Title: An Adventure waiting got happen…[ARC 1]
Author: FalconIce
Disclaimer: Ain't mine and will never be…*sniff*
Warnings: Overall general wackiness and sick humor
Pairings: None really…
Rating: Er…PG for weird humor and ideas?
Note: I am bored and in desperate need of good ideas…if you have any, don't hesitate to review and e-mail me na no da!
Archive: http://www.geocities.com/twilight_wings
Reviews: Is my food and my soul! Review to me so that this fic can be improved and if no one says there's nothing wrong then the mistakes will never be corrected, neh? ^.~ Or vice versa, if no one sez its good then it'll stagnate and I might never write again! * big wobbly eyes * You wouldn't want that to happen now would you?
Legend:
* action *
Schwartz Headquarters:
Schuldig: * sitting on the couch watching T.V. with extremely bored look on face * Damn! I'm so *$&^* bored outta my skull! * taps table in front of him impatiently *
Nagi: *Looks up at fellow teammate with an annoyed expression * so go out and do something and quit bothering me here! I'm trying to watch Pokemon!
Schuldig: * nerve * what do you find in that thing anyway? * points annoyed at a particularly annoying piece of yellow stuff toy within the arms of said fellow teammate watching said annoying Pokemon show *
Nagi: * pouts * it's cute! * hugs said stuff toy tighter and glares at the redhead *
Schuldig: * slaps forehead * Fine! I'm going out and looking for something better to do! * huffily stomps away and slams door *
Nagi: * goes back to watching the Saturday morning Pokemon marathon *
Outside in the sidewalk
Schuldig: Argghhhh!!!! * stomps feet * I got driven out of the damn house again! * glares at said house * this happens every Saturday. Brad goes out to shop. Farfie…he's always in that padded room and that DAMN Nagi watches his stupid mind rotting morning cartoons…which leaves ME with NOTHING!!! * glares out to the world around him * YOU HEAR ME? NOTHING!!!! I have %$$^%$ nothing TO DO!!!
Old lady passing by: * adjusts glasses * My my honey! You shouldn't shout like that! Its bad and you're going to wake up all your neighbors! Not to mention that you're causing an awful racket and this contributes to this fair city's noise pollution!
Schuldig: * nerve and raises arm to whack lady on the head then remembers that whacking old ladies on the head would get him in trouble with Brad again since that incident with him whacking one particular old lady on the head which happened to be a rich business woman and had gotten them sued which Bard had subtracted to his pay to a measly amount of only a hundred yen…and that bought next to nothing * Yes Mdm…
Old lady: * continues to berate Schuldig *
Schuldig: * annoyed and taps the ground with foot impatiently * yes Madam…
Old lady: * continues to berate Schuldig *
Schuldig: * glares at old lady * yes Madam…
Old lady: * continues to berate Schuldig *
Schuldig: * imagines situations in head killing said old lady * yes Madam…
Old lady: * continues to berate Schuldig *
Schuldig: * just about ready to rip out his own hair * yes Madam…
Old lady: * continues to berate Schuldig *
Schuldig: * sees a familiar chestnut-haired form amble by * HEY!!!! CHOTTO MATTE KUDASAI!!! (FalconIce Dictionary: PLEASE WAIT!)
Old lady: * nerve * Young man! That's so rude to interrupt when someone is talking!
Schuldig: * waves arms frantically to alert said chestnut-haired form ambling by * YOUJI!!!!!!!
Chestnut-haired form ambling by: * turns around and raises shades * Schuldig?
Old lady: * gets annoyed at being ignored and grabs the redhead's ear and twists it painfully * Young man you should learn to respect your elders!
Schuldig: * flails arms in pain * ITAIIII!!!! (FalconIce Dictionary: PAIN!)
Chestnut-haired form ambling by: * starts to snicker * Wow. The Ever so GREAT Schuldig of Schwartz laid low to his knees before an old woman…* snickers some more * I'm impressed!
Old lady: * continues to berate Schuldig *
Schuldig:* glare*
Chestnut-haired form ambling by: * raises eyebrow and starts to amble away*
Schuldig: * panicked look in eyes * TASUKETE YOUJI! I'll do ANYTHING!
