When Grissom woke up, he thought for a second that he was dead. Seeing nothing but white after one's last waking thought was that one was dying had a bad effect on one's mind.
It did not help that the entire staff of the recovery room was in the opposite corner, trying to get an outraged man away from his wife who had just come out of surgery herself. He had been sitting by her bed stroking her hand, and suddenly stood up yelling, visibly upsetting his wife.
All Grissom heard was a man screaming that he was going to "kill the bitch" and a woman's voice, weak and hoarse, begging him to wait until they got home to make a scene.
He was just glad Sara had not witnessed whatever was happening in the corner.
Sara.
He remembered what happened, suddenly. After working thousands of cases he had surprised himself by forgetting collection vials. Sara had offered to run outside and get the silver-gray case out of back of his vehicle so that he could continue fingerprinting the room. He warned her to be careful, and continued working his way toward the front door through which Sara had just left. The next thing he remembered was a hand clamping over his mouth.
He had things he needed to tell each of his CSIs. Messages he had tried to relay through Sara. Thank Catherine for sticking around in my life longer than anyone else. Tell Warrick not to blow it just because I'm not there to breathe over his shoulder. Tell Nick that I know, Catherine told me, that I'm sorry and for him to get help, because he is too good of a person to let something eat him up inside. And for Sara to quit trying to save the world and just do something to make herself happy. He was glad now that he had not managed to tell all of this to Sara. If he was going to make it, he did not want to have acted so uncharacteristic. He wondered if it was okay for people like him not to actually say anything. People should just know, you should not have to sound like an idiot. He hated awkward conversation and uncertainty.
A nurse came over to him. She looked to be in her late twenties and had her hair cut in a short brown bob and clipped back from her face with small silver barrettes. She smiled at him and told him apologetically, "You should have had someone over here when you woke up, Mr. Grissom. If Gina's husband hadn't gotten so angry just now...Now, don't try to talk too much, but how are you feeling?"
"Hurts," he answered.
She gave him a look that he could not place. He hated being vulnerable. "Here's your morphine pump, then. You'll have it for a few days. Just hit that button on top. And don't worry, it's programmed not to go above the amount the doctor prescribed."
He knew that. He was tired of the cute nurse. He needed to see someone he knew.
"The doctor should be by to check on you in about an hour, and we'll have you settled in your room by sunrise," the nurse told him. "Meanwhile, my name's Marie, and if you need anything your call button's on the left there by your hand. Try not to move around too much just yet."
"Where's everyone?" he managed to ask.
"What? Oh. Your admissions papers say that you came in without family. Do you have the name of a family member I can call?"
Family? Not in this state, and not that he wanted to see.
"My niece and nephew are in the waiting room," he said, counting on the fact that Sara and at least one of the men had stayed. He could have lied better, but his chest felt so tight. All the same, he managed to add, "And my niece's husband might be with them."
"Okay, Mr. Grissom. I'll get one of the volunteers to run downstairs and try to find them. Try to rest now," Marie told him and walked away.
He closed his eyes but still could not keep the glare of the fluorescent lights out of his eyes. It occurred to him that he did not really want them to see him like this. He had not even asked for Catherine, knowing that she was going to be impossible for the others to find. He would have someone call her, if he could remember where he left the number.
The main thought in his mind was that he was glad it had not been Sara who had gotten hurt. She already had so much trouble trusting people. She had already been hurt enough.
~*~*~*~*~
Sara let Nick hold her. Finally feeling some amount of safety and warmth in a human being's arms again. She let the tears come, angry and scared and remorseful tears. "He trusted me with his life. It's assumed when we're out together. And I didn't hold up my end. I let him get hurt. God, I am so sorry, Nick." He just held her, lips pressed against the perfectly straight part in her hair on top of her head.
Warrick stood at the row of pay phones by the door and watched. He knew that if Grissom did not make it Sara was going to lose it.
She really did have that same look as a tortured teenager. One who knows that she is holding on to life by a thread. The kind that knew that she was slowly losing control on her life. That if one more thing happened to her, if Dad remarried or if her neighbor moved, she was going to say "screw it" and quit bothering. He understood how kids ended up with drug problems, because he had done the same thing with gambling. He had just lasted a little longer.
