Shattered
Final Chapter
Disclaimer: I don't own anything concerning Third Watch. I'm just borrowing the characters and playing with them for a bit.
Author's note is at the bottom of the page.
Feedback: Always wanted and appreciated
E-Mail: Wine_into_water@hotmail.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The sun was shinning, a warm breeze was blowing, birds singing, children playing. It was a perfect day....a perfect day for everyone else except her.
She walked along the grass not stopping until she reached the old oak tree that stood beside the fence. She had been caring two beers, she twisted the caps off both and sat one down beside him. Keeping the other she took a huge gulp as she sat down in the shade by the trunk of the tree.
"Happy Anniversary" She said as she gave him a cheers.
It had taken most of the day for her to get the nerve to come here. She had taken the day off work, the kids were at the nieghbours and she...she was here. After a year she had finally gotten enough courage to face him. Maybe courage wasn't the right word, maybe she was finally angry enough or maybe she finally had enough pretending that she was fine. That she had coped with it all. That she was ready to leave the past were it was and move on. She wasn't quite sure her reason for finally showing up but she knew that if she was ever going to it would have to be today.
She let out a sigh, leaned back on the tree, closed her eyes and let the memories come rushing back like they always did....She had just reached her gun...she almost had it in her hands....she looked behind her...the suspect had a his gun on her...he was pulling the trigger....she didn't have time to do anything.....she heard the loud sound of the gun going off....Bosco stepping in front of her.....blood spurting out of his neck....him falling to the ground.....the gunman still standing there with his gun....her pulling the trigger on her gun that she finally picked up....the gunman falling to the ground, she had shot him in the heart....she rushed over to Bosco....there had been so much blood.....so much blood....she tried to stop it but it was coming out to fast to strong....he was bleeding to death and still he asked her if she was ok....his voice only a strained whisper....he made her swear that she was fine....he said he had kept his promise....told her not to cry or worry that he'd be fine because.....because she was fine...she couldn't understand how he could be thinking of her at a time like this....his eye lids slowly starting to drift shut....the blood...the blood starting to slow down....he reached for her hand....she heard sirens getting closer....he just had to hold on for a couple more minutes, just a couple more minutes....he squeezed her hand...then....then he with his soft fading voice he said...."Good bye Faith"
"Damn you!... DAMN YOU BOSCO!" she shouted as she took her beer bottle and threw it. Shattering it to pieces as it hit his head stone. "Damn you." She softly said as she began to cry.
The bus pulled in a minute later. Carlos and Doc came rushing over to Bosco. They kneeled down to work on him. Stopping they both looked at each other then Doc looked up at her, his eyes full of sadness and regret. He shook his head, "I'm sorry Faith."
"No! No you're wrong! He's fine. He's going to be fine!"
Doc stood up and walked towards her. He went to touch her hand.
"No, don't touch me!" She said as she slowly backed away, "Go over there and help him!...Please?!....Please just help him!" She pleaded as she kept backing away. She backed into something and fell to the ground. "Please Doc, go over there and help him....Please!"
Doc kneeled in front of her, "I'm sorry Faith. Their was nothing we could have done."
She began to cry even harder. Doc held her and tried to comfort her but it didn't help anything. She kept looking past him, looking past him to Bosco. He was laying there in a pool of blood, he wasn't moving. He was pale and still. Time passed, people came and went. Cops taking pictures trying to ask her questions but she didn't hear them. She just stayed there where she had fallen and kept looking at Bosco. Finally everything was done and Carlos had came back with a body bag. He unzipped it and laid it beside Bosco. He was about to start moving Bosco into it.
"NO! You can't! You can't...please don't."
Carlos stopped what he was doing and looked over to Doc who was standing by her.
"He...he doesn't like the dark. You can't put him in there. Please Doc?"
"It's ok Faith, we wont." He motioned for Carlos to put the bag away and then went to load him on a stretcher. They put him on the bus and shut the doors. She watched as they pulled away.