Old lady: * continues to berate Schuldig and twists ear again since he wasn't listening *
Schuldig: * falls to his knees and shoots Youji a pleading look*
Youji: * raise eyebrow and smiles wickedly * anything?
Schuldig: * winces *
Old lady: * notices Youji * is this your friend young man?
Youji: Hai!
Old lady: * lets go of Schuldig's ear * you better teach you friend some manners! He has no respect for his elders!
Schuldig: * rubs sore ear and shoots daggers towards old lady with his eyes *
Youji: * smiles evilly * I see…I will see to it that he learns proper discipline…* evil tone *
Schuldig: * looks suspiciously and a little frightened at Youji *
Old lady: * shoots a glare at Schuldig and turns away to leave * Make sure you do! * goes away *
Youji: * looks at pouting Schwartz before him * you did say anything didn't you Schuldig?
Schuldig: * glares * Yah? So?
Youji: * smirks * It's bad for me to help you…Since you're the enemy and all…
Schuldig: Where are you going with this?
Youji: * raises an eyebrow * I mean, if Aya ever finds out I helped a member of Schwartz he's liable to…
Schuldig: * nerve * I get where you're going…Get to the POINT already!
Youji: * tsk-tsked * How very impatient of you…
Schuldig: * growls underneath his breath *
Youji: * smiles * Anyway, I was just going flower picking and since I'm feeling kind of lonely…You can come with me!
Schuldig: * sweatdrop then thinks about it and comes to the conclusion that he's got nothing better to do * Sure…why not? I'm bored enough as it is.
Youji: * helps the redhead up and claps him on the back good naturedly* Well! Let's GO!
(In the middle of nowhere…Somewhere near a mountain, a forest and rocks)
]
Schuldig: * stubs a toe on a big rock * ITAI!!! SHEIβ!!!
Youji: * laughs at the other's misfortune *
Schuldig: * glares and sits down on a boulder cradling his sore toe * what's so damn funny, huh Kudou? And why the hell do we have to climb a damn mountain just to get that stupid—what the hell was it called again?
Youji: * sighs and sits down beside the annoyed Schwartz member * It's called Alcea rosea L. ev. Nigra or in common terms, a Hollycock.
Schuldig: * Slaps forehead * and don't tell me that it only grows in the mountains…* big dallop pf sarcasm * right?
Youji: * grins * YUP! We ran out so—
(Gets cut off as the bushes behind them starts shaking and suddenly there's a loud roar in the air)
Schuldig: * pales considerably * is that what I think it is?
Youji: O.O If what you're thinking is a bear then…yeah…
(Bear tramples bushes and roars again. Sees the Weiss and the Schwartz and glares at them balefully)
Schuldig: I think it sees us…
Youji: You think…* looks just about to bolt then notices that Schuldig still has his stubbed toe * You can run with that?
Schuldig: * nerve * I'm a member of Schwartz, What do you think?
Bear: * gets annoyed at their squabbling and roars louder, then charges *
Schuldig and Youji: O.O * both start to scramble and run away *
Schuldig: * still running * you do know that bears can reach speeds up to 30 miles an hour, don't you?
Youji: O.O I didn't know that…
Bear: GROWR!!!!
Schuldig and Youji: * thinking * we're dead!
Schuldig: * stumbles on a root * OH SH*T!
Youji: * looks back and starts to curse * Stupid bumbling Schwartz! * looks at bear who is getting nearer and nearer *
Schuldig: Run! Save yourself!
Youji: F*ck you! I'm not falling for that trick! I'm saving you or else Aya will whoop my ass!
Schuldig: * struggles to get up then spies a tree * let's climb the tree!
Youji: * nods and helps Schuldig up * Hurry! Or we're bear food!
Youji and Schuldig: * climbs up tree *
Bear: * paces bellow them, then gets tired and falls asleep at the base of the tree *
Youji: * sweatdrop * of all places to—
Schuldig: * gets curious about earlier thing Kudou said * Why will Aya whoop your ass if I get killed?
Youji: * blushes * if ya didn't know by now, Aya's having this thing with Crawford…
Schuldig: O.O Really now?
