I've done... just please do me a favor, I KNOW THIS IS MARY SUE-ish so please don't label it as such~ what can I say *evil laughter* I am a romance writer, it seems Mary Sue like always at the beginning... but if you are familiar with any of my stories, there is always a catch...
Very special thanks to my reviewers- Rugi Gwena (if you haven't checked out their Tough Guide to Harry Potter, it's on my favorites list and you just *have* to check it out, it's a great reference AND it's hilarious too!), Angel Celeste, Granitite Stone, and Cobalite, the numero uno beta. Coby-chan- thanks for making sure I don't write something that sounds stupid. ^_^
Please review and tell me what you think, the more reviews = more motivation to write more! ^_^
"How much further do I have to go?
How much longer till I finally know?
Cause I'm looking and I just can't see what's in front of me
In front of me
Show me what it's for
Make me understand it
I've been crawling in the dark, looking for the answer
Is there something more than what I've been handed?
I've been crawling in the dark, looking for the answer..."
~ Hoobastank "Crawling in the Dark"