That's all she could remember until she got home. It was late by then and she hadn't planed on telling the kids until morning but Charlie must have heard her come in because he came running out of his room holding a card that he and Emily had made for Bosco. "Mom! Mom! Look! Em and I made this tonight. It's for uncle Bos. We thought we'd give it to him tomorrow when he picks us up to go to the park. What do you think mom? It's not much just a card telling him we love him and to thank him for always being around.....Mom what's wrong? Why are you crying? Bosco is still coming over tomorrow right, you guys didn't have a fight or anything did you? He said he was taking us to the park and we would all play catch."
"Charlie honey is Emily still up?"
"I don't know. You want me to go see?"
"Yeah would you please."
Charlie came running back into the room, "Nope she's sleeping."
"Well I guess I'll tell her later....Why don't you come sit down with me on the couch....Charlie something happened tonight, something really bad."
"What mom?"
"It's...it's Bosco he...he got hurt really bad."
"He's going to be fine though right?...Isn't he?....Mom?"
"No Charlie he isn't...he....he died."
"No he didn't. He didn't because he said he'd take us to the park tomorrow he wouldn't break a promise....Mom?... Mom he didn't." He said as he shook his head and began to cry.
Hugging Charlie and stroking his hair she said, "I'm sorry baby. I'm sorry."
From behind a quiet voice said, "Mom?"
She just looked over to Emily. Emily knew that she was telling the truth. Emily ran over to them, She opened up her arms and let Emily join in the hug she was giving Charlie. Both kids were crying. The card that Charlie and Emily made slipped to the floor, opening up to a red construction paper heart that said, 'We love you Bosco'
"Do you know how many nights they cried themselves to sleep after that night? Huh?... Do you know how many times I catch myself watching the locker room doors thinking that you'll run in at the last minute like always? It's been a year, a whole year Bos and I still do it. But you never do, you never come in through those doors...You know I still dial up your number when I need to talk to someone but guess what? You're not there, you never answer....How could you do this to me Bosco? How could you leave me here? We were partners. We're suppose to stick by each other but you bailed Bosco, you bailed!" She wiped the tears from her face and continued, "I HATE YOU! I hate you for leaving me alone without my best friend. I hate you for being so damn proud and keeping your promise to keep me safe.....I know it sounds selfish and awful but I can't help it, it's true." She hated herself for hating him but as much as she tried she couldn't shake the feeling of being betrayed. She knew he did it to save her, but why? Why keep her safe if this was the outcome, if all this pain she felt wouldn't go away, not even a little.
The funeral had ended up being a big one. A lot of people had showed up. Bosco had died a "hero" so he was buried as one. He got the whole works. He deserved it. His mother or father hadn't shown up for it. In fact she still hadn't heard a word about them or Mikey. She just couldn't understand how they couldn't have went to his funeral. He was their son. She had known about Bosco's past, the beatings the neglect but she hadn't really understood what he must have felt all his life until then. They didn't even care enough to say good bye.
It was weird, the more she lived without him the more she seemed to understand him. All those years they had been partners she had thought she had gotten a pretty good clue to who the real Maurice Boscorelli was but there was still more to learn. She had went to his apartment to clear it out. It turned out that he had left everything to her and the kids. He had even left his car to Charlie because he had loved it so much. Well Charlie wouldn't be able to drive it for awhile but he had said that she could providing she took care of it. She grinned at the memory. As she went through his stuff she found a pale blue envelope with her name written on it.
She sat forward and dug in her purse pulling out the envelope. She had never had the courage to open it. Something inside her thought that once she had read it that would be it. She would have to say good bye for good this time. She didn't know if she was ready.
With shaking hands she opened up the envelope and pulled out the letter and as she began to read it she heard his voice...
~*~
Dear Faith,
I don't know why I'm writing this, we both know I'm not the letter type but it's almost four in the morning and I'm sitting here watching you sleep and I figured now was as good a time as any.