He had tried Catherine's house, the lab, and even Lindsay's father. No one knew where she was this weekend. He figured Grissom did. Just one of those unforeseeable things.
He slammed the phone down and tried to stop his shaking hands. It was not just Sara that he was worried about. He was pretty sure he was in trouble too.
~*~*~*~*~
A man who could not have been older than twenty stepped off the elevator and surveyed the scene in front of him. His name was Derek and he was actually a lot younger even than he looked. This was community service work, a graduation requirement. He was supposed to find the niece and nephew of a man he never saw named Gil Grissom. He looked for a man and a woman together, and eventually his eyes settled on the pair in the corner. The man was holding the woman that Derek assumed to be the patient's niece. He was not sure, but he really thought these two looked like brother and sister. He walked over to them and faced Nick, and spoke over Sara's shoulder.
"Excuse me, sir, are you the family of Gil Grissom?"
"Yes," Nick said hesitantly, not knowing what Grissom had said in order to get them together all.
"Well, your uncle asked for his niece and nephew."
Nick wondered if Grissom wanted Sara and Warrick or Sarah and him.
"That's us," Sara said, sitting the rest of the way up and rubbing her eyes.
"Oh, good. I was hoping I hadn't gotten the wrong family," Derek said in a voice that suggested it would not be the first time. "He also asked for your husband, ma'am. Do you know where he is?"
"Yes," Sara said, watching Warrick watch them.
"Okay, then." Derek watched them. "I'll be over by the elevator. Just come over when you find your husband."
"Thank you," Nick told him.
"Of course." And he walked back to the elevator.
Sara and Nick met Warrick halfway through the waiting room. "How is he?" Warrick asked.
"He's alive. He's okay to enough to think of a lie to get us all up there."
Warrick sighed with relief and raised an eyebrow at the same time.
"You and I are married," Sara told him.
"Fun," Warrick said. And the three walked over to where the young man was helping an elderly woman onto the elevator on her way to the maternity ward to see her newborn great-grandson. He turned to face them and gestured into the elevator and followed them inside.
The ride in the elevator was interesting. The woman had decided to show Warrick pictures of the her children and grandchildren. "They said that I'd never see a great-grandchild, but they were wrong. There's a beautiful baby boy up there waiting to see me."
"I'm sure he's as wonderful as all your children and grandchildren have been," Warrick said, having no idea what the proper response was.
"Oh, they just keep getting better," she beamed.
Derek watched the exchange with a smile on his lips. He tried to get more volunteer time on the maternity ward because even on the worst day the joys number higher than the heartbreaks. His attention was drawn to the other side of the elevator, where the patient's niece was squeezing the nephew's hand and he was whispering in her ear. He reached up and gently stroked her hair.
"Congratulations," Warrick said as the woman wheeled herself off the elevator.
"Thank you, and good luck to you. You seem like you have a wonderful family too," she said, waving her hand at the group in the elevator before going down the hall to find the newest member of her family.
The elevator stopped on their floor and Derek stepped off, gesturing for them to follow. They did and he walked to the nurse's station to let them know he had found the patient's family.
He spoke briefly with Marie, a cute nurse who he had a bit of a crush on. "Thank you," she said, patting his arm and making him blush. Warrick thought he looked like Greg right then.
"You can sit down there until I check with the doctors about Mr. Grissom having visitors," Marie said.
"Wait! No one's even told us how he is!" a red-eyed Sara exclaimed as the nurse started to walk away.
Marie turned around. "Oh dear, I guess you haven't spoken with anyone. He's stable now, but I really shouldn't say anything, because it would just be an educated guess. His surgeon makes rounds in about ten minutes. After that you can talk to doctor and maybe even go see your uncle." Marie patted Sara's hand and Sara flinched back against Nick. The nurse watched Sarah's reaction then turned and walked away.
The next ten minutes were going to be longer than the last few hours, Sara realized. She chewed on her bottom lip and leaned her head back against the wall. She wished she had never met her boss, while at the same time she did not know what she was going to do if lost him.
She watched the clock.