Youji: Yup! If you get whooped, I get whooped, then Aya gets whooped and Crawford gets whooped…
Schuldig: * sweatdrop * I get the picture…
Youji: * suddenly stills and stares at the back of Schuldig * Schu, don't move.
Schuldig: * gets blue lines * Ugh, why?
Youji: * pales * your sitting directly in front of a bee's hive.
Schuldig: * pales then whispers * I don't know what's worse, the bear or the bees…
Youji: What're we gonna do?
Schuldig: Either we face cuddly and stinky down there or the bees.
Youji: * sweatdrop * which would you prefer?
Schuldig: * sweatdrop * How about we wait this out?
Youji: * sweatdrop * …………
(They waited and they waited. About mid afternoon, the bear wakes up, looses interest on his former quarry, and moves on *
Youji: * sighs in relief * finally! My rumps just about numb from sitting on the branch for so long! * climbs down *
Schuldig: * stomach growls * I'm hungry.
(Unknowns to both a squirrel passed by and jiggled the bee hive just behind Schuldig)
Youji: You're not the only one, ya know. * hops down to the ground and dusts off his slacks *
Schuldig: * jumps down unknowingly knocking beehive a little looser * Ah! I can finally stretch! * raises arms above head to stretch *
(A wind blows by and the beehive is knocked loose off the branch its on then falls right on top of a certain red-haired German's head *
Youji: O.O Schu…you've got something on your head…
Schuldig: * sweatdrop *
(Both start to hear a familiar buzzing noise and said buzzing noise coincidentally is coming from said thing on certain red-haired German's head)
Schuldig: AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! * starts flailing around like a stupid idiot *
(Bees, annoyed by the constant disturbances, starts to fly out)
Youji: O.O * starts to inch away slowly then spots a tree stump with water in it *
(Bees gets really angry and sees flailing red-haired German)
Schuldig: * pales considerably then tries best to dislodge the thing on his head *
(Bees targeting enemy and are aiming their stingers)
Youji: * finds that tree stump is loose, rips it out of ground *
Schuldig: * tries to run away from killer honey bees *
(Bees, CHARGE!)
Schuldig: * dives into an inconspicuous bush *
Youji: * throws the stump-ful of heavy water at the bees and effectively drowning them then goes to said inconspicuous bush and dumps the rest of the water on Schuldig *
Youji: * sighs * let's go… * helps Schwartz member up *
(Few minutes later)
Schuldig: * itching like hell still dripping wet and still has honey on his head * how was I supposed to know that it was poison ivy…* grumbles and itches some more *
Youji: * laughs * you're such a mess do you know that? * laughs some more *
Schuldig: * glares and itches some more * the first stream we come to, I'm taking a bath…* itch*
Youji: * grins * Sure, sure! Come to think of it, I could use one too.
(They find a beautiful pond right smack in the middle of a small forest clearing and with a whoop of joy both men start to strip then dives into the water…)
FI: Do you think I'd be merciful to our boys? HELL NO!
Youji: * notices a climbing sensation on his back * Schu, you doin that?
Schuldig: Doin what?
Youji: * blue lines * you're not rubbing my back?
Schuldig: * blue lines * Ugh, no why?
Youji: * bluer lines * there's something at my back…
Schuldig: * pales * Now that you mention it, I feel something climb up my leg…
Youji and Schuldig: O.O! * Both hastily jump out of the water *
(They sit down on nearby crop of boulders panting. They look at each other and get huge sweatdrops)
Youji: * pries out a leech with his pocket knife * this is your entire fault!
Schuldig: * is burning a leech head with one of Youji's cigarettes * Now who suggested picking flowers in the middle of nowhere? Huh, Kudou?
Youji: * throws a leech and starts on another one * Huh! You're the one who suggested taking a bath!
Schuldig: * harrumphs then pries another leech loose * ………
Youji: * sighs as he pries yet another one loose * I guess we're both dumb to take a bath in that suspicious looking pond.
Schuldig: * glares at Youji * so, you admit huh?
Youji: * glares right back * I'm not admitting to anything that you're not admitting to.
Schuldig: * growls * let's get this thing over with! I want to go home and take a REAL bath!