I guess this letter is to thank you for always being there for me. I realized I have never really told you that, sure I may have hinted to it, tried to say it but you know me chances are I didn't get it out, not the way it was suppose to sound anyway. So I figured I would tell you here, like this. That way I don't have to worry about making a fool out of myself because by the time you ever read this I wont be around.
You are my best friend Faith, the only real friend I ever had. Without you I don't know what would have happened to me. You kept me grounded. I can't thank you enough for that. Times when I just wanted to give up, you kept me going. I don't think I can ever make you understand just what you did for me. All my life I felt like I wasn't wanted, just a waste of space, nothing good was ever going to become of me. Then I met you and right from the start I knew we would be friends, there was just something about you that made you different from anyone else I had ever known. You gave me chance Faith, you took the time to get through all the shit I dished out to protect myself. No body else had ever thought I was worth the effort. You made me feel like I mattered, that I was worth something, you even got me believing it. We've had our fights, said things we wished we could take back but through it all you've stuck by me. I can never repay you for that. As much as I try nothing will come close to giving you back what you gave me. Thank you Faith.
Love Always,
Bosco
PS
Tell Emily and Charlie I love them.
~*~
Tears began to sting her eyes again. One fell on to the letter as she stared at it. She read it over again.
"How could you think you could never repay me Bos? You did a million times over. I wish you would have known. I wish I would have told you so.....I'm sorry Bos."
A soft wind blew. She was right, reading the letter meant she had to say good bye. Move on with her life she had to let him go. She had understood him now. Why protecting her was so important to him. She could never hold that against him again. But even when she had, even if she thought she hated him it was just her way of holding on to him. It was wrong but it was all she had but now she had something new. She had a new understanding. She had always known what they meant to each other. They didn't have to say it. But reading it reminded her of just how much they had. She had been angry at him for so long that she forgot.
She carefully folded up the letter and placed it back in her purse. She flipped through some papers and pulled out a worn wallet size picture of her and the kids. A picture that was taken at the park a few years before. She wiped away her tears and gave a small smile, "I found this when they gave me your belongings. I thought you might want it back. " She dug some dirt away from the head stone with her hands and placed it in the hole and covered back it back up. "We're always with you Bosco, always."
"and I'm always with you guys, always"
She looked around, she could have sworn she heard him say that but of course he wasn't there. Just her mind playing tricks on her again.
She got up and picked up the shattered pieces of glass and threw them out. She came back to where she had been sitting. She was happy she had come here today. She was feeling much better about it all. She still missed him, still wished he would run in a minute before roll call and that everything would be ok. But she was ready to forget all the bad memories, forget that night and only remember the good times. She was ready to start moving on. She owed it to him. He didn't give up his life for her just to have her hate it or dread everyday that came.
It was getting late. She had to be getting home but before she left. She kissed her hand and placed it on his name.
"Good bye Bosco."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Authors note: Well if you finished reading this chapter after you found out I killed Bosco thank you. But I want to explain myself. You have no clue what a hard decsion this was. All along since I kept Faith alive (the whole point of this story when I first started was to kill her off before Bosco had a chance to make things right between them, then how it affected him) I had this idea about Bosco only being able to forgive himself was to save Faith at all cost and be totally ok with it. In fact most of this chapter was written before I posted the last one. When I read your reviews and saw you wanted Bosco to live I thought maybe he should. I know what it's like to invest your time in a story to only be let down at the end and I hate that so I went and wrote a version where he did live. but I just couldn't get it to where I wanted it. Then I thought of waiting and posting both versions and let you decide which one you liked better but in the end I posted this one. I just thought it suited the story better. I'm sorry if I let you down. If you absolutely hate this version then I could rework the "alive" one and post it up instead.
I want to thank you all for the kind and encouraging words through out this story. You have no idea what it meant to have your support. I enjoyed writing this story and I am glad that you enjoyed reading it. I never thought I could write a fanfic but I gave it a try anyway so thank you for hanging in there. Hopefully the ending to this one wont discourage you to read any other stories I may come up with.
