The next morning he woke up in a down bed with a very unfamiliar symbolic
pattern; it had a thick down comforter, and smelled highly of feminine
pheromones. He recognized the room only by a few postcards, posters, bumper
stickers and stuff from the obverse side of the door; he was in Laura's
room.
There was a strong smell coming from somewhere… edible, no doubt, it burned the hairs in Eric's nose, but he found it quite tantalizing. He rubbed his face to see if he needed a shave; but found some dry, blood-soaked industrial strength gauze. He ventured out into the kitchen.
Laura was huddled over the stove cooking something in… who'd a guessed it… her bathrobe.
"Why not just…" started Eric, but his throat was dry, his stomach; empty, and his heart told him not to insult her, because she is such a divine creature, his brain told him "Grasshopper, do not bite the hand that feeds you" "Aww, screw it."
Laura banked her head around, knowing what he was going to say, and proud of him for not saying it.
"Up for some home style cooking?" said Laura, in a outrageously phony southern accent
"Sure," said Eric, hazily, "to drink?"
"What would you like?" she asked politely
"Texas tea'd do me rightly fine" he said in an equally snake oil southern accent
"Hmm," said Laura, glancing in the fridge "All out, how do you make it?"
Eric burst into hysterics "I jest, ma'am, Texas tea is Crude Oil!"
"Right, you jest," said Laura
"What's with the bandages?" asked Eric
"I seem to remember someone in the living room doing aerials with a butterfly knife who couldn't quite seem to catch it in his teeth" Laura Said coyly as she turned on the TV.
"Today is a day of arms" said the announcer "people taking them up as GDI leaders across the united states head to the IMS Philadelphia for a meeting of a breakthrough on the mysterious 'Godsend' project. Right here in Texas, GDI officers are keeping the peace as Colonel Gene Wesly takes his shuttle into space. People are running wild through the streets, but our boys in gold are keeping the peace; we go live with correspondent Nick Johnstone in Waco, where a press conference was scheduled with leaders of Beta Squadron, GDI, and the Waco Militia.
Reporter: Cpt. Masterson, is it true that the brotherhood is going to launch an attack on the Philadelphia once the leaders are up?
Masterson: I don't know where you PEOPLE get your Intel, but I can assure you that the brotherhood hasn't the technology to assault a space station, and even if they were, there would be no way to know about it.
Reporter: Cpt. Masterson, Soldiers have been seen picking fights with innocent civilians, how is this justifiable?
Masterson: As I said before, where you people scoop the 4-1-1, I haven't the faintest, but I keep all my men under lock and key 24-7.
Reporter: Cpt. Masterson, are you currently married?
Masterson: I wasn't aware that we had become uninterested in the relevance of the topic; besides, I don't believe my marital status is any of your business.
Reporter: Cpt. Masterson, who will win the World Series?
Masterson: You can't honestly tell me you're getting PAID to schedule a press conference on the day of a huge national event, ask me about my marital status and baseball? If there are any further questions of this nature, I shall feel the need to deck reporters.
Reporter: Cpt. Masterson, why do fools fall in love?
Masterson: Lieutenant Kapp! Clear out these reporters! Sergeant Homer, go give this holodisk to Colonel Wesly before he leaves, Corporal Rodgers, assist lieutenant Kapp in giving these men the 1-2, and I will see to it that there is never another military press conference in Texas for the next zillion years!!!
"Well," said the reporter "I'm Guy Persons, and Balding Eagle is away in the Caimans eating live explosives! Until next time, this is the 11;47 o' clock news!"
Eric turned off the T.V.; but No further silence was heard…
"Captain Masterson, I got your holodisk; I'll be sure to watch it aboard the Philly." Said Colonel Wesly "Did you give Jenna the respective food container labels"
"Yes sir," replied Captain Masterson over the communicator "But I doubt she'll use it…" the transmission began to quaver, and shake
"What in the devil is going on over there?" asked Colonel Wesly
"THE BROTHERHOOD!" shouted Masterson "THEY'RE LAYING SIEGE TO WACO, YOU'VE GOT TO GET OUT! STAY DOWN SOILDER, GET THOSE CAVILLIANS TO A SHELTER, DAMNIT!" The transmission ended
Wesly had his jacket all bunched up around the collar from sitting up and listing, he stood erect, as 2 soldiers escorted him to the launch platform; Colonel Wesly rubbed his chin
"Let's do this" he said firmly, bailing into the shuttle
"A man's life is a precious commodity, just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features does not mean that WE TOO cannot die in freak gasoline fight accidents!"