Author's Notes:
Do you think I should continue with this? Review if ya do and I'll continue with the ARC, okie dokie? ^.^
Author: FalconIce
Disclaimer: Ain't mine and will never be…*sniff*
Warnings: Overall general wackiness and sick humor
Pairings: None really…
Rating: Er…PG for weird humor and ideas?
Note: I am bored and in desperate need of good ideas…if you have any, don't hesitate to review and e-mail me na no da!
Archive: http://www.geocities.com/twilight_wings
Reviews: Is my food and my soul! Review to me so that this fic can be improved and if no one says there's nothing wrong then the mistakes will never be corrected, neh? ^.~ Or vice versa, if no one sez its good then it'll stagnate and I might never write again! * big wobbly eyes * You wouldn't want that to happen now would you?
Legend:
* action *
Schwartz Headquarters:
Schuldig: * sitting on the couch watching T.V. with extremely bored look on face * Damn! I'm so *$&^* bored outta my skull! * taps table in front of him impatiently *
Nagi: *Looks up at fellow teammate with an annoyed expression * so go out and do something and quit bothering me here! I'm trying to watch Pokemon!
Schuldig: * nerve * what do you find in that thing anyway? * points annoyed at a particularly annoying piece of yellow stuff toy within the arms of said fellow teammate watching said annoying Pokemon show *
Nagi: * pouts * it's cute! * hugs said stuff toy tighter and glares at the redhead *
Schuldig: * slaps forehead * Fine! I'm going out and looking for something better to do! * huffily stomps away and slams door *
Nagi: * goes back to watching the Saturday morning Pokemon marathon *
Outside in the sidewalk
Schuldig: Argghhhh!!!! * stomps feet * I got driven out of the damn house again! * glares at said house * this happens every Saturday. Brad goes out to shop. Farfie…he's always in that padded room and that DAMN Nagi watches his stupid mind rotting morning cartoons…which leaves ME with NOTHING!!! * glares out to the world around him * YOU HEAR ME? NOTHING!!!! I have %$$^%$ nothing TO DO!!!
Old lady passing by: * adjusts glasses * My my honey! You shouldn't shout like that! Its bad and you're going to wake up all your neighbors! Not to mention that you're causing an awful racket and this contributes to this fair city's noise pollution!
Schuldig: * nerve and raises arm to whack lady on the head then remembers that whacking old ladies on the head would get him in trouble with Brad again since that incident with him whacking one particular old lady on the head which happened to be a rich business woman and had gotten them sued which Bard had subtracted to his pay to a measly amount of only a hundred yen…and that bought next to nothing * Yes Mdm…
Old lady: * continues to berate Schuldig *
Schuldig: * annoyed and taps the ground with foot impatiently * yes Madam…
Old lady: * continues to berate Schuldig *
Schuldig: * glares at old lady * yes Madam…
Old lady: * continues to berate Schuldig *
Schuldig: * imagines situations in head killing said old lady * yes Madam…
Old lady: * continues to berate Schuldig *
Schuldig: * just about ready to rip out his own hair * yes Madam…
Old lady: * continues to berate Schuldig *
Schuldig: * sees a familiar chestnut-haired form amble by * HEY!!!! CHOTTO MATTE KUDASAI!!! (FalconIce Dictionary: PLEASE WAIT!)
Old lady: * nerve * Young man! That's so rude to interrupt when someone is talking!
Schuldig: * waves arms frantically to alert said chestnut-haired form ambling by * YOUJI!!!!!!!
Chestnut-haired form ambling by: * turns around and raises shades * Schuldig?
Old lady: * gets annoyed at being ignored and grabs the redhead's ear and twists it painfully * Young man you should learn to respect your elders!
Schuldig: * flails arms in pain * ITAIIII!!!! (FalconIce Dictionary: PAIN!)
Chestnut-haired form ambling by: * starts to snicker * Wow. The Ever so GREAT Schuldig of Schwartz laid low to his knees before an old woman…* snickers some more * I'm impressed!
Old lady: * continues to berate Schuldig *
Schuldig:* glare*
Chestnut-haired form ambling by: * raises eyebrow and starts to amble away*
Schuldig: * panicked look in eyes * TASUKETE YOUJI! I'll do ANYTHING!
Old lady: * continues to berate Schuldig and twists ear again since he wasn't listening *
Schuldig: * falls to his knees and shoots Youji a pleading look*
Youji: * raise eyebrow and smiles wickedly * anything?
Schuldig: * winces *
Old lady: * notices Youji * is this your friend young man?
Youji: Hai!
Old lady: * lets go of Schuldig's ear * you better teach you friend some manners! He has no respect for his elders!
Schuldig: * rubs sore ear and shoots daggers towards old lady with his eyes *
Youji: * smiles evilly * I see…I will see to it that he learns proper discipline…* evil tone *
Schuldig: * looks suspiciously and a little frightened at Youji *
Old lady: * shoots a glare at Schuldig and turns away to leave * Make sure you do! * goes away *
Youji: * looks at pouting Schwartz before him * you did say anything didn't you Schuldig?
Schuldig: * glares * Yah? So?
Youji: * smirks * It's bad for me to help you…Since you're the enemy and all…
Schuldig: Where are you going with this?
Youji: * raises an eyebrow * I mean, if Aya ever finds out I helped a member of Schwartz he's liable to…
Schuldig: * nerve * I get where you're going…Get to the POINT already!
Youji: * tsk-tsked * How very impatient of you…
Schuldig: * growls underneath his breath *
Youji: * smiles * Anyway, I was just going flower picking and since I'm feeling kind of lonely…You can come with me!
Schuldig: * sweatdrop then thinks about it and comes to the conclusion that he's got nothing better to do * Sure…why not? I'm bored enough as it is.
Youji: * helps the redhead up and claps him on the back good naturedly* Well! Let's GO!
(In the middle of nowhere…Somewhere near a mountain, a forest and rocks)
]
Schuldig: * stubs a toe on a big rock * ITAI!!! SHEIβ!!!
Youji: * laughs at the other's misfortune *
Schuldig: * glares and sits down on a boulder cradling his sore toe * what's so damn funny, huh Kudou? And why the hell do we have to climb a damn mountain just to get that stupid—what the hell was it called again?
Youji: * sighs and sits down beside the annoyed Schwartz member * It's called Alcea rosea L. ev. Nigra or in common terms, a Hollycock.
Schuldig: * Slaps forehead * and don't tell me that it only grows in the mountains…* big dallop pf sarcasm * right?
Youji: * grins * YUP! We ran out so—
(Gets cut off as the bushes behind them starts shaking and suddenly there's a loud roar in the air)
Schuldig: * pales considerably * is that what I think it is?
Youji: O.O If what you're thinking is a bear then…yeah…
(Bear tramples bushes and roars again. Sees the Weiss and the Schwartz and glares at them balefully)
Schuldig: I think it sees us…
Youji: You think…* looks just about to bolt then notices that Schuldig still has his stubbed toe * You can run with that?
Schuldig: * nerve * I'm a member of Schwartz, What do you think?
Bear: * gets annoyed at their squabbling and roars louder, then charges *
Schuldig and Youji: O.O * both start to scramble and run away *
Schuldig: * still running * you do know that bears can reach speeds up to 30 miles an hour, don't you?
Youji: O.O I didn't know that…
Bear: GROWR!!!!
Schuldig and Youji: * thinking * we're dead!
Schuldig: * stumbles on a root * OH SH*T!
Youji: * looks back and starts to curse * Stupid bumbling Schwartz! * looks at bear who is getting nearer and nearer *
Schuldig: Run! Save yourself!
Youji: F*ck you! I'm not falling for that trick! I'm saving you or else Aya will whoop my ass!
Schuldig: * struggles to get up then spies a tree * let's climb the tree!
Youji: * nods and helps Schuldig up * Hurry! Or we're bear food!
Youji and Schuldig: * climbs up tree *
Bear: * paces bellow them, then gets tired and falls asleep at the base of the tree *
Youji: * sweatdrop * of all places to—
Schuldig: * gets curious about earlier thing Kudou said * Why will Aya whoop your ass if I get killed?
Youji: * blushes * if ya didn't know by now, Aya's having this thing with Crawford…
Schuldig: O.O Really now?