Final Chapter
Disclaimer: I don't own anything concerning Third Watch. I'm just borrowing the characters and playing with them for a bit.
Author's note is at the bottom of the page.
Feedback: Always wanted and appreciated
E-Mail: Wine_into_water@hotmail.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The sun was shinning, a warm breeze was blowing, birds singing, children playing. It was a perfect day....a perfect day for everyone else except her.
She walked along the grass not stopping until she reached the old oak tree that stood beside the fence. She had been caring two beers, she twisted the caps off both and sat one down beside him. Keeping the other she took a huge gulp as she sat down in the shade by the trunk of the tree.
"Happy Anniversary" She said as she gave him a cheers.
It had taken most of the day for her to get the nerve to come here. She had taken the day off work, the kids were at the nieghbours and she...she was here. After a year she had finally gotten enough courage to face him. Maybe courage wasn't the right word, maybe she was finally angry enough or maybe she finally had enough pretending that she was fine. That she had coped with it all. That she was ready to leave the past were it was and move on. She wasn't quite sure her reason for finally showing up but she knew that if she was ever going to it would have to be today.
She let out a sigh, leaned back on the tree, closed her eyes and let the memories come rushing back like they always did....She had just reached her gun...she almost had it in her hands....she looked behind her...the suspect had a his gun on her...he was pulling the trigger....she didn't have time to do anything.....she heard the loud sound of the gun going off....Bosco stepping in front of her.....blood spurting out of his neck....him falling to the ground.....the gunman still standing there with his gun....her pulling the trigger on her gun that she finally picked up....the gunman falling to the ground, she had shot him in the heart....she rushed over to Bosco....there had been so much blood.....so much blood....she tried to stop it but it was coming out to fast to strong....he was bleeding to death and still he asked her if she was ok....his voice only a strained whisper....he made her swear that she was fine....he said he had kept his promise....told her not to cry or worry that he'd be fine because.....because she was fine...she couldn't understand how he could be thinking of her at a time like this....his eye lids slowly starting to drift shut....the blood...the blood starting to slow down....he reached for her hand....she heard sirens getting closer....he just had to hold on for a couple more minutes, just a couple more minutes....he squeezed her hand...then....then he with his soft fading voice he said...."Good bye Faith"
"Damn you!... DAMN YOU BOSCO!" she shouted as she took her beer bottle and threw it. Shattering it to pieces as it hit his head stone. "Damn you." She softly said as she began to cry.
The bus pulled in a minute later. Carlos and Doc came rushing over to Bosco. They kneeled down to work on him. Stopping they both looked at each other then Doc looked up at her, his eyes full of sadness and regret. He shook his head, "I'm sorry Faith."
"No! No you're wrong! He's fine. He's going to be fine!"
Doc stood up and walked towards her. He went to touch her hand.
"No, don't touch me!" She said as she slowly backed away, "Go over there and help him!...Please?!....Please just help him!" She pleaded as she kept backing away. She backed into something and fell to the ground. "Please Doc, go over there and help him....Please!"
Doc kneeled in front of her, "I'm sorry Faith. Their was nothing we could have done."
She began to cry even harder. Doc held her and tried to comfort her but it didn't help anything. She kept looking past him, looking past him to Bosco. He was laying there in a pool of blood, he wasn't moving. He was pale and still. Time passed, people came and went. Cops taking pictures trying to ask her questions but she didn't hear them. She just stayed there where she had fallen and kept looking at Bosco. Finally everything was done and Carlos had came back with a body bag. He unzipped it and laid it beside Bosco. He was about to start moving Bosco into it.
"NO! You can't! You can't...please don't."
Carlos stopped what he was doing and looked over to Doc who was standing by her.
"He...he doesn't like the dark. You can't put him in there. Please Doc?"
"It's ok Faith, we wont." He motioned for Carlos to put the bag away and then went to load him on a stretcher. They put him on the bus and shut the doors. She watched as they pulled away.