-Zoolander
There was a strong smell coming from somewhere… edible, no doubt, it burned the hairs in Eric's nose, but he found it quite tantalizing. He rubbed his face to see if he needed a shave; but found some dry, blood-soaked industrial strength gauze. He ventured out into the kitchen.
Laura was huddled over the stove cooking something in… who'd a guessed it… her bathrobe.
"Why not just…" started Eric, but his throat was dry, his stomach; empty, and his heart told him not to insult her, because she is such a divine creature, his brain told him "Grasshopper, do not bite the hand that feeds you" "Aww, screw it."
Laura banked her head around, knowing what he was going to say, and proud of him for not saying it.
"Up for some home style cooking?" said Laura, in a outrageously phony southern accent
"Sure," said Eric, hazily, "to drink?"
"What would you like?" she asked politely
"Texas tea'd do me rightly fine" he said in an equally snake oil southern accent
"Hmm," said Laura, glancing in the fridge "All out, how do you make it?"
Eric burst into hysterics "I jest, ma'am, Texas tea is Crude Oil!"
"Right, you jest," said Laura
"What's with the bandages?" asked Eric
"I seem to remember someone in the living room doing aerials with a butterfly knife who couldn't quite seem to catch it in his teeth" Laura Said coyly as she turned on the TV.
"Today is a day of arms" said the announcer "people taking them up as GDI leaders across the united states head to the IMS Philadelphia for a meeting of a breakthrough on the mysterious 'Godsend' project. Right here in Texas, GDI officers are keeping the peace as Colonel Gene Wesly takes his shuttle into space. People are running wild through the streets, but our boys in gold are keeping the peace; we go live with correspondent Nick Johnstone in Waco, where a press conference was scheduled with leaders of Beta Squadron, GDI, and the Waco Militia.
Reporter: Cpt. Masterson, is it true that the brotherhood is going to launch an attack on the Philadelphia once the leaders are up?
Masterson: I don't know where you PEOPLE get your Intel, but I can assure you that the brotherhood hasn't the technology to assault a space station, and even if they were, there would be no way to know about it.
Reporter: Cpt. Masterson, Soldiers have been seen picking fights with innocent civilians, how is this justifiable?
Masterson: As I said before, where you people scoop the 4-1-1, I haven't the faintest, but I keep all my men under lock and key 24-7.
Reporter: Cpt. Masterson, are you currently married?
Masterson: I wasn't aware that we had become uninterested in the relevance of the topic; besides, I don't believe my marital status is any of your business.
Reporter: Cpt. Masterson, who will win the World Series?
Masterson: You can't honestly tell me you're getting PAID to schedule a press conference on the day of a huge national event, ask me about my marital status and baseball? If there are any further questions of this nature, I shall feel the need to deck reporters.
Reporter: Cpt. Masterson, why do fools fall in love?
Masterson: Lieutenant Kapp! Clear out these reporters! Sergeant Homer, go give this holodisk to Colonel Wesly before he leaves, Corporal Rodgers, assist lieutenant Kapp in giving these men the 1-2, and I will see to it that there is never another military press conference in Texas for the next zillion years!!!
"Well," said the reporter "I'm Guy Persons, and Balding Eagle is away in the Caimans eating live explosives! Until next time, this is the 11;47 o' clock news!"
Eric turned off the T.V.; but No further silence was heard…
"Captain Masterson, I got your holodisk; I'll be sure to watch it aboard the Philly." Said Colonel Wesly "Did you give Jenna the respective food container labels"
"Yes sir," replied Captain Masterson over the communicator "But I doubt she'll use it…" the transmission began to quaver, and shake
"What in the devil is going on over there?" asked Colonel Wesly
"THE BROTHERHOOD!" shouted Masterson "THEY'RE LAYING SIEGE TO WACO, YOU'VE GOT TO GET OUT! STAY DOWN SOILDER, GET THOSE CAVILLIANS TO A SHELTER, DAMNIT!" The transmission ended
Wesly had his jacket all bunched up around the collar from sitting up and listing, he stood erect, as 2 soldiers escorted him to the launch platform; Colonel Wesly rubbed his chin
"Let's do this" he said firmly, bailing into the shuttle
"A man's life is a precious commodity, just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features does not mean that WE TOO cannot die in freak gasoline fight accidents!"
-Zoolander