Youji: Yup! If you get whooped, I get whooped, then Aya gets whooped and Crawford gets whooped…
Schuldig: * sweatdrop * I get the picture…
Youji: * suddenly stills and stares at the back of Schuldig * Schu, don't move.
Schuldig: * gets blue lines * Ugh, why?
Youji: * pales * your sitting directly in front of a bee's hive.
Schuldig: * pales then whispers * I don't know what's worse, the bear or the bees…
Youji: What're we gonna do?
Schuldig: Either we face cuddly and stinky down there or the bees.
Youji: * sweatdrop * which would you prefer?
Schuldig: * sweatdrop * How about we wait this out?
Youji: * sweatdrop * …………
(They waited and they waited. About mid afternoon, the bear wakes up, looses interest on his former quarry, and moves on *
Youji: * sighs in relief * finally! My rumps just about numb from sitting on the branch for so long! * climbs down *
Schuldig: * stomach growls * I'm hungry.
(Unknowns to both a squirrel passed by and jiggled the bee hive just behind Schuldig)
Youji: You're not the only one, ya know. * hops down to the ground and dusts off his slacks *
Schuldig: * jumps down unknowingly knocking beehive a little looser * Ah! I can finally stretch! * raises arms above head to stretch *
(A wind blows by and the beehive is knocked loose off the branch its on then falls right on top of a certain red-haired German's head *
Youji: O.O Schu…you've got something on your head…
Schuldig: * sweatdrop *
(Both start to hear a familiar buzzing noise and said buzzing noise coincidentally is coming from said thing on certain red-haired German's head)
Schuldig: AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! * starts flailing around like a stupid idiot *
(Bees, annoyed by the constant disturbances, starts to fly out)
Youji: O.O * starts to inch away slowly then spots a tree stump with water in it *
(Bees gets really angry and sees flailing red-haired German)
Schuldig: * pales considerably then tries best to dislodge the thing on his head *
(Bees targeting enemy and are aiming their stingers)
Youji: * finds that tree stump is loose, rips it out of ground *
Schuldig: * tries to run away from killer honey bees *
(Bees, CHARGE!)
Schuldig: * dives into an inconspicuous bush *
Youji: * throws the stump-ful of heavy water at the bees and effectively drowning them then goes to said inconspicuous bush and dumps the rest of the water on Schuldig *
Youji: * sighs * let's go… * helps Schwartz member up *
(Few minutes later)
Schuldig: * itching like hell still dripping wet and still has honey on his head * how was I supposed to know that it was poison ivy…* grumbles and itches some more *
Youji: * laughs * you're such a mess do you know that? * laughs some more *
Schuldig: * glares and itches some more * the first stream we come to, I'm taking a bath…* itch*
Youji: * grins * Sure, sure! Come to think of it, I could use one too.
(They find a beautiful pond right smack in the middle of a small forest clearing and with a whoop of joy both men start to strip then dives into the water…)
FI: Do you think I'd be merciful to our boys? HELL NO!
Youji: * notices a climbing sensation on his back * Schu, you doin that?
Schuldig: Doin what?
Youji: * blue lines * you're not rubbing my back?
Schuldig: * blue lines * Ugh, no why?
Youji: * bluer lines * there's something at my back…
Schuldig: * pales * Now that you mention it, I feel something climb up my leg…
Youji and Schuldig: O.O! * Both hastily jump out of the water *
(They sit down on nearby crop of boulders panting. They look at each other and get huge sweatdrops)
Youji: * pries out a leech with his pocket knife * this is your entire fault!
Schuldig: * is burning a leech head with one of Youji's cigarettes * Now who suggested picking flowers in the middle of nowhere? Huh, Kudou?
Youji: * throws a leech and starts on another one * Huh! You're the one who suggested taking a bath!
Schuldig: * harrumphs then pries another leech loose * ………
Youji: * sighs as he pries yet another one loose * I guess we're both dumb to take a bath in that suspicious looking pond.
Schuldig: * glares at Youji * so, you admit huh?
Youji: * glares right back * I'm not admitting to anything that you're not admitting to.
Schuldig: * growls * let's get this thing over with! I want to go home and take a REAL bath!
Author's Notes:
Do you think I should continue with this? Review if ya do and I'll continue with the ARC, okie dokie? ^.^