That's all she could remember until she got home. It was late by then and she hadn't planed on telling the kids until morning but Charlie must have heard her come in because he came running out of his room holding a card that he and Emily had made for Bosco. "Mom! Mom! Look! Em and I made this tonight. It's for uncle Bos. We thought we'd give it to him tomorrow when he picks us up to go to the park. What do you think mom? It's not much just a card telling him we love him and to thank him for always being around.....Mom what's wrong? Why are you crying? Bosco is still coming over tomorrow right, you guys didn't have a fight or anything did you? He said he was taking us to the park and we would all play catch."
"Charlie honey is Emily still up?"
"I don't know. You want me to go see?"
"Yeah would you please."
Charlie came running back into the room, "Nope she's sleeping."
"Well I guess I'll tell her later....Why don't you come sit down with me on the couch....Charlie something happened tonight, something really bad."
"What mom?"
"It's...it's Bosco he...he got hurt really bad."
"He's going to be fine though right?...Isn't he?....Mom?"
"No Charlie he isn't...he....he died."
"No he didn't. He didn't because he said he'd take us to the park tomorrow he wouldn't break a promise....Mom?... Mom he didn't." He said as he shook his head and began to cry.
Hugging Charlie and stroking his hair she said, "I'm sorry baby. I'm sorry."
From behind a quiet voice said, "Mom?"
She just looked over to Emily. Emily knew that she was telling the truth. Emily ran over to them, She opened up her arms and let Emily join in the hug she was giving Charlie. Both kids were crying. The card that Charlie and Emily made slipped to the floor, opening up to a red construction paper heart that said, 'We love you Bosco'
"Do you know how many nights they cried themselves to sleep after that night? Huh?... Do you know how many times I catch myself watching the locker room doors thinking that you'll run in at the last minute like always? It's been a year, a whole year Bos and I still do it. But you never do, you never come in through those doors...You know I still dial up your number when I need to talk to someone but guess what? You're not there, you never answer....How could you do this to me Bosco? How could you leave me here? We were partners. We're suppose to stick by each other but you bailed Bosco, you bailed!" She wiped the tears from her face and continued, "I HATE YOU! I hate you for leaving me alone without my best friend. I hate you for being so damn proud and keeping your promise to keep me safe.....I know it sounds selfish and awful but I can't help it, it's true." She hated herself for hating him but as much as she tried she couldn't shake the feeling of being betrayed. She knew he did it to save her, but why? Why keep her safe if this was the outcome, if all this pain she felt wouldn't go away, not even a little.
The funeral had ended up being a big one. A lot of people had showed up. Bosco had died a "hero" so he was buried as one. He got the whole works. He deserved it. His mother or father hadn't shown up for it. In fact she still hadn't heard a word about them or Mikey. She just couldn't understand how they couldn't have went to his funeral. He was their son. She had known about Bosco's past, the beatings the neglect but she hadn't really understood what he must have felt all his life until then. They didn't even care enough to say good bye.
It was weird, the more she lived without him the more she seemed to understand him. All those years they had been partners she had thought she had gotten a pretty good clue to who the real Maurice Boscorelli was but there was still more to learn. She had went to his apartment to clear it out. It turned out that he had left everything to her and the kids. He had even left his car to Charlie because he had loved it so much. Well Charlie wouldn't be able to drive it for awhile but he had said that she could providing she took care of it. She grinned at the memory. As she went through his stuff she found a pale blue envelope with her name written on it.
She sat forward and dug in her purse pulling out the envelope. She had never had the courage to open it. Something inside her thought that once she had read it that would be it. She would have to say good bye for good this time. She didn't know if she was ready.
With shaking hands she opened up the envelope and pulled out the letter and as she began to read it she heard his voice...
~*~
Dear Faith,
I don't know why I'm writing this, we both know I'm not the letter type but it's almost four in the morning and I'm sitting here watching you sleep and I figured now was as good a time as any.
I guess this letter is to thank you for always being there for me. I realized I have never really told you that, sure I may have hinted to it, tried to say it but you know me chances are I didn't get it out, not the way it was suppose to sound anyway. So I figured I would tell you here, like this. That way I don't have to worry about making a fool out of myself because by the time you ever read this I wont be around.
You are my best friend Faith, the only real friend I ever had. Without you I don't know what would have happened to me. You kept me grounded. I can't thank you enough for that. Times when I just wanted to give up, you kept me going. I don't think I can ever make you understand just what you did for me. All my life I felt like I wasn't wanted, just a waste of space, nothing good was ever going to become of me. Then I met you and right from the start I knew we would be friends, there was just something about you that made you different from anyone else I had ever known. You gave me chance Faith, you took the time to get through all the shit I dished out to protect myself. No body else had ever thought I was worth the effort. You made me feel like I mattered, that I was worth something, you even got me believing it. We've had our fights, said things we wished we could take back but through it all you've stuck by me. I can never repay you for that. As much as I try nothing will come close to giving you back what you gave me. Thank you Faith.
Love Always,
Bosco
PS
Tell Emily and Charlie I love them.
~*~
Tears began to sting her eyes again. One fell on to the letter as she stared at it. She read it over again.
"How could you think you could never repay me Bos? You did a million times over. I wish you would have known. I wish I would have told you so.....I'm sorry Bos."
A soft wind blew. She was right, reading the letter meant she had to say good bye. Move on with her life she had to let him go. She had understood him now. Why protecting her was so important to him. She could never hold that against him again. But even when she had, even if she thought she hated him it was just her way of holding on to him. It was wrong but it was all she had but now she had something new. She had a new understanding. She had always known what they meant to each other. They didn't have to say it. But reading it reminded her of just how much they had. She had been angry at him for so long that she forgot.
She carefully folded up the letter and placed it back in her purse. She flipped through some papers and pulled out a worn wallet size picture of her and the kids. A picture that was taken at the park a few years before. She wiped away her tears and gave a small smile, "I found this when they gave me your belongings. I thought you might want it back. " She dug some dirt away from the head stone with her hands and placed it in the hole and covered back it back up. "We're always with you Bosco, always."
"and I'm always with you guys, always"
She looked around, she could have sworn she heard him say that but of course he wasn't there. Just her mind playing tricks on her again.
She got up and picked up the shattered pieces of glass and threw them out. She came back to where she had been sitting. She was happy she had come here today. She was feeling much better about it all. She still missed him, still wished he would run in a minute before roll call and that everything would be ok. But she was ready to forget all the bad memories, forget that night and only remember the good times. She was ready to start moving on. She owed it to him. He didn't give up his life for her just to have her hate it or dread everyday that came.
It was getting late. She had to be getting home but before she left. She kissed her hand and placed it on his name.
"Good bye Bosco."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Authors note: Well if you finished reading this chapter after you found out I killed Bosco thank you. But I want to explain myself. You have no clue what a hard decsion this was. All along since I kept Faith alive (the whole point of this story when I first started was to kill her off before Bosco had a chance to make things right between them, then how it affected him) I had this idea about Bosco only being able to forgive himself was to save Faith at all cost and be totally ok with it. In fact most of this chapter was written before I posted the last one. When I read your reviews and saw you wanted Bosco to live I thought maybe he should. I know what it's like to invest your time in a story to only be let down at the end and I hate that so I went and wrote a version where he did live. but I just couldn't get it to where I wanted it. Then I thought of waiting and posting both versions and let you decide which one you liked better but in the end I posted this one. I just thought it suited the story better. I'm sorry if I let you down. If you absolutely hate this version then I could rework the "alive" one and post it up instead.
I want to thank you all for the kind and encouraging words through out this story. You have no idea what it meant to have your support. I enjoyed writing this story and I am glad that you enjoyed reading it. I never thought I could write a fanfic but I gave it a try anyway so thank you for hanging in there. Hopefully the ending to this one wont discourage you to read any other stories I may